


Distorted

by Jesusboi



Series: the hellfire and holy water [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abusive Parents, Akechi Goro Lives, Akira’s backstory is made up by me for the sake of the story, Angst, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Cutting, Dark Past, Depression, Dissociation, Disturbing Themes, Emotional Hurt, Flashbacks, Gen, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Identity Issues, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, It Gets Worse, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not Phantom Thieves positive, Not sure if it gets better, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Persona 5 Protagonist Has A Palace, Persona 5 Spoilers, Personality Swap, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Religious Content, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Content, Suicide Attempt, Survival Horror, Temporary Amnesia, Time Travel, Timelines, Torture, Violence, like a lot, suppressed trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 115,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25829566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jesusboi/pseuds/Jesusboi
Summary: The Phantom Thieves of Hearts discover the confidant on the Nav that shocked them all to the bone. What they didn’t consider was that maybe some hearts were never meant to be changed.[ Persona 5 Protag has a Palace AU ]
Relationships: Kurusu Akira & Phantom Thieves of Hearts
Series: the hellfire and holy water [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019034
Comments: 459
Kudos: 495





	1. oh, the flowers bloom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !CHECK THE TAGS!
> 
> This story might be upsetting to some individuals. It includes descriptions of verbal and physical abuse. There are multiple scenes of non-consensual drug use same as settings that describe phobias/gore. Talks about self-harm, depression, mental illnesses, past abuse, childhood trauma and violent intrusive thoughts. Some chapters might include trigger warnings at the start, but some might not. You’ve been warned. 
> 
> 1) This fic is not phantom-thieves positive; the relationship between them and Akira has massive ups and downs. Futaba and Morgana are the only “support team” of the protagonist, so feel free to express your anger at the others.  
> 2) This fic has a non-canon Akira. Akira in this story has a traumatic past made up by myself for the sake of the plot; also Akira will drastically change after a specific chapter. I suggest keeping an eye on the notes before and after chapters.  
> 3) This fic in no way romanticizes self-harm/depression/mental illnesses/gore/unhealthy thoughts and etc.; this story includes other “creative” ways of self-harm rather than cutting, please refrain from getting “inspired” - this is a mature story with clear tags that serve as a warning. If you are triggered by detailed descriptions, I suggest not reading because there will be a lot of moments.  
> 4) Akechi will appear later in the story (many people asked)  
> 5) The story is only slightly proof-read. I have finished writing this recently, and I am aware that there are countless issues that require fixing. Counting on the fact that this is not a short story, it will take time.  
> 6) This fic does not represent any of my personal feelings nor opinions.

  
**❝** **〚 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑳𝑶𝑮𝑼𝑬 〛❞**

Many would think that Akira‘s past was ordinary, the same one that most ordinary teenagers would have to go through. The boy never talked much about his hometown, family, previous school nor friends. The Phantom Thieves never really bothered to ask and decided not to pry. To be honest, even if they would question anything, the boy would not have much to offer. His memory had always been foggy. Plus to all, Akira was known to be more of a shut-in in their group; someone who could rarely let anyone inside. So far, nobody had managed to open up his heart and free him from this never-ending loop of mind games. There was no one to blame in such consequences. There was no one to blame for what had happened, but Akira decided to blame himself anyway. 

  
The first bloom happened when he got arrested after protecting an innocent woman from a politician who clearly had an upper hand in the situation and did not care about ruining one teenager’s life. Since then Akira would constantly hear phrases like, ‘ _this is all your fault_ ’, and ‘ _you ruined our life! our reputation! we are being sued!_ ’ and ‘ _that is what you get for sticking your nose into business between two adults_ ’ and ‘ _you little demon, always getting us in trouble!_ ’ and ‘ _you must be cursed!_ ’ and many more. People seemed to enjoy to abuse the good deed that he had done, as if protecting that woman was the worst decision that he had ever come up with in his life. It almost felt like he was destined to suffer while helping others. Like he was meant to carry other people’s sins as if they were his own. Like his fate consisted of suffering and pain alone. 

The second bloom happened the first time they entered the Mementos and Akira did not prepare well enough for the trip. For some reason he got overly careless and forgot to remind Ann to buy the needed medicine from Takemi, until it was too late. He had to waste his last droplets of SP to cure everyone and eventually run away from the battle with the Shadow. Nobody had known that Ann was the one responsible for purchasing medicine that day, so they immediately decided to lash out their angry frustrations onto the Leader. Even though he did not let it get to him at first, there was still an aching feeling somewhere deep down in his chest which did not seem to go away until everyone calmed down and apologized. But the apology felt empty. At least to Akira it seemed that way. 

The third bloom happened when Makoto discovered them. The fault of the situation almost immediately fell onto his weak psyche. If he would have told the rest of the thieves to be more careful - then this would have never happened in the first place. Instead of the student council president, it could have been a detective working under the police and they would all be arrested at this point. 

The fourth bloom happened in Futaba’s Palace. It effected him in a weird way. Like he felt almost familiar with the place; as if something lingered within his heart in a painful ache of nostalgia. He was happy that they managed to help Futaba and save her from these horrific traumatic experiences, but the more he thought about it the less he could stop himself from thinking. ‘ _Nobody would want to save me_ ’.  


But now was not the time to even think about Futaba’s Tomb or his own selfish wellbeing, it was long time in the past and there were other things that Akira should be worrying about. The infiltration into her Palace happened back in August, and it was now October and they had Sae’s Palace in their schedule to stress over.  


Plus to all, another frustration that would not leave his mind was working alongside with the traitor who was planning to ambush and kill Joker at any given moment. Just the thought of how easy it was for Akechi to consider assassinating Akira without a doubt - stabbed him in the gut. What’s more, the plan that the Phantom Thieves came up with: where he will be captured and interrogated, was not fancied by the Leader. His life was at stake. It made him wonder if his real feelings will ever be considered in the first place, and wether they actually mattered to his confidants or no. _Was it really that easy to throw him into the jaws of death? Was it that easy to play with his life?_

Being the Leader of the Phantom Thieves and a student with a criminal record on probation was not as easy as everyone seemed to assume. Every single day Akira had something to do. It could be a part-time job to find out more about the target in Mementos or purchase of more weapons from an ex-yakuza. It could be a clinical trial in order to buy more medicine or obsessive readings of books about charm in order to be more attractive.  


There were nights spent at the gym to raise his SP and HP meters, there were nights spent in the Velvet room to fuse new Personas or strengthen the old ones. There were nights where he studied until 3am in the morning with Morgana asleep; not suspecting about what the boy was up to. And there were mornings when the only thing that kept his legs moving was caffeine overdose and motivation to not disappoint his friends any further. He had to carry all this. _He had to._

If he were to be brutally honest, such an active lifestyle without any breaks or even a proper time to rest began to get into his head. Constant restlessness started to effect his sleep too, as Akira seemed to be haunted by the same nightmare every now and then, which sent shivers down his spine. It was rather a strange dream. Sometimes when he would wake up, his hands would immediately reach towards the notes on his phone and write everything down. He liked reflecting on such things, but the more he began to realize the sub-messages in these nightmares, the less he began to write down. Eventually, he deleted everything.

The dream haunted him once or twice a week. It was himself - sitting on a massive throne in a dark suit, similar to Joker’s outfit but with more elegance in it and less color. The other him would not talk nor say any word, but just simply shake his head almost in disappointment every time they’d meet.  


Then he would pull out a deck of cards and throw them all on a table with aggression in the act - every single one of them was the illustration of different kinds of angels and demons. The longer Akira would look at the figure in front of him, the more cold and paralyzed he would feel. Almost as if he was being suppressed by his own self, and gradually replaced into a new person. The demon and angel cards on the table would slowly vanish into the thin atmosphere, and only one would float up in the air right in front of his vision with the words written in dried blood: _“Thou shall fall to ruin.”_

**-**

“Akira! Akira!” The boy felt a light weight on his chest, as something soft pressed against his right cheek. Soon enough he began to feel uncomfortable, as he had finally opened his sore eyes in confusion. He had looked up to see Morgana on top of him, who looked worried. For a cat he had quite a lot of face expressions, Akira noticed. It was a distant thought, the one that seemed to be unaware of the nightmare that he had just now went through.

“Morgana..?” Akira called out, his vision was still hazy from the sudden awakening. His voice was extremely low and raspy due to him not talking for a while, and using his voice even slightly hurt. For how long had he been asleep?

“You were having a nightmare and constantly shifting in your sleep. Not just that, this is happening every night since Futaba’s Palace. Are you alright?” The cat asked, as he laid down more comfortably next to the boy, his big expressive blue eyes stared at Akira with concern, but the other was quick to brush it off.

“Of course I am fine, what are you talking about.” The boy grinned, while reaching his hand forward and gently scratching Morgana behind his ears; immediately making the other purr in satisfaction. The fur felt soft against his skin, calming him down too.

Was Joker fine? Probably the obvious answer would be _no_. He wasn’t fine. He was far from it. Did he want to acknowledge and fight that? Of course no. Because there was no need to. He will be fine, no matter what. He must carry out his role without stopping. Without any obstacles in his way. He must carry everyone’s sins like his own. It was his duty. To carry and fix other people’s mistakes. Make deals in order to gain the benefit. He shall continue this path without stopping, because that is what a _leader_ would do. 

“If you say so.” The cat yawned as it stretched it’s body and re-positioned itself against Akira while curling into a fluffy ball. Joker sighed in relief, and turned onto his right side of the bed. 

_ ‘Why am I not okay? Why? Has it always been this heavy on my heart? What is even going on with me?’ _

He couldn’t brush away this thought no matter how much he tried, he always winced as if in pain at almost kicking himself in the face in order to focus on something else but the dark thoughts. These unwanted wonders did not belong to him, he refused to believe that a part of him was slowly rotting away.  


A pain would be a great distraction, sure, but he was not about to slap himself on the cheek and startle already stressed out Morgana. He must lay low with his feelings and figure it out by himself. It’s for the best. Nobody had to know that he has been struggling with himself ever since he had moved to Tokyo.. _or maybe even before that. Definitely before that too.. but he could not remember what exactly happened. Not that he would **want** to remember. Some things are better off to be lost._

** PHANTOMS**

**Ann** : should we maybe meet up today and discuss our next moves? 

**Yusuke** : That would be quite a wise call on our current situation. We must decide our next steps carefully.

**Ryuji** : so... all we gotta do is just beat the shit outta sae’s shadow, let akira be captired n shit n then everythin will be fine, no? 

**Ann** : ryuji .. that’s not how it works. 

**Makoto** : I knew you were hopeless, Skull, but I never thought it was to such extent.

**Ryuji** : hey! 

**Ann** : i agree with queen, but not as shocked as she is 

**Ryuji** : shuddup 

**Akira** : lmao why are you all chatty so early. its sunday and me + morgana were hoping to have a nice sleep uknow 

**Ann** : akira! 

**Yusuke** : You’re up a lot earlier than usual, is something the matter? 

**Akira** : I just said that you were all blowing up my phone lol 

**Makoto** : Sorry for that, but it’s Sunday and a big day is coming up. It’s okay for you to put the phone on silent and read up later if you wish so.. 

**Ann** : yup! Yup! 

**Akira** : no, wait. I have a better idea. Let’s gather up and have a final talk about the whole situation, alright? 

**Haru** : of course! Do you want for all of us to meet at Leblanc? 

**Akira** : I think that’s the best place. Morgana agrees too. 

**Ryuji** : gotcha bro! See ya 

**Ann** : Wait! Jesus, Ryuji. 

**Ann** : At what time are we meeting? 

**Yusuke** : I was about to ask that question. 

**Makoto** : Same. 

**Ann** : Akira? 

**Makoto** : ... 

**Yusuke** : He must have fallen back asleep perhaps.. 

**Makoto** : Could be, but that’s unlike him. 

**Ann** : Akiraaaaaaaaaa

**Futaba** : Akiraaaaaaaaaaaʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄

**Akira** : Sorry, I was talking to Morgana.

**Ann** : that’s okay! So...? 

**Akira** : 2pm is best for me and you all can stay until as late as you like, as long as we do not disturb the costumers 

**Ryuji** : does that place even has visitors? 

**Yusuke** : then the timing is decided. I shall see you all at Leblanc, but there are chances of me being late due to a rush hour on the subways. 

**Ryuji** : thats alright man 

**Haru** : yeah! No need to worry about that:)  


**Ann** : I will bring some snacks!   
  
  


**Futaba** : :O srsl?!   


**Ann** : But I’m good with sweet stuff, not salty or spicy.. 

**Futaba** : You’re no fun panther. Also! You’ll end up diabetic ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ

**Ann** : no I will not! 

**Ryuji** : Ill bring salty n spicy shit!   
  
  


**Futaba** : :D 

**Akira** : well then, see you all!

** - **

“So.. now that we almost reached Sae’s treasure..” Ryuji sighed as he threw himself onto Akira’s bed while everyone was gathered on the Leblanc’s attic just how they agreed in the group chat. Haru, Ann and Makoto were seated on the sofa, as they sipped on their freshly made cups of coffee by their Leader. The boy had learned from the best, so it would be a sin to miss an opportunity of proposition “on the house”. Futaba made herself comfortable on Akira’s working table where he would often make infiltration tools with the laptop in front of her, meanwhile the rest - including Akira - sat on the floor covered with a soft blanket so that they would not get too cold. 

“All of this is extremely nerve-wracking-“ Ann spoke up, as she played with the lock of her hair whole furrowing her eyebrows, “-at the same time I feel weirdly exited.” She admitted, making Akira glance in surprise. Even more surprised at the fact that nobody seemed to disagree with her about the last part of what she said.

_ ‘Why do I feel hurt by this?’ _

“Hey!” The cat jumped down from the counter onto the floor, “Don’t let your guard down. Our plan with Akira getting arrested is highly risky, we have no second chances and his life is at stake!” Morgana sat down while licking his paw. He was usually the one to give the Thieves a reality check, and somewhere deep down Akira appreciated that. 

“I’m sure it’ll be fine, man.” Ryuji waved his hand in a dismissing gesture, “It’s Akira we talkin’ about. This guy will never let himself be beat that easy.” He grinned at the leader, to which Akira immediately reacted back by nodding with a fake-confident look on his face.

“I don’t know exactly what’s going on through your head at the moment, Akira, but I am also positive that everything will turn out just fine.” Makoto smiled at him, as she took another sip from the coffee mug in her hand, gently setting it down onto the table next to Futaba’s laptop.

“Don’t spill this onto my baby!” Suddenly Futaba shouted, as she noticed Makoto’s hand with the cup being too close to her PC than required.

“I won’t...” Queen sighed, and before she could say more, hacker spoke again.

“And you’re right! My key item is my key item for a reason! He’ll make it out just fine!” The red hair hummed happily and went back to her typing, as she chewed on the chips at the same time that Ryuji brought for her. 

Then it all turned into a distant chatter at the back of Akira’s mind. The company of his friends surrounding him in the attic was warm and welcoming, but for some reason he felt like distancing himself from them. He felt like escaping. They all had high expectations for him, and no matter how much he would fail - the burden of being the Leader shall never leave his side.

An ugly part of him despised that.

He envied how all they had to do was follow his lead and depend on him. They did not have to know half of the Tokyo in order to get everything prepared for the fights and infiltrations. They did not need to have over 10 part time jobs, they did not need to constantly reflect on themselves and self-develop, they did not need to constantly spend all of their savings on weapons and medicines. They did not need to memorize each other’s Personas, how he had. He memorized all of their Personas, so that he could gather up the best team for a specific Palace or trip to Mementos. Remember their weaknesses and strengths, always protect them from the hit and have shields, medicines or spells on him. They never had to bother about every little detail of what they were doing because they had Akira who would always take care of everything problematic and reassure them that it’s fine. It’s okay to make mistakes, because after all he will be the one fixing them. Not the rest of the Phantom Thieves. They did not have to care about acting low or being extra careful because they did not have a criminal record. They do not know this fear of risk that Akira had to go through whenever he would do something illegal for his friends. 

And yet here he was, sitting in the attic where he had been living for the past 6 months and awaiting for the moment when they will have to defeat a powerful shadow and plus to all - get arrested. _Again_. There was no escape, even if he would find one.. he would still have to let himself be caught. He never had a choice in the matter, since it was the “best for the team” and he was “their leader”. He had to take the fall, because that was the * _right_ * thing to do. The * _selfless_ * thing to do.

The way how they talked to him almost sounded like they were reassuring themselves and one another, but not Akira. Because their leader had to be strong enough to be able to handle everything while his confidants will be sitting in their safe homes worrying. Simply worrying. That’s all.

“Akira?” The boy snapped out of his thoughts and looked around a bit startled after a sudden physical contact that he felt against his palm. It was Morgana, next to his side while rubbing his head against the boy’s hand as if he could sense the waves of anxiety that Joker was radiating.

The rest of his teammates did not seem to notice, as they kept chattering about some cringe, old, romantic anime that was a huge meme, and meanwhile everyone wanted to watch it - Futaba kept trying to explain how bad it is and she will be simply embarrassed even hear the voice acting. Such casual conversation made Akira crack a faint smile, as he petted Morgana.

“Sorry, I zoned out.” He excused himself to the cat, to which the other shook his head as if saying that it’s alright.

Akira did not like this sudden ugly part of him that began to bloom stronger than ever before. It was always there, but these thoughts had never been so extreme. So pathetic. So defensive. The boy hated even the fact that something of such matter managed to cloud his mind so much that it even shook his personal judgement on the situation. What they were doing was the only thing they could do, there was no other choice. No other way. He had to endure it and be a leader that they expected him to be.

“If you hate it so much, then what do you want to watch?” Asked Akira, as he finally decided to join their conversation and move a bit closer to his circle of friends.

“Anything! Anything but Diabolic Lovers! That is just cringe!” Futaba whined while stumbling her feet against the floor like a little child and tugging slightly at her hair in frustration.

“That’s the point! I want to see the cringiest shit out there!” Ryuji barked back at her, which was quickly followed by everyone laughing almost in union.

“How about Promised Neverland?” Suggested Ann, “I heard that it’s like - very good.” She chuckled, and soon everyone agreed as they set up the laptop and got snacks with drinks. By now they were having a binge movie break all together, even though they did not agree to that from the start.

But Akira could not focus on the show for too long, soon enough his thoughts began to linger back and forth. Circling around his mind with a whisper like a curse. From few annoying seconds, time passed into hours as he felt more and more paralyzed and detached from his body. The world seemed to sink away. His feet and fingers felt numb, he couldn’t move them. It felt like he was zoned out but on a completely different level.

Something was tormenting his heart, he knew that. It had been like this for _months_ , but since when has it become so overwhelming that he could barely breathe? 

Eventually after a few hours, once they were all done and sleepy, his friends walked away back into their houses. Leaving without properly saying goodbye nor wishing him luck. Tomorrow was going to be the day when they’ll take away Sae-san’s treasure and the day when he was going to get arrested. What will come after that? Was up for Akira’s imagination. Was will *really* cone after that? Was up for Akira’s fighting spirit. 

The boy lay in his bed, trying to count the sheep in order to fall asleep, but it seemed to have no effect in reality. How do people even fall asleep by doing this shit? He thought, but soon enough shook his head and tugged at the blanket. Silence in the room, and Morgana’s slow, peaceful breaths brought him back to thinking. Lately he had been thinking _too much_ , and that was annoying. Frustrating. 

He wished that he was more evil. Sudden thought strike him, and he cringed at that and shook his head almost immediately as if trying to brush it off himself. But after a moment, he let his imagination drift further into consideration. Now that he thought about it, his story reminded him of Lucifer’s story in the Bible. An angel casted out of heaven once he rebelled against the higher powers and soon turned into a demon. Was that not exactly how it went down with Akira‘s life? Sure, he would never call his home town “ _heaven_ ”, his tongue would not even be able to twist it like that - but he missed the days when he was not a prisoner of fate but an ordinary student with a difficult life. Whenever Phantom Thieves would make a mistake, as their leader it would always rest on his own shoulders. It will always be his fault. They will always blame him.  


_ Same as whenever humans would sin they would blame the Devil. _

All of a sudden, Akira did not even realize when exactly he had the time to fall asleep, but his dream felt a lot more real than what it should have been. It was the same exact scene. Another him, sitting on the throne right in front of an old, victorian styled table.

“Where am I?” Asked Akira, as he looked around. Everything was invisible around them, pure darkness covered everything. The only thing at which the light was shined at was his other self, which to be honest - quite disturbed him.

“You’re in a part of your cognition.” Answered back his clone, to which Akira furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, “But that does not matter at the moment..” the voice was pleasing to the boy’s ears, but at the same time it felt _venomous_ , too charming, “..we’ll see each other again soon.” 

He woke up. 

His head was aching like crazy, as his hand immediately reached towards the glass of water on his nightstand. Due to his constant shifting, Morgana seemed to have woken up too and lazily climbed off the bed to go downstairs for whatever reason. Most likely to satisfy his hunger with Sojiro’s delicious curry. Seriously, was there anything else to eat here except the homemade extra spicy curry? Probably no, but he was not complaining. 

Akira felt yucky, he noted to himself as he stared at the calendar on the wall right next to his bed. Anxiety was bubbling up in his stomach without a break and all he could do was gulp down the feeling of breaking down. Same as he gulped down Magnesium pill.

_ Get up.  _

_ And fall.  _


	2. needles, and so it goes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira gets caught by the police, as his mind drifts further away into the unknown darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is extremely rushed so i apologize for possible typos or mistakes! Huge thanks to everyone who left kudos, a comment or even just simply clicked onto my story :D

Most of his team was not as stressed as he expected them all to be. Even more, they actually seemed to be quite excited - just how Ann had pointed out the other day. Each and every one of them wanted to deal with everything as fast as possible, and see the outcome of their plan. The thieves carefully sneaked through their enemies, trying to alert as less attention as possible while going towards the treasure’s location at a fast speed. They had to fight only two Shadows on their way up, but rather than an actual battle it played out nice as a warm-up for everyone.

“Listen up, you all must be careful!” Morgana reminded their Team, as he ran up to the front of each teenager and put both of his paws on his hips to seem more intimidating, “No matter what happens always be cautious of your SP and HP levels!” The cat glanced the longest at Ryuji, rather than anyone else in the group, “Think before acting!”

“C’mon, cat, it’ll be fine!” The blonde boy rolled his eyes and took a step forward, all of a sudden he rested his hand on Akira’s shoulder, “We’ve got him, so it’s all Gucci!” Skull grinned, and Joker seemed to have smiled back but with visible hesitation, “Our Leader would never let us down!”

“Exactly.” Ann suddenly commented, as she appeared next to Joker’s left side, “You brought everything what we need, right? You didn’t forget anything, right?” She asked their Leader, to which Akira nodded - not saying anything. He could feel a weird sensation somewhere at the back of his skull, but decided to ignore that. Must be anxiety. No. He can’t have that - he is their Leader. He can’t feel anxious, he must be confident. And lead them forward. Deceive them further into his act.

_ ‘Or you could just make them all fall..’ _

“I would also humbly suggest for you to cast a spell that nullifies confuse or brainwash.” Pointed out Yusuke, to which Haru and Makoto nodded in agreement. The only ones who had not voiced out other remarks or complaints towards Akira were Akechi and Futaba, which surprised Joker. These two, not counting Morgana, were expected to be the most strict with him, but for some reason remained silent.  _ Strange _ , he thought.

“Yeah, man, you totally lose your shit when you’re brainwashed.” Chuckled Ryuji, addressing Akira again, bringing him out of his thoughts. The boy was about to defend himself, but the whisper stopped him again.

_ ‘It’s not their fault that they depend on you like that. Use it to your advantage.’ _

What was this voice? Why did it sound so-  _ evil _ , but  _ cunning _ at the same time? Anyway, what Ryuji said was a joke. Why was he getting so worked up about it? Be cool, calm and collected, “Don’t fail on us like that, or you will end up throwing away pretty good damn shit again.” Joker bit on his lower lip, but no one noticed that.

“Anyway, I think we must hurry.” Crow finally spoke up, breaking the tension that surrounded Akira for the past few minutes. The Leader breathed out a heavy sigh of relief - he had no idea that he was even holding his own breath for so long this whole time.

The adrenaline made Akira push forward, but at the same time made him want to pull back even more. Some weird survival instinct was telling him to not do anything and just hide. He could not help the feeling - a need to protect himself from a possible danger. From a threat that he knew was coming his way. But he was the Leader, he had to stay strong for his friends. He had to take the fall. But he did not want to. He could not help but think that this unfair. He did not want to lose like that. This was an unjust game, and the chances of winning were almost none. 

Finally they have arrived to the Manager’s floor, confronting the final boss with a powerful look in their eyes.

“Now, come at me!” They heard the Shadow of Sae Nijima challenge them for the battle, while wearing an overly-self-assured looking grin on her distorted form. By the looks of it she had no intentions of loosing but that was exactly why they had to be double careful with their actions. This place was a Casino filled with cheats that were under her control. This was her world, and they were the intruders. Challenging the bear in it’s cave. 

Akira quickly thought about all the medicines and shields that he had brought with himself. He had no idea of what kind of attacks the Shadow was going to use, so he had to be prepared for everything to be thrown in their direction. His teammates all had weaknesses, and if Sae would as much as simply manage to hit them in the weak spot - they would all end up in the grave. No matter the fact that Akechi was their traitor and soon enough will be an enemy, Joker knew that he could rely on him the most at the moment, especially with important personalized tasks.

He looked to his right to see how tensed Makoto had felt, as she was almost hesitant with fighting her own older sister and wanted to avoid such brutal confrontation, maybe even to pull back and have someone else replace her position, but before he could say anything assuring to the girl - Akechi beat him to it, while petting Makoto’s shoulder in a reassuring matter with a weak, fake smile.

“You’ll save her, right?” He heard the Crow ask, to which Makoto appeared to find comfort. Already knowing the answer to such bizarre question. Of course she was going to save her. At this point it felt like a duty. The only thoughts that lingered on Akira’s mind was the need to slap away the boy’s hand from the girl, but he held himself back. How could someone be this two-faced and composed at the same time?

_ ‘Hypocrite.’ _

But he had no time to think about this, the Shadow had finally taken her position and prepared to attack the Thieves. They all took a step back, but the rush of blood through their veins made each one of them feel motivated and determined to end this. Well...  _ they _ will end this and secretly take the treasure, while  _ Akira _ will get caught.

The Leader rolled his eyes at himself, now was not the time for this! Seriously, why does every little thing seemed to haunt him?! It was like he could not controlhis mind! It has been like that for months, but never this bad! Focus! Focus on the battle and nothing else! Don’t think! Fight! Protect! Attack! Focus!

With bubbles of frustration still boiling inside of him, Joker casted out the spell using one of his Personas to increase everyone’s attack. Makoto increased everyone’s Defense, and Morgana took care of Accuracy and Evasion. They had to be as prepared as possible, and be aware of not wasting all of their SP too soon. If Sae Nijima would turn up to be immune to physical attacks or guns or possibly have an ability to cast a barrier - they would be in trouble. Huge trouble. 

“Now let us play the game of roulette, the stakes will be - our lives!” The Shadow spoke once again, while Akira was thinking of what should they all do next.

All of a sudden the wheel began to spin, as the screen above them shined with the big neon letters: “ ** BET HP ** ”. Futaba seemed to be confused with the situation, trying to understand the meaning behind all of this, which was not helping - at all, “Of course acts of violence are forbidden here.” Added the Shadow, Akira quietly took a mental note of that. They should not brush off a warning from their appointment like that, they must be careful.  _ Was he always this paranoid? _

Before he could as much as do or say anything - at least tell others to stay on guard and not jump into action, Makoto and Ryuji seemed to have been fired up with their own decisions already. The girl most likely felt hurt by her sister’s words - the two of them jumped for an attack without a mere hesitation. Akira noticed with the corner of his eye how Akechi mumbled something among the lines, “ _ fools _ ”, and sadly he could not even disagree with that. The next thing they knew - Sae’s Shadow attacked them back, lowering both of their HPs to 1. Great, there goes the precious medicine, and they * _ just _ * started the fight. Ann jumped in to heal both of her friends, still in shock from what had just happened.

They had to play this game, at least for now.

“Damn, man! You should’ve warned us!” Ryuji groaned as Panther was treating his wounds, meanwhile Morgana took care of Makoto.

“That was totally unexpected...” Makoto furrowed her eyebrows looking guilty, as if trying to look away from everyone else in shame or embarrassment.

“No worries, Queen! It’s not your fault that Joker did not stop you! Don’t blame yourself!” Ann tried to cheer her up and it worked. Almost immediately the hesitation vanished from her face and she breathed out a lot lighter. Some ugly feeling crawled inside of Akira, but he shrugged his shoulders in defeat. Letting their words slide. Letting them sink deeper into his psyche. Letting these words be one more branch for the nest of his anxiety. Of his self-esteem. Of his worries.

Of his distorted heart.

Akira was quick to notice that Sae Nijima was cheating by using a glass platform, it was pretty obvious and shined brighter than diamonds. Couldn’t she have made it less obvious?

And again - “ _Joker, did you figure this out? How did you still not figure it out? Watch carefully and tell us how she’s cheating! What is taking you so long?!_ ” 

It was the same situation like this in almost every Palace, with every fight and every final boss. It was constantly like that, but why all of a sudden such treatment became unbearable? He should be happy that they trust him and depend on him with their life, and yet - it eats him from inside. He waited for the bet to be placed on SP, and that is when he decided to send Akechi to expose Sae’s cheating.

“What was that about fair and square?! You were totally cheating! You coward! What are you so quiet for? Say something!” Akira heard Futuba’s voice from behind shouting at the struggling Shadow. The Palace’s Ruler almost seemed to be thinking and placing the most risky bets about her next moves.

“SHUT UP!” Sae finally screamed and on an instinct Akira dragged everyone behind himself, watching the Shadow finally take it’s full form.

The sight was quite horrifying, and for a moment he worried wether Makoto will still manage to be able to fight. Seeing someone as close as her sister open up her real colors in front of everyone without shame most likely stabbed her in the heart. Makoto treasured her sister and they all knew it. Akira was right, because the slight doubt crossed the girl’s face once again, as she took a step back while trembling - a rare sight. 

“We’ll get through this.” He reminded her, and tried his best to force on a smile. It was weak, but should have been enough to send the main message, “We will save her no matter what happens tonight.” Makoto gasped at the words, and after a second nodded as she embraced her fighting position with a lot more confidence than before.

_ ‘Just like a demon, whisper what they want and need to hear right into their ear. Tangle their souls with your venomous like sugar spells, Akira.’ _

The boy shook his head in order to brush off the voices in his head and shouted at everyone to be ready to fight. The battle overall lasted for about an hour, and to his genuine surprise it was not as tricky as he expected for it to be. The Shadow was probably one of the easiest opponents so far, but that was because she followed a strategy and rarely changed up her tactics, so it was easy to defend and attack. You just had to know when and how. Closer to the end Sae began throwing much stronger attacks, and focus less and less on her defense. Was it panic? Can Shadows even panic or get scared? Actually, yes, of course they could. Akira always thought that such reckless, hopeless move was so.. so..  stupid , no matter how worked up you get you must stay cautious.

Soon enough the Shadow fell down defeated, defenseless and almost broken. Her massive weapons dropped onto the ground with a loud thud, the ground slightly shook, making everyone’s tense muscles finally drop.

“So I’ve lost..” Sae finally admitted, as her monstrous nature vanished into a thin air - bring back her human-like body. Makoto immediately dropped next to her side, trying to comfort her. Akechi clearly was confused by such situation, but before he could say much comment, Ann managed to shut him up before anything uncalled for was said by a detective.

“I don’t think it’s wrong to bring light to evils which can’t be judged by law.” Makoto spoke, her voice almost cracked in the middle, “That’s all the Phantom Thieves have been trying to do too. But these aggressive investigations? Twisting the truth for your own personal gain?” The brunette shook her head, “Please.. you have to think back to the feelings you had when you first wanted to be a persecutor! Think about your justice, Sis...”

Justice. An interesting concept. What really was justice? It would be always up for the person who answered such question. Justice had a perception of being varied from one point of view into another. Justice... what happened to Akira back then... what happened to Akira in his childhood and school... what happened to Akira and the Phantom Thieves... and what was about to happen.. Stop. Stop thinking. Stop thinking about it.  _ Focus . _

“What caused them to change like this..?” Whispered Haru, her voice was stained with pain and grief, as she had just mentioned her deceased father. It was still a raw wound for her soul, but she was strong and not afraid to bring him up. Suddenly Joker’s eyes widened as her words echoed in his head like a broken record. * _ Was I always like this? Did I... Change? _ *

“That deal that we made was a great experience for me-“ Akira was brought back to reality by Akechi’s voice, listening carefully to the traitor’s words, “-To think that I, a detective, would act alongside the Phantom Thieves..” the chuckle that followed was stained with poison.

“Want to continue that?” Akira joked back at him, making the other Trickster furrow his brows while smiling. They really could have been a great team, if Akechi was not who he really was. A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

“No, and don’t forget to end all of this Phantom Thief business. That was a part of the promise.” The Ace Detective reminded him, to which he nodded in understanding, “Don’t forget.”

As they were about to leave, Futaba suddenly announced increased enemy readings. Her face slightly paled, and Akira gulped down too. Sure, they knew that this was going to happen, but still.. this was _actually_ happening. His eyes stared at the red haired girl’s movements as she kept explaining the plan that they already knew about, and how they should split up while Akira was going to distract them.

Don’t get him wrong, he knew it was the wisest call to send him. He was the strongest one in the team and skilled in every area. Logically, he would manage to get away without a struggle if he did not have the Phantom Thieves to protect. He had to get caught. He had to get arrested. He had to go through all of this again but on a much larger scale. Today he will be arrested not for assault, but for leading the Phantom Thieves. If something goes wrong he will get assassinated by Akechi or end up in prison with an extremely long sentence or be executed. Why his  life had to be such a living  torture with obstacles no matter which path he would choose.

“Run, all of you. I will distract them, and do not look back.” Say what they all want to hear, lie through your teeth about your confidence and lead. That was all his nature, an act. Suffer for their sins for them.

“Hey... be safe, please. Me and Morgana will be waiting for you.” Futaba all of a sudden gripped the boy’s sleeve with a slight shake in her hand. She was nervous, and the other could never blame her. He turned around to face the girl properly and squeezed her hand to reassure her, while smiling.

“You got this, you’re the Leader after all.” Ryuji said, not even trying to properly say goodbye or wish him luck. Akira wanted to hiss, but he silently nodded and began running away.

Joker could clearly hear everyone’s voices through a device on his ear that Futaba gave him, but they did not quite matter. Their chatter was like a background static noise, while all his focus was on getting away.

And getting caught.

Shit.

He knew Palace well enough by now, but getting directions was still helpful. Until he remember again that technically his own friends were leading him towards an ambush from which he will not be able to escape. Why does that sting his mind. Why won’t he just give it a rest? Soon enough he was outside, carefully landing onto his feet and hiding into the shade of the dark. One of his best skills has always been an ability to blent in even with the wall, but it was getting harder to use that while being outside of the Shadow’s Palace.

_ “ Joker !” _

_ “Enemies here?!” _

_ “There are so many!” _

_ “This is trouble!” _

_ “Can you even handle this!?” _

_ “ Joker!” _

_ “Joker can you hear us?!” _

_ “Joker!!!” _

Were their voices even genuine concern or was it all just all a play to trick Akechi further into being deceived? He did not answer to his confidants, instead he focused on running away even though he knew that this was useless. His feet felt like he was running on needles, anxiety and paranoia only possessed his heart the further he went away from the massive crowd of policemen force. His breathing became unstable, he was already exhausted. This was actually terrific. Scary. He felt like he was not mentally prepared enough for this. He was not ready. _Get away. Get away. Get away._

But soon enough, he was finally caught and restrained to the ground. Pinned down like he was not just a criminal - but a monster. The officer seemed to be cautious of even touching him, as he zoomed onto Akira’s face trying to identify him under the mask.

“To think a punk like you could do so much...” The man hissed right into his face, gripping Akira’s hair more harshly as he held back a groan of pain, “You have a teammate to thank for this. You were sold out.”

_ I know. _

The boy was harshly thrown into a car, hitting his back against something hard and making him shift in his place. Everyone around him was on guard, and soon enough connection with Futaba and the rest of his friends got cut off. No matter how hopeless his position was - it was rather amusing to see confused faces of the men when they saw Akira’s clothes transform into a school uniform. They all looked at each other blinking in confusion, as if asking, ‘ _did you just see that?_ ’

How exactly were they even going to explain everything to them? A bright casino in the middle of a city even though it had never been there before and magical outfit transformation? He had to admit that the thought of this was a bit amusing, making him let out a slight chuckle. The worst decision he had made so far, because as soon as a tiny laugh escaped his lips, the man did not hesitate to kick the boy in the guts as an automatic reaction.

“Quiet, punk. You find this funny? We’ll see for how long your ego will last.” The threat did not settle right in his stomach, making him feel nauseous and afraid instantly. He wanted to relax and focus on the fact that all he had to do was talk with the real Sae Nijima who by now could have had a change of heart, then make sure that she shows the phone to Akechi on her way out and escape his assassination through the Metaverse. The plan was easy and tricky to carry out. But he must stay focused and careful with his every word and action that he acts out. All eyes were on him.

Until all of a sudden his vision went black. 

-

Akira was not awake, he realized that because the moment he opened his eyes he seemed to be in some type of victorian styled chamber rather than a police station. The aesthetics of the room were in dark royal shades, while having a slight smell of dust in the air at the same time. The boy even coughed, as he breathed in too much of it, and waved his hands in the air to clear up some space. On the floor was an old, slightly damaged by moths carpet with a beautiful rich design of a famous painting - “The Birth of Venus” by Sandro Botticeli. The colors of the piece were extremely dulled, he noticed. Yusuke would surely appreciate such art, but now was not the time to worry about him.

The room also seemed to have a king sized bed; a small round table with three chairs and scattered cards all over it; a window that was mostly covered by long, velvet curtains and a wooden door at the back of the room that had silver chains all over it.

As Akira took a step forward, it was immediately followed by the loud noise of creaky platform, making him cringe and want to cover his ears. Ignoring the dead silence in the room, he could hear distant glimpses of the rain that came from outside. Just as expected the boy walked up to a window and pushed the curtain open to be greeted by the stormy night.

Strangely, he felt safe here. Calm. Relaxed. Like he could finally take some rest from an outside world and just think about nothing. Maybe reflect on himself, who knows. What a nice lucid dream, he thought, while turning around and approaching the table this time.

His legs felt tired and numb, probably after all the running that he had done in the Palace. A rather strange detail for a dream to have, this chamber almost felt too real. So, he did not feel shy while pulling up a chair to sit down on and throw one leg over another while he focused on his breathing. His eyes travelled to look up at the ceiling, where he could see a small, milky white spider hanging on it’s web like it was looking back at the boy. It was not big in size and radiated calm aura. Akira did not feel disgusted or disturbed by it how he usually would, on the other hand - he actually stretched out his palm while reaching towards it. The arachnid reacted back, and lowered itself while gently positioning it’s small legs on the boy’s skin. Akira then shifted his hand, and moved it towards the table letting the spider crawl onto the wood with cards.

The spider did not do anything for a while, until suddenly it crawled on top of one of the cards next to it - The Fool, it said at the bottom of the card and before he could properly react a sudden lighting struck outside, blinding the whole room with light and excessively loud roar. Akira jumped onto his feet, immediately alarmed and remembering everything. 

_ Palace, Treasure, Fight, Inmate, Devil, Torture, Arrest, Survive-! _

The moment his vision came back, the room was now empty and missing the furniture which was there before - instead, in front of him stood his other self. They did not say anything to each other, just looked like two mirrored reflections as if awaiting for something to happen. 

_ - _

“Guess the drug was too strong..” he heard someone’s deep voice say, but it seemed to be so distant that he could almost ignore it and try to go back to sleep. He was so tired. _So_ , _so_ tired. His head was spinning, while all of his other senses seemed to be dulled.

“Wake him up.”

Suddenly a cold splash of water hit him from head to toe, making him shudder as air in the room made him freeze only more. The last bits of his lucid dream have finally left him, as he tried to force his eyes open and move his hands. His fingers twitched, but didn’t properly listen to him. Now he could tell something sharp at edges and heavy was resting on his wrists, ‘ _handcuffs_?’ 

He was now conscious, Akira realized, as all the pain in his body hit him like a truck. It hurt everywhere - legs, feet, stomach, hands, arms, face, chest, back and more. His vision was still hazy and had black spots in it, meanwhile his mouth felt dry and barely catching any breaths. He seemed to be sitting on a metallic chair, his hands behind it’s back - the position was highly uncomfortable. 

_ ‘What is going on?’ _

He thought, looking around. It felt like a memory was missing, no, it felt like many memories have gone missing. Was he actually asleep back then or was he just.. imagining all of that as he was getting _tortured_ -?

_ ‘Wait. Tortured? He was getting tortured? Huh? What? What was going on? Where was he? Who was here-?!’ _

“No dozing off.” He heard one of the men say, and the tone honestly scared him a bit. There was a door right in front of him, two guards by his left and right side and a surveillance camera that put him right in the focus, “You still don’t get it, do ya?” The guy barked at him, while raising his fist that was about to meet Akira’s jaw. The boy flinched back and expected the punch to sky-rocket his face, but- it never came.

_Blank. Where was he again? What was going on?_

“You want another shot?” Everything around was white, he could not tell where the voice was coming from. All of a sudden he could feel his whole body itch, it was like a sudden attack of stress. He wanted to scratch his skin, it itched so bad- where are my hands? 

“Obstruction of justice, blackmail, defamation, possession of weapons..” Who was this voice talking to? Why Akira could not remember anything? Why did his voice suddenly disappear? “..and manslaughter.” 

_ Blank. Now everything around him was dark. He was standing on his own two feet in the middle of nowhere. His ears were ringing, and suddenly his nose was hit with a harsh iron smell of blood. Who’s blood was it? Suddenly the non-existent ground shook under his legs, making his drop back to consciousness.  _

_ ‘What did they do to me..?’ _

“Sign this. It’s a confession under your name.” He heard the voice again, bringing him back into reality once more. He felt like he was jumping back and forth in time, while everything around would not stop spinning. Like a carousel. He felt sick. Hands. Legs. Head. His limbs were still there, so why a minute ago it felt like they were missing? 

_ ‘They left you all alone.. to atone for their sins. To pay for their crimes. You took the blame for them, just like the Devil that you are. Everyone sees you as evil.. keep repeating the lie until it becomes the truth, isn’t that what they all say?’ _

The voice in his head made him feel dizzy, lightheaded. He wanted to scream out loud for it to shut up, instead he just rose his fist and hit himself on the head with all might. The punch was weak, the power left him due to exhaustion. And yet, he heard someone else in the room gasp and tug him at his stained with blood wrist, trying to calm him down.

“Those bastards..” he heard someone hiss, it was a woman. A familiar woman, someone who he had talked to not a long time ago. Think, think, think. Who was it? Who could it be? As he finally lifted up his head, he could finally tell. Sae Nijima. Right. The plan, he had to convince her to believe him and do something for him.. What was she supposed to do again? There was something important, very important. Think. Sae Nijima had to do something. Important. Right. But.. _What was it that she had to do?_

“Can you hear me? It seems you’ve been through a lot.” Sae kept talking, not waiting for Akira to reply to her, “Almost anything can happen here, and I can’t stop them.” She warned him, while lowering herself so that she could look straight into the boy’s lost eyes that were desperately searching for something in his mind maze.

“What was your objective? Why did you cause such a major incident? I didn’t think it was a prank from the get-go, but I couldn’t assemble a case for persecution. It’s because I couldn’t figure out the method behind it.” Sae continued, her talking seemed to be too fast for Akira to fully process, but the more time passed the more stable he began to feel. His senses started to slowly come back to him, and his head did not feel like a stretched out ballon anymore.

“Of course you couldn’t..” mumbled the boy, while resting both of his hands on the table. Unlike the men from before, Sae did not radiate waves of being a threat. He had to confide with her, he knew that. 

“True.” The woman chuckled, but quickly turned serious, “There is no way I could he convinced by such.. ‘ _world_ ’ just by reading the reports. It seems you’re coherent. When and where did you find out about *that* world? How is it even possible to steal someone else’s heart? Now, tell me your account of everything.” The prosecutor demanded, as she narrowed her eyes at the highschooler. Sae Nijima was probably convinced that she was the predator and he was the prey, but she was _wrong_. 

“Start from the very beginning.”


	3. i’m a villain in my story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira gets interrogated by Sae Nijima, but most of his focus goes to how much his body hurts, and how much it hurts to be so alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The things that Sae says are mostly based off my memory, so they are not 100% accurate! Also, if you still did not check the tags fully, please do. I’ve updated them quite many times as I worked on the plot for this story:) Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter!

The air in the room stilled in pressure, as he sat in front of the woman in dead silence - not ready to start talking first. He could feel his body stretching out like a rubber, and his head felt like a balloon that would pop any second. His temples hurt. His hair and upper part of the body was still wet from the cold water that was splashed onto him before in order to wake him up. The raven boy was freezing, his teeth were stuttering against each other while his eyelids felt too heavy to be left open. He just wanted to sleep and to never wake up. Reality seemed to be too cruel to stay, and maybe he was right to think that his _life_ was a true _torture_.

Akira hated holding an eye contact with the persecutor as he tried to form new sentences in his mouth. There was something deep down in these chocolate eyes that made him want to flinch away. It was not out of fear, how he had first suspected, more like unbearable, suffocating tension. The boy despised the way how she was trying to read him, watching his every move and act, behaving like she was a _Judge_ of his future, which is sadly exactly what she _was_.

Sae was still playing a gamble with his life, but he had to make sure that his bet will guarantee him a Jackpot. His head would not stop aching, and he kept dozing off into a trance from time to time. There was a faint voice at the back of his mind that kept whispering for him to come back into the interrogation room and keep talking. _Stay focused._

Akira’s memory had always been not the brightest. It was a strange thing that he suffered with his whole life. He had a foggy recollection of his past, parents, school, friends.. If he were to be honest the more time had passed, the worse he could remember anything about what happened before his arrival to Tokyo. Even sometimes he found himself being unsure of the events that would occur in Shujin, Mementos, Palaces or with the Phantom Thieves. That’s why he made it a habit to write important tasks or lists of the day in his phone notes.. but since the nightmares started to haunt him after Futaba’s Palace he had erased them all. Now he could not even remember what was it that he used to type there..

_ Phone. _

_ Right. A phone. _

_ He had to make Sae Nijima show the phone.. _

_ Show the phone? To who?  _

_ Phone. _

_ Show a phone. _

_ His phone. _

_ Show it to who?  _

_ And why?  _

_ Show it. _

_ But why? _

_ The phone. He had to make her show it.. to.. _

_ A phone.. _

_ A phone..  _

_ show it.  _

“Kurusu-kun?” He heard a voice bring him back into reality, snapping him out of the mind loop. His expression at first stilled in surprise, but a moment later he became serious and focused again. Why was his head spinning around so damn much? Actually... How did he end up in here in the first place? He could remember two men standing next to him as he was tied down to a metallic chair with his hands cuffed behind his back, but what exactly happened there was a blurr, “This is bad.. What did they drug you with? Do you have a concussion?” _Stop. Asking. So. Many. Questions. You. Are. Being. Too. Loud._

“I’m fine...” he mumbled under his breath, as he tried to straighten his back and gently move his shoulders - he instantly regretted it and hissed from pain that shot all of over his body like a bullet. Prosecutor still looked worried about the raven boy, but suddenly slammed both of her hands onto a desk and shot up onto her legs. Why was she suddenly angry? Did _he_ make her angry? Was she angry with him?

“I know that you are _not_ fine, Kurusu-kun, but I need you to understand that if you won’t hurry up and tell me everything - it will end bad for _you_.” _I know that_ , “So you better start talking. We have limited time.” She was right. He had to hurry up. He had to tell her everything. This almost felt like he was doing a confession. Technically, this was a confession and he was a criminal.. 

A criminal. 

That was how everyone saw him at this point. He was nothing more but an evil, dangerous, uncontrollable, undesirable and annoying nuisance in the eyes of law and social judgement. He hated the fact how everything and everyone would constantly make him feel. He forgot the past, now he wished to just forget everything that brought him any pain right up until this moment. But no, Sae was sitting there - forcing him to remember. Collect back fragmented past. Collide together all the knowledge and present his account on the case.

His throat and mouth felt dry, the tips of his fingers felt cold, still slightly shaking from the strong, toxic drugs in his system. His feet felt like they were pocked with razor blades, scratching again and again, itching more and more with every second. His trousers and a school shirt seemed to be stuck to his body while soaked in some liquid. His knuckles were ripped off their skin, the ugly stream of blood that covered his whole palm by now has dried off into brownish color. His wrists had cuts and bruises from the handcuffs, and his nails had a dark-blue shade coating them. His teeth were still in place, which made him mentally sigh in relief, but the iron taste wondered on his tongue mixed with saliva. The worst pain was radiating off his stomach and thighs, he made sure to try and move them a little bit, to be certain that they are not broken. He was happy that at least they did not feel like they were broken, and he could actually move them. His ribs were in agony, breathing in and out became more challenging with each second that passed. All of this was accompanied with nausea and light-headedness.   
  


“Akira.” Sae whispered again, her hand reached out and smoothly petted the boy’s shoulder. On an instant raven flinched away, but prosecutor was quick to hold him still, “Keep talking to me.” _Right. Yeah, keep talking. He had to keep talking. Stop thinking. Talk. Stop thinking. Talk._

The woman suddenly pulled out a folder out of her bag, getting frustrated with how slow Akira was cooperating. She positioned the papers to her right, and found the document with a calling card. A file that she pushed forward for the boy to look at had Kamoshida’s face on it and his basic medical and personal information. Simple things like name, date of birth, weight, height and more. Next to it lied a very familiar-looking calling card that the Phantom Thieves sent out during their first mission. Akira tried reading some other lines on the paper, but without glasses and with a concussion his vision was even worse than usual. Sae sighed, and decided to initiate the talk first. 

“Back then you just transferred to Shujin, you were not supposed to have any connections to the man shown in here.” She cleared her throat, “Later on, he received a calling card and confessed to everything. He was found eventually guilty in all crimes.. assault, physical abuse and more..” her eyes glanced up at the phantom thief, “How did you do that? What made you target him?” After a slight pause, the boy sighed and decided to finally start his explanation. 

“On that day... it was raining.” He lifted up his palm and rested his chin on it, while still keeping his hands close to himself in a defensive position, “I saw Kamoshida driving a girl in his car. He asked me if I wanted a lift to school, but I declined. I did not want to cause any trouble.” He avoided mentioning Ann and Ryuji on purpose. The images of that day suddenly flashed in his mind in a live-photo effect. 

“What happened next?” She asked, throwing one leg over another.

“I tried to find the way to school by myself.. following the signs and asking for directions from different people. I remember talking to myself on my way there.. and that was when something on my phone buzzed.” Right, the phone. He had to make her show the phone later. He had to. That was his goal. _Convince her. Make her listen._

_ Make her save him.  _

“I looked d-down and a weird app that appeared on my phone few days ago, was now open on a full screen.” Akira groaned, the pain in his stomach made his vision go blank for a moment, “That was when the key words popped up... Kamoshida, King, Castle, Pervert..” He drifted away, shaking his head, “And the moment I arrived towards the school it was.. a Castle instead.” 

He kept talking without stopping much at this point. Words formed themselves and all he had to do was voice them out. Akira was cautious with avoiding saying any names of any of his confidants or just simply people who he had known. Nobody was supposed to be dragged into this mess with him. As the leader, it’s his destiny to fall for them, no matter how much he despised the idea behind that.

He told her about how they infiltrated Kamoshida’s Palace where they found a weird, magical talking cat who explained to them the Metaverse. He explained to her that a Palace was a manifestation of a “distortion”, strong negative and corrupt thoughts that warp the perceptions of people into a hazard for themselves or others. He said that Kamoshida viewed students as his personal slaves and saw himself as a King of the Castle that represented the school, while being corrupted by the thought of Lust. While the other people like Medarame and Kaneshiro viewed even the closest pupils to them as tools to their success. They saw themselves as above the others, their ego was hard to break but they managed. Akira made sure to explain to Sae just how horrible these people were, hoping to get more understanding out of the persecutor. To his luck, her face began to soften more and more as the story went on, making him mentally more relaxed and lower his guard. 

He mentioned the fact that not every Palace Ruler is evil and that not every distorted desire is aimed at hurting others. He brought up Futaba’s Tomb as an example of a self-destructive behavior and how by completing such mission they saved themselves from Medjet and an innocent person’s life from suffering. He told her how he often had to balance out the school life, personal part-time jobs and everything else at the same time. He had told her how he used to personally struggle and question wether what they had been doing for the past months was right or wrong. He told her how they would have meeting sessions and strategy talks before changing the hearts of their targets in Mementos. 

He then told her how much they thought over everything once Okumura had suffered a mental shutdown. He also mentioned a brief description of the difference between stealing the treasure and destroying the shadow, and the way how they realized that there was a serial killer out there who easily managed to frame the Phantom Thieves in their personal faults and crimes. 

Akira then began explaining how they started to look for so-said killer and the true culprit behind the psychotic breakdowns. Sae then interrupted him by saying how in the police there was a massive debate between wether it were the Phantom Thieves or no, but soon enough encouraged Akira to continue with his story trying to interrupt him as less as possible. 

The woman was very smart, he noted to himself. She began to piece together the puzzles by herself and slowly come to her own conclusions in this case. The persecutor almost seemed to be stepping on his tail each time she would accuse him of having his own ways of getting information, medicine, roots in the police and media, etc. Every time she demanded for him to reveal their identity, but Akira would shake his head, dismissing her request - telling her that he won’t say anything unnecessary and that she was wasting their limited time. 

The moment his story finally approached a matter of Sae’s Palace, he began to remember glimpses of small talks between the other _Phantom Thieves. Traitor. Right. Someone sold him out. One of them._ Akira would stop in between some sentences and hold his head as the ringing in his ears would become insanely loud. At one point his nose began bleeding again, to which Sae pulled out a soft tissue giving it to the boy to stop the overwhelming stream of blood. 

Sae glared at him, with mixed emotions on her face. She stood up and approached him, understanding that his story had almost come to an end, “Let’s discuss one more person - Goro Akechi. There are reports that say that he was acting alongside the Phantom Thieves as well. Might he be a part of your team too?” 

Something about that name did not sit right with him, like he was forgetting something extremely important and Akechi was the key part. 

“No.” He quickly answered in a cold tone, looking into the distance.

“So Goro Akechi was not one of you.. very well.” She deeply sighed, it almost sounded like she was about to give up, “..so be it. You clearly have no intention of bargaining with me.” Akira stayed quiet, not even knowing what to say, “Even now you’re still acting like a hero of justice.” It felt like she was mocking him, even though he knew she wasn’t.

“Your teammates have sacrificed you in order to escape-“ he hissed, looking onto the ground as his stomach flipped at the words, because she was right, “-yet you wish to defend their honor? Why won’t you talk about them?!”

_ Because I am meant to suffer. _

“Because it’s wrong.” He mumbled, his fingers reaching up to his neck and started to scratch as a pile of nerves would not let him breathe. Soon he felt composed again, even more pain seized in his skill making him forget the ugly emotions possessing his mind.

“ _Ha_!” She laughed, rolling her eyes, “Don’t be ridiculous! You’re the one that made the wrong choices!”

“You call this justice?” He asked, his voice came out weaker at the end. All of this was unfair. The fact that this was happening to him was unfair. Unjust.

“Justice..?” Sae drifted away into her thought, “then tell me! What is this justice that you speak of?” She asked, her tone sounded desperate.

“Saving others.” That was what the Phantom Thieves were about. They only ever wanted to spread the good deed, but he will be always viewed as a _demon_. No matter how much good he would do.

“Saving others?” Persecutor repeated after him, “What an awfully simple response.” She scoffed, sounding disappointed. She must have expected something better than this, “You continue to stay firm-“ she breathed out and put the lock of her hair behind her ear, “-are you implying that we do not have evidence?” _You really don’t_ , “You are right, we do not. What does not help is that your story sounds like a fairytale! We need to learn the truth!” She suddenly looked away, “Huh.. The truth. I don’t even know what’s right anymore and it’s all because of your bizarre account!”

“You still doubt me?” _If she won’t believe me, I will end up dead. I don’t know why, but I know it._

“After all this, you’re still-“ the walls in the room suddenly zoomed in on him, making him feel like the place was too small for him to fit in, “Are you listening? The drug effect should start to wear off by now, so I won’t be deceived by such a poor act.”

That was when realization hit him like a truck, his eyes widened in shock and the adrenaline rush made his heartbeat rise to the point that he could feel it in his throat - pumping blood around his whole body in panic and fear. 

_ Akechi.  _

_ Right! _

_ Akechi was coming to get him!  _

“Hey. Can you hear me?” Again. Her voice again. This was starting to get irritating. But.. He had to make her understand. His life.. Was in danger, “But unfortunately my time has ran out-“ Wait! No, I need to say something! “-although I find your story interesting, I won’t be able to speak with you any longer.” _You don’t have to, you just have to understand._

“Don’t you want to win?” He asked, and the woman looked up at him with a gasp. For a moment she swore that the boy’s eyes shined with golden - just in that one second, “What are you getting at?” She hummed, “That’s right, no matter the result in this case I won’t be getting any credit. I even had to call in for a huge favor just to conduct this interrogation. Anyway, we’re done talking here. Goodbye.”

“Is this what you planned?” He asked, thinking back to the memories that he did manage to get back.

“Planned? Why are you saying such odd things? Anyhow. There is one last thing that I want to ask you. That is something that has been bothering me for a while now. Recently I was removed from my post as head of this investigation and was told to remain on standby. A short while later I received a word that you were caught in the act.. within some bizarre phenomenon. But that was all that I was told..” Akira looked her in the eyes with hope, “You were told that someone sold you out, right? If that’s true, who could it have been? Don’t you have any ideas?”

“I might.” Akira whispered, his face suddenly paling. He felt sick again.

“If you know something then tell me! I won’t allow things to end like this!” Sae hit her fist against the table, determination firing up right in her eyes.

“The phone..”

“You mean, this?” Persecutor looked to the devise that was lying on the table, “I’ve been told that the lock on this is quite complicated, but it is only a matter of time until it will be open. What’s so important in this smartphone? Are you going to unlock it and show me the data?” The silence filled up the room again, as the boy’s attention focused on his pulsing pain in the leg, “Hey! What are you getting at?! What about this smartphone?!” Sae was throwing questions one after another, until he finally said.

“Show it to the true culprit.” The poisonous voice of a two-faced snake popped into his mind.

“Huh?! Who would that be? Who am I supposed to show it to?!”

“Not a teammate.”

“My god..” The sudden widening eyes and a gasp made it all clear, “You’re referring to him.. aren’t you?” She asked, carefully. Akira nodded, praying that their plan was going to work out in the end, “What are you plotting, I can’t even begin to fathom it!” The sudden knock on the door made them both look up, “But it appears that it is my time to go.. the time is up. This will be my last involvement in this case.” She flashed him a quick, gentle smile, “Very well, I listened to your whole story so might as well play along until the very end.”

The woman stood up with hesitance waving around her, but as she looked over at the boy she tried to give him a reassuring look while picking up the phone and going towards the door, not saying anything as she finally left with the last click of her heels against the floor.

And that was the moment when the drug and pain hit him all over again, the room changing in front of his eyes. The walls went from black to white, from green to red to purple. Overall he felt confused, as he shut his eyes with his hands and rubbed them. The next time he looked around everything appeared to be normal, but it only took a minute for the unconsciousness to win over - making him fall into a mist of darkness, while his face harshly hit against the table with a loud thud.

-

Akira was back in the victorian chamber. He could immediately tell that it was a dream based on how bizarre the setting was, but as he stared down at his hands he found it amusing that he was wearing Joker’s outfit. The boy knew that he should not feel so safe while being asleep - since his body in real life was in danger, but he could not help it. Akira was not even going to try and wake himself up, silently hoping that the time will stop for him just this once. The old, rusty atmosphere felt comforting as he let himself this time fall flat onto a bed in the room that was covered with the milky blanket made out of wool.

“You keep coming back.” He heard a voice, this made him sit up straight. Again, another him. Now this did not feel like a safe place anymore, but slowly began turning into another countless nightmare.

“I don’t know why.” Akira answered, while biting onto his lower lip in frustration that was piling up. Was peace too much to ask for? It was an honest reply, he genuinely had no idea what this room was and why he kept seeing himself like that. Creepy.

“Because you desire to forget.” Answered the other, while bringing up the chair that was covered in gold and taking a seat. Their clothes were similar, the raven noticed, but still rather different - Akira had no time to properly take a look as suddenly other him continued, “It’s bad for you to be here.”

“Why?” Akira asked, curiosity dancing in his eyes.

“Why are you asking when you don’t want to know?” The other chuckled, “Well, time for you to wake up.” He could not even protest, as he was forced out of there. Everything around him began to slowly fall apart. His hands clutched at anything that it could find, trying to stay in his safe place. Nails digging deep into a fabric that was gradually fading away without any mercy. Coming back to reality meant that the pain was going to come back, the torture and responsibilities were going to come back-

-

Akira’s eyes flattered open. He could not feel much at first nor understand what was going on. He was laying down on something soft, not the cold floor how it was before. The ground was slightly shaking and a distant music was playing not far from him. He was in the car, he realized eventually. He looked up onto the driver’s seat to see a familiar looking long dark grey hair. _Does that mean the plan worked? Was he safe now? Where were they driving?_

Suddenly the car took a sudden turn, making him shift to the side and let out a groan as the pressure fell onto his sore wounds. Soon enough the car seemed to get parked somewhere, as Sae began shuffling around in her bag. Akira lazily looked out of the window and his eyes watered at the familiar looking place. 

Leblanc. 

He was home.

The door to which his head was right next to opened, revealing a persecutor with a concerned face expression. The air from outside was fresh and smelled like rain, breathing it in felt like all the suffocation from before was now gone - until the sharp stabbing pain in his ribs reminded him about the state that he was in.

“Can you try and stand up for me?” She asked carefully, while gently sneaking her hand around his fragile body helping him up onto his drained feet. His legs were wobbly and the ground under him felt like it was made out of cotton and would constantly fall under him. With time he began to adjust and feel more stable, as now he could slowly, with small steps, walk by himself behind Sae. His form seemed to be so small and vulnerable behind her, seeking shelter and safety. A single look made her feel guilty, but she swallowed that down and came up to the door towards Leblanc. The sign to the entrance was flipped to “ **CLOSED** ”, but that did not stop the persecutor from aggressively banging her fists against the wood.

“Sojiro! Open this door!” She said in a louder tone, the more time had passed the more zoned out Akira began to feel. For a moment he even lost his balance, but regained it back instantly by taking a step forward.

“Jesus..” they both heard an annoyed groan, as the man appeared in front of them and unlocked the door, “What are you even doing here?” Sojiro narrowed his eyes, but softened seeing the raven behind her.

“Kid!” He gasped, making his way past Sae and gripping the boy’s shoulders as if checking wether what he was seeing was real. Akira loudly hissed in pain, but bit down onto his lip to hold it all in, “A-Argh, sorry, kid.” Sojiro immediately apologized letting him go, and leading him inside as the woman followed behind the two of them quietly.

The boy’s body flopped onto one of the seats in a cafe, looking around with hope. Hoping that this was not a dream, because if it was then it would just be too cruel. He was still not fully able to process that everything worked out fine, that he made it out alive. That he was home.

“T-the others-“ he whispered, to which Sae quickly picked up his thought and answered.

“They are all safe. None of them got caught.” She reassured him, while looking down. The owner of the caffe scoffed in disbelief.

“You still worry about others, kid, when you look like shit? Seriously, how could they even do this to you..” He asked, while going towards the small bathroom next to the stairs that led towards the attic and came back with a first aid kit and some pills in his hand. Seeing the bright yellow-red capsules, made Akira have a sudden flashback of the needles that were scattered all over the floor in the interrogation room. Unpleasant memory felt like a hit on his head, as he suddenly had to hold his face with both hands in order to stay in his place and not lunge forward.

“Sojiro.. I wouldn’t recommend using medicine.” Sae quickly spoke up, to which the man furrowed his eyebrows and raised one in question.

“Why not?” He asked, voice sounding lower and raspier than usual.

“They..” The woman at first did not want to say it, but eventually spoke up, “They drugged him with many shots and I think he has a concussion. They probably had an order to make him talk no matter what method they had to use, even though I question wether their actions could ever be considered legal-“ she suddenly got cut off by the man shouting at her. Well, not quite shouting, but the volume of his voice went up drastically. 

_ “He is a minor, Nijima! A kid!”  _

“I know! But- I couldn’t have stopped them even if I wanted to.” She defended herself, but there was no need since her words did not even register in the man’s head. Most of his attention was spanning around a teenager who looked like a walking corpse.

“I knew that the government was corrupt, but for it to reach this level..” Sojiro sighed, “To think that you would run away from the abuse-“ _What? No, forget he said that._ “-and to end up sittin’ here lookin’ like you were run over by a truck.” His guarding was not the best with words, Akira was aware of that, but the little commentary made him want to chuckle. He stopped himself from doing that being completely aware of how much pain a laugh will cost him.

“Well.. My job here is done.” The persecutor spoke up again, “Kurusu-kun, thank you for telling me your account on everything that you know. We will talk again soon for sure.” She then turned away from the raven boy and whispered to Sojiro, “Please take care of him.” 

“Of course.” The man replied, not even thinking over his answer. With a slight bow of her head, the woman walked up to the door and took her leave, “Does it hurt a lot, kid?” He asked, carefully approaching Akira; trying not to startle half-conscious boy.

“N-no..” He got as an answer, making him sigh. Soon enough he found himself helping the boy stand up, throwing Akira’s right hand over his shoulders and picking up the first aid kit with himself at the same time. He led both of them towards the stairs. It took them some time, around a few minutes to finally reach Akira’s room and when they did they both felt more at ease.

Akira felt overwhelmed with emotions as his eyes darted from one thing to another that could be seen around the attic. He remember the way how he was clutching at his dream, too afraid to wake up since the victorian chamber felt like a safe place where he could finally hide, but the moment he set a foot to his room the overwhelming nostalgia and home sickness wrapped up him a lot more. Every little detail in here meant so much to him. The plates of Ramen that he got with Ryuji when they went out together to eat some delicious lunch, the plushies that him and Ann had won when they were spending fun playing around, the Phantom Thieves poster that hang proudly on the wall - adding a new view to the whole room.

Just seeing all of this made him finally realize the reason why he was so desperate to never sold them out during an interrogation, to keep them at the safest place and position possible, to keep them as away as possible.. To sacrifice even himself if needed. Seeing all of this also made him realize why he spent so much time hurting over the smallest things that they would do or say to him - which were normal, but his mind would twist everything against him. That was because they meant so much to him, meanwhile they acted like he did not mean as much to them. The worst part of that was not perhaps the feeling behind it all; the distorted delusion.. but the fact that this felt familiar. Akira would just rather to forget. To ignore. To stay ignorant.

_ As long as they need him they won’t leave. As long as they need him they won’t hurt him. As long as they need him- _

“Akira.” 

The raven looked up. He was already sitting on his bed, Sojiro next to him while saying something. His lips were moving, but the sound was not reaching his ears properly. After a few seconds he could hear again.

“Kid, can you hear me? Where does it hurt?” The man looked extremely concerned, no matter how much he tried to mask it, it was still visible in his eyes. Not feeling like being stubborn, the boy whispered an answer back.

“H-hands..” he said, “ribs.. legs... head.. my head very hurts..” his eyes looked empty, and where looking into nothing. He could pass out any minute, “ _where am I?_ ”

“You’re home, kid.” Sojiro reminded him, to which the other nodded.

“Where are the others..? Morgana.. Futaba..” Akira was scanning the room in searches for a familiar black and white fluff ball, that he only now noticed was nowhere to be seen.

“Kid, don’t think about it right now. Everyone is okay, but you’re not. Let’s patch you up. I don’t have a medical degree, but tomorrow I will call over that Doc to who you always go to, is that okay?” He got a weak nod as an answer, “Good.”

“Takemi?” Suddenly Akira asked again, the man sighed. What kind of drugs they had to give a child? This was just a teenager who already had enough trauma. This was unforgivable.

“Yes, Takemi. She will come tomorrow and look over your wounds properly.” Akira just now noticed that the man was already bandaging up his wrists, and slowly moved towards his ankles.

For some time they stayed in silence, since there was nothing to say. Whenever Sojiro wound touch the wounds, raven would jerk away or flinch - which stabbed into the old man’s heart. He personally felt like a failure of a guardian. He could not save Futaba without Akira’s help, and now here was Akira in a state of a zombie.

“I’m done here, kid. Change your clothes and go to sleep, alright?” He suggested as he stood up onto his legs while brushing off the dust from his clothes.

“What i-if they c-come back?” Akira frowned, looking paranoid, “I-I don’t w-want to be alone.. _again_.” At that Sojiro gently put his hand onto the boy’s head, slightly ruffling his hair.

“Trust me, this time you won’t be. Your friends are safe and you’re safe too, kid. So, go to sleep.” 

And he decided that he will, because there was simply no more power in him to fight or struggle any longer. 


	4. the pretty bloodlust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some hardest nights of his life pass, it sinks into Akira’s mind that he will always be a hostage to his ugly addiction. He manages to contact his friends again, and out of all of them Futaba seems to be the only one to truly understand the pain caused from within.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: this chapter will contain the scene of self-harm and vomiting! I will put the: [*] at the beginning of the paragraphs that contain such description. 
> 
> This chapter was a bit of a rush, and I hope that I am not tiring you with endless descriptions haha and that i am not going too fast with the plot ;-;  
> But yeah, Futaba and Morgana are going to play a very special role in the future. I thought at first about making Futaba X Akira ship, but the romance seems to be not fitting for this story at the moment. I would much rather put a focus on the mental fight that Akira will have to go through, and how Futaba and Morgana will help him get through this. Yeah. So, I hope you will like this chapter!!

Akira was not sure about what was happening, but everything around him was _freezing_. His whole body was uncontrollably shaking, unable to find peace or position to lie in so that the pain would stop tormenting him. There was a massive pressure all over his head, making it hard for him to stay asleep and almost forcing him to wake up. The boy took a sharp breath in, finally opening his eyes.

Everything around him was dark, the only source of light was coming from his window above his bed - the faint, dark yellow flashes from shops and cars lighted up the gloomy attic. He twisted in his place again, feeling soreness in his throat increase, immediately turning into a desperate cough. He kept coughing and coughing, which hurt his ribs, but he could not stop. With each cough a sweat on his forehead began to pile up, his eyes watered with tears and his ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton pads. All the sounds around him were muffed into the distance. He tried to scratch the inside of his ears, but soon enough stopped as if caused his headache to increase.

[*] Suddenly he felt something form in his gut, a horrific taste of acid filled up his senses and it had burned his whole throat in an instant. His hand immediately flew over to his mouth and nose, trying to cover the vomit from coming out. _Thank God_ that Sojiro decided to leave a basket by his side, because soon enough the boy was holding himself by it’s edges - falling down onto the hard floor with his knees and emptying his stomach from everything into the bucket. His tongue, his eyes, his mouth - everything burned. The smell was so horrible around him that he could throw up again just from that.

The blanket that was shielding him from the cold slowly slipped off his shoulders making Akira freeze in his place. He moved away from the basket, and wiped his mouth with a sleeve - he could not find any tissues around - and reached towards the fabric once again. Trying to find some comfort like a little child while coating it round himself. Akira tried to feel as small as possible, curling his legs up to his chest and wrapping his hands around them. He pressed his dizzy head to his knees, while still lying on the floor, which did not matter to him at the moment. He wanted to feel comfort. Shelter. Safe place.

Akira wanted to end up in a small room with no windows or doors, but at the same time he wanted to be somewhere in the open but completely alone. He wanted to be sure that nobody was out there to get him or hurt him again, because the probability of him handling another confrontation like that was extremely low.

His attention was brought back to his stomach that let out a groan, not because of hunger but due to something else. Akira had no power to properly think about anything. _Thirsty_. He was extremely thirsty, his throat was so dry that it could start peeling off within his windpipe if he would not get something to drink. His eyes felt no better, he had no idea that he was even crying until he slowly blinked and felt a salty taste on his lower lip slide down his chin. Maybe it weren’t tears, but his sweat, he had no idea. His eyeballs on the other hand felt like they were made out of plastic, and would constantly scratch against the walls inside his skull - sending irritation all over his face, making him scrunch his nose because of how uncomfortable everything felt. His body felt like not his own ; like it was _rejecting_ him.

He had no idea when exactly another torture like this had ended, but soon enough the dreamland stole him away once again. This time he was not dreaming of anything, it was all black and white - nothing more. He was happy to rest, just for a bit. 

-

“Doc, what’s with him..?” He could hear Sojiro’s voice somewhere at the back of his mind, Akira thought at first that he must be sleeping - but it felt more like he was stuck in between dream and reality. _Shut up. Leave me alone. No, don’t leave me alone. Leave. Don’t._

“Well, a lot of things. First, as you might know by now he has bruises and cuts all over his body. I made sure that none of them would get an infection. Then, the drugs in his system.. there were numerous ones and I am shocked that he did not show any signs of overdose. He is probably having a fewer because his body is trying to fight them off. He’s a strong bean, thanks to my medical trials his body has slightly adapted to harsh treatment from chemicals.”

“What else?” The man asked, with slight hesitation wether he even wanted to know or no. Akira by himself was having a hard time understanding everything what Takemi was talking about, but at least he tried.

“He clearly has a concussion. Concussion has many symptoms, ranging from obsessive coughing to vomiting.” That explained the reason why he threw up earlier. The moment that he remember that, raven shifted in his place and felt mattress under him. He was back in his bed.

“What about his ribs? He was telling me earlier that they were hurting a lot..” _They are still hurting a lot_ , but the pain was not as distracting at this point. Almost as if Akira got used to it by now.

“That’s the bad news. I am pretty sure that some of his ribs are either broken or cracked, but I observed him and I do not see any need for surgical involvement. He just has to make sure to try and breathe deeply, so that he won’t catch pneumonia, and to stay in bed. Sleeping will help his go through fewer, help with his concussion and will prevent him from moving too much.”

“Jesus, kid..“ Sojiro groaned, and Akira felt guilt creep onto his mind. He was causing the other man so much trouble and worry, everything was simply unfair.

“Yeah, I’ve seen my guinea pig in some bad shapes even before that, but never this messed up. It’s good that his immune system is strong, but not every trauma can be healed with that. You might later on need to visit a Psychaitrist.” _No_ , Akira thought, _I won’t need that, I am completely fine like this._

“I already have a number of his old one.. Anyway, is there any medicine at all that he can take? Maybe something from pain or to prevent him from vomiting the food and water?”

“Here.” The boy heard shuffling and then the sound of a box with pills inside being given to Sojiro, who most likely had opened up his glasses to take a closer look.

“What is this?”

“It’s self-made, but I already tested it out on him. As you can see it worked - he is not shuddering in pain anymore.”

“Thanks, Doc. I really owe you one.”

“About vomiting, I would suggest a simple diet so that his stomach can come back to digesting everything properly, and of course make sure he drinks a lot of water. Dehydration is the last thing that he needs.”

“Got it.”

“Oh, and.. The painkillers are not extra strong, but that is the only thing that I can provide to him at the moment. You can use an ice pack on his ribs from time to time if you must. The cold will numb the pain.”

“Okay. Thanks, Takemi-san.”

“No, put that away. There is no need to pay me for this. He helped me in so many ways, and saved an innocent life of one of my patients. I could never accept money if it meant to treat him in such state. I am repaying a favor the only way I can.”

“O-oh, okay. Well then, I won’t wake him up.” Akira could hear the footsteps of both adults moving further away, and soon enough the silence was back - letting his come back to his rest. 

-

He found himself standing in the cell in a familiar to him Velvet Room. Akira just like always was dressed in a dirty, slightly torn prisoner’s uniform. On his leg rested a cuff that was connected by a massive, copper chain towards the old wall. There was a small seat and a toilet with a sink on his left side. Now that he thought about it, he had never washed his hands in this place before. _What was even the point of having the bathroom in here anyway?_ He decided eventually not to think about it, and instead walked up to the metal bars and looked Igor straight in the eyes.

The Master of the Velvet Room sat proud in his royal-looking chair, in a similar position as his other self from the nightmares. Soon enough to his both sides appeared two faces of the Wardens - one on the right and one on the left. He flinched back as Caroline smashed a bat against the cell, looking angry just how always.

“Our Master wishes to speak with you, Inmate!” She said in a threatening voice, Justine - her twin - soon picked it up.

“It has been a long time, Inmate, since we have spoken to you at last.” Justine’s voice was a lot more calmer and collected than her sister’s. Akira was sure that he had never even seen her getting mad or frustrated over anything, _oh, the true cold-blooded nature._

“My, my, Trickster. It seems you have stumbled upon a downfall.” Igor finally spoke, his deep tone filled up the whole room and echoed slightly around the place, Akira decided not to say anything, “Do you perhaps know why I have summoned you here for another reunion?” The long-nosed man asked, while fixing up his white gloves.

“I don’t think so..” the raven was honestly slightly confused about the whole situation.

“How dare you not know, Inmate?!” Caroline scoffed once again, her eyebrows furrowing and she was getting ready to hit the bars again - but got stopped by Igor.

“ _Silence_.” The man said, both girls immediately faced their Master and obediently straightened their backs, “I’ve come here to discuss with you two things.” The man lifted up both of his fingers, “First,” he put one finger down, “I congratulate you on stealing another heart and distortion out of it. It was a challenging deed, but you and your confidants have managed it without struggles. I have high expectations of you.” Akira felt something warm spread in his chest at the praise, almost feeling proud or simply seen for his hard work. His efforts can truly be judges only in this place - in the Velvet Room, because only these three know about what is truly going on with him.

“ _The second thing that I wished to discuss with you are the Phantom Thieves of Heart. Very soon the Executioners will discover the distortion within, and thus bring you agony. I am looking forward to seeing how you’ll be able to forgive the immaturity and betrayal._ ” Igor chuckled, while throwing one leg over another. Akira tilted his head to the side; confused, not understanding what the other was talking about.

“What are you implying..?” The boy carefully asked, to which Igor did not answer anything as suddenly the siren in the room went out - turning the relaxing blue lights of the room into bright coral flashes.

“The time is up!” Caroline said, stepping in front of Akira.

“Go back to your world of dreams..” Justine added, as darkness took over his vision. This was getting old. 

-

Waking up again was not pleasant, he realized. He was all alone in the room, and the cafe was most likely closed at the moment. It was extremely early in the morning; he could tell just by seeing how low the sun was in the sky, and the faint shadows of the moon with the stars were still there. _He felt empty_ , more than anything. Memories were shifting back and forth in his head, and all that Akira really wanted to do is - _forget_.

_There was a way to forget_ , he thought, as he opened the secret hiding spot under his bed and pulled out a familiar looking razor blade. It was cold to his touch, but warm to his heart. Some people used all kinds of methods to forget - drugs, alcohol, sex or cigarettes. For Akira it was this little shining sharp piece of metal that was few centimeters long, too small to even cover his whole palm.

He must look pathetic while gripping the blade after serving as a punching bag for the bad cops, but this was different. A completely different sensation - when you want it, when you are longing for it and finally get it versus when you are forced to take it. Akira preferred the first option a lot more, of course, which was obvious seeing the sheer amount of white and reddish lines all over his feet, ankles, hips and thighs.

He had no idea when exactly this habit has started, but it was way before he moved to Tokyo. Before he used to do that as a distraction or the way of forgetting; pushing away the ugly emotions and feelings of hurt. Later on, it grew into an addiction and a way to control himself whenever he felt like he was failing at some aspects of his life. He was a hostage to this addiction, unable to escape. A prisoner. Whenever he tried to go clean it would maximum last for a week, and eventually ghost itself back into his life just like a dark curse.

[*] Soon the sharp edge of the razor made a contact with his ankle, slicing the skin open in an instant. At first it did not bleed, which made Akira irritated and cut himself once again, deeper to get a better result. To satisfy this weird bloodlust that was boiling from within. From two thin red lines, it transformed into six when the feeling had finally hit him with a weird tingly sensation at the back of the skull; he watched the droplets of blood pilling up on his wounds and suddenly pop into a bloodstream.

[*] Usually, he would need more of that, but today it felt like this much was enough - as euphoric furore left him, and was soon replaced with a burning affliction. He tried stopping the bleeding with his palm, pressing down harder than before, hoping for it to clot fast without causing undesired trouble. He thought that it had stopped so he pulled away; only for more blood to leak down his leg onto the clean, white bed sheets immediately making him go into panic of what Sojiro was going to say if he would see it.

[*] Akira jumped up onto his feet, immediately rushing towards the bathroom downstairs of Leblanc while panting from pain that run down his spine. There was a small trail of blood behind him, but he decided to clean it up later and first take care of the excessive bleeding. The moment he locked himself in, Akira ripped off the toilet paper and pressed it against his self-damaged ankle. This time he was not pulling away until he was sure that the cut closed itself. Moments have passed, and all that he could think about was how much of a _low-life_ he really was, clutching himself desperately like a miserable piece of _trash_. Somewhere deep down he hoped to bleed to _death_ , which was of course impossible with such little harm.

_ ‘You are indeed the lowest of the low. An evil, who deserves everything that comes it’s way. You’re a demon.’  _

[*] He knew that, and mentally agreed with the voice inside his head as he finally began pulling away the toilet paper from his cuts. It sting a little bit, because some of the blood dried out by now and got stuck to the tissue - Akira was happy that it did not renew the bleeding and threw the paper into the toilet, flushing away his embarrassment.

After washing his face in the sink and soaking his hands under an ice-cold water, trying to numb the pain; he walked back up the stairs and almost passed out once his body hit the mattress under his weight. 

-

Akira woke up again, but this time he was not feeling as sick anymore. The room around him was a blur, he noticed and automatically reached towards his glasses on a nightstand only to pat an empty space. _Right, they broke when he was at the police station._ The window in his room was open, letting in the fresh air together with ranges of sounds. He could hear some chattering of the neighbors about sales in the bookstore on the Central Street, he could hear cars driving around the roads under Leblanc, he could hear the early morning’s singing of the birds and barking of the dogs.

It seemed that it has been forever since Akira finally did not feel like he was freezing to death; actually, it was another way around. He genuinely felt soft and safe for once. There were two blankets on top of him now that he noticed and a still wet towel on his forehead, that he gently picked up and put away. The sun was shining through the curtains, kindly warming him up. The boy’s eyes drifted onto the massive amount of pills that were lying on his working desk together with some medicine and creams.

He looked up onto his wrists that had fresh bandages on them, same as his thighs and ankles. His ribs still hurt but not as much, meanwhile his head was still foggy but a lot more stable. The boy finally tried to sit up and look either for his phone or Morgana. It worried him that he still has not seen the cat, thinking that maybe the other was in _danger-_

“Lie down, brat.” He looked up to see Sojiro walking up to him with a frown on his face, “You still gotta be in bed. I called your school and said that you left to visit your hometown, so there is nothing for you to worry about.” The man quickly explained. _Right, the school,_ Akira almost forgot about that.

“How long.. Have I been.. Asleep?” His eyes immediately watered as irritation spread all over his throat making it itch - triggering a loud cough to escape from his mouth. Sojiro just sighed, and pushed Akira in his shoulders to make him lie back down.

“Around 4 days. I mean, you kept waking up and falling back asleep, but you were having a fewer so I don’t think you will remember much.” His guardian explained, while holding up the phone that Akira recognized as his own. On an instinct his hand jerked towards it, which Sojiro willingly gave into, “I did not give it you earlier because I did not want you to worry about useless things. Do not google up anything that will upset you, though. It’s for your own good.” Akira nodded as he unlocked the phone to see hundreds of texts from his friends and the others, “You hungry? I’ll bring you some soup.” 

-

** ANN  **

**Ann** : akira?! how are u?! are u safe?

**Ann** : i tried asking futaba but she wont tell me anything!!

**Ann** : please tell me that u are alright

**Ann** : akira?

**Ann** : morgana told me that u r sick and that even he is not allowed to see u

**Ann** : akira please text me once u can 

**Akira** : hi. 

**Ann** : omg! 

**Akira** : dw i am all good 

**Ann** : that’s amazing news!

**Ann** : how is ur head? Does anything hurt? 

**Akira** : its fine, nothing hurts :) 

**Ann** : i am so happy to know that! 

_ Ann was a kind soul, she really was. It was not fake or a play-pretend with her friends. The raven wondered wether the western girl was always like that or softened after her best friend has tried committing suicide. Not that it was any of his business, but you could say that he was simply curious to find out what she was like before she had become the part of the Phantom Thieves.  _

** RYUJI  **

**Ryuji** : aye man how u holdin up

**Ryuji** : if u need anythin drop a text

**Ryuji** : dude r u dead or smth

**Ryuji** : damm i heard u were roughed up

**Ryuji** : im sorry man

**Ryuji** : at least akechi didnt kill u

**Akira** : hi

**Akira** : im all good dw 

**Ryuji** : ofc u r! I knew it! 

**Akira** : ;) 

_ Ryuji was not the smartest nor sentimental pupil out there, but with people him there was a saying about having a power was more than enough. The delinquent had a strong sense of justice and fighting against the ones who opposed his personal opinion. But - the blond boy was the type to be easily manipulated if you would use the right words. So Akira had to always made sure to keep an eye on Ryuji and make him stay away from bad influences. He almost sometimes felt like a parent to the other or a guarding, not that he had to know about that.  _

** HARU  **

**Haru** : Please contact me the moment that you can. I am extremely worried about you and want to make sure that you are alright, if there is anything that I can do to help, then please call me.

**Haru** : Mona-chan told me that you are extremely sick, I will drop by some treats at Leblanc. I am so sorry, Akira.

**Haru** : Please get better. 

**Akira** : dont worry so much about me, i am alright haru. Still living and breathing haha

**Haru** : oh, Akira! I am glad to know that, I’ll try to visit you once my business meetings are over. 

**Akira** : of course, take care of that first!

**Akira** : its not like I will vanish or something

**Haru** : you’re always so understanding! 

_ Akira had always felt bad for Haru, because a part of him blamed himself in her father’s death. He had no idea how such a fragile girl could be so impossibly strong and even had the time to worry about others but herself. He was jealous of that, but at the same time he knew that she was not actually worried about him. Haru most likely wanted to avenge her father, and in order to do that - she needed his help. He did not mind that though, since that would be too selfish.  _

** YUSUKE **

**Yusuke** : Akira text all of us the moment that you are home safely.

**Yusuke** : I have no doubt that Makoto’s plan is going to work, but confirmation is never bad. 

**Akira** : hi yusuke, and im alright. 

**Yusuke** : amazing to hear.

**Yusuke** : that reminds me.. i have recently created a new piece, would you be so kind to share your opinion with me? 

**Akira** : sure 

_ Yusuke then sent him a photo of a beautiful painting. It was a perfect square in the middle of a canvas. The background was a galaxy but filled in with turquoise and maroon shades, while having a thousands of small white dots - like it was a dusty web sprayed all over the place. The cube itself had dark grey color, and had something like rich, bloody veins covering it. The art work reminded him partially of Mementos.  _

**Akira** : its gorgeous, yusuke. im amazed at ur talent 

**Yusuke** : you really think so? 

**Akira** : yes, i have never seen anyone more gifted than u, im being honest 

**Yusuke** : your praise is highly appreciated, Leader.  
  


** MAKOTO  **

**Makoto** : Sis told me everything... Gosh, I am so sorry, Akira!

**Makoto** : I put you in great danger, this is all my fault! I didn’t even think about the fact that they could do such a thing to you!

**Makoto** : I am so, so sorry.. 

**Akira** : its not your fault, makoto. Dont beat urself over it

**Akira** : go get some rest, you need it 

**Makoto** : Akira...

**Akira** : Makoto, i am serious. The best way you can help me is keep yourself and the others on your highest possible, okay? :D 

**Makoto** : if you say so.. Akira-kun. 

_ He would never want Makoto to blame herself in something that she had no idea would happen. The girl was not the one who hurt him, none of them had any idea about what would go down. If anything, Ryuji was right, Akira should be thankful for the fact that his head did not end up being pierced with a bullet from Akechi’s pistol. Suffering and paying a price for other people’s sins was always his role in life, at least a major part of it, so it could never be Makoto’s fault. Only his own. _

** FUTABA  **

**Futaba** : you’re an idiot! U knew how dangerous this was and still

**Futaba** : i am coming over the moment u r awake u got it?!

**Futaba** : stop playing some hero u little dummy 

**Futaba** : i heard sojiro

**Futaba** : u r awake!!!

**Futaba** : im running

**Futaba** : hope i wont lose all my sp once im there but

**Futaba** : actually sojiro’s curry will restore it all at once

**Futaba** : omg is that y u cook so much of it?!

**Futaba** : im runnin! 

**Akira** : wait wait 

**Futaba** : HUUUH?! WAIT?! no! 

**Akira** : No, im serious. You dont want to see me like this..

**Futaba** : i cant leave u alone rn!!!! NPC AKIRA REQUIRES SUPPORT! 

**Akira** : did u just say that i am an npc-

**Futaba** : shush!

**Futaba** : i am hereeeee~ 

-

Akira looked up from his phone slightly paranoid. He knew that he did not look his best at the moment and that his face was slightly swollen. His hair was washed last time days ago, and by now was probably greasy and yucky. He could not remember when he had brushed his teeth, but at least the vomit this time was not stuck to his tongue how it was few days ago.

Futaba was one of the closest people to him in the whole group. Probably because he felt the slight glimpse of relate to her. He knew a lot about her past and used to spend the most time with her, helping her with her anxiety and promise lists. She was like a little sister to him, and she would often tell everyone new who she would meet that Akira was her older brother. _And still... he would not want Futaba near him when he was in such low state._ So, the first thing that he did was fully hide himself under the blanket and snuggle into a ball.

He heard the bells of the door ring downstairs, and the red-haired girl’s voice seemed to be already talking to Sojiro about something. Her feet at the speed of light jumped up the stairs right towards the attic and soon enough stood at the entrance. Together with her followed a smell of a chicken soup that she probably picked up from her step-dad. She placed the plate onto Akira’s counter on which Morgana would usually sleep and slowly approached the hidden figure on the bed.

“For a Phantom Thief you suck at hiding.” Futaba spoke up, and that was when he felt the weight of the girl flop next to his side. For a while she was not talking, just typing away something on her phone and simply keeping him company. Akira debated about his next actions, but soon enough pulled down his blanket - only revealing his face, while staring up at the girl.

“Why are you here?” He asked, as if hinting for her to go away to which Futaba immediately replied.

“Why do you think?” She lowered her phone and sat up more comfortable on the bed, while giving Akira a smile, “To be next to you, dummy.” The boy did not say anything, and simply turned away from her while facing the wall, “Aweee, rude.”

More time passed, and with that he began to actually get used to her being next to him. He focused more on the typing sounds that were coming from her phone and her fingers scrolling through some feed.

“You gotta eat, you know?” Futaba said, standing up and bringing back with herself a bowl of soup that Sojiro made, “You’re a big boy, so don’t expect me to feed you. C’mon, sit up! Rise and shine!” He did not want to move, if he were to be honest, but he knew that if he would not eat his guardian’s stew then it would be rude from his side. After all, he worried the hell out of Sojiro, that was the least he could do to repay. 

_ ‘He was probably worried because he is responsible for you. He does not actually care about you, you know.’  _

Slowly he finally decided to move his body in a sitting position, Futaba was quick to lift up his pillow so that he could rest his back against it without it hurting. The girl placed a small plate onto his lap and gave him a silver spoon, while sitting at the edge of the bed simply looking at the raven. There was something deep in her eyes, maybe that was pity. Akira hated to be pitied by her, he was not used to it. The boy was a leader of the Phantom Thieves, he was supposed to give them all strength and encouragement, but here he was sitting on a bed, beaten up, smelly and exhausted with one of his best friends looking down at his pathetic being.

He silently lifted up his spoon and took a few sips of the soup, his stomach immediately reacting and at first sending him a wave of nausea, but he swallowed it down by eating a small piece of chicken in the stew. He had to eat to recover and get better faster, so that they could take care of Akechi once and for all. There was still so much to do. _Right, he could go into the Metaverse and use healing spells, how did he not think of that before?_

Soon enough the plate on his lap was empty, and Futaba picked it up and placed it on the nightstand. An awkward pressure was present again in the air, and Akira slowly shifted himself back into lying position trying to curl away.

“Akira..” Futaba said, her hands suddenly tangled in the boy’s hair and pressed him towards himself crushing him into a massive bear hug. In a moment her hands protectively shielded him in her warmth away from the whole world that had hurt him. Akira’s breathing stopped for a moment and his eyes widened in shock. His brain was screaming at him to push her away, “ _I am here for you. You are not alone, you know that, right?_ ” His head began to spin, as he felt overwhelmed.

“It hurts a lot, right? I am sorry, Akira. You did not deserve this, you hear me? I am sorry that it hurts you so much.” His eyes began to water, and he could not even stop that, “But what hurts you even more is your heart. I know what it’s like, Akira. I know, and you saved me. So.. let me be here for you.”

The room was filled up with the two of them in a tight hug, Futaba gently petting the boy’s hair meanwhile his figure sobbed in silence of agony. 

_ Maybe tomorrow was going to have some  mercy on him.  _


	5. they’re falling deeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akira and the others meet up, finally setting Shido as their next target, but for some reason most of his friends decide to avoid him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a massive rush. Also, i am posting this as i am walking down the street. Lets hope a car or a bike wont hit me since im typing n walking 
> 
> Anyways, i hope ull enjoy! Love yall <3

Futaba never let him go, and this warmth that coated him felt so nice, so welcoming. It was as if he were put in a trance, his head finally feeling empty and all that he could do was be in the girl’s petite arms while she soothed him back to his senses. At some point he heard even smaller footsteps come in and then someone else landing on the mattress. His vision drifted to his right to find Morgana nuzzling to his side.

Something in his heart had cracked - he realized, as another ugly sob escaped his lips. It sounded more like a sharp breath in, but the agony that spread through his heart was unbearable. Akira had no idea what this feeling was and what had caused it in the first place. Yes, he was in a massive discomfort, but something about Morgana and Futaba being there for him, not leaving him alone at his hardest and simply holding him away from falling.. for the first time instead of forgetting, he wanted to remember this moment until he would take his last breath. This was precious, these two just now had become even more special to him than ever before.

That was when his own fingers finally twitched back to life and he lifted them up - Futaba looked up for a second surprised, and gasped once she felt Akira’s hands hugging her back and pressing her body close to his. It felt like he was scared to let go; what if once he will unlock his hold her and Morgana will disappear and he will be alone again? Gosh, how much he does not want to be alone.

“ _That’s cruel._.” Akira weakly chuckled to himself, as he hid his face in the crook of her neck. He finally let his guard down, and was not willing to push the hacker girl away. Maybe she genuinely understands. Maybe she genuinely cares, “So, so cruel..” 

_ ‘That’s called ‘pity’, demon. That is pity. You are a leader so she came back to check on you.’  _

“You’re a dummy, you know that?” Futaba answered back with a smirk, “Also, warning, you are going to crush me alive! And we will both end up in beds with broken ribs, and in no way do I want that.” Akira read the hint that she gave him to let go, which of course he immediately understood and unlocked his hold around her. This time more of his attention shifted to a curled up Morgana on his sheets.

“You are not a rookie at leading the Phantom Thieves anymore, but you are still a rookie at taking care of yourself.” The cat joked, to which Akira smiled, “They should include it as one of your school subjects.”

“Maybe a bit later, since, you know, he’s kinda deceased or missing or whatever.” Futaba reminded Morgana, to which to other nodded in a slow motion while thinking about something.

“Even though you and me will now mostly be stuck at home, we really should do some walks around! We can’t let your mental health fall down.” The cat grinned, “And on a special day we must go to a sushi place! I want my fatty tuna!” Morgana’s eyes sparkled with excitement like never before.

“Morgana and Tuna! Ship confirmation!” The girl commented, as she sat up more comfortable on Akira’s bed, who stayed quiet this whole time, “But you know.. Your tuna costs too much money!” She pointed out, making the cat immediately go on defensive.

“We can get more money from Mementos!” He argued back, to which Futaba was quick to come up with a next reply.

“But it would be even better if we did not waste any penny on unnecessary things - period.” She tried to click her fingers together in a sassy motion, but failed. They all chose to ignore the second-hand embarrassment of that moment.

“Did you just say that my fatty tuna is unnecessary?!” Morgana gasped, most likely shocked to the core of his being.

“It’s the lack of variation in your taste for me.” Hacker furrowed her eyebrows, fully turning herself towards the cat as their heated argument continued.

“Well, I think that your PC was a waste of money!” The cat shouted at her, he was now up on all four of his paws and his tails was swinging from right to left in rage.

“At least it will last for years and years, working like a good smart baby! And what about your tuna?! Once you eat it - it’s gone!” Futaba was not backing down, this whole situation made Akira want to face palm himself suddenly understanding that they were all still children in a way.

“I’m sure my tuna can recover SP!”

“We all know that it is Akira’s and Sojiro’s curry that recovers SP!”

“But we never tried eating Tuna in the Metaverse!”

“Probably because it would go bad by the time when we would have to eat it!”

The raven boy looked at the two, his face softening into a gentle look. This whole situation for some reason felt familiar, and made him feel home-sick all over again. What exactly would happen if one day Futaba and Morgana were going to have enough of him and turn away while parting their ways. He would end up all alone, unable to find peace and listen to their stupid mini-fights about tuna and curry. This seemed to be such an irrelevant moment, but all of a sudden he could not help but treasure it deep within his soul.

“Silence, both of you.” Akira quietly laughed again, as he placed his left palm on Morgana’s back and his right hand on Futaba’s shoulder - this made them both still in their place but they were not about to break the death glare that they were giving to each other, “I am not saying wether tuna is able or unable to do that, but I would rather not test it out with our lives at stake.” Morgana was about to say something, but raven beat him to it, “but, once I am able to probably get out of bed we should all go for a trip to a sushi place. Maybe not sit altogether at one table, I could sit somewhere further away, but just enjoy the fact that we are all still here.”

Morgana was quiet, not saying anything for a while until he sighed, “You had me worried there.” He admitted, Akira’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “When you were announced dead on the TV.. For a moment I got scared that maybe our plan had failed and that you were not with us anymore.. All I remember is jumping off the counter and running to Futaba. Me and her were waiting together, and no matter how nervous we were, we still had to follow the plan and-“ suddenly Akira put his hand on the cat’s head, and began scratching behind the other’s ear immediately receiving the purrs.

“I’m here, Morgana.”

_ ‘Are you, demon?’  _

The three of them perked up at the sound of the bells on the door opening and multiple voices talking downstairs. All of them were familiar, and that was when the raven shifted away from Futaba and Morgana - the blush creeping onto his cheeks. Everyone was here and he looked like a true mess, this was more than embarrassing.

“Aye! Akira, dude, we’re here!” He heard Ryuji call out, to which Futaba was the one to respond.

“We’re going down!” Hacker grinned at the other, nagging him up onto his feet and encouraging for the boy to stand up and come down to the rest of the Phantom Thieves.

“F-futaba.. I can’t- I don’t want them to see-“ he tried to protest and hide further away, but that was when Morgana lunged himself onto the boy’s lap and said.

“They are your friends, Akira. They care about you just as much as we do. But if you honestly feel like you’re not ready - we can all talk later once you feel fully recovered.” The cat patiently waited as Akira fell deep into his thoughts.

If he was going to push everyone away and make them all go back to their homes after they travelled a long way to get here, the guilt would simply eat him up from inside. After a debate with himself where he weighted out positives and negatives, he finally nodded - giving up. Akira slowly stood up onto his still wobbly legs and hissed at the stained, slow pain that radiated around his back.

In 5 minutes Futaba and Morgana have come downstairs being greeted with their chatty friends around the tables, locked up Leblanc, persecutor Sae Nijima ending another one of her calls about some case and Sojiro with a knowing grin behind the counter, wiping clean another cup out of his collection.

“You’re Makoto’s sister, right?” Haru asked, with a gentle smile. Sae at first did not say anything, but then nodded in acknowledgment. The moment she saw the hacker coming downstairs her face frowned, and she jumped up to apologize.

“I am so sorry Futaba-chan for causing you so much trouble for the whole past summer.” That made Akira wonder wether Sae had finally had a change of heart - after all, when he was getting chased by the police, the rest of his group were supposed to steal the real treasure.

“Eh, it’s ancient history now.” They all knew that Futaba had never been the person to hold grudges for long. She was an easy-going and forgiving person; this made them all smile.

That was when Akira had finally made his appearance. He had decided to wear one more hoodie on top of his sleeping shirt in order to cover up the bluish bruised on his neck and wrists.

“It’s so good to see you standin’ and rollin’, man!” Ryuji decided to be the first one to approach Akira, while throwing his hand over the leader’s shoulders in a bro-like hug.

“It’s truly refreshing to see your face once again.” Makoto admitted, as she walked up to them both. Their talk was followed up with more comments like, ‘ _I’m glad that you were not assassinated_ ’ and ‘ _sorry we did not visit you sooner, we were all slightly busy_ ’. Their bonding time was interrupted by Sojiro finally asking how exactly they had even managed to pull this whole thing off.

They all tried to explain to both the guardian and the persecutor the fact how they planned it all out, how they realized that Akechi was the traitor, how Morgana can actually talk and understand everything. The moment that Futaba had played the recording that they got after tapping Akechi’s phone made both adults still in shock - realizing the dangerous weight that these teenagers had to carry for the past month.

“On top of that, there is someone else commanding Akechi.. Someone with a great authority.” Pointed out Makoto, “So great that they can order an assassination within the police station. That’s why we had to make a move before they did.” Sojiro and Sae exchanged looks again, and then let the brunette continue, “We baited Akechi into Sis’s Palace, making him dispose of our leader’s fake but think that he had killed him. First, we required a place inside the cognitive world that was the same as in reality.”

As Akira was listening, the ugly feeling that had been quiet for days suddenly came back - overwhelming him all at once. He kept hearing the way how everyone: Ryuji, Haru, Ann, Yusuke, Futaba and even Morgana were praising Makoto. He suddenly felt useless. As a Leader, he should have been the one to come up with a solution to a problem, but this whole plan was all Makoto’s credit. No one even brought up the fact that it led to Akira being in a critical state. _What was even this emotion? Was it a mix of emotions?_ He could not tell, and to be honest - he did not want to. Some things were better to be left unread. 

“I did have a bit if rivalry forming with Akechi-“ _no, Akechi was and still is my rival,_ “-but I just couldn’t contain myself when you became the target, Sis. After all, I did join the Phantom Thieves to heal your heart.” _Does that mean that you will leave now?_

The talk then resumed with discussing more smaller details of what had went down. Akira shifted in his place, he felt uncomfortable. Ashamed at the fact that he had to get jealous over Akechi out of all people. Even the thought of that.. Was stupid. ‘ _Hey, it’s my murdered!_ ’ Or whatever. _Honestly, what was going on with him recently?_

That was when they began explaining the last part of the whole plan, everything about how they found his cognition, how Akechi shot the fake, how Sae was distracted with texts from Alibaba and how she had went in and exited the Metaverse. 

“Still.. I’m impressed that you were able to convince me in such a short time, were you confidant that you would manage to do that?” _No, I was not. I was also half stuck in a trance and was going through a mental breakdown after being beaten and drugged almost to death._

“Of course, even though I was slightly nervous.” He chuckled. _Since when lying had become so easy?_

The conversation continued again, where Sae explained the fact that nobody had even checked on Akira’s body and just passed around the false death certificate about the Leader of the Phantom Thieves committing suicide, which soon enough made it’s way onto the international news. 

“Thinking back to the interrogation room-“ Makoto spoke up again, her voice a lot lower and even slightly angry. Meanwhile Akira flinched at the simple reminder of that place, “-I can’t believe about what they had done to him. The callous use of violence and even drugs...is utterly abnormal. If he had lost consciousness and hadn’t been able to tell Sis about the phone.. he would have died.” _Wait. He did not lose consciousness? That was weird, Akira thought that he did lose it and even multiple times. What were they even talking about?_ When he tried to think more about it, it felt like there were dark spots in his memory of that day, “I’m truly glad that you made it back safe.” 

_‘Right. That would have been a mess if you would not be able to carry out an only task that you were given, demon.’_

“That was a breezer.” Akira chuckled, while moving his neck and even cracking some of his bones to seem more tough in a comical way. 

“And still.. it freaked me out when I saw the suicide report on the news.” Ann admitted.

“We made sure to keep living normal lives while he was being interrogated to avoid drawing any suspicion, but even with that I could not help but worry about him in my heart.” That was when even more comments flooded him and how they were glad to see him again after such a long while. There was one good thing that came out of all of this, they finally had Sae Nijima fully on their side and reassured Sojiro, also ready to assist them in any way that he could. They officially had a hideout now, great, that could end up being useful for the future duties. 

After a small break, they resumed discussing Akechi and eventually their topic had landed onto the man who they had been most likely looking for - Masayoshi Shido. The politician who was going up in the elections and aiming to be the Prime Minister of the country. He hit all the needs: had the same name as Akechi had mentioned during one of his phone calls and was a massive man of power. Plus, had a pretty clear motive. The reactions and information that Sae and Sojiro followed up with only proved that Shido was most likely the mastermind behind the series of psychotic breakdowns.

Well, seems that they finally got a target. _Their deadline was 24th of December,_ which was a month and a half away. Enough time to ensure everything was prepared for their main battle. Now all they needed was to get all possible practice done, all the medicines and spells packed and, of course - mentally prepare themselves.

-

It was the next day after they had a massive talk in the Leblanc about their next target. They all felt guilty about what had happened to Akira back in the interrogation room. None of them even suspected that their leader would get abused into such state, but once they all got that one, extremely long text from Makoto explaining what Sae had told her - most of their faces paled. None of them were sure how to react, since whenever they would feel so heavy they would go to Akira, but now was the time to be there for Akira instead.. None of them knew how.

Their leader was always the one to give the right advice, listen to them, give out a critique, come up with a strategy, handle the difficulties, protect everyone and be the shoulder to cry on. He always had this facade of a strong person who simply had no knowledge of what it is like to break down or feel the lowest. _Ah, the irony._

The Phantom Thieves, _well_ , not really - Makoto, Ryuji, Yusuke, Ann and Haru all sat together in a cafe while pocking their already cold foods with chopsticks as they were unsure how exactly they should start this conversation. They did invite Futaba and Morgana, but the girl declined, saying that at the moment she will be spending time in Leblanc until Akira would get better. Which was weird, because yesterday when they were all talking together he seemed to be completely fine.

“Aw, man. Fuck it, I’ll say it. I don’t really know how I feel about all of this.” Ryuji was the first one to break the silence, to which Makoto nodded - the guilt crossed her face as she closed both of her hands in a lock of fingers.

“I must agree.. I texted Akira my apologies about what had happened to him, plus yesterday apologized again, but even then he told me that I should calm down first. It feels like he can see right through me and tell that I.. I don’t know what to say and how not to feel guilty. The worst part in this, is by how little he treats such situation meanwhile I know what my sister had told me was horrific.” The brunette sighed, as she flopped her back against the seat, trying to relax her body.

“I know Akira won’t end up like Shiho-“ Ann spoke up, her finger reaching up to play with the lock of her hair, “-and I feel guilty about how even now I simply can’t bring myself there and look him in the eyes. Even if I will go there, what am I going to say? Ask him how he is doing? Ask him what he has been up to?” The girl cut the piece of a strawberry cheesecake with her fork and took a bite, they all waited for her to chew on it, as she continued to talk again, “This whole situation made me realize.. That I don’t know anything about Akira. I don’t even know what he likes to eat!”

“I must agree...” Yusuke stiffed, while furrowing his eyebrows and setting his phone down, “Our Leader is a master at twisting his personality for our pleasure in communicating with him.“

“Dude, why do you talk like that..” Ryuji cringed at artist’s word phrasing, as he groaned in frustration, “It’s just- goddamit! I’m supposed to be his best friend, but even I don’t know what the fuck to do and the fact that we are sitting here talkin’ about it is so shitty! Plus, this whole shit-ass dude- _Shido_ , was it? Gosh!” Some people turned around to look at them, as blond was being too loud. Both Makoto and Ann pressed their index fingers onto their lips shushing the boy in a warning.

“Quiet!” Ann gasped with a frown, “You’re attracting too much attention!”

“S-sorry. It just came out and I could not stop myself.” Ryuji looked down a bit embarrassed, the mini-awkwardness was quickly forgotten by Makoto. Her eyes got filled up with sadness and regret.

“There is also a possibility that _he is your_ best friend, not the other way around.” Saying that thought out loud hurt all of them, especially Ryuji.

“Don’t be like that..” The blond mumbled, looking down. He felt someone put their hand on his shoulder and perked up to see Ann’s face.

“Do we really have a right to be mad at him, though?” Haru finally decided to speak up, after listening to their talk without interruptions. She tried to choose her words carefully, too afraid to sting anyone’s personal feelings, “We all promised to visit him, but instead we avoided him and saw him for the first time only yesterfay. It’s been a week since he had woken up, and none of us spared any time for him. And.. It feels like whenever I tell him that there is another Okumura foods business meeting or arrangements with lawyers, I am simply making up excuses not to see him. And now that we have figured out that Shido is the mastermind.. and my father’s killer..”

The silence followed after the girl’s words. She was right. Ryuji had been more out in the gym and practices, ignoring the texts from their leader that kept suggesting for them to watch a DVD or play a game. Ann had been visiting Shiho almost daily and engaging in modeling photoshoots constantly, replying hours later to tell him that her phone was on silent or it died. Yusuke only knew how to talk about art, and dismissed if their leader ever proposed any other activity or topic of discussion. Meanwhile Makoto whenever would see Akira’s beaten up face, felt guilt eat her up to the point that avoidance was a lot easier than facing face-to-face the struggle.

The first time they had all talked since he had woken up was yesterday, and even then they all mostly focused of the Phantom Thieves business and nothing more. After they pinned down the target they all left, without even properly telling Akira good night.

“I... I hope he will understand how we feel.” Ann whispered, and they all gave a weak nod to that.

“Of course he will, it’s Akira we’re talking about.” Ryuji grinned, trying to cheer up the atmosphere. That’s when their phones suddenly buzzed and they saw that it was their groupchat, “Oh, that’s him! Speak of the _Devil_! I bet he wants to go to Mementos or something.” 

** PHANTOMS**

**Akira** : I have been thinking for a while now

**Futaba** : that’s dangerous 

**Akira** : hey

**Akira** : anyway 

**Akira** : me n morgana talked it over.. how about we all go out for sushi? 

**Makoto** : that is extremely dangerous.

**Yusuke** : I must agree, Joker, to the public you are known as deceased. We can’t risk someone noticing you.  
  


**Haru** : I’m sad to agree with Yusuke and Makoto... 

**Akira** : wait, wait

**Akira** : I will sit further away from all of you of course 

**Akira** : its just ive noticed that recently we have all been quite separated and i dont know if i quite like the thought of that 

**Akira** : plus morgana really wants the tuna and i havent been out for days now 

**Futaba** : he wont shut up about it lol 

**Ann** : When do you want this to happen? 

**Akira** : tomorrow, obviously. Takemi said that I can already walk and everything, plus, i feel a lot better after our meeting yesterday:D 

**Ann** : tomorrow i am a bit busy... sorry, akira 

**Haru** : same here, I have a new lawyer to get in contact with 

**Yusuke** : and I must visit the gallery, ive been invited there and it would be rude to decline 

**Ryuji** : and.. i kinda lost the bet to fox so now gotta put up with this shit together with him

**Yusuke** : be happy to appreciate the magnificent art without any charge! That’s the true honor! 

**Akira** : that’s alright! Well.. then I guess..

**Futaba** : hey, akira. Ill be there. 

**Akira** : you dont have to though

**Futaba** : no, its a must! 

**Haru** : by the way, it’s not that i want to seem rude but shouldn’t we focus on the Palace at the moment? 

**Haru** : after all, we have a month and a half..

**Makoto** : and we have no idea how big that place is going to be.. 

**Akira** : oh. 

**Futaba** : I am already working on figuring out the keywords! Don’t worry about it guys, but are u all sure u cant come tomorrow? 

**Haru** : if it is not as serious of a matter as Shido’s Palace, then I am sad to say no. 

**Yusuke** : I am sorry, Joker, but I also must decline. 

**Ryuji** : i gotta go with yusuke 

**Ann** : I have a photoshoot as I said.. Too late to cancel now. 

**Akira** : ah, its okay. Me and Futaba will make sure to know the keywords by the time you guys are done:) 

**Futaba** : akira... 

**Ann** : well then, ttyl! 

-

They all put their phones down and sighed in frustrations that began to pile up. They did it again, each and one of them successfully avoided Akira without even a moment of hesitation.

“We.. We kinda suck, you know.” Ryuji suddenly spoke up, aggressively throwing one leg over another, “B-but at the same time, why does he keep choosing the days when we are clearly busy!” He groaned, his right foot began to tap against the floor at a fast speed.

“It seems that Akira wants to act as if nothing had happened.. but we can’t just ignore the elephant in the room how he does.” Makoto tried explaining, “Also... that is rather unusual for him to want to meet up with us all unless the deal is about a Palace or Mementos...” 

“Maybe loneliness got to him, I don’t know...” Ann whined, opening some other texting app on her phone and typing to someone, “I will.. Text my manager. It’d be awkward if me and him would actually stumble upon each other by accident.” 

“I hope Akira won’t be too upset..” Haru said in an innocent voice, pushing away the cup with a royal black tea and milk inside of it, “At least he has Futaba and Morgana to support him.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure they’ll be enough.” Ryuji showed the thumbs up, while throwing his jacket over his shoulder, “I’ll go, I don’t wanna be late on this train and the next one will only be in 30 minutes, too much fucking time of waiting.” 

“Have a safe trip.” Yusuke wished him, “Don’t be late to an art gallery, I will send you an address.” The artist reminded him; blond boy’s eyes shot open.

“Yo, I was kidding, you know-“ 

“Now you must follow it up, too late to decline.” Yusuke shook his head. They all could swear that he was most likely deep down enjoying this. 

-   
  


Akira felt uncomfortable yet again. He sat on his bed, with a game console in his hand gaming away his thoughts. Around an hour ago, him and Morgana have went down into the Mementos to heal him up - so now most of his injuries were gone, counting the fresh self-harm cuts that the raven caused on himself few days ago on his ankles. The 6 long, reddish lines were now faint white marks on the pale skin, and no more. _He wished everything could be cured that easily._

“Akira.. I’m sure they remember, they’re just tired!” Morgana meowed, to which Akira smiled.

“Of course! Plus, it’s okay. We all had a long day plus a big mission coming up. I am not mad at them or anything, I could never, and I am not upset!” He grinned, convincing Morgana the best that he could. Eventually the other gave in and believed into the act.

“If you say so.” He said, “By the way, I’m sorry but I will be empty-handed since I am a cat and all, but me, Sojiro and Futaba are all the hosts of tomorrow!” His tail moved slowly from left to right.

“Thanks, Morgana. You all are like a family to me at this point.” Akira chuckled. 

_But he lied when he said that it did not upset him that his friends forgot about his birthday._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah and, the deadline for Shido’s Palace and date of Akira’s birthday were changed for the sake of the plot!!


	6. speak of the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They manage to find the distortion of Shido’s heart, which eventually leads them to finding out someone else’s confidant on the Nav.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to have been posted yesterday but ao3 deleted the chap ;-; it was like 3am for me so-  
> Here i am back at 11:45am posting this again hehe but a mini warning that i did not correct all mistakes and i will correct them a bit later  
> Hope you’ll enjoy!  
> Thank u sm for comments under the previous chapter #^~^# ❤️

Silence. He woke up on a hard, cold floor that sent shivers down his spine making him want to curl onto himself in a defensive action. He was wearing his normal clothes - he noticed, a dark grey hoodie with no special design on it and ripped black jeans. As his eyes lazily looked around the place; he finally recognized the room as a bathroom downstairs of Leblanc. His whole body felt numb and drained, like all the power that he had before escaped his hold and left him lie dead on the ground with the small stream of water running on the background of his mind.

He finally decided to shift himself upwards, while gripping with his right hand onto the toilet seat in order to stand up and turn off the water that was flowing down in the sink. His nose scrunched up when an unpleasant iron smell hit his senses. That was when the sight had finally registered in his vision - in a snowy white bathroom, there were toxic red puddles of blood on the floor and traces of dried off blood all over the walls and the sink. The whole scenery around him looked like a murder scene, and he was the victim.

The panic settled in, as he immediately grabbed the closest towel to himself and pressed hard against his still slowly bleeding out left wrist. Akira was surprised that up until now he did not feel any pain, but that was most likely muffed due to how appalled his inner self felt. He heard that when having an anxiety rush, a person is immune to the unpleasant feeling. _That was one way to put it_ , he thought.

Raven could not remember how he got here in the first place — he was confused, as his eyes scanned around looking for some sort of blade or a phone, nothing. He could not even tell what time was at the moment, since the bathroom had no windows or a clock, and honestly, that would be strange if it did. A sudden knock on the door startled Akira almost to death and made all the color drench away from his face.

“Kid, you good?” Came familiar deep voice of Sojiro; before the raven would reply he swallowed down the knot that formed in his throat.

“Y-yeah!” His voice broke in the middle, making him cringe. The groan came from the man on the other side, stepping away from thedoor.

“I hope you’re not doing anything nasty in there, I will make sure to kick you out if you do.” Threatened Sojiro while walking back towards the counter in a cafe. Akira sighed in relief, his legs giving up on him as he slid down the wall back onto the cold floor. He had to clean up the mess and maybe as he will do that, something would trigger for his memories to come back.

The boy finally put away the towel from his wrist and opened one of the cabinets to pull out the first aid kit that his guardian kept in there for emergency times like these - it’s kind of funny that the only situations so far that it had been used were all connected to the teen.

Once he set up everything around himself, the raven properly washed his hands with soap to make sure that they were clean, and then he soaked the wound in some water to get rid of the dried off blood, bacteria or any possible dirt that could get stuck. Once he was done - which took him around a minute; Akira left the water in the sink flow, so that the sounds coming from the room would be unheard. He sat himself back down onto the floor, pulling out the package. The cut was bleeding a lot before, but now that it had calmed down, the raven decided not to go for the stitches this time, but instead just use Steri-Strips, until he’ll go into the Metaverse to heal it up.

Once he was sure that his wrist was clean and dry, he could finally observe and analyze that the cut was actually not as massive as it seemed. Most likely he made a mess in the bathroom because he did not take of that right away.

_ ‘ How stupid can you get, demon? ‘ _

The boy bit down onto his lower lip in order to hold in any grunts of pain, as he pushed the two sides of the ripped skin close together. He then began put each half of the Steri-Strip over the two sides of the cut so that it would hold the wound together. He started with one side, then pulled the other half over to help to close up the cut that by now was pulsing in irritating way, making him want to scratch it open all over again.

He had no idea how much time had passed by the time he was done stitching everything up. Akira was not extremely worried about the possibility of getting an infection since he could drop by in Mementos today, and that would be the quickest way to solve the problem without professional medical attention.

“Kid.” He heard the knock again, this time the voice had a much lower tone, “I’m not leaving ‘till you open this damn door.” Sojiro threatened; Akira quickly picked up the tissues from the counter to wipe off the blood from the walls and the floor, flushing them down into the toilet.

“O-one minute!” He weakly called out, scanning with his eyes all over the bathroom for the last time and pulling his sleeve down to cover up the cut. With the last breath out, the boy unlocked the door and swung it open almost hitting the owner of a cafe in the face.

“J-jesus, kid! Careful with this.” Groaned Sojiro, the boy flushed with embarrassment and quickly bowed to apologize.

“I’m sorry..” he trailed off, looking guilty.

“Anyway, what kept you so long in there? Honestly, spending your birthday in the bathroom is too sad for you, kid. Get out of here.” Sojiro lightly tapped Akira on the shoulder, to which the boy’s eyes went round at the sudden realization. _Today was his birthday! Right! He forgot!_

With hesitation lingering down his spine, the boy straightened up his back feeling awkward with the attention that he was getting. Strange feeling for someone who is leading an international criminal group from the shadows. The moment he stepped outside of the small room, he was met with the bright lights of a cafe and confetti being popped right to his left side.

“Happy birthday, Akira!” He heard two voices - Morgana and Futaba - loudly say as they both quickly came up to the boy. The hacker jumped down from one of the tables and Morgana on the other hand jumped up onto the table that was closest to the raven.

Futaba was wearing different clothes than usual; today she was dressed in an oversized fluffy white sweater with a print of Sailor Moon on it and milky shorts with high socks and some sneakers. Her hair was put up in a ponytail and in her hands she was holding up a box that had a red wrapped around it. There was a sticker on top of it saying: “ _For Akira, from Futaba and Morgana_ ” with a little drawn heart at the end. The teen stood stunned, still too shocked from what was happening as they all waited for him to react somehow.

“C’mon Akira, open it!” Morgana jumped up in his place getting impatient, this brought Akira back to reality, making him blink and look around. The whole place was decorated in some Christmas-looking lights and on the counter stood a velvet cake, that the boy once had mentioned he really wanted to try.

“His brain is probably loading.” Snorted Futaba, getting a slight hit on the head from Sojiro, “Ouch!”

“Be quiet.” The man grinned.

“You all did this... for me?” The raven asked, still confused. His hand automatically reached to pet the cut that he had been bandaging up just moments ago - guilt crawling from within. _He did not deserve these people. He did not deserve this affection and kindness. He did not deserve to be this happy._

“Of course! Today you’re finally 17! One more year to go and you’ll be an official boomer!” Futaba shook the box in her hand, “My hands will fall off if you won’t hurry up with your saving settings!” She whined, to which raven let out a small laugh and accepted the gift.

He placed it down onto the table and slowly unravelled the present, revealing the rich looking fake gun model that the two of them most likely got from Iwai. It was more of a personalized design, but the work itself was impressive and expensive. The boy’s eyes went wide, and he shook his head.

“I- I can’t accept, this is too much-“ he tried to put the pistol back, but that’s when Morgana angrily meowed at him.

“You’re the Leader of the Phantom Thieves! This gun took months to get finally done! Accept it not just as a birthday present - but as our appreciation towards everything what you had done for us.” Akira was still quiet, looking down as if he were thinking. That was when Futaba sighed.

“ _You deserve it, Akira._ ” She said; _How was it that she always knew what to say? Oh, must be written all over his face. That’s embarrassing_ , “You always work and work and work. You also took a bullet for us more than once, and if this fake-ass gun that can only be useful in the Metaverse can prove at least 1% of how thankful we all are, then please accept it.”

“Futaba, language.”

“Sorry!” 

_‘ If you will keep standing in silence like that, everything around will get awkward. Can you stop being so goddamn evil and just accept such a kind offer from them? Take that as their offering for your future sacrifices, demon. ‘_

“Thank you, Futaba.” Akira nodded, stretching out a smile and finally taking a hold of the gun while looking it up and down. It was a perfect fit for his hand and could contain many bullets. Amazing. Morgana’s and Futaba’s eyes sparkled with something similar to happiness, as the cat finally jumped up right onto the boy’s hands. Akira flinched in defense, but managed to catch Morgana just in time before any of them could fall.

The hacker girl’s face paled as she saw the sleeve of the boy slightly go down and reveal patched up skin.

“And here is my present.” Sojiro interrupted the cat and Akira from an unusual standing-cuddling position as he stretched out something similar to a book wrapped up in a decorative silver paper.

“I can’t believe you’d give him a book!” Futaba gasped, “That’s like the worst present to ever get on your birthday!” She frowned, her eyes for a moment flickered back at Akira, but she quickly jumped into her character once again.

“That’s not just any book... But I suggest for you to open it once you are ready, Akira. You know what this is.” The voice of the man was a lot more serious now. Morgana and Futaba exchanged looks of confusion, meanwhile the boy seemed to understand what the item really was. There was a quiet ‘ _oh_ ’ that escaped from his lips as he looked down at the wrapped present, “I saw you throwing it out back in July, but decided to keep it. It’s important to you, no?”

“Very.” The boy answered with what seemed to be pain in his voice, “Thank you so much for not leaving it there... But I don’t think I am ready to open it.. Could you please keep it with yourself for now?” Raven glanced up, and Sojiro nodded.

“Of course.”

The rest of the night went more casual. They all have enjoyed some cake - Morgana got a special set of sushi and some cat treats out of salmon. Everyone talked about nothing serious, bringing up some fun memories or stories to discuss while enjoying the warm atmosphere in Leblanc. This feels like home, Akira thought, the home that he had lost long time ago. 

-

The day at school for the Phantom Thieves felt different without Akira there. It has been 2 weeks since he last had attended, which was weird. The teachers kept saying to curious students and classmates how raven had actually went back into his hometown or that he was at the moment sick and was not accepting any visitors. Not that there would be anyone who would actually care. Teenagers, no - society - was always up for a juicy gossip. 

Akira Kurusu had always been a topic for discussion since he had all the perfect criteria for if. He was tall, handsome, quiet, smart, criminal record on hand, no information about his past and unable to fight back the bullies. Ideal target.

“Maybe we should pick up stuff from Akira’s locker?” Asked Ann, as they all sat on a table in the canteen during lunch break, “I mean... At least I know where it is, it is next row to mine.”

“That would be a nice gesture, but if he did not ask us to do it, then we really should not pry though his personal belongings.” Haru said quietly, she was trying to eat her bento faster, so that she would still have time to go up to the roof and do her gardening activities, “I must admit, not having Akira land a hand with my work is unusual.”

“I know right!” Ryuji shot up his eyes, stuffing his mouth with a piece of under-cooked steak that came in with the school lunch, “It’s weird not to talk to him about how shitty some people are.”

“Whenever I would not know something in class - I would just lean over, and Akira and Morgana would tell me an answer and save me.. But today I embarrassed myself so bad during Japanese class.” The blonde girl sighed, “Anyway... my manager yesterday was such an ass.” She rolled her eyes.

“So?” Ryuji asked, shooting her the look, “What’d he do?” Both Haru and Ann frowned at the boy talking with his mouth full, “schwool lumwches awe the worwst.”

“Chew first!” Ann pointed out, “You’re so yucky!”

“Or we could just all eat in silence, so that none of us will end up choking.” Haru smiled, to which they all agreed while focusing back on their food. 

** PHANTOMS**

**Futaba** : ladies and gentlemen!! *drum roll*

**Futaba** : WE

**Futana** : HAVE

**Futaba** : FOUND

**Futaba** : THE KEYWORDS  😤

**Ann** : omg! 

**Ann** : thats great news! 

**Ryuji** : yo guys yall r awesome 

**Akira** : all credit to Futaba 

**Futaba** : u r the one who remembered about him “steering the country” 

**Ryuji** : huh? 

**Ryuji** : wdum

**Futaba** : apparently him n akira have met before n he said that 

**Ryuji** : oh right! 

**Ryuji** : we met him at the elevator 

**Ryuji** : almost forgot that

**Akira** : ah must have been then 

**Ryuji** : weird i dont remember anything about steering the country 

**Haru** : so what are the key words? 

**Futaba** : shido, diet building and a ship 

**Ann** : ship? 

**Haru** : that’s strange... 

**Ryuji** : whatever 

**Ryuji** : lets just hope its small 

**Akira** : It’s alright, I will make sure that we are all well prepared! 

**Ann** : thanks joker! 

**Ryuji** : u got this man 

**Haru** : thank you, akira:) 

**Makoto** : why are you all texting while it’s almost the end of lunch?

**Makoto** : Oh! That’s amazing news, we have now distortions complete and a target ahead. 

**Makoto** : Good job, Futaba! 

**Futaba** : it was akira’s deed too tho 

**Ryuji** : anyway when r we meeting up for the palace? 

**Ann** : today after school i am free! 

**Haru** : same goes for myself 

**Akira** : ah, uhm.. sorry i cant today 

**Ryuji** : what?! What could u possibly be busy with?!

**Ann** : thats right, arent u like on the house arrest 

**Makoto** : Is something the matter? 

**Akira** : yeah.. supplies. I have to get new ones 

**Ryuji** : u still didnt?! Also, i thought we had enough from last time

**Ann** : we did, akira, did you waste them or something? 

**Akira** : i went to mementos a few times for money and to heal up 

**Ann** : why didnt u tell us? We would have come! 

**Akira** : that was yesterday though... 

**Haru** : we would come for something as important as Mementos or Palace, we mentioned that before 

**Ryuji** : don’t do stuff behind our backs man

**Akira** : ah.. sorry 

**Futaba** : yall r dumbasses. 

**Ann** : what? 

**Ryuji** : thats rude coming from you 

**Makoto** : this is all a misunderstanding, lets just move on.

**Makoto** : when would you be ready for the infiltration? At least for a quick scouting? 

**Akira** : tomorrow after school will do! 

**Ann** : dammit now i have to cancel my meeting with shiho

**Ryuji** : ugh but i have a practice.. 

**Akira** : fine, fine. I.. Let’s meet up at 6:30pm then at the hideout today 

**Futaba** : roger that 

**Futaba** : but if u r not ready.. 

**Akira** : it’ll be fine

**Ryuji** : u two r being too nice to each other 

**Ryuji** : whats going on

**Futaba** : thats called not being blind, skull 

**Ann** : huh? 

**Yusuke** : at 6:30 pm we are meeting up to infiltrate Shido’s Palace. I will make it my priority not to be late. 

**Makoto** : Great, I will see all of you there. 

-

The moment Akira dropped down the phone he heavily sighed while lying in his bed. He could not brush off the feeling as if they were mad at him, and he could not stop thinking about why. Just texting them and being straightforward about it, would sound like a confrontation and make the situation deepen into a worse position, so instead, he chose to swallow it down and embrace the hit that he had been getting. Maybe they will let out their steam and continue to do what he will say during the battles and infiltration. 

_ ‘ I think Makoto would be a better fit than you. Look how hopeless you are, pathetic, little scum of a demon. ‘ _

_ No. Stop thinking. Stop listening to this damn voice. Stop. Leave me alone. Just - please, let me be at peace.  _

Akira stood up from his bed, his head felt like it weighted over 50 kilograms, as he picked up the coat and a scarf while going downstairs. The cafe was still open, but there were barely any visitors. Sojiro looked up at the boy in surprise, pausing his routine in brewing another espresso cup. 

“Where are you going, kid?” He questioned, to which Akira wrapped a scarf around his neck; tugging it up to cover the lower part of his face. He also quickly threw a coat over his shoulder, that was sure to shield him from any possible cold awaiting outside. And from being recognized by the policemen, of course. 

“To Takemi, I need something.” Akira mumbled to which Sojiro hummed in approval. 

“Just be careful out there.” He warned, to which raven nodded while smiling; he later on felt stupid about that once he remembered that Sojiro could not see his mouth and walked out of Leblanc. 

The cold air hit him straight up, making a slight shudder run down his spine. This sensation was similar to when he had woken up on the bathroom floor, alone and freezing. As he was walking down the street, with his hands in his pockets, thinking back about the times. His hometown. He wondered about what was it like. Was it similar to Tokyo? No, probably it was a lot smaller in size and population. Did he have friends or family, and if he did then why did they not contact him at all? Was it because he got a criminal record? Could he have done something even worse in the past? Did he not have a family or friends before? 

His thoughts were interrupted by his own self opening the door - an automatic gesture - while his hand waved at the doctor. Takemi looked up from her paperwork, not quite surprised by teenagers re-appearance at the clinic. Her eyes quickly glanced him up and down, sighing and standing up. Without any question she mumbled her catch-phrase, ‘ _please head to the exam room_ ’, to which Akira complied after hanging up his coat and scarf at one of the wardrobes in the hallway. 

“You’re already back on your feet..” Takemi let out a sharp laugh; Akira entered the room and took a seat in front of her, “What are you buying this time?” The boy pulled out a small piece of paper from his front pocket and opened it up, reading out the items as if he were in a supermarket stocking up on groceries.

“15 life Oilments, 10 Relax Gels, Recov-R 200.. I need around 25 of those, they come very handy. Hm..” he hummed, “Then the physical and magical barriers-“ 

“A what now?” The doctor blinked up at him, “You better not be doing any drugs.” She said more seriously, to which Akira laughed.

“Oh, sorry. Forgot the name - it’s the pink and blue ones on which you gave me a sale last time I shopped.” She seemed to have understood what the boy meant, as she rolled her chair to the cabinet all the way at back of the room.

“How many?” Takemi asked, though she had already began scooping up the capsules. He often bought a handful of these. 

“Around 20 of each.” The teen replied, finally folding up the paper and aiming it at the bin under Takemi’s working desk, “That’s all.” 

“Where do you even get this much money..?” The doctor questioned as she gathered all his medicine in a plastic bag, while Akira counted money in his hand, “You’re not stealing, are you?” 

“Not quite.” He shrugged, giving the sum to Takemi, “You won’t check?” Raven blinked surprised.

“I trust you, you’re an honest bean.” She threw one leg over the other meanwhile the teenager was busy hiding the medicine under his hoodie so that nobody outside would see, “ _I was curious and looked up your medical history._ ” Takemi spoke up, and Akira’s heart jumped into his throat meanwhile all the blood drenched from his face, “That’s quite a reaction.” 

“U-uhm..” raven bit onto his lower lip, avoiding eye contact as much as possible, “I-I see.. Can I go?” After a moment of silence, the woman nodded her head, dismissing him. He took his chance and ran up to the door, trying to leave as fast as possible. On his way out he even almost bumped into one of the locals, but he skillfully dodged and reached towards his coat - running outside, and right towards Leblanc. 

“I must have hit a sensitive spot..” Takemi whispered as she watched Akira through the window, constantly looking behind his shoulder like he was expecting someone to follow him. _He was paranoid. Always has been._

-

It was now 6:30pm, and just how they all had agreed - the group of the Phantom Thieves stood in front of a Diet Building, meanwhile Akira tried his best to keep distance and cover up his face as much as possible.

“Are we all set?” Asked Ryuji, giving everyone a look - they all nodded, “Then I’m starting up the Nav.” The boy opened up his phone and pressed onto an eye icon that was familiar to all of them, “Shido, Diet Building, Ship.” 

The reality blurred in front of their eyes as distortion began to stretch out their whereabouts into a cognitive world that is hidden between one’s dream and reality. They have officially entered someone else’s heart, and although the act should be familiar by now - Akira still gasped at the rush of excitement that he got as he watched his clothes change into the Joker’s outfit. This mask made him feel stronger and more stable on his feet, like no matter what would come their way; he would crush it with one call of his Personas- or, Shadows, to be more precise. 

They found themselves standing on a royal-looking ship which was highly expected. The sky that hung upon them was darkened in crimson red and wine shades, giving the atmosphere a heavy pressure. The ship seemed to be moving, and once they all came up to an edge to look outside - their eyes went wide at seeing a whole Japan drowned in the ocean of innocent’s tears. Shido was ready to steer the country even if it meant he had to make it go down under his feet. 

“We must change this bastard’s heart!” Ryuji said angrily, “This place is messed up, man!” It really was, nothing like this should have even exist but here they were, standing on the surface of one’s distorted desires. 

“Before we go,” Akira stopped the determined teenagers, “I know you want to get this done as fast as possible, which I promise will happen, but today we are simply scouting the place and it’s enemies. It would be a Jackpot for us to discover a Safe Room or a map.” That was the voice of a true leader, the Devil who’s name was Joker that lived within, “It would be highly appreciated if you all would hide and avoid fighting as much as possible. We want to keep security level low for the time being. This target is a lot larger than any before, we can’t throw our lives nor play with this one.” Joker put his hands into his pockets and passed by all of them, the look in his eyes was cold and unphased, “Masayoshi Shido is the mastermind behind psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns - stay up on your feet and have your senses high. Tell me about anything that you see, feel or smell; even silly things like intuition could end up being a useful warning.” 

“You got it, Joker!” Morgana said, jumping ahead to catch up to their Leader. 

“Then let’s begin.” The raven grinned, as they finally had entered the mysterious ship. 

He liked the atmosphere, if he were to be honest. The people on the ship were not distorted, but were all wearing masks. He quite agreed with the intention behind such thought - humans constantly played a specific role in their life in order to survive. Such doing was a part of a daily routine even for the Phantom Thieves who were known to stand up against the norms of society ruled by the law. 

It was also easy talking with these Shadows, none of them attacked or tried anything funny; surprisingly they were understanding and actually had many things to talk about and even individual personalities. At first Akira suspected for them to be cognitions, but he could smell the fact that they weren’t. _Wait. Smell? That’s weird._

They quickly found the map to the place, and it was not grand. He expected it to be bigger in size and have more of a complicated structure, but he guessed luck was playing with their cards. Now they had a clear task - get the letters in order to reach the Treasure. Easy, but too early to let the guard fall down. And as Akira was about to pull back and go to the real world, he got ambushed by his own friends.

“Let’s stay some more!” Ann suggested, while approaching Akira’s side, “You usually always push us to complete Palaces under 2 days, but today you want to pull out while we are so full of power? I just..” the blonde looked down.

“I agree with Panther.” Spoke up Ryuji, his voice sounded deeper than usual and Joker wondered wether that was because of them being in the Metaverse. 

“And I will repeat myself _again_ , we are going back home. I need time to _think_ , plus _prepare_ , and I can’t do that in this environment.” Joker sounded angrier than what he had anticipated, but it came out by itself. He regretted his words the moment they reached other’s ears.

“Joker.. This is ridiculous. We have clear tasks to complete, enough items with HP and SP.” Yusuke included himself in the discussion, but unlike others he did not hold back in expressing his feelings, “And I disagree with the fact that when we wish to proceed, you are dismissing our determinations without any second thoughts! But the next time we will infiltrate, you are going to push us until we are exhausted or barely alive! This type of leadership is _toxic_!”

_ Toxic. Toxic leadership. He was a bad leader. Of course, everyone thought that he was bad in some sort of way. A bad son, a bad friend, a bad person and now even a bad leader. He could never do anything right, because he was evil. Fighting this nature.. is that really worth it? No; he had to stay strong. Even if he was a demon, he could never let them see that. _

“Fox..” Haru whispered as she tugged at the artist’s sleeve, trying to calm him down or hint that maybe he was crossing the line there.

“I meant what I said, Joker.” Yusuke added only more fuel to already burning fire. Since Akira was quiet, Ann used it to her advantage.

“Joker... We can maybe vote-“ Panther suggested, but Akira cut her off without letting her finish.

“ _No, I said that we are going home._ All of you are clearly either inflicted with rage or confusion.” Joker turned around, but suddenly heard footsteps coming right at him.

“Joker!” That was Makoto, she rarely raised her voice so that was something unusual, “You can’t constantly decide for us! We are a team, and if we say we want to go further into the Palace, then we will do so!”

“Then I will forcefully drag you all out, since you are all clearly overwhelmed with emotions.” Akira replied, all of a sudden he felt his Joker Persona within him shake, he was already getting tired of this.

“ _At least we have them damn emotions, unlike you!_ ” Ryuji defended, but those were the words that made Morgana and Futaba gasp in shock.

“Fine, you all want to die so bad? So be it.” The raven pulled out a bag from his Joker’s coat and threw it onto the ground, it was medicine that he bought at Takemi’s clinic few hours ago, “Maybe you will all finally learn once you’ll get at least a bit hurt.”

“You’re an insensitive jerk! You are going too far!” Ann stepped forward, and placed her hand on Akira’s shoulder; forcefully turning the boy around. The raven had no time to react, as a slap landed onto his right cheek - making the mask fly off his face and shatter on the ground. Everyone held their breaths after that, even Panther herself took a step back, shocked about what she had done, and still not willing to apologize.

But what terrified her more was when Akira finally lifted up his head, and she saw two golden eyes looking back at her. The color was neon, and most likely would shine in the dark. The sudden feeling of danger that radiated towards her made her knees weakly shake, and her moves suddenly disorganized. Joker silently reached towards his cracked mask on the carpet of a ship and put it back on his face - his eyes turning back to normal immediately. Blonde rubbed her face in confusion, thinking that maybe she just imagined what she had saw.

“Are you all done letting out your steam?” Nobody said anything, nor did they look sympathetic towards him either. More like on guard, “I guess that is a ‘ _yes_ ’. We’re going home.”

None of them argued this time as they took a trip back to the real world. Haru, Yusuke, Makoto, Ann and Ryuji all gave a cold shoulder to Akira as they walked pass him - pretending not to see him. Raven stared down at the ground trying to hold back something.. something deep down in his heart from breaking.

“Akira-“ Futaba carefully walked up, but the boy stepped away.

“Can we talk later..? Sorry.” He excused himself, while gripping a backpack and leaving Morgana with the hacker alone on a dark December evening. 

-

It was the next day. Ann, Haru, Ryuji and this time Makoto also, all sat inside the student council’s office while going through some boring documents and essays that students from the Literature club had requested to be taken care of. Even though this was an extremely boring task, they agreed to help Makoto and keep her some company.

“Yo, but like- He was being a total ass!” Ryuji snapped, throwing a pack of papers that he was holding in his hand on the table. They all looked up at him.

“Careful! These are the originals, I don’t have backup copies!” Makoto warned, to which blond delinquent rubbed the back of his head in apologetic way, “But... You’re right, he was being extremely ignorant and stubborn yesterday. I wonder if there was a reason behind that which he wouldn’t share.”

“Most likely.” Haru spoke, her eyes still glued to the work in front of her, “Akira rarely tells us reasons behind his decisions. I wish that he would trust us more.” She admitted, looking sad about it.

“Definitely.” Ann agreed, “Even though I admit that I went too far with the slapping..” her voice drifted off.

“I think he needed a small punch to get his shit together!” Ryuji stood strong on his opinion, to which the rest sighed. Haru opened up a MetaNev, scrolling through the search history.

“Should we maybe go by ourselves..? Maybe we will be able to prove to him that we do have some meat on our bones.” She suggested; they all thought for a minute about the possibility and a chance to shine in front of their Leader.

“Ah..” Makoto breathed in and out, “Akira Kurusu, what are you even thinking?” The brunette’s phone buzzed, as she looked up to see a text from Akira saying: ‘ _I am almost ready for our next infiltration, I am planning to go for it in few days so make sure to prepare yourselves_ ’, “Speak of the Devil.” Makoto frowned; no, they all did the moment the MetaNav on Haru’s phone lit up and a robotic voice announced to all of them appalling news.

** Confidant found: Akira Kurusu, Devil.. Distortion is not found. Distortion is inaccessible.  **


	7. down the rabbit hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves properly debate over the subject; Akira’s mind seems to darken with deeper masochism.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS YALL R BEING TOO NICE TOO ME 
> 
> !! Check the updated tags !!
> 
> So, from this point on (starting from the next chap + ending of this chap) this fan fiction will get more disturbing. There is going to be sexual content, a lot of sadism and masochism, violence, gore, torture and etc. in the palace; keep that in mind pls!!

“Erm.. What?” Ryuji gasped, they all looked at each other with wide eyes. None of them said anything, as one by one they crawled closer to Haru’s side in order to take a peek at her phone as if to confirm what had just happened, “Did I just hear that right-? Akira Kurusu? You mean, _OUR_ Akira Kurusu? Distortion? Wait- He’s on the Nav?! As a target-?!”

“W-wait, this is most likely a misunderstanding!” Ann shook her head, not trusting her ears, “Akira is a common name-“ The blonde tried to defend or oppose with a simple argument.

“But Kurusu is not a common surname..” Haru pointed out, her face expression slowly turned into a sad frown, “Could our Leader have a _Palace_..?” She was hesitant with saying that out loud, even though they were all thinking about it.

“Dude, what?!” Blond delinquent was up on his feet, “Sure, he can sometimes be an ass but he is not as fucked up as the adults who we have dealt with!” He was shouting by now, to which Ann hit him at the back of his head.

“Can you be quiet?!” Blonde model shushed him, “A-and like, he still has a persona! This is impossible, this must be someone else!” Her face fell down, “Right..?”

“Right.. Mona-chan did say that you either have a Palace or a Persona.” Haru breathed out with a slight relief, but that was when Makoto decided to drop the bomb after some thinking.

“But.. when was the last time Akira had used Arséne...?” They all fell silent, trying to remember each one of their battles during the infiltration of Sae’s Palace, but nothing was coming up; their faces had paled once again, “Akira possesses an unusual ability to tame shadows as his personas.. could that be somehow connected?” Again, no answer. They were all thinking, meanwhile Ryuji tapped his foot against the floor in irritation.

“I.. I didn’t want to tell any of you, I thought that it was just a hallucination or me being angry but.. yesterday after I slapped Akira.. his eyes were golden once his mask fell off.” Ann confessed, the events of the previous day flashed in front of her eyes like a movie, “They looked exactly like the ones that the main shadows have. I’m not saying that he is-“

“No!” Ryuji tugged at his hair, “He is my best friend! This is impossible! This can’t be right!”

“We are not saying that he is a bad person, Ryuji, but the fact that he came up on the Nav is concerning-“ Makoto tried explaining to him again, “-also.. Akira Kurusu and the Devil.. Why these two came up together?” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Could it be that Akira is not who we think he is..?” Haru winced at how Ryuji slapped both of his hands against the table once she has said that.

“No! This can’t be him! He is no Devil, he helped us all! He is the coolest dude out there! He took down Kamoshida and saved me back then in the cell! He- he-“

“But.. The Devil is known to lie...” Ann whispered, “The Devil is someone who says nice things meanwhile covering up the true nature behind a mask.”

“Ann!” Ryuji was shocked at the way how doubt began to fill up the room excessively fast; they were so quick to jump to conclusions, “I can’t believe that you actually think-!”

“I don’t know _what_ to think, Ryuji!” Ann defended, shouting back at the boy. They both completely lost their cool by now and were mid-fighting with each other, “I know what I saw yesterday; _I know_! I know that whatever I saw yesterday was dangerous! I know it! My eyes would not lie like that to me! I felt it in my gut! I know it!”

“Well, you were seeing things! Or maybe that was one of his Personas trying to protect him!” Ryuji was not giving up, “I don’t think you understand what you are talking about!”

“Think about it! He had been acting strange - no - he _IS_ strange! You don’t know anything about him!” Ann’s eyes angrily stared at Ryuji, who still was not backing up in his position and mindset of defending his friend.

“I do! I know about him more than you!” Blond boy hissed back at her, Makoto and Haru exchanged the looks while wondering about what to do to stop this.

“Huh?! _Really_?! Then tell me! Tell me something about his life before Tokyo, his family, his previous friends!” Silence; stinging silence that made Ryuji look down, “Or even about his life _in_ Tokyo! We don’t know what he does after school on his free days, heck, we don’t even know if he _has_ any free days!”

“Ann..” Haru whispered.

“No! Don’t ‘ _Ann_ ’ me! Akira had always been strange but we ignored it because we enjoyed his company and we had personal gain from his shady connections with the whole Tokyo! But if you think about it, he DOES have a criminal record! Gets fake weapons from an ex-yakuza, massive amounts of medicine from a clinic, and- he sometimes hangs out at the red-light district! Think about it-!” Ann breathed in and out, feeling tired after such outburst of emotions. This time Ryuji was not saying anything, feeling defeated and depressed.

“Ann, Ryuji.” Makoto said in a gentle manner, “It’s true that there might be something going on behind the curtains, but I think that we should all get some rest and maybe discuss this with Morgana, Futaba and Yusuke.”

“I think so too,” Agreed Haru, “We need to especially consult with Mona-chan and Futaba-chan since they are the closest to Akira-“ Ryuji grunted at that, “ _ah_ , sorry, Ryuji.”

“It’s fine.” He shook his head, and pulled away from the wall against which he was leaning, “Where will we meet though? And how do we do that without him knowing-“

“Easy.” Makoto interrupted him, “Morgana stayed over at Futaba’s today. Akira is mostly at home nowadays, so if we choose the location far enough, he will never know.” Brunette explained; the thieves nodded already thinking of the scenarios that could possibly go down when they will reveal their discovery to the rest of the group. 

**NAV DISTORTION (don’t add akira!!)**

**Makoto** : everyone, we must meet today somewhere where akira will not be able to discover us. This is extremely important and must be kept a secret from him. 

**Futaba** : whats this about

**Futaba** : kinda shitty to keep our friend out of all of us hanging out 

**Ann** : thats not what it looks like! We have something important to say! 

**Yusuke** : Why does this groupchat has such an odd name? 

**Makoto** : I would rather not type it but say it in person

**Makoto** : this is quite an emergency 

**Makoto** : Futaba, would you be so kind to bring Morgana with yourself? 

**Futaba** : fine.. 

**Futaba** : actually 

**Futaba** : im happy we will meet up altogether 

**Futaba** : i also got some bone to pick with yall 

**Ryuji** : what? What did we do? 

**Futaba** : thats the problem - you not even knowing what u all did, or to be more precise, DIDNT do 

**Makoto** : your accusations sound serious.. 

**Yusuke** : so, where are we meeting? 

**Futaba** : aki will definitely not show up at shujin 

**Futaba** : in other places we might end up getting caught 

**Futaba** : morgana just now said that akira has been traveling around tokyo a lot

**Ann** : thats quite reckless of him..

**Makoto** : Shujin... That will be hard, but you all have sneaked in before, so this time we will be able to do so too. 

**Ann** : alright, then we don’t even have to move. Once the school is over we will be meeting up in the student council office, okay? 

**Ryuji** : gotcha 

**Yusuke** : marvelous 

**Futaba** : okie dokie 

**Haru** : alright! 

-

Yusuke was the first one to arrive out of all non-Shujin students in their group. His skin was overall pale, but due to the cold outside his cheeks were flushed with peach blush. The artist was wearing poor-looking beige coat, that barely trapped any body heat within it and his usual clothes: a white blouse with simple trousers. He looked rather relaxed for someone who was warned about a serious conversation going down, but Makoto had no power in herself to judge the boy’s attitude.

Futaba was second, while holding Morgana under her fluffy sweater that was on top of a T-shirt. The black furry head popped up from

behind the girl, and crawled onto her shoulders. The hacker pulled down the hat that Sojiro forced onto her head, and breathed out in relief once the cat’s weight was finally off her.

“You need to go on a diet, Morgana!” She pointed her finger straight at the cat who flopped himself onto one of the tables.

“You need to train more! Akira exercises before going to sleep and that’s why carrying me is easy for him!” Morgana fought back, the two hissed at each other while keeping a deadly eye contact. Ryuji could swear that he saw electric flashes pass in the air. 

“Guys, this is not important right now.” Makoto interrupted their childish fight, looking devastated. The other two swallowed down and sat back onto the available seats.

“So.. What happened, Makoto?” Yusuke decided to break the ice, as they anticipated for brunette to explain the situation.

“Today we were talking about the incident that happened yesterday-“ The student council president began; as artist sharply breathed in the air, wincing at the mention of their recent argument, “-and.. Haru had her Navigation App open, we were thinking about going into Shido’s Palace without Akira, in order to show him that we are-“

“You what?!” Futaba and Morgana said in the sync, their jaws almost dropped down onto the floor in shock. Makoto looked away from the two; she knew even beforehand that they will not take this easy. The built up was already hard to carry out.

“I-I know, I know! Please, let me finish first-“

“No! You listen!” Futaba stood up from her chair, “You will ALL die! I’m not even kidding when I’m saying that!” Yusuke and Ann opened their mouths as if preparing to say something, but the hacker continued, “What the hell can you even do without him?!” Silence, “Are you the ones who customize the weapons, personalize the effects for each person?! Perhaps you go through a risk of poisoning to reach the deal with an underground doctor?! Or maybe you are the ones who have connections with the former politician and current journalist in order to obtain good outlook on the public media!” The Phantom Thieves were not saying anything, “I know all of this only because I hacked his phone — which I know is wrong, but I _did_ have my reasons!” She quickly defended herself, “Anyway!” Futaba decided to go back to the original topic, “He did give you a try to go yesterday by yourself, but then why did you not accept?! Because you knew deep down that without his guidance or advice, you will fail!”

“That is not true!” Makoto finally had enough, “I think you give him too much credit! We chose him as a Leader because he was the first one to awake to his Persona, not counting Morgana, but-!” She got cut off with Ann’s angry voice.   
  


_ “How can someone with a Palace lead us?!”  _

The room got filled up with the dead silence; the only thing that could be heard were their heavy breaths and excessively fast heartbeats. Yusuke took a step back at the information, meanwhile Morgana and Futaba looked appalled at their friends.

“When we were talking about Akira, Haru had opened up the Nav - _as Makoto was saying before she got interrupted_ -“ Ann continued, her voice was not as loud anymore but her eyes never left Futaba that stood still in her place visibly uncomfortable, “-and the two words appeared on the search tab. Akira Kurusu- _our great Leader_ -“ she said the last part with a mocking tone, “—sees himself as the _Devil_.” The blonde held up her phone to show the proof to everyone in the room, “For the past hour I’ve been trying to find the rest of the keywords, but I have failed. We decided to call you all here, so that we can infiltrate his heart and see for ourselves what is going on in there.”

“I will not let you!” Morgana jumped on the table, his tail was swinging left and right and his paws slightly showed the claws sticking out as an automatic response of his body.

“M-morgana?” Ann blinked in surprise at the cat, “Huh?”

“Me and Futaba had known about Akira’s Palace for a long time.” The cat confessed, making everyone in the room pale at the given fact. Nobody expected such turn of events to go down, “We don’t know for how long it exactly exists, but we found it back in _August_.” 

“W-why didn’t you tell us?!” Makoto furrowed her eyebrows, feeling the sense of betrayal settle down in her stomach, “We-“

“Isn’t it obvious?!” Futaba spoke again, “Look at yourselves right now and how you are all reacting! You are all strong physically, but weak _mentally_! And we _saw_ that place, you would not manage! Heck, even now you are not managing to simply accept the fact that Akira-“

“Weak?” Yusuke looked up, he brought his palm to his nose while trying to contain himself, “None of us are weak. I was able to stand up against my own Sensei, and Makoto had courage to save her sister. You dare to call us weak?” Artist repeated himself, Futaba looked down at the floor.

“I.. I don’t know how to explain it, but... You all depend on him. Yes, you all were able to face your own demons.. But..”

“But what?” Ryuji butted in, “Tell us, Futaba. The all knowing.” He hissed at the end.

“See! That’s why me and Morgana decided not to tell any of you! Because we knew that you would react like this and always make it about yourselves!” She finally decided on the words to use, “And- And- I just- I don’t want us to go into his Palace with a mindset like _that_!”

“Why not?” Haru asked after not saying anything for a while and just processing the whole conversation.

“Because.. Look. I had a Palace, so I can tell from the personal experience what it’s like. Most of the targets that we had were like the bad adults, right? And then there was me.. I was my own distortion.” She breathed in and out; scratching her neck from nervousness, “With Akira it’s similar to me and different in a way. Like -— okay, _uhm_ , how do I explain this?!” She tugged at her hair while trying to form the sentence.

“How much do you even know about that Palace..?” Makoto asked, still hurt by the fact that Morgana and Futaba hid it away, but slowly starting to understand where the hacker and cat were coming from.

“Not a lot.” Morgana answered, while sitting back, “We just took a peek and left.”

“Y-yeah,” confirmed the hacker, “So, basically, it’s like having a mental illness, let’s say. Until the person actually decides that they want help - _how I did_ \- there will be no healthy progress. It will only make matters _worse_!” She pointed her finger up; feeling proud with her explanation.

“But the change of heart will cure him, no?” Ryuji asked, to which Morgana shook his head and whispered, ‘ _moron_ ’ under his breath; Futaba groaned.

“No! That’s not what I am trying to say! Think about it! The people who’s hearts you’ve changed did NOT become goody shoes all of a sudden - what you did was take away the distorted desire that served as a fuel, and once it poofed away - they felt bad for the crimes that they have committed and confessed! You were NOT curing these people by stealing the treasure, this ‘aint some quick shock therapy deal! This is very, _very_ serious!” The red hair breathed out and flopped onto one of the chairs, muttering something about her battery dying.

“But.. It did help you-“ Ryuji was still going, Morgana wanted to became human just so that he could face-palm himself.

“Yes it did because she was wrapped up in a delusion!” The cat explained, “Once you stole the Treasure - the delusion was gone - but we don’t know what is the deal with Akira! So this is very dangerous to just go inside his cognition and do as you wish!” They were all thinking, not knowing what to believe and what not to believe. Each side was making fair points, but-

“And what if Akira is actually evil..?” Ann asked, all eyes landed on her, “He sees himself as the Devil after all-“

“What he needs is for his friends to trust him and help him! Not doubt him like you all do!” Futaba finally had enough as she stormed out of there, Morgana tagging behind the girl without hesitation.

“When you all will finally ready to actually do something useful, let’s gather again.” Was the last thing that the cat said, as the door shut behind them with a loud, dramatic bang.

The moment the two have disappear, the memories that each one of them had with Akira flashed in their minds. The boy was not evil - at least they did not see him as evil until this point - but seemed to be like the type of person who constantly would get into unfair situations out of which he would walk out misunderstood. Now that Morgana and Futaba have confirmed their suspicions about Akira having a Palace, the Phantom Thieves could not sit and do nothing about it. Simply going to their Leader and talking things out felt wrong or.. like _too much work? Too much time? Too much bother? Too difficult?_ They weren’t sure, but it was a mutual agreement.

They had Shido’s Palace to take care of - and if Akira’s strangely demanding, ignorant and stubborn behavior was coming from the depths of him having his own Palace, then maybe once they would steal the Treasure, the raven would change for the better and make more sober decisions for the team.

Makoto leaned her hands against the table while thinking of what they should do. The brunette was smart, and understood where Morgana and Furaba were coming from with their point of view; at the same time everything depended exactly on the distortion that Akira possessed. It was probably easy for them to preach while they have seen the problem for themselves and came up with their own judgement on it. Before agreeing or disagreeing, Makoto had to see Akira Kurusu’s Palace for herself, and decide the next move.

“Futaba forgot her phone..” Ryuji noticed, as he picked it up. The device was still on and unlocked. The fact that the red hair even forgot it, said a lot about how determined she was to leave them at that moment.

“I will give it back to her on my way home.” Suggested Haru, as she stretched out her hand to take the phone, but that was when Makoto gasped.

“Wait!” Brunette grabbed the gadget, while opening the Nav. Everyone present looked confused at the girl.

“That’s rude to go through Futaba’s most personal item-“ Yusuke spoke, but Makoto interrupted him by showing the screen.

“ _Now we know Akira’s distortion._ ” 

The school council president announced, they all realized what she had looked up, and frowned at the words in the search tab that were filled in since August. 

** —————— **

** Akira Kurusu - Devil  **

** Life - Torture Chamber  **

** Begin Navigation? **

** —————— **

“Wait... Akira..” Ann’s eyes went wide, “I.. I’m so confused..”

“Shit, dude! This is crazy! What even is Torture Chamber exactly-?” Ryuji asked, staring at Makoto to give an explanation. The girl looked puzzled at everyone, as she decided to finally explain.

“A torture chamber is a room where torture is inflicted onto the victim. These were more common during the medieval times.. Back then the most common designs would be windowless rooms often built underground. People also say that they used to lit candles as the source of light and I quote, some places like these were so horrible that they could break even a person with nerves out of steel.” Once she was done explaining, Haru furrowed her eyebrows and bit down onto her folded index finger.

“Is that.. why they did not tell us?” Haru weakly spoke up, “Mentally weak.. If it is as bad as it sound.. Are we genuinely ready to face something like this? Plus.. This is Akira we are talking about-“

“Oh, right!” Ann gasped, “It’s Akira that we are talking about, so maybe he will not see us as a threat! Maybe he will want us to save him and will let us pass without much fight!” A smile spread on her face, “Futaba said that his Palace has a similar theme to hers - so he needs our help and I won’t let him end up like Shiho! Never again! I don’t want to ever again go through something like that!” The girl shook her head.

“Our Leader sees his life as a Torture Chamber.. But is he the one torturing the victims or being tortured? I am still rather confused by the Devil distortion and how that is even connected to the main point.” Yusuke spoke up, Makoto sighed.

“We won’t find out anything unless we see for ourselves.. right?” The brunette’s voice softened, “I just.. Hope that Akira is doing alright.”

“He better be or I will smack his ass to make him snap out of it!” Ryuji grinned, the atmosphere slightly lightened up between them.

“Whatever that will come our way.. We will overcome this. We should at least get a look at the place, right? Maybe we could even convince Morgana and Futaba to join us later on, no?” Haru stood up while fixing her vintage dress that she changed into right after the classes had ended.

“I’m sure we’re doing the right thing.” Makoto said her final word, as she pressed onto the button on the Nav, activating the distortion to open up in its full color. 

-

Akira was sitting on his bed while scrolling through his phone and checking out recent posts on varieties of social media. Personally, he did not have accounts on any of them, so that police would not be able to track down the activity; but he still enjoyed investing in the media and being aware of the trends that circled around.

That was when his finger stopped on one of the posts. It said in the big, fat letters: “10 signs that you need a mental break”. Just as his eyes scanned through the words, the boy let out a low scoff. He wanted to laugh at that. _Did he fall that low that now even his recommendations were full of this shit?_

He quickly clicked on the button next to the post: ‘ _Not interested_ ’, making the picture with the whole account disappear from his feed. _I don’t need help. I don’t want it. I just want everyone to understand my point of view and listen to me. Is that too much to ask for?_

His thoughts lingered back to the moment that occurred in Shido’s Palace. The raven’s hand lifted itself up as he caressed his own cheek remembering the slap from the girl and the way how she screamed into his face. He might have not shown it back then, but the act terrified him to the core. The whole scenario gave him a flashback, of some other woman who he also cared for - hitting him across the face. Ann’s hit was not as strong as the one from that memory, but the emotions were the raw part that had actually sting him.

Akira could not care less about pain. Even more - he liked it. No, he loved the pain. How he did not realize that before? Just the thought of slicing himself open and making all the nasty, annoying blood spill out onto the ground. Or maybe lightening up a lighter and pressing it towards his tongue, so that he would finally stop talking. The hopelessness in being unable to do simple things. He imagined himself drinking from the glass, but his teeth would press so hard against the surface that it would break - he would swallow the liquid together with the shards that would open up his whole throat, and make him finally take a full breath in. Or he could make the breathing even harder for himself and tie a rope with the hardest knot as possible, until there would be so little oxygen reaching his brain that he would pass out. 

He blushed at the thought of something breaking his bones; he did not care legs or arms - but the fact that he would be unable to move and would only think about the agony coating his mind. He would forget about everything and stop thinking because it would only be pain. It would hurt so much. Pain was the escape from reality. Pain was his getaway. If life was his torture chamber then why should he not just accept it already? He was meant to suffer, and it is not like this will ever stop.

_He does not need help_ , he thought, while settling down his phone and staring at him palm, all of a sudden bitting down on it with so much force and it almost immediately broke the skin under. His mouth filled up with iron taste while making his eyes roll all the way back to his skull. The pain felt marvelous, amazing, euphoric. He felt like his mind has entered heaven as for a long time there was silence in his head - no annoying thoughts or mean voices that would whisper insults to him on daily basis.

His teeth gripped onto the flesh deeper, as another electric wave of sick pleasure overtook him - making his vision go blank for a moment. His other hand gripped against the sheets in distress, meanwhile his legs curled up closer to himself. At this point Akira could feel meat through his teeth, as he finally decided to pull away with blood streaming from his mouth down his cheek onto the pillow. Raven could not care less as he laid on the bed _smiling_. 

_Was this happiness?_

The moment was gone. The pleasure left so quickly, and the only thing that stayed was pain. His eyes watered at that, and Akira almost screamed at how much all of a sudden his hand was burning and shaking. He held it steady, looking horrified at what he had done. _No! This couldn’t have been me! I don’t know what happened! Forget this happened, forget this happened, forget this happened-_

_ ‘ Aren’t you a sicko? ‘  _


	8. welcome to our torture chamber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves of Heart enter the Distortion of Akira’s heart, and find themselves running away from the insanity almost immediately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot smaller than what I originally planned- im sorry!! 
> 
> But I hope that u will like it and i wont dissapoint any of u hehe

The reality blurred into the unseen madness right in front of their eyes. From the light atmosphere of the familiar Shujin academy, the air became drenched with pure despair hanging over them. It was hard to breathe, stand, move or think - because of how suddenly hopeless their hearts felt. The stretched out real world was already way too far to clench onto as Makoto, Ann, Ryuji, Yusuke and Haru fell down onto the wet surface with the full force. None of them moved at first, they stayed still like they were trapped in a trance - but that was when a flash of light and the massive thunder not far from them made all of them gasp and look around.

They were outside of somewhere. It was a stormy night, the moon was hidden by the dark clouds and it was raining so bad that they already could feel their clothes sticking to their body like a glue, fully soaked. Makoto was the first one to stand up, and approached everyone to help them up on their feet, making sure none of them would slip and fall again.

That was when she accidentally licked her lips, and choked immediately at the liquid’s taste; wiping her whole face with a sleeve in panic. An iron sense, _this was blood._

Blood was falling right from the sky and already coated everyone in it, and they did not even come to the Palace yet. _This was rather a warm welcome_ , she thought ironically. Something in this small detail was already disturbing and made the brunette harshly swallow down her nerves at the back of the throat.

“You alright?” Ryuji asked, to which she nodded. They must have still not realized the true nature behind the rain yet, and she was not about to reveal it to them when they seemed to be quite calm and collected.

“There is a mansion there.. could that be his Palace?” Ann asked as she pointed with her finger forward; everyone looked that way in confirmation.

“Indeed. Let’s proceed.” Yusuke said in his casual speech and began to walk towards the grand, victorian styled mini-castle in the middle of nowhere.

Makoto furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She looked around once more and stopped herself to think. They were supposed to arrive into the Torture Chamber, so where was it hiding? Could it be elsewhere or underneath the mansion? Could they be already inside it and whatever they’ll do next is going to be some twisted, personalized nightmare? Was it.. safe to go further? Should they maybe retreat?

This was the Palace of the Leader of the Phantom Thieves. No doubt that the place would be expected to be filled with traps, riddles and possibly even have extremely high security functions. Without Joker’s leadership and Morgana’s plus Futaba’s support with the missions.. were they actually going to manage on their own? Could they be walking into a death trap right at this very moment? They still have a chance to pull back-

“Queen, if your worry is about the medicine and escape routes in case of an emergency, then be rest assured. I picked up the bag that Joker threw under my legs yesterday at Shido’s Palace.” Yusuke said, as he pulled out a small brown leather bag out of his inner pocket in the Fox’s costume. He decided to tie it to his waist; to have a better reach in case they would encounter an enemy.

“N-no.. I’m just not feeling super well in general.” Makoto confessed, to which an artist raised one of his eyebrows, “This place.. has very energy-draining hospitality..”

“Indeed.” Agreed Yusuke; he crossed his arms over his chest while looking back at the mansion that proudly stood in front of them. Challenging for thieves to come in.

In front of them appeared stairs that led upwards, and around they were surrounded by four columns out of hard stone that seemed to have been supporting the balcony from the second floor. The stairs were also quite high, and leading up straight to the main door that was gigantic in its size. There were two statues at the right and left of the entrance.

A small demonic figure in the body of a handsome male that was sitting down on a throne; one leg over another and his face resting against his palm meanwhile the other hand held up a wine glass - that was filled up with the blood from the rain; the massive wings were shielding the figure from the storm.

Meanwhile the other statue was a form of the demon in the female body, but unlike the other one she stood on her both feet with open arms and bat-like wings closed behind her back. The blood stream was running down from her face all over her body, washing her clean from any possible dust or dirt.

“What marvelous works of art..” pointed out Yusuke, as he did the photo-thingy with both of his hands while zooming in and out on each demon, “This place has hopeless atmosphere and I can’t help, but feel inspired by the countless representations and symbolism.”

“Eye, dude, now is not the time, you know.” Ryuji groaned in frustration; artist quickly agreed and apologized, “Ehm, we can’t go through the main entrance, right? That’s like- super suspicious. Not phantom thief like, you get me?”

“Yes, we absolutely cannot go through this door.” _Because I feel like these statues will come to life and attack us for some reason, maybe we should head back_ , “Let’s look for a different way in.”

And they did. They looked for around an hour, splitting up into two groups in order to scan an area faster. Makoto and Haru went together as group one and Ann, Yusuke, Ryuji ended up gathering as group two.

The place in general was as big as it seemed. Makoto could not say exactly how much area the mansion occupied, but it was easy to say - a lot. The building had around 4 floors up, and considering that the distortion was called a “ _torture chamber_ ” it was highly likely to have underground passages and floors. That was when idea strike her that maybe somewhere around would be a tunnel or a hole that could lead them to the mansion.

The house did have windows, but they were all shut close and made out of glass. The glass was most definitely representation of Murano nature, and had whole pieces of artwork demonstrated, giving out an aura of the religious hint. The whole place was so confusing that neither Haru or Makoto knew what to think; at the very back of the house stood the same massive door but without statues surrounding it. Maybe this was their only way in at the moment, brunette thought, as she decided to go back to the entrance where everyone decided to meet once they would be done scanning.

The walk back and forth took them around 7 minutes - if the person was walking with big steps and without stopping - so, Makoto and Haru were surprised to see that the second group still did not come back when they did; actually she was even more confused about the fact that they did not meet at the very back of the mansion next to the other door. _Could they have discovered something on the other side?_

After exchanging the looks with her partner, both girls nodded and headed to the other part of the mansion. The puddles of blood that thickened in the grass splashed everywhere each time they made a step; the wind outside was cold and merciless, trying to throw the girls away from the place but they all kept walking. A sudden sound of church bells made them both stop and look up; they had no idea where the music was coming from, but now was not the time to worry about that.

Eventually they found themselves running, panting for air - there was so little oxygen in the atmosphere, the same way how it would be high up in the mountains.

“Ann! Ryuji! Yusuke!” Shouted Makoto, whispering some inaudible curses under her breath as they finally found it. There was a massive hole in the wall and a trail of footsteps from three people heading inside, “But why didn’t they come back-“ She asked, her eyes looked up to see Haru’s pale face expression as she stared at something in front of her. Her lower lip was trembling like she was trying to say something, but eventually she lifted up her shaking index finger and pointed in front of herself.

Makoto after mentally embracing her psyche, looked ahead, and immediately felt vomit tingling at the back of her throat. In front of them opened up the way inside of the mansion.

The whole hall room was lightened up by a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The part that was absolutely disgusting were the human _intestines_ hanging over it like a decoration for a Halloween party. On the floor was lying the ripped off _skin of the tiger_ , it was still half soaked in blood and the detail that Makoto had noticed was that it smelled so, _so_ bad from every possible direction. The walls inside the place were mostly neat, except for the part where in some places there were _scratches_ so big as if a werewolf has passed around here. These scratches also seemed to move in a weird way, like they were _breathing_ , and the only thing holding them together were shining silver _stitches_ with _needles_ randomly stabbed around. There were stairs on the left, heading upstairs and to the right was a way to proceed further onto the first floor. Brunette noticed a wooden counter on the side, with multiple glass containers. 

Inside one of them was a collection of centipedes and cockroaches that were crawling all over each other; inside the second container were butterflies, some of them were flying around and hitting themselves against the walls, meanwhile others - that had ripped wings - were laying on the bottom of the bottle while life slowly left them; in the third container were eyeballs of all kinds, ranging from human to animal eyes , and the creepiest part was how they were looking up, down, left, right, up, down, left, right, left, down, left, right - _straight at Makoto_ , she took a step back feeling caught. 

_ This place was aware that they were here. _

Suddenly they heard the click of heels echo over the halls as a figure appeared before them. It was a girl, her age was around 17-18 years old and she was unimaginably beautiful. Her skin was pale as a snow, her hair was long and tied into two ponytails, but parts of her face was still covered by the long bangs. The ends of her wine red hair reached to her petite waist. On her feet rested massive metallic boots with locks and chains dangling all over them, and a fishnet covering most of her exposed body. Her upper part of the torso had a see-through dark grey shirt on, with a black lingerie under it. Her arms and hips were fully covered with white and light red lines, meanwhile her wrist had a line of stitches going all the way up to her collarbone. On her neck was a massive leather choker that had two chains going down from it - tangling together behind her back. Her hands had toxic red gloves on them that were decorated with diamonds and crystals all over it, forming in the design of a skull.

“ _Hi, weaklings!_ ” A massive grin stretched all over her face, revealing the venomous fangs inside her mouth together with a slit tongue that would be seen in snakes, “Are you perhaps looking for the rest of _Executioners_?” She asked, her voice was extremely pleasant to ears, but overly high-pitched; that was when Makoto finally snapped out of staring trance and focused on the shining golden eyes. 

_ Was that.. Akira?! _

“A-akira-“ Haru mumbled, still stunned with the whole picture. Morgana and Futaba were right. They weren’t ready. This place was scary. Horrifying. Terrific. Something was so wrong with the whole setting around here.

“Speak louder, human.” the red-haired girl said almost in a seductive way, suddenly appearing behind the rich girl and wrapping her hands around Haru while leaning in to whisper right into her ear. Noir tried to flinch away, but the Shadow locked the deadly hold without intention of letting go, “ _Pretty, little thing~_ ”

“Let go off her!” Makoto shouted, as she pulled out her gun and pointed it right at the Shadow’s head. Her hold was trembling from anxiety that was making her thoughts run all over the place. She had no idea what to do, but the opponent in front of her was not just strong, but monstrous.

The red-haired girl looked up with the calm expression resting on her face, eventually letting go off Haru and making one step closer to the gun. Makoto gasped as the muzzle of her pistol came right in contact with the girl’s forehead, who instead of being afraid looked eager.. _and was madly blushing while furrowing her eyebrows?_

“ _A-ah.._ ” she moaned; that was when both Haru and Makoto blinked in surprise at the weird and unusual behavior, “Gosh.. I _love_ to play the Russian roulette.. But.. _A-ahh.._ Having someone else point the gun at me is so.. _intriguing.. I am so used to this abuse._.” The girl giggled evilly, while covering her mouth with one of her hands. The slits in her eyes suddenly became sharp, as her red gloves were ripped by massive claws that destroyed the gun in a mere-second; none of them even had time to blink, “You’ve got some toys with yourself, huh?” The Shadow pointed out, while stepping back, “The rest of Executioners are at the main entrance~” she bowed as she stepped back into the mansion.

On her way out, she opened the glass contained with the eyeballs in it and stabbed one of them on her claw; then after closing it with the lid she put the eye right in between her lips and looked back at Makoto and Haru who were frozen from horror. The Shadow seemed to be pleased with their reactions as it swallowed the whole eyeballs and whispered.

_ ‘Stupidity kills.’  _

She waved her hand in the air in dismissing motion and ran upstairs, with her boots loudly banging against the floor. The moment she was away Makoto let out a breath that she was holding, meanwhile Haru fell down onto her knees - her eyes were running all over the place and she began clutching at her shirt, unable to take a proper breath in.

The moment brunette noticed that, she dropped right next to Haru and gently touched her shoulder, “Haru! Haru! Listen to my voice and breathe together with me, okay? In-“ she inhaled, Haru repeated, “-and out-“ she exhaled, “-In and out, in and out.”

After a minute of both of them calming down, they closed their eyes; not leaving each others side. Too scared.

“W-was that Akira?” Haru asked with a shaking voice, still not believing what just happened a moment ago.

“Most likely..” Answered Makoto, while shaking her head, “And.. I don’t understand so many things- This is all so confusing!” She groaned in frustration, as both of them began to stand up and slowly walk towards the main entrance from where they originally came from.

The rest of the Phantom Thieves stood together, looking around and gasped at seeing the two girls coming back to them. They happily waved and ran up to Makoto and Haru, seeming completely relaxed.

“There you are! We were getting worried!” Ann hugged Makoto, who shuddered. _Why were they so calm?_ “We went inside the mansion because Skull was an idiot and decided to use his Persona to break the wall-“

“Hey! That was the only way in-!” Ryuji defended immediately, feeling a kick at his personal ego.

“-so, we walked inside! The place was super nice, pretty and neat! Even more, we found many treasure chests with useful stuff inside and sweet treats on the table that recover SP! I knew that Joker would never be harsh on us!” The blonde smiled, but Makoto only shook her head in disbelief. _What was the meaning of this?_

“You.. You didn’t see the girl with red hair?” Haru asked, also looking frightened as it is.

“A girl with red hair?” Yusuke re-asked, humming while thinking, “Nothing of that sort is coming up in my memory.”

“Same.” Ryuji and Ann said at the same time.

“Anyway, where have you been for so long anyway?” Questioned the blonde model.

“We-“ but she got cut off with a thunder, that completely blinded their eyes in shock and the next time they looked up there was the Shadow standing in front of them once again.

“ _Hey~_ ” 

She hugged herself in a weird way, while looking at the Phantom Thieves with some type of attraction in her eyes, “Executioners in all their might and power!” Everyone immediately tensed and stood in their fighting position, while gripping their cold weapons in their hold.

_“Welcome to the Torture Chamber of the Master and the Devil!”_   


The thunder strike once again, making their ears go deaf and numb from their senses after being startled.

The next time they snapped out of the trance everything was filled with a loud, evil, obsessive laughter. It sounded almost like a hysterical, psychotic cry from the depths of the soul.

“What in the-“ All of their eyes widened in shock, as they could not look away from the demon Shadow in front of them.

“Why are you here?!” She asked, her eyes light up in the dark with yellow; Ann recognized this look from the day before on Akira’s face and gasped, “To hurt me perhaps? _You think you can wound me? Don’t make me laugh!”_

“We are here to steal your damn treasure and fix this heart of yours!” Ryuji answered to the Shadow, making the smile immediately vanish from her face as she looked at them more serious than ever before.

“Steal Master‘s  treasure?” She repeated, her voice trailed off to the sound of the rain, “Ha!” She laughed, grabbing her stomach while scratching it slightly with her claws, “ ** _You think we will let you?!_** ” The Shadow began laughing all over again as if their existence was under her foot that she’d crush at any given moment, “ **WE SUFFER AND PAY FOR YOUR MISTAKES WITH PAIN, YOU, DISRESPECTFUL AND UNGRATEFUL TRASH OF A HUMAN! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE STRONG FOR PROTECTING YOU!** ”

“S-shut up!” Ryuji shouted, compared to her his voice sounded so little, more like a squeak of a rabbit in front of the hungry, growling wolf.

“Deep down, Akira, you want us to save you, don’t you?!” Ann screamed, hoping for a good answer to come out, but the Shadow only let out a groan of dissatisfaction.

“ **We don’t need your help! We don’t need saving! We don’t need you here!** ” The demon shouted back, almost seeming offended, “ _Lowly humans should just accept how much the Master sacrifices for them and listen to Master’s word! You are Executioners meant to execute my every will and command! Master lets you do as you please but **DON’T YOU DARE TRY AND STEAL THE TREASURE, FUCKING PETS!**_ ”

The moment she said that, she brought her claws and cut her wrist open - the blood splashed everywhere and dropped onto the ground, forming a pentagram. That was the moment when the bloodlusting rain stopped, and the drawing shined through grass.

“ **Summoning a shadow with blood sacrifice! Dionysus!** ” Suddenly a figure appeared from a thin air and before them stood a high-level shadow with a male body type. It’s skin color wondered from green, to yellow to blue and it had a velvet coat resting on it’s shoulders, “You are so below me, that you don’t even deserve to fight me, weaklings! Stupid, dumb children that were raised in warmth of their parents!”

“Shit! What is this Shadow, I have never seem it before!” Panicked Ryuji, already shielding himself from an upcoming attack.

“Me neither!” Ann gasped, trying to use a sleeping spell on it, but Dionysus dodged, “I missed?!”

“Do not panic!” Yusuke shouted, “We can get through this, Joker-“ _but Joker was not here. They were here alone, without their leader who somehow always knew what to do._ “Ugh!” 

“We need to find it’s weakness!” Haru suggested, while striking with psychokinesis, but Shadow only inherited it.

“Shit, Haru!” Angrily scoffed Ryuji, while attacking it with an Electric attack - but it reflected back at him; the scream of pain escaped from his lungs as he lost almost half of his HP. Shocked blonde kneeled down to heal her friend, but that was when Dionysus attacked with snow - making Ann stumble back and freeze in her place.

The situation was already hopeless, as they were fighting - Makoto caught a glimpse of Akira’s shadow sewing together the cut and healing it with a magic spell - only leaving a faint white line on the skin among hundreds of others. They were not prepared enough, she realized, her eyes looking back at the others moaning in pain from the merciless Shadow’s attacks.

“Guys! We have to run with Goho-M! Now!” Makoto shouted at them, and without a complaint they all nodded as Yusuke opened up the bag wrapped around his waist and threw it onto the ground - teleporting them back into the field far away from the battlefield in front of the mansion.

Without waiting brunette pulled out her phone and pressed on the Nav - throwing them all back into the student council room inside Shujin.

Their clothes were back to normal now, but still roughed up from the whole experience. Their faces were pale and the sweat was dripping down from their foreheads, meanwhile they all breathed deeply for air that was also back to normal. None of them could stand on their legs - they had to lean against something; instead the teenagers just gave up on trying and fell onto the hard floor one by one. None of them were saying anything as they tried to calm down from the nightmare that they managed to escape - if Joker yesterday would not have thrown that bag towards them.. _would they even be alive at the moment?_

“That was..” Ann whispered, her voice too weak to speak.

“Monstrous.” Yusuke finished, while catching his breath and looking down at the clock, “We’ve spent in that distortion such a short amount of time.. Only 40 minutes.” He noticed; all of their jaws almost dropped down.

“40 minutes?! That felt like hours!” Ryuji shouted in shock, to which the rest nodded.

“We didn’t even manage to get inside..” Makoto pointed out.

“Also, who does he think he is?!” Ryuji continued, ignoring what brunette just said, “Executioners?! Listen to what he says?! Do whatever he wants?! We are not some toys for him to play with and command around!”

“That’s right.. I can’t believe that Akira was actually so far gone.. This is different from Shiho and Futaba.. This.. This was **_sick_**.” Ann said, her eyes closing as they swelled up with tears. They were all sitting there pitying themselves; because just from seeing that place and going through such events could as well end up developing into a trauma.

“Could Akira be.. mentally ill? The example that Futaba-chan brought up earlier was way too specific..” Haru wondered, “Me and Makoto saw the real inside of the mansion.. the blood, organs and.. the Shadow..”

“For the first time in ever, I genuinely don’t know what to do and what to think of our Leader.” Confessed Makoto, as they stayed there for a little while longer, eventually heading towards each other’s homes in silence.

_ They had a lot of thinking to do.  _

-

The next day came fast, and Akira had asked for them all to meet up in Leblanc after the end of their school day. With the hesitance from the other day, the rest of the Phantom Thieves eventually agreed and were now sitting around the table in a closed Café with their Leader calm as a snow explaining the plan of future events. 

“I’ve gathered better guns and knives from Iwai’s shop, especially protections that cover up the weak places of each and one of you.” Akira said, while laying everything down on the table; Morgana was resting on his lap meanwhile Sojiro rolled his eyes, whispering ‘brats’ on his way to the kitchen to do the dishes.

“That’s so cool!!” Futaba gasped, already grabbing everything into her hands and looking the items from the bottom to top, “Where’d you get the money for these babies?!” 

“Oh, I had to stay extra late yesterday in Mementos in order to gather up enough savings.” Akira weakly smiled, feeling shy at the confession.

“You went to Mementos by yourself? Again?” Ryuji asked, but sounded more like he was interrogating the raven. Akira blinked in surprised at the blond’s angry voice and slowly nodded.

“None of you were answering the texts yesterday so I decided..”

“And who’s fault do you think that is?!” Ryuji snapped, to which Morgana had finally woken up and hissed in a threatening way at the other.

“Sorry, Akira, Ryuji just had a very bad day at school.” Ann laughed it off, while kicking the boy under the table with her leg which made him let out a weak ‘ouch’ that everyone ignored.

“O-oh, alright.” Raven looked down a bit confused, “Well, I analyzed the map of Shido’s Palace and thought of possible locations of Will Seeds, I marked them with a red pencil here and here. I suspect that they are going to be guarded with very strong shadows, so I suggest for us today to go into Mementos to complete some target hunt and collect experience points.” He announced, while sighing heavily.

“And why should we listen to you? Because you think that you can control us? Keep us under?!” Ryuji blew up again, “I want for us to go into the Palace! You heart me?!” He slapped his hands against the table; Akira’s eyes shrieked in pure shock at the sudden shouting. He flinched back, scared, and looked at his friend with fear crossing his face.

“Hey, kid!” Sojiro interrupted them, “If you disagree it’s fine; but no need to shout. Just a week ago Akira had a concussion and was barely able to move up from the bed.” The older man reminded him, but what next came out of the blond’s mouth made the raven go pale. 

_ “Well, maybe he deserved what happened to him.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So I am not here to defend the Phantom Thieves (excluding Morgana and Futaba) bcs what they are going to do and the hurtful things that they’ve said to akira in no way can be excused but i feel like i gotta explain this a bit
> 
> They think Akira is actually evil. They think (bcs of what shadow said) that he sees them as tools for fighting and they should just obey him. Since the Palace did not appear similar to Futaba’s how they expected - their conclusions quickly jumped to thinking badly of the Leader.
> 
> That is why Morgana and Futaba kept quiet about the Palace bcs they knew that the other thieves were going to be deceived almost immediately


	9. he’s got demon eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves of heart go into Mementos, where something unexpected happens to their Leader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo  
> 1) A bit of explaining parts of the palace  
> 2) Some makoto and futaba pov  
> 3) aye 5k+ chapter which aint much but for me thats an achievement hehe  
> 4) a friend told me that if u r a protagonist in my story U R VERY UNLUCKY HAHA  
> 5) i didnt check for typos bcs im tireddddd i will edit through the whole story once im done with it :D 
> 
> Anyway, thank u sm for comments ;-; yall make me sob from happiness daily ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Akira’s mind went blank for a moment. The thing was that he knew Ryuji was implying that raven deserved whatever had happened to him in the interrogation room, but for some reason he took this wrong.

_ No. What happened to me. The things that happened to me. No. No. No. I won’t remember. You won’t make me remember. I don’t want to remember no matter what. _

“Ah.” He breathed out; nobody was saying anything as they waited for Akira to react while watching his every move, “That’s one way to look at it.” He stretched out a smile, “Technically, I did deserve what happened since I am a criminal who manipulated people into changing their psyche and forcing them to confess about their crimes, by making them feel so guilty that some of them even wished for death penalty. So, maybe taking a slight bit of abuse from the police was a little price to pay if that meant to clean the hearts of rotten adults.”

“Kid, you’re too..” Sojiro sighed, not even knowing what to say. He was stunned at the way how easily Akira twisted around the situation and came out of it cold as ice. Invincible; at least that was how it showed up, “Anyway, I do not wish to hear anything like this to be ever said again or I will ban you from this place. Apologize, brat.” The older man set the coffee cup down next to the raven, Ryuji looked hesitant at first, but after feeling the stares of many friends frying holes into him - he eventually gave in.

“I’m sorry..” he whispered, to which Akira only smiled and waved his hand, ease spreading in his face expression.

“It’s alright, I know that sometimes emotions can overtake you and make you say things that you might later on regret. I have complete understanding of that, I just hope that you feel better now.”  
  


_ ‘ I hope that will put you back in your place. ‘  _

Makoto was watching the scene go down with stunned eyes; the flashback of a female Shadow from yesterday appeared in front of her eyes. Her way of acting was so different from the person in front of them. Akira Kurusu was collected, cold, understanding. He definitely always acted in the favor of the Phantom Thieves and due to his thinking abilities easily took the Leader position. Even if something would hurt him, the only time brunette saw him snap was at Shido’s Palace. 

But that demon Shadow was aggressive, unstable and reckless. If Akira would think ten times before taking his step; that demon would jump forward into a fight. Could it be that the female Shadow that they saw yesterday was simply their Leader’s suppressed and bottled up negative emotions? That would explain a lot. But how strong and how much had to be pushed down.. For it to form into a different part of you? M

Rejected side of yourself. 

The mansion had an ability to change - going from normal into psychotic trance; what had to be done to see the real house was not to break the hole in the wall, but to come back to the so-said hole. Technically, the sub-massage behind this was not to just walk in straight ahead, but to come back again and analyze the surroundings. 

Akira as a person was extremely good at blending in and shaping his personality in order to fit into their company - it was just how Yusuke had said few days ago - they did not know Akira as a person, but they knew his mask. The “ _masked house_ ” gave out treasure chests and sweets, because that would be something that the Phantom Thieves would be happy to find; but the moment another side got discovered came out one of the Shadows, almost as if to prevent them from going in further. 

In conclusion, that Demon version was most likely not him. 

The distortion also had a lot of religious content included within - the hints were the church bells, demon statues, and of course, the glass compositions of each window in the mansion. _Was Akira religious?_ Makoto wondered, but she did not know. _Maybe_ , she could ask him later about that. 

The fact that the building had around 4 floors was also interesting. In the Bible the number 4 was the symbolism of creation, since there are 4 seasons: Winter, Spring, Autumn and Summer. But, when her and Haru peeked inside, there was no specific seasonal representation. Number 4 could mean anything: the Lunar phases, the elements, the world directions or the Archangel’s energies. 

Since the distortion was originally called a “ _torture chamber_ ”, there were high chances of an actual Treasure being there - meaning that it was either hidden underground or it was kept on the fourth floor. 

There was one more thing that worried Makoto. The demon shadow was a _female_. Sure, if Akira viewed himself as a woman deep down, she would have no problem with that, but seeing how much symbolism had contained the Palace, this brought on another thoughts and theories. 

The Shadow kept saying “ _we_ ”, in terms of multiple, so the stakes of a second main shadow existing were extremely high. _Okay, let’s imagine that somewhere in the depths of the distortion was hidden another alter ego of Akira._

Next to the entrance door there were two statues. The woman who took the rain and let it slide all over her body; and the man who hid himself away while still taking the gain from it by filling up the glass. Exactly. Sounds like the Akira that they know and the psychotic demon that guards the place. 

Makoto decided to stick to that theory for now. If Akira saw himself as the Devil - how it was revealed by the Nav, then most likely the reason why his another demonic “ _me_ ” was a female was again connected to a religious symbolism. 

Perhaps that would have something to do with Lilith or Eve, who were the first two rebels to stand up against God and follow Lucifer. What was weird is the fact that Akira would even have two Shadows, but if they would investigate more and infiltrate the Palace further, then they would find out the reason behind that for sure. 

“Don’t you agree, Makoto?” The girl blinked in confusion, looking up to see raven staring right into her eyes; he knew something was going on. This man was a lot more dangerous than what she had realized, but she could feel it - the way how he was reading her. 

“I apologize for zoning out-“ Makoto furrowed her eyebrows, “-would you mind repeating that again?” She asked politely, to which the boy nodded. 

“Ah, alright. Ryuji wanted to go into the Palace today, but the thing is that I don’t think some of you are strong enough to handle the Shadows in there, I hope I don’t sound too rude.” He quickly apologized, “So, my proposition for today was to handle Mementos requests from the Phan-site and gain more experience. This way I will be less worried about any of you getting ambushed or us wasting Goho-M for nothing.” He finished, “I need your opinion on this, Makoto, since we have encountered few disagreements in the past and I think that it would be unfair for me to decide for all of us alone yet again.” 

Brunette had never felt this way before; but the sudden realization of how blind she had been stunned her. So that was what Futaba and Morgana were talking about, and the reason why they seemed to treasure him so much. 

How she did not see something as obvious as this before? _Akira does not need them._ The raven was strong enough to go into Mementos by himself whenever he wanted; he even mentioned that so many times but how did that never actually registered? 

The reason how he knew that Shido’s Palace had Shadows that were stronger than some Phantom Thieves, was because he had already went there all by himself, and was able to stay alive and even fight. Remind you, with the fact that they took away his bag of medicine. 

Even inside his own Palace, in order to scare off the Thieves, the summoned Shadow was strong and knew attacks that had colossal damage - which meant that Futaba was not lying when she said, “ _What can you even do without him?”_

If Akira simply saw them as tools, then he would have made them work harder or would leave them behind by now, but no, he didn’t. He was ready to go in the slow pace and even preform “ _sacrifices_ ” for them.. No, she does not know. She genuinely has no idea what Akira actually was thinking and what were his true motives. She was curious about.. what exactly was the boy’s distorted desire? Could it have been _power? Fame? Greed? Maybe.. Rage at them?_

“I agree with you, Akira.” The girl smiled, as she stood up, “Should we head right away?” 

“S-sure..” Ann said, while following behind Makoto.

Makoto had a lot of time to think and she simply could not help but wonder when she would go back into their Leader’s Palace. She was so curious to see more of what there was inside; but before that, they had to maybe get stronger, and be more prepared. Perhaps, next time they would enter a distortion it would be good to constantly stay hidden in the dark and avoid fighting at all cost. 

-

Even though Akira acted like Ryuji’s words did not hurt him, he could not help but play them over and over in his head like a broken record as they headed towards the Station in Shibuya to enter the Mementos. 

He could not remember much from when he was getting interrogated to the moments when he was excessively sick while trying to recover; but the fact itself that his friend did not care about that part where he was suffering in agonic pain, and thought that Akira deserved it.. was.. _not nice._

Even more, he knew that he might have excused Ryuji by saying that most likely this insult was spat out in anger.. _but Ryuji did mean it._ Because there was no regret that followed, and the rest of his friends forced him to apologize. 

This was not the type of pain that part of Akira had enjoyed, no, this feeling that crawled from his chest down to his stomach was unpleasant. This type of pain made him _want_ to experience _physical pain_ in order to _numb_ the senses and forget that anything like that had ever happened. Bury it deep down and suppress it until it _dies_. 

“Maybe we should get some food on our way?” Akira suggested; they all stopped and looked back at him. There was some bit of annoyance in everyone’s eyes except Makoto’s, Futaba’s and Morgana’s. 

“Not hungry, man.” Ryuji answered, as he proceeded to walk. 

“I.. I ate enough at Leblanc.” Ann replied, tagging behind the delinquent boy. 

“Ah.. alright.” Akira answered, feeling down all of a sudden again. He thought food would cheer him up. 

Now that he thought about it; when even was the last time that he had ate anything? He had no idea. His stomach was hurting quite a lot though, twisting in turning knots - telling him that he had to eat something instead of filling up his hunger with constant cups of coffee, energy drinks and Takemi’s medicine. 

He had been drinking a lot of cans of Monster and Red Bull recently, in order to keep himself up on his feet. Akira had been sleeping like a cat; most of the day he laid in bed stuck thinking. When he would do that for too long, the urge to cut would creep back at him and lead him to the bathroom. He would open up the cabinet and then pull out the blade that was hidden behind the toilet. 

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten._. No space left. He would scoff in irritation and roll up his other part of his pants. _One, two, three, four- ah,_ this was enough. He did not even bother to treat himself at this point, just waited for the bleeding to stop and wash it with water at the end, while walking out to meet Sojiro’s oblivious eyes. 

Maybe he was depressed, Akira wondered, but it was not like it will ever get into his head. He was fine. So what if he hurts himself daily? That does not make him dangerous to society nor dangerous to himself. 

_He was just coping, what was so bad in that? Yes, he does not need help. Everyone should just keep distance. Stay away._

He would never want anyone to see this rotten part within. 

-

They were all standing in Mementos now, dressed in their Phantom Thieves outfits. Akira looked over them and pulled out a small notebook from his inner pocket of a jacket while flipping the pages. On each one of them he had sketches of everyone’s Personas and their attacks, the amount of damage they inflict and weaknesses. Akira was planning for them to stay in here for a while, so he had to make sure that he chose the best fit for today’s travel. 

“Mona, Skull and Fox, would you please come with me?” He asked, as he shut his notebook and put it back into his inner pocket. 

He needed Morgana to act as a healing support; Ryuji because a lot of targets were weak to Electricity and Yusuke because he possessed strong physical attacks. The cat nodded and stepped forward, but the other two hesitated. They exchanged the look between each other, and then glared up at their Leader eventually mumbling ‘ _fine_ ’ under their breaths and stepping forward. 

_ ‘ See? They hate you, demon. ‘  _

Akira swallowed down, and decided to ignore the odd behavior that his friends were showing. Once Morgana had transformed into the bus, they all crawled inside and let Makoto be the one to drive today. Ann was seated at the passenger’s seat; Haru, Ryuji and Yusuke were all scooped up at the very back - meanwhile Akira and Futaba sat in the middle.

_ ‘ They are avoiding you. Soon Futaba and Morgana will leave you too. ‘  _

“We’re here!” He heard Morgana shout, snapping him back out of his thoughts and looking around at the zoomed in distortion, “Our target is ahead, Joker! Are we ready to proceed?” He asked, to which raven nodded while dripping his knife and jumping into the battlefield. 

It was the Shadow of a depressed mother that wanted to abandon her children and just end it all already. The request that they saw on the Phan-Site was from her four-year-old daughter begging Phantom Thieves to help her mom get better. Something did not sit right with this task in Akira’s gut. The way how the Shadow was talking and acting; how she was ready to leave everyone behind and did not see them as enough inspiration to stay. The raven bit down on his lower lip and looked down. Something was playing in his head; like a memory but in a live-photo effect, from a third-person’s perspective. 

** ————— **

_ “Every single day I regret giving birth to you.” The woman said, as she put down an empty bottle of recently finished beer. She had long red hair and pale skin. Her body was extremely skinny; her bones looked like they could rip her skin apart; her eyes carried massive eye-bags and her lips had a grey-ish color in them, “You demon child.”  _

_ “I’m sorry..” that was little boy’s voice.  _

_ “I should have aborted you. I knew you were not my husband’s.. so why did I keep you?” The woman said, while picking up a cigarette from an ash tray and breathing in the smoke, “Hm? Do you know why?” She asked again, her red locks of hair fell down to cover up some bruised parts of her face.  _

_ “N-no..”  _

_ “Because God told me to keep you.” She answered, “So, I thought that you were going to be good. But no, you’re a bad child. Demon child.” Her lips were barely opening as she kept talking, her stare was glued to the TV behind her son. _

** —————— **

Akira gripped his head with his hands as a sudden wave of pain hit him. His temples were pulsing, and suddenly his body felt too hot. He took a deep breath in; his legs stumbled one step back; and big breath out. Raven’s vision was going from blurry into a normal one in mere of seconds, making him lose any focus that he had before. 

“Joker?!” Morgana finally had noticed that something was not right with their Leader, and that was when they all looked back at him, “Joker, did she inflict you with something? Can you hear me, Joker?” The cat would not calm down, so Akira inhaled and exhaled once again, stretching out a smile. 

“I’m fine, I guess Mementos just suddenly overwhelmed me.” He excused himself, “Let’s focus on the fight, alright?” For a moment none of them said anything, but Morgana sighed and nodded - going back to his fighting position.

The Shadow soon presented itself in its full form and began attacking. Everything was going fine for the time being, but Akira simply could not focus on the battle at all. Ryuji and Yusuke kept giving him a silent treatment and do the tasks that he ordered with the spite of anger; not even looking at him through the whole battle. 

** I HATE MY CHILDREN ANYWAY!  **

The raven bit down on his lower lip, he needed pain to focus. To he grit his teeth further; his eyes immediately watered as it hurt a lot, but he kept sinking his teeth deeper into the flesh, eventually making it bleed right into his own mouth. The taste of iron was like a signal for his brain to act. Stay awake. 

** I DON’T WANT THEM! **

Akira winced at the words that again seemed way too familiar than what he wished, as he told Yusuke to attack and for Ryuji to guard so that the Shadow won’t knock him out by using a wind attack. Focus, focus, focus! You’re in the middle of a battle! Morgana was now mostly acting by himself and simply healing everyone, but he did not complain. 

**I SHOULD HAVE NEVER GIVEN BIRTH TO THEM!**

The boy gasped, as something in his head loudly cracked - it sounded like a glass breaking. Everything around him did not matter all of a sudden; the only thing that was important was to make her shut up. _Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!!! **SHUT UP!**_

Akira had been acting strange right from the beginning of the battle, they all seemed to notice that. But that was when something unexpected happened that none of them had seen coming - Futaba looked down at her laptop to see that their Leader’s reading all of a sudden turned from green ( _which meant an ally_ ) into red ( _a high-level enemy_ ); her eyes blinked in shock, because whenever someone would be brainwashed their reading turned purple, but never red. 

The girl immediately looked up, and jumped up from her place running towards the boy while panting. She heard his scream, “ _PERSONA_!” with a threatening tone as he was casting an attack higher than colossal damage! If he would do that, then Shadow would die and it would cause a mental shutdown! 

_ What was he thinking?!  _

“Joker!” She shouted, but that did not stop him as he aimed his attack right at his opponent; even his mask of a rebel could not contain the shining golden eyes that peeked through his noir locks of hair and deadly aura.

Futaba acted without thinking much, and jumped right at the boy while knocking him out of his feet; making him hit his head hard against the ground. The boy sharply gasped in shock and grunted under her, but the hacker pushed him down with both of her hands keeping him under.  
  


_Akira will not hurt me_ , she thought, _since he does not see me as an Executioner._

The attack missed, and hit the ceiling instead - making a crack spread on the wall, but it quickly stopped. Everyone looked appalled at whatever just happened.

“Queen, take over the command! Panther, put Joker to sleep!” Futaba shouted at the two girls who froze in their place; saying their names most likely brought them back and quick into action. 

“N-no, wait-!” Akira was trying to protest, as suddenly bubbles of sleeping spell danced around him and his face expression fell together with a will to fight. His eyes rolled to the back of his skull and his hand let go off the dagger that he was holding just a moment ago. The Persona that he was using began to slowly washing into the thin air, together with the raven’s consciousness, “Wait...” and he was asleep. 

Once Futaba was sure of that, she sighed out in relief and brought herself up; off Joker’s sleeping figure. Makoto, Ryuji and Yusuke by that time had knocked down the Shadow as it was standing on its knees pleading for mercy. 

“Make sure to come back to your kids ‘n love ‘em!” Ryuji said to her, “Live for them, goddamit!” 

“You’re absolutely right..” answered back the defeated shadow, as her eyes landed on Joker, “Tell him that I am sorry.” 

“Huh?” Blond delinquent blinked in surprise and rose his eyebrows, but he had no time to question any further as the figure disappeared and only a Treasure was left behind.

-

They were on the highest floor now, standing right next to the exit with Akira lying on the floor. His head rested on Futaba’s lap and Morgana under his hand. Ann had told them that the spell should wear off soon, so they decided to wait. Nobody wanted to get stopped outside in the real world by the police and get questioned about why their supposedly dead friend was actually sleeping in their arms. Plus, the raven was quite heavy and not many were willing to carry him at the moment. 

“We are not going to ignore what happened, are we?” Ryuji groaned, to which the rest sighed. 

“What was that attack anyway, I’ve never seen anything that strong before..” Said Ann, as she sat down on the floor; tired of standing around. 

“Our Leader truly has an excessive power, but I wonder what could have triggered such a splash of rage. Could something be happening in his Palace?” Yusuke suggested, and that was when Futaba finally lifted up her head.

“You went there, didn’t you?!” She asked, her eyes sparkling with anger, “You just-“ 

“We had to know, Oracle!” Ann spoke back, trying to defend their actions, “How do you think we feel?!” 

“It’s always about you and how you feel! Have you thought at least _ONCE_ about Joker’s _wellbeing_! _ONCE_ be an actual decent friend-“

“We saw that place, Oracle.” Ryuji spoke up, “He sees us as some obedient pets! That’s what his Shadow said! That demon called us Executioners and that we are meant to obey her every will!” Morgana jumped up, “And you know why I was so angry?! Because that reminded me of that bastard Kamoshida! That dickhead who used students and the volleyball team to climb up the ladder of his twisted wishes!”

“I agree with Skull.. In that moment an image of my Sensei popped into my mind. He viewed us as tools for his success.” Yusuke shrugged his shoulders and signed.

“See?! Have you thought how we would feel to find out that our Leader is no different-“

“He is! Because the demon who said that is not his Shadow but only a cognition!” Morgana finally decided to speak, after hearing enough of the talk, “Since it’s Skull we are talking about, I am not surprised that he was deceived so easily. That being is a _cognition_ of someone who Joker knows, me and Oracle do not know this person. The anger that feeds her though, is simply how he views that person, plus, his own mixed suppressed feelings are like a fuel. That is why she appeared on such a high danger level as the Palace Ruler.” The cat explained, looking back at Joker with a strange pout on his furry face, “She looks a lot like him, so we are suspecting that it is a family member.”

“Then why was she dressed so- _sexually_?” Ann asked carefully, to which Futaba scoffed.

“Her outfit does _not_ mean that he is perhaps attracted to her in that way, you guys are so gross! It could mean many things: ranging from him seeing her in that outfit during a traumatic event or maybe.. Something to do with.. How she was..” her voice drifted away.

“Now do you get why we told you all to stay away from that Palace? It’s extremely personal, and very connected to Joker’s wellbeing. Any wrong move can impact him drastically.” Morgana spoke, as he came back to sit closer to still sleeping Akira, “Plus, if you will die in there - he will never forgive himself.”

“Isn’t that is exactly why we should infiltrate that Palace?” Makoto asked, everyone looked at her, “Before you say anything, think about it. Palace is a manifestation of distorted desires, so, that means that there is some strong desire that is partially ruining Joker’s life-“

“Not certainly.” Morgana interrupted her, but got ignored by the brunette.

“-and if we will steal the Treasure, then situations like these will never happen again. Imagine if this was a final battle with Shido, and not a target in Mementos. What would we do then?”

“But-“

“And we can’t risk failure, Oracle. We will go in there wether you like it or no, and as you have said if we will die there - he won’t be able to handle it. But with you two will join, we will be able not just help Joker, but finally understand him.”

Makoto was convincing. Maybe that was because both parties were right. There were so many ways that this could go. There were negatives and positives, and eventually the risk would always be there. They had to do something about this.

“Fine, but.. I am going along only so that none of you will die.” Futaba sighed, to which Morgana looked up shocked, “Mona, if they die there.. they left us no choice!” The cat looked down, thinking about something as his tail swing left and right in distress.

“Fine, but if you will leave him when he will need you the most, I won’t forgive any of you.” Morgana said towards Yusuke, Ryuji, Ann, Haru and Makoto, “You are all old enough to grow up by now and understand that your actions will have consequences.”

“We understand, Mona.” Makoto smiled, feeling like a stone fell off her heart.

Akira shifted in his sleep, slowly coming back to his senses and trying to open his heavy like stone eyes. His eyelids felt like they were glued together, meanwhile his body was pressed hard against the ground. After a moment he realized that someone was gently stroking his hair and leaned into the touch, it was a warm hand - not dangerous. He wanted to go back to sleep, but that was went his heart sank low at hearing the next sentence.

“So.. I guess our leader in this mission is going to be Queen?” Haru asked, also feeling slightly more cheerful than before; brunette blushed immediately.

“N-no, I can’t, I’m-“

“You can do it, Queen! You’d be a great leader!” Ryuji put a hand over Makoto’s shoulder in a bro-like hug, and showed her thumbs up.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, but you are so smart and strong that it’s obvious you’d fit better than anyone for this role.” Ann spoke up, which was followed up by humming Yusuke.

_ ‘ You failed. ‘  _

He used to be good at one thing, and that was sacrificing everything to be a decent Leader. Of course his friends would never allow him to make mistakes how he had done just now, so now Makoto was going to replace him. He was curious about when and how were they going to tell him. Especially the mission that they were going on about.. So they already had plans behind his back. Actually, why was he surprised? That as well might just be a payback for him training by himself in Mementos and other Palaces. But.. he wanted to be strong in order to protect them-

_ ‘ Excuses. Constant excuses. ‘  _

Akira grunted, making everyone gasp and look down at his form. Futaba’s hands immediately stopped as she looked down with a smile. As his eyes opened he scrunched up his nose due to a stabbing light everywhere around him.

“Well, I guess it’s time to go home, no?” Ryuji spoke up, his mood was a lot better than the last time when Akira was awake.   
  


_ ‘ Did it made him feel better that.. I was knocked out..? ‘  _

“Y-yeah. I apologize for what happened.” Akira groaned, as he leaned his hand against the hard floor and slowly got up on his legs with Futaba’s help, “Let’s go home.” 

-

When Akira was at Leblanc; he realized that he could not sleep. Morgana was quietly laying in his bed curled up into a ball, meanwhile his thoughts were pacing around like a rollercoaster. The boy eventually stood up; careful not to wake up the cat and sat down on the chair that was next to his working table. 

The motion was automatic, he picked up the pen and a piece of paper from somewhere and began sketching everything out. All his imaginations, instructive thoughts, masochistic idolizations and depressive episodes, were pouring out in his gentle hand movements. 

_ ‘ Damn brat, I’ll sue! ‘  _

_ ‘ We are getting sued! ‘  _

_ ‘ That’s what you get for sticking your nose into the business between two adults. ‘  _

_ ‘ We freaking depend on you to buy that shit, Akira! Don’t let us down like that ever again! ‘  _

_ ‘ Uhm.. Sorry, I guess. ‘  _

_ ‘ Not every trauma can be healed with my help, maybe you might need to give a call to a Psychaitrist. ‘  _

_ ‘ At least we have them damn emotions unlike you! ‘  _

_ ‘ Maybe he deserved what happened to him. ‘  _

_ ‘ It hurts a lot, doesn’t it? ‘  _

_ ‘ I was curious, so I decided to look up your medical history. ‘  _

_ ‘ You deserve it, Akira. ‘  _

_ ‘ It’s not your fault that Joker did not stop you, so, don’t worry about it! It’s not your fault! ‘  _

_ ‘ They can do whatever they want here, and I can’t stop them. ‘  _

_ ‘ They are still your friends and care about you as much as we do. ‘  _

_ ‘ So I guess our Leader in this mission is going to be Queen? ‘  _

_ ‘ I wish that I have never given birth to you, demon child. ‘  _

He didn’t even notice how the time had passed, as suddenly the pen slipped out of his fingers and rolled down the table onto a floor. He blinked up his eyes and stared at the drawing in front of him. It was a silhouette with its hands over its ears, scooped up in the corner of the wall that had obsessive writing all over it. There was a dark cloud right above the figure’s head, that had hands reaching out of it with sharp objects like knives and boxcutters in their holds. The silhouette did not have tears, but blood streaming out of it’s eyes meanwhile the body of it was covered with thorns of roses. 

Akira looked at it for a solid minute, until he picked it up and began ripping the drawing apart. One piece after another, rip it and destroy it. Throw it into the trash. Rip. Destroy. Get rid of. 

** He does not need help.  **


	10. bite your own teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves infiltrate Akira’s Palace once again; meanwhile Akira has to come face-to-face with the worst situation possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uwu helloooo!  
> 5k+ words chapter is here ☺️💕 hope its alright  
> 1) THANK U SM FOR THE COMMENTS AS ALWAYS GUYS U MELT MY HEART  
> 2) from the 26th of august i will start going to school sooo.. updates might become a bit slower, just warning yall 👉👈
> 
> Also sorry that this one was a bit delayed! Yesterday i was driving back from the hotel where i was staying for a holiday to my home n that took 8 hours, so by the end of it i was exhausteeedddddd
> 
> Anyways, i hope ull enjoy!! ❤️❤️ Love yall n stay safe ✨

“So, what’s the plan?” Ryuji asked the rest of the group as they were gathered in the student council room on the second floor of Shujin Academy. It was Wednesday, which was the “ _short_ ” day of the school; instead of six periods they had only four, so most students and teachers would have left the building by now.

They were a lot more prepared then ever before, but maybe it seemed this way simply because usually the preparations would be done by Akira and not them. The Phantom Thieves were glad that they still had an equipment; so they honestly did not have to do too much work.

Morgana did warn them though that due to the fact that they had to balance out Shido’s Palace and Akira’s Palace; the raven’s treasure had to be stolen as fast as possible. They had no idea in which state their leader would end up being after the distortion within his heart would collapse, so the time should have be enough for him not to just recover but to come back onto the battlefield once again.

Still, no matter how enthusiastic the “ _executioners_ ” seemed to feel about this operation, Morgana and Futaba kept repeating that the only reason why they were tagging along, was simply because of how dangerous the Palace was, and that if the teenagers would die in there - Akira would never be able to forgive himself.

“Well..” The brunette sighed; suddenly the weight that Akira had to carry daily fell lump onto her own shoulders.

At first she was exited to be the Leader in this mission; maybe a part of her even wanted to somewhat over-shine Akira; to prove that she was as capable as him. But things were not as easy as they seemed to be; Morgana stayed over at her house the other night to teach her how to make infiltration tools, and she was exhausted just from that. 

** ————— **

_ “Uhm.. is that right?” She asked Morgana, as she picked up her freshly made lockpick. The cat hummed and nodded his head, “Whew.. I have to make three of these, right?” _

_ “Oh, no!” Morgana shook his head, “You have to make at least 10 of these and also Goho-M, The Relaxing Gas and other things. We must have over 5 of each.” The brunette almost choked on her own spit as she glanced up at the clock to see that it was already 11 in the evening. _

_ “When.. does he even manage to do all of this?” She blinked in surprise, to which the cat answered with a scoff. _

_ “He has extremely good relationship with Kawakami, so she let’s him make stuff during the lessons. Also, from time to time he makes these on his way home. Mostly he spends time making tools in Leblanc though.” Morgana answered, which brought up another question to light. _

_ “Actually.. What kind of schedule does Akira has?” Makoto wondered, and the cat had to think before answering. _

_ “That really depends. But he does have many things to do during the day. He works at the bar, at the convenience store, at Iwai’s shop, at the flower shop.. sometimes he cleans up in Leblanc and serves some customers. I also saw him doing favors for an ex-politician.. Oh, oh! He also used to hang out with Akechi a lot, but I don’t know what they were up to since usually I would be kicked out of the bag.” The cat saddened at that, and sat down onto the soft pillow that rested on Makoto’s bed. The atmosphere suddenly darkened in the room, and the girl could not help but ask further. _

_ “Were they.. close?” She questioned, to which Morgana sighed. _

_ “I don’t know how close, but I know that Akira was very, very stressed over the fact that Akechi was a traitor.” _

** —————— **

“Well, what?” Asked Ann, looking up with curious; a bit childish eyes at the ‘ _new leader_ ’, “If you’re not super sure about something you can discuss this with us before doing anything; you’re a newbie to this unlike Akira.” The girl’s stare did not leave blonde’s, as she just squeezed her palms together.

“Alright then.” Makoto smiled, as she placed down the paper on which she scratched down a plan, “Last time we infiltrated the Palace, we found the entrance door and the back door. Considering the strength of the demon cognition - the one with red hair - out last wish is to stumble on her right at the very start of this mission.” She cleared her throat and continued, “When we were there Ryuji had used his Persona to make a hole in the wall; thanks to that - we discovered that the first time when you go into the house - the mansion is in a completely normal state; but if you enter for the second time then it twists into a psychotic trance. I have a question to Ann, Ryuji and Yusuke. When you walked in inside, were there stairs heading upstairs?”

The trio went silent for a moment, until Yusuke spoke up - having the brightest memory out of all of them, “If my thoughts are correct, there were stairs only leading downstairs. I personally inspected it close, they were barricaded with wooden sticks. There was also massive lock that required a key - I tried to use Joker’s lockpick, but most likely it did not work due to the distortion being his own Palace. Would be bizarre if it genuinely cracked it.” The artist had finished, and that was when Ryuji gasped and jumped up in his place.

“Yo! I remember now! There was like a note next to the closed stairs that said somethin’ about getting a key from the fourth floor!” The blond said, which Makoto quickly noted down. Alright, they were getting close to figuring everything out.

“Why didn’t you say that earlier?!” Ann questioned, “And how come you were the only one who saw that note?”

“I was about to tell yall, but that was when we found a Treasure chest and... well... I forgot.” He looked down guilty, Haru decided to butt in with a reassuring smile and a pat on the shoulder.

“It’s alright, good that you remember right now. It makes things a lot easier.”

“So,” Makoto spoke up again, “As I have told you all before classical Torture Chambers are usually positioned underground, so most likely that is exactly what is locked up in the normal version of the mansion.”

“But the only way up to the fourth floor is to turn it into a psychotic trance..” Yusuke followed up the thought with a serious look on his face, “And in order to do so.. we must enter the mansion, and somehow do that again.”

“Can’t we just go in and go out?” Ryuji asked, while scratching the back of his head.

“We cannot. The reason for that is in order to enter the psychotic trance, someone must be occupying the normal one. That was how this worked last time; based on Akira’s psychological profile it would also make sense. While he is busy “ _pleasuring the guests_ ” with a warm welcome, he cannot properly hide the “ _true inside_ ” and that is how it becomes accessible in the first place.” Makoto narrowed it down, to which everyone looked up at her impressed.

“You’ve picked up on things fast, Makoto.” Morgana commented as he sat down and brought his leg up to scratch behind his ear, “The Palace is not massive but has many tricks like these. We must think.”

“So.. How do we enter the psychotic trance? Also, let’s not forget about the demon chick.” Ryuji brought them back to the topic of discussion.

They all fell silent while thinking. Some of them began suggesting theories like throwing a stone inside, or putting one leg in and then pulling it out, maybe destroying the demon cognition would break this weird spell, they even talked about going through the back and entrance door at the same time - wondering which outcome that would bring up when finally Futaba loudly groaned and spoke up.

“I will go inside the normal mansion-“ she started up; Makoto opened her mouth to dismiss the idea but that was when the hacker continued, “ _-because I am not an Executioner._ ”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Ann asked.

“Yeah, exactly! Aren’t we all seen as Executioners?” Ryuji caught up to Ann, the two of them looked at Futaba with confusion, but on the surface they were not the only ones confused.

“The first time when me and Morgana arrived there, the Shadow did not attack me at all. She called me the _Saint_ , and left me alone.” The hacker shrugged, “I didn’t get a chance to ask what’d it meant, but yeah. I am safe in the normal house of the first floor. So... Logically I will go inside, and after some time you will follow. Then.. I guess I will wait. I might find something else on the first floor that you guys missed, plus, I could distract the demon cognition!” She grinned and put the thumbs up; it was like mentioning the fact that she was viewed differently from them raised her mood.

But why did Akira view them as Executioners but not Futaba? Executioner was an official who would carry out a death sentence. Brunette had never thought about this like that before, but Akira carried Shadows as his Personas, right? Every time a Shadow would negotiate with Akira; it would eventually say something among the lines of, “ _I belong in the human sea of hearts_ ”.. _right_? Could that mean that in some way every Shadow partially was and still is a part of Akira, and that is why he viewed them as Executioners? Right, Futaba would sometimes change the cognition and make enemies give up, but she had never _killed_ a single Shadow in front of Akira.. _Interesting._

“But.. how will we communicate? What if something will happen to you?” Makoto asked, to which Futaba scoffed in amusement.

“In case of danger I will use Goho-M and go back into the real world.” Then she hummed, “About communication.. Good that we are mentioning this. Let’s imagine three hours pass.. and I don’t hear from any of you, what should I do?” She asked; there were mixed emotions all over her face.

“In that case..” Makoto frowned, _“You will have to call Akira.”_

“No!” Morgana and Futaba shouted at the same time; Makoto flinched back at the startling sound.

“A Palace Ruler cannot enter their own Palace! It’s dangerous!” The cat said, the hacker nodded her head at that, “Remember what happened after Futaba entered her Palace-“

“That’s the thing. It actually stayed fine for a while, right?” Brunette said.

“But.. but...” the hacker looked down to which Makoto reminded her.

“That’s only in the most extreme situation! Which will most likely not happen!”

“I hope so..” Morgana sighed.

“Let’s go over our plan once again just to make things clear-“ Haru decided to speak, “-We go inside the distortion; Futaba will go through that hole first and investigate for anything that we could have missed. While she’s at it - we will enter the house after a while, which will active the psychotic switch. Then, our goal is to survive for three hours and go back to report to Futaba who will be waiting for us either outside of the mansion or in the real world. Once we do that, depending on our personal powers we will decide to proceed further or pull out for the day. The Palace is not massive, but filled with traps so we must stay careful.”

Everyone nodded.

“Well, then-“ their phones all buzzed, “Who could that be?” 

** PHANTOMS**

**Akira** : hey guys.. Uhm.. Should we go into the Palace today? 

**Akira** : Im sorry that I did not let any of u go until this moment, but im sure that now we can proceed! :D 

**Ann** : sorry akira.. we are busy today.. 

**Akira** : oh.. thats alright 

**Ann** : yeah, sorry..

**Akira** : no, no! Thats okay

**Akira** : makoto i was wondering wether morgana is still with you 

**Akira** : i wanted to talk to him a bit

**Makoto** : Yes he is 

**Makoto** : and im sorry.. we are hanging out together..

**Akira** : ahh.. I see... 

**Akira** : where are you guys by the way..? 

**Ryuji** : just busy, you know

**Ryuji** : chill dude 

**Akira** : right.. 

**Akira** : well, i wont disturb any of you any longer 

-

“Well, that was.. awkward?” Ann said, sighing. Futaba and Morgana looked at the group chat with guilty faces; the hacker could not even type anything.

“We shall go.” Makoto stood up from her chair, and activated the Nav. Everyone nodded, as they got pulled away into the distortion.

They found themselves in a familiar setting, but this time there was no rain out of blood. The Phantom Thieves stood in the small field; the grass was shortly cut, so the person could properly see where they were going. This time the moon was not hidden behind the clouds, but lighting up bright in the night sky. There were no starts; only a small, breezy wind that gave chills down their spines.

Phantom Thieves looked around and saw that Futaba was the only one who’s clothes did not change; even Morgana was viewed as a threat which meant that he was also the Executioner in Akira’s psyche. Even though, the cat did not let it get to him, and was the first one to walk forward towards the hole that the teenagers have described Ryuji made.

“Actually.. how did you and Mona-chan walk into the mansion for the first time?” Haru asked the hacker girl.

“Through the back door. The front door was locked last time we were here.” Futaba answered, to which Haru mumbled ‘ _oh, I see_ ’ under her breath.

“We’re here!” Ryuji announced, as they stood in front of a massive opening in the wall. The hacker made her way in front of the others and walked in.

“Well, good luck guys. Remember - three hours.” Futaba reminded them as she jumped into the mansion. The furniture inside was expensive and had beautiful designs. Most would recognize that the whole setting was inspired by victorian mansions of aristocrats.

The hacker hummed to herself and checked her clothes once again - still her casual outfit. She walked through the hallway into the living room. There was a massive, wine red sofa in the middle; a fireplace right in front of it with a burning wood to heat up the place. On the left was a window with a beautiful glass composition - it was a mother in a white gown holding a toddler in her hands while soothing it to sleep. On the right side were bookshelves with a lot of books on them; out of curiosity the girl walked up to them to realize that most of these were actual novels that exited in the real world.

“What a nerd.” She grinned, while looking over the rest of the room. There was a coffee table in front of the sofa with a bowl of Futaba’s favorite sweets. _This place was already trying to please her_ , she thought, as she approached and decided to eat one candy with the flavor of a salted caramel. 

As she chewed on it, she walked further into the house to see another room. This time it looked more similar to a game room; it had darts, the table of chess, pool and card games scattered across the table that stood in the middle. She noticed that the design of most games has been changed; for example with the chess the white figures were all angels meanwhile the dark figures were all demons. When she tried to move the black pawn; Futaba realized that they were glued to their place. She could only move the angelic pawns; and when she did - the black figures would move by itself. It was like a programmed game with the computer; where only one player was needed.

Futaba decided to come back to this later.

The hacker stood up again and walked up to the door, opening it and this time she was standing in the kitchen. There was not much in there - which surprised her since Akira spent a lot of time in the kitchen at Leblanc - but there were some simple things like pans, bowls, plates, knives and coffee brewing machine.

The next door opened up the dining hall. It was a massive table with around 12 seats in total surrounding it. The food stood hot and steamy in front of each place; ready to be eaten. Ranging from well-cooked chicken in the middle of the banquet to ice cream dessert further to the back. Her stomach let out a sound after smelling all the deliciousness that coated the room; and after some mental fight with herself the hacker swallowed down her hunger and opened up the next door.

She walked for a while like that; most rooms had nothing special about them to pay attention to. There was even a dressing room and a swimming pool. And only after passing through 20 rooms - Futaba finally came towards what she was looking for.

This was an entrance hall - this is where they would end up if they could walk through a front door. From an inside she could see how the chains were dangled up all over the door and even windows. Futaba sighed and looked around - finding the hidden passage at the very back. It was clogged up with wooden sticks with signs ‘ **KEEP OUT** ’ all over the place; but thanks to her peeking skill she could see that there were stairs leading down. There was also quite unrealistic floating lock right in front of the passageway; it was probably the one that Yusuke told them about. 

“ _The Saint came back_.”

The girl almost jumped at the voice and turned around to see the demon cognition staring back at her. Unlike the last time she had seen her; the woman’s hair was not tied into ponytails, but was down and looked rather messy as if she had just woken up from a sleep. On top of her clothes she had a black robe and this time there was no makeup on her face, “Do you want to go and drink a cup of tea?” The demon asked as she turned around and began walking away towards the kitchen; after some debate - Futaba followed.

-

The rest of the Phantom Thieves stood outside, waiting for something to happen.

“So.. How long do we wait?” Ryuji asked, while moving his neck for a stretch, “I’m getting bored..”

“Grow up, Skull!” Morgana rolled his eyes, “We are on a very serious mission at the moment so keep your eyes and ears open!”

The moment that the cat had said that - the inside of the house began to shift. The walls together with the ceiling, floor and furniture began to stretch out like an illusion right in front of their eyes and soon enough Haru and Makoto witnessed a more familiar sight of a hall room. Everything looked exactly the same as the last time they had been here.

“It’s open.” Makoto nodded, as she stepped inside - the rest following behind. The Phantom Thieves looked around with open mouths and flash of disgust over their faces.

“This is.. _gruesome_...” Ann decided to comment while closing her nostrils with her fingers; to which their new leader sighed and nodded.

“Okay, now we have to focus.” Makoto said, as she eyed the stairs that were going up - but before proceeding there; she decided to check on what the rest of the floor had to offer.

There was one more room that they had an access to and that was next to their right side - it looked like a bedroom. There was a clack standing next to the wall, a queen-sized chamber and a table with cards scattered around. On the ceiling corners there were massive amounts of the spider webs with albino spiders crawling all over them. In general, the whole room looked dull and abandoned. For a clean freak like Akira, it was interesting to see something so messy, but domestic at the same time.

“There is _nothing_ here.. Huh...” Makoto sighed, as she came back towards the stairs where the rest of her friends had been waiting, “Let’s go.” She said with determination in her voice; _they still had 2 hours and 50 minutes left before pulling out._

-

Akira was worried. Not about himself but about his friends and whatever they were up to. He hated thinking about them this way, but they were quite weak. Sure, as a group they were strong; but without right coordinates-

_Oh. Right._ _Makoto was.. She was decided to be the new Leader for some new mission, right? But where and what was it about? And why.. Was he not allowed to join them? Why was he not invited? Did they get tired of him? Was he too annoying? Too much of a bother? Too strict with them?_

But if they would go into deeper level of Mementos or even Shido’s Palace they would die! He could _never_ let that happen! Because if they die it would be his fault and he can’t-

Without thinking the raven jumped up from his place and began gathering all the things that he needed into his backpack. His mind was racing in panic, he had to go and help them! The new mission, right?! Then it was most likely Shido’s Palace since he was their current target and the thieves constantly wanted to go there. Plus, it makes sense that they decided not to bring him along - after all, Akira constantly stood in their plans of proceeding further.

The boy gulped down his worries, trying to remain calm as he almost sprinted downstairs only to find Sojiro standing in the middle of a cafe. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion seeing that the sign was flipped to ‘ **closed** ’. There were no costumers inside, no TV playing on the background and no cooking in the kitchen. Their eyes met and Akira almost immediately wanted to take a step back; it was a while since he had seen Sojiro so.. _serious_? He had no idea how to describe it.

_ “Care to explain?”  _

The man said in a low, raspy voice as he threw something sharp onto the table. Akira’s soul left his body as he recognized the blade that he would hide behind the toilet in the bathroom. It had dried blood all over it and looked a bit rusty.

“I-“ he said, but suddenly his mouth went mute. There was nothing. Nothing was leaving his mouth; his vision kept jumping from Sojiro towards the blade and back. He had to compose himself and play it cool, pretend it was not his but why was it so hard to collect himself?

“You?” Sojiro asked, raising one eyebrow at the boy and sitting back onto one of the chairs with his arms crossed over his chest. The tension in the room was almost impossible to handle, and Akira felt like breaking down. It was so cold; he was going to freeze, “Akira, what the _hell_ is _this_ doing in my bathroom?”

“I don’t know.” Immediately came out an answer, it was automatic - he had no time to even think it over. The older man scoffed and continued to pressure the raven into talking.

“You’re telling me you have no idea what that is?” Another question, followed by another nod, “You also have no idea why your bed sheets and some clothes were stained in blood? You also perhaps have no idea why so many bandages went missing? You also have no idea-“

“It’s all from the battles in the Metaverse!” _It’s not mine!_ “I swear, I’m not lying!” _You have to believe me!_ “I don’t what this is, maybe one of the costumers dropped it!” _It’s not mine! It’s not mine! It’s not mine!_

“Kid.” Sojiro interrupted him, and that was when he realized that his whole body was shaking, “We both know that you’re lying so drop that shit.” The man warned him, to which raven aggressively shook his head.

“I’m not lying-“

“You are.”

“No!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“I said yes.”

“Not, you got it all wrong-“

“Yes, I got it all right, kid.”

Akira grunted and took a step back. His stomach was turning upside down, as he had no idea how to escape this confrontation clean and unsuspicious. His mind was pacing with thoughts but all of them were too quick for him to even process and come up with the defense. In times like these he wished that he could turn back time or just stop it in order to think; where did the speed of his thoughts go when he needed it the most? He was the Leader of the Phantom Thieves after all- _Ah, right. He wasn’t anymore, now, was he?_ He really was pathetic after all, from the very beginning.

“Listen, kid-“ Sojiro said a lot calmer, but it could be heard the way how much even the man himself hated this conversation, “-I’ve got a number of your Psychaitrist. How about we give her a call?”

“No!” The boy immediately shouted; surprised at the volume of his voice as he covered his mouth with both of his hands, “B-but.. I told you that I don’t know what it is-“

“Cut out this bullshit, kid. You can fool your friends but you can’t fool me. I might look like an old, useless granpa but in no way am I that blind and stupid.” Sojiro said, as he pulled out his phone once again; Akira’s heartbeat picked up its speed and he could feel the way how it jumped into his throat. He felt paralyzed from head to toe.

“N-no! Please! No-“ he was mumbling by now.

“Calm down.” His guarding sighed, while standing up, “I was just checking my texts. First-“ he took a step forward to Akira, “-we will go into your room and take away the rest of whatever you are hiding. And don’t you dare try and trick me here, kid.”

“But-“

“No buts.”

The raven had already long forgotten about his friends and the possible danger surrounding them at this very moment; the situation that he was stuck in occupied his mind too much for him to be able to think straight. _He got caught_ , he thought, _and that was so.. so.. embarrassing_. Sojiro saw his lowest point; the rabbit’s hole in which he fell into and was unable to crawl out of. _He looked sick, didn’t he? Pathetic._

“This is not mine.” He tried once again, only receiving an annoyed sigh from the man.

“You will either cooperate or I will personally look through your whole room. If this is actually not yours as you say - then you have nothing to hide in there, right?” Sojiro fired back, and damn, that was a good way to put it. Akira had to come up with something to say, how to defend his position and not let the man see.

“I- I-“ he had no idea what to say, _what would be a good enough excuse?!_ “I have adult magazines t-there!” He stated out, only to receive a weak chuckle from the other.

“I’m sure you do, but that’s not what we are talking about now, is it?” Sojiro walked up to the stairs.

“W-well let me clean my room first before you go there!” Akira walked behind him, panic! _Panic! Panic! No! No! No! Stop! Stop! Stop!_

“I’m sure it’s not worse than Futaba’s room and you are a clean freak so, it’s fine up there, I’m sure about it-“

“No, please wait-!” 

-

The Phantom thieves began walking upstairs towards the second floor of the mansion. The ground under them would loudly creek with each step that they took. It was not long as they finally stepped onto a solid floor.

To their surprise it was a simple hallway. It was shining with almost blinding white, meanwhile the floor had the chess design. Something was not right here; was the first thought that Makoto had as she began walking. There were three doors and a wheelchair at the end of the corridor. As she took one more step forward - her both feet landed onto the black patterns under her and suddenly everything around changed once again. Instead of white; the walls were now splashed with blood. On an instinct she flinched which returned the room back to normal.

“Makoto, are you alright?” Haru asked; brunette nodded.

“Everyone, step on the black patterns on the floor.” She commanded, and once they all did everyone gasped in shock.

It was truly scary. But based on this outcome, that would most likely mean that every floor in the mansion at first was going to appear normal and they were going to have to figure out how to switch between psychotic and casual setting.

Makoto looked up once again to take in everything around them. The walls had eyes on them - looking straight at the Phantom Thieves. There were also teeth randomly sticking out of everywhere and same as the first floor - needles. Syringes were lying all over the floor, scattered around together with medicines. There were all kinds: from white to shining purple capsules. The teeth on the walls suddenly began to grit against each other and scooping closer - forming into mouths with sickish smirks. The Thieves expected for them to talk, but all they did was slowly slide against one another forming the most disturbing sound that Makoto had ever heard.

“Guys! A Shadow!” Morgana jumped up; and he was right. In front of them stood an enemy that had red fire burning out of it with an angry looking expression.

“Get ready to fight! But keep standing on the black patterns!” Makoto commanded, and the battle began.

The Shadow transformed and showed it’s true colors. It was nothing like they had seen before; it was a woman with white hair and grey skin. Hey eyes were shining with toxic blue, meanwhile her lower part of the face was covered with a mask of some sort. Her outfit looked closer to an armor with a bunch of caskets surrounding her waist like a shield.

“What the hell is this?!” Ryuji gasped, already attacking it with an electric attack - the strongest one that he had.

“I d-don’t know! I’ve never seen anything like this Shadow before!” Answered Morgana, getting ready all his healing spells.

The Shadow took an attack after attack, and lost an extremely low amount of HP. The Phantom Thieves kept attacking without a breathe; the enemy was not even fighting back and just stood there with an intimidating look on her face. It seemed like her main task was not to hurt them, but to simply hold them back.

“Guys! Stop!” Makoto shouted. This was not working; they needed a strategy or a plan of some sort, “Fighting it like this useless and we will waste all SP!”

“What would you suggest for us to do?” Questioned Yusuke with a troubled face expression.

The brunette stood there thinking for a good while - there weren’t many options for them. She looked up at the Shadow to see the golden spear behind it; but based on the way how it was positioned and used - it was served not as a weapon, but as a protective magical shield.  


_What would Akira do? What would Akira do..? Wait. That was a mistake. This was Akira’s Palace, their Leader. So.. the real question was what Akira would not expect them to do._

“Someone has to go up behind her and take away that spear; if possible.. attack her with it!” 


	11. the wardens of the floors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves fall into the trap on the second floor; Futaba has a proper conversation with the demon cognition - meanwhile Akira just sinks further into his depression.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SO TIRED WOAH  
> ITS 2AM MY EYES R SHUTTING BY THEMSELVES 
> 
> Anyways ❤️ thank u again for the comments uwu :D  
> This is not checked for mistakes AT ALL  
> Sorry about that wlzjkakz  
> Anyways, I hope you’ll enjoy and that its okay to read- pft

Akira wanted to disappear.

He felt his whole world collapse onto him as Sojiro began finding one blade after another around his room. One was under the bed; another one was among the working tools; the third one was inside the nightstand; the fourth one was in his secret hiding spot next to the sofa; and so on. It was rather pathetic how easily the man could spot all of them, and the fact that he had not noticed the blades before that for months. Every razor was getting dropped onto Akira’s bed; by now pilling up into a sharp, shining mass. The man was shocked, as he quietly mumbled numbers under his breath with wide eyes. With each count; the raven winced and awkwardly tugged at his own sleeve. He felt exposed in the worst way possible.

“Kid..” Sojiro looked sadly as he seemed to be done; he looked up at the teenager to which the other nodded as he confirmed that this was it, “Why..”

“I don’t know.” Akira replied, and that made his heart only sink lower into his gut. He had no idea why he had been doing this; he had no idea why this was so addicting; he had no idea why the pain was just so overwhelming and euphoric, “I.. I just... I didn’t..”

“Hey, sit down.” The man gestured at the sofa in the attic; at first the boy looked hesitant but eventually walked up and sat himself down.

Raven’s body language was screaming that he was highly alert and on defense: his back was not touching the wall; his shoulders were leaning closer to the front, slightly bending down his body; his fingers kept fidgeting between each other as his nails forcefully digged into his cuticles, slowly ripping them off. Most of the skin had already been chewed off by now, so, for a moment Sojiro was concerned that Akira would tear himself to blood, but decided on not pointing that pointing out.

“I’ll be honest, I’m bad at this shit, kid, but if you need to talk you should always come to me.” He said in a gentle voice, and sighed as he did not get any reply, “Look. I am not mad-“ the empty eyes shifted away from the man down onto the floor, it seemed like the teen had zoned out, “-but we have to figure out how to stop this. Akira? Are you listening to me?”

He wasn’t.

His mind had been long gone in the mist of misery. The boy dissociated far away from there - if he could not escape physically then he would escape mentally. He could see himself from a third perspective, staring at the thirteen blades lying on the bed. Some of them were brand new, and some of them were older, rustier. His body got paralyzed as all he could think about was how much of a failure he really was.

Sojiro furrowed his eyebrows in worry and stood up, while violently shaking the boy’s shoulders in order to bring him back. Akira’s body was not fighting it; his head swung back and forth which made some of his joins in the neck crack and sting. But he did not care.

“Akira.” Sojiro said again, but got no response. They stood like this for a while; the raven with his head hung low and the man with his hands on his shoulders - hoping that these dark grey eyes will eventually look up and talk to him. But as minutes passed, cafe owner understood that this was useless to hope for.

It was ironic how usually these types of situations would get described in the novels or movies. That a person after being discovered would go on and talk it all out as if it’s nothing, and stop the next day. Even if now Sojiro was going to leave him alone and let him collect himself back piece by piece - he was going to cut again today and tomorrow and then the next day and the day after. Self-harm was not just a symptom - it was an _addiction_ that was as hard to quit as smoking or drinking. The boy was far gone in bad coping mechanisms, and was so tied down to them, that no matterhe would still find another way.

Sojiro understood that. Taking away these blades would almost mean nothing. Sure, they held very sensitive memories and separating them from their owner would most likely hurt the masochist abuser; but they both knew that with blades or without Akira would still find another to hurt himself.

The man let go off the boy and reached down towards his phone as he began to scroll through the contact list. He finally landed on the number: ‘ **Akira’s Psychaitrist** ’ and pressed the button to dial it. He glanced at the teen once again in hopes that the other was going to try and stop him - but nothing came. This was devastating to look at.

“ _Hello, this is Dr. Gira, how may I help you?_ ” Sojiro snapped out of his thoughts as he heard the voice of a woman on the other line, talking in a professional tone.

“My name is Sojiro Sakura and I am the current guardian of one of your old patients Akira Kurusu.” The man introduced himself and heard some shuffling from the other side of the call, “Are you available at the moment?” He questioned; Sojiro almost never talked so formal in his daily life, but he knew when to be mature about his speech.

“ _I am currently available._ ” Paper shuffling, “ _Ah, yes. Kurusu-kun, we haven’t heard of him for a while. Is he alright?_ ” The woman asked, to which Sojiro looked up at the boy in front of him and sighed.

“He is not. I recently discovered that he had been coping with negative emotions by cutting. I just now found thirteen blades in his room. He is sitting right in front of me, but it seems like he cannot hear me at all. I am worried, I don’t know what to do, Doc.” Sojiro answered to which the Dr. Gira hummed to herself with a slight pause before answering.

“ _Akira Kurusu had been a special case.._ ” The Psychaitrist said a lot quieter, “ _Are you aware of his situation?_ ”

“Not quite.. I’ve only heard the basics. H-hold on a minute.” The man sighed; massaging his temples and collecting the blades into his hands while heading downstairs; understanding that maybe the boy should not hear any more of their conversation. Once he was far enough, he resumed talking, “His mother married his father at an extremely young age due to some religious reasonings..? She cheated on her husband and got pregnant from a different man, which caused Akira to be born. That’s all that I have been told, plus bunch of rumors.”

“ _That is correct. The whole town knew the story of Kurusu family; but I thought that he had forgotten about all of this. Do you have any idea what could have triggered back Akira’s addiction?_ ” The doctor asked, and Sojiro could hear her writing something down.

“No idea..” he thought about the interrogation room, but he knew that he could not say anything, “But based on these blades that I’ve found.. They’re quite old. Same as his scars.” Sojiro hummed to himself, “Maybe the fact that he got criminal record while protecting the woman from an assault?“

“ _Maybe_.” The woman agreed, “ _I think it’s best for us to meet up with Kurusu-kun once again to have a talk. Due to the distance, we could have an online meeting. Is he free tomorrow at 2pm?_ ” She asked; probably while looking at her schedule.

“I’m sure he is. I will let him know.” Sojiro nodded, feeling a slight relief. He had to help this boy, before he would fall to the depth of the self-destruction.

“ _Alright. Sakura-san, now that you have discovered and confronted Kurusu-kun, there are high chances of him either trying to run away or doing something extremely reckless. I would highly appreciate you keeping an eye on his until our session. Even though he would at the moment highly desire privacy, please don’t leave him alone for too long_.” Dr. Gira warned the man, to which the other swallowed down. For some reason hearing such recommendations and imagining the high risk of such possibilities was so unsettling.

“You got it, Doc.” 

-

“See that spear behind it? It’s most likely the reason why our attacks inflict such little damage!” Makoto shouted at the rest of the team; they all looked up at the Shadow in front of them, “Akira put up this type of defense because he would expect for us to take it by force and waste all of our SP and HP! But he would not expect for one of us to attack from behind!” The brunette straightened up her back.

“But who will go behind that thing?!” Ann asked, still in her fighting position as she gripped on the whip in her hand.

_ How Makoto was even supposed to choose? At which qualities was she supposed to look? Which skills was she supposed to consider? This was a great task putting everyone in danger; but this was the only way. _

“I’ll go!” Ryuji volunteered, Morgana looked like he wanted to say something against it but that was when the delinquent continued, “Joker never let me do such important tasks! So I wanna show him that I’m also capable!”

That sounded fair; plus if their leader truly never allowed Ryuji to go on any missions like that - then he would _never_ expect such a twist.

“Go for it, Skull. We depend on you!” Makoto allowed him; to which the other nodded with a grin spreading on his lips. He carefully retreated himself, and so that the Shadow would not notice the fact that the boy had disappear the rest of the Phantom Thieves began attacking with their all might without stopping.

Ann began using her guns more often in order to save up SP; Makoto used Nuke attacks while at the same time watching over the other’s health, Morgana focused on trying to recover everyone else’s magic with all kinds of items that they got from Akira; Yusuke mostly focused on his physical attacks - which were actually the most effective against their target. Haru stood more behind them, and from time to time would combine her strength with Makoto’s to form a double combo. With the strategy going up and up - the Shadow had no time to notice that Skull had disappeared.

The moment the HP meter of their opponent dropped to almost 50% out of the total; their enemy had finally decided to make a move and closed her eyes to concentrate.

“Guys! We don’t know what’s about to come so shield yourselves!” Warned Morgana, while covering up his own head with his paws. The rest soon enough decided to follow up his example; meanwhile Ryuji was already behind the Shadow and only meters away from the spear.

To their surprise their enemy at first did not attack, but casted a healing spell that fully restored her HP. The brunette’s eyes widened as she had finally recognized this move - Akira had used it only twice during their battles and both were critical situations. _Was he hiding his power from them on purpose?_ They had no time to think about that though; as the woman with white hair clapped her hands together and raised them up - the spear behind her floated up in the air and began to circle at an extremely fast speed while casting a fire attack. The force knocked them all down from their legs; their enemy used that to her advantage to charge with the gun attack - making Yusuke and Morgana pass out from the damage.

“This is bad! We gotta heal up, and fast!” Ann shouted in panic, as she ran up to Yusuke and ruffled through the leather bag that was tied to his waist to find a familiar looking medicine that would restore 200 HP points; together with that she pulled out life oilment and began treating her friends, “Queen, Noir cover me!” She begged, while jumping to her work. The other two girls nodded; making Haru cast the anti-magical and anti-physical shields.

“Why would you do that?! You wasted most of your SP!” Gasped Makoto, “We have the capsules from the clinic that have the same effect!” She almost barked at the poor thief; her eyes immediately widened.

She was already failing at keeping their work altogether. Similar situations used to happen to Akira too at the start; but he had never lost his cool how she had just now. Makoto quickly cleared her throat and apologized.

“I’m almost done!” Ann notified them, as she was bandaging up Yusuke’s bleeding arm. The artist grunted from pain, but did not say anything.

“Alright! Let’s all focus, and give Skull a chance to strike!” Makoto said, as she furrowed her eyebrows - concentrating on her next attack, “ _Persona_!”

The whole room lightened up as Haru and Makoto gave in their best and combined their powers in the most effective attack that they could possibly create - casting 570 points of damage to their opponent, and knocking her down. The Shadow held her head in her hands while mumbling something under her breath, that none of them could hear.

“Skull! Now is the only chance!” Makoto shouted to the boy; and the other nodded as he jumped out of his hiding spot and ran up to their enemy while charging at his fastest speed. _This was their only chance!_

But something unspeakable happened, as Ryuji had forgot about stepping only onto black patterns, and by accident stepped onto a white one; out of a sudden change in scenery Skull lost his concentration and almost tripped against his own feet.

It was enough time for the Shadow to become aware of what was happening and to turn around, while swinging her hand up - the caskets around her waist circled around her body and charged at Ryuji making him loose consciousness immediately.

“Skull!” Ann gasped in shock, and tried to run away from her place to help the blond boy - but her recklessness brought her to the exact same mistake that Ryuji did, so the Shadow took care of her just as fast. The model’s body fell on top of a knocked out Skull like a ragdoll.

Makoto bit down onto her lip and looked around - the only ones standing were her and Haru; _but both of them had already lost most of their SP!_ Yusuke and Morgana were still in critical condition meanwhile Ann and Ryuji were unconscious; their bodies were glitching in a weird way - they kept appearing and disappearing; most likely jumping back and forth between psychotic and normal trance of the mansion.

“ _I am the Guarding of the second floor of our Torture Chamber._ ” The Shadow suddenly spoke; her voice was loud and frightening, “ _Executioners do not belong here. So you must be punished by the Warden of the Second Floor for surpassing this territory!_ ”

Suddenly the ground around them began to shake; the mouths on the walls instead of gritting teeth all bursted out in hysterical laughter. The sound sounded more like a cry or a scream, mixed with unstable breathing. The more they laughed, the more ground would shake. The dust began to fall down from the ceiling as everything around them began to crack - the patters on the floor all melted into black color which meant that they had no going back from the psychotic trance.

_ “Thou shall fall to ruin!” _

The Shadow said, as she opened both of her arms - the necklace around her neck began to shine; brightening up the whole room with white, making the rest of the Phantom Thieves fall asleep. 

-

Futaba strangely felt very comfortable in the cognition’s company, there was something in this woman that screamed both danger and home at the same time. It was a confusing sensation, but she just went along with it since she had no other choice. They were currently in the kitchen - the demon was making tea for both of them ( _which Futaba was not planning on drinking, but she could play along_ ) and the hacker sat on one of the chairs that was in front of a small wooden table next to the window that showed a clear view of an outside.

“Mind sharing what Saint is doing here?” The cognition asked as she had finally walked up with two cups in her hands; she positioned one in front of the girl and the other one was for herself.

“Uhm.. Well.. Just lookin’ around.” Futaba shrugged, she was not quite sure on what to answer, “I actually want to ask you something.”

“Go on.” The demon looked up with curious eyes, while taking a seat in front of the hacker, “Ask away.”

“What does the Saint and Executioners mean?” The girl asked, to which the demon hummed and closed her golden eyes while taking a sip from the cup. She soon set it down onto the table.

“The Executioners are the weaklings who have the contract with the Master.” Answered the cognition, as she leaned back and threw one leg over another while playing with the lock of her toxic-red hair, “Every single Executioner has formed a deal with the Master - The Ruler of this Torture Chamber. The contract consists of the fact that He shall grant their wishes and pay with pain for that; meanwhile they mustn’t leave His side. The moment they’ll do that, they will be breaking a contract - which would break the deal. Once that happens the Master won’t be at their mercy anymore, and the Devil might get unleashed.” The demon explained, Futaba blinked in surprise.

“So.. why am I a Saint?” She asked carefully, while warming up her palms by cupping the cup in her hold.

“You are the Saint because you are the only one who stays close to the Master without the specific contract. More over, you broke the rule - to grant your wishes, the Master of this place must not have to go through pain.” The demon weakly smiled, and cocked one of her eyebrows up, “Which is venomous, Saint. You keep the Master close, but that must mean that you also are getting closer to the Devil. Even I could not stay with the Devil and the Master; instead I became the Warden of the first floor of the Torture Chamber.” She finished speaking, while lifting up a silver spoon by her side and putting it inside the drink to mix up the sugar better.

“Ah.. so.. in easier words. Akira thinks that everyone around him are friends with him only because they have a gain out of it. He wants to keep them close... He prefers to complete whatever they want from him - which usually leads to him mentally suffering or feeling abandoned. But since he’s the Master of the Chamber, he deserves being treated that way - because to the people around him it’s not friendship but a contract with him. He thinks that in their eyes he’s just a vessel. But the reason why I am not seen like the rest is because I proved to Akira that I want to be around him because of him and not because of the contract..? Gosh, I think I confused myself only more. What the hell is going on in your head, Akira! You’re so confusing!” The girl tried to voice out the thoughts and simplify everything; but eventually gave up, “Whatever it is that he thinks, but the main point is that.. he thinks I’m his only friend.”

“You’re _not_ the _only_ Saint.” Demon spoke up, as her hand movement stopped and she pulled out a silver spoon while gently placing it on the table, “There is one more, but I can’t tell you who that is.”

“That’s alright.” Futaba smiled, “That’s a good thing that Akira has one more person who he thinks is being genuine with him.” She added, while bringing her legs up on the seat of the chair and hugging them close to her chest, “But tell me one more thing.. Who are you exactly? Who’s cognition are you?” For a moment the demon did not say anything; only after a debate she decided to speak up.

“I am the cognition of the Devil’s and Master’s mother - Itsumi Kurusu.” She said; the hacker blinked at the information, and then decided to pressure demon into talking further.

“Can you tell me about.. Itsumi Kurusu? What she was like to Akira and their relationship together? Maybe about her in general.” Futaba was careful with her words, as she knew that she had entered the sensitive topic.

“Itsumi Kurusu was a young and beautiful woman.” Started talking cognition; forgetting about the tea and crossing her hands over her chest, “But her and her husband had never been in love. It was an arranged marriage. Both families were extremely religious - and used to say that the two were chosen by god to be a couple. Once they got married, it all went downhill. Itsumi Kurusu was still young and naïve, not careful about her life choices. She had fallen in love with a different man and had a child from him.” Futaba almost choked on her own spit at the sudden turn of events.

“Are you saying-“

“ _That’s right. Akira Kurusu was a child of an affair, born into the family where he was destined to be hated._ ” The cognition continued with her story, her eyes drifted towards the window and focused on the moon that reflected in her pupils, “Itsumi Kurusu was quickly discovered with the sin of adultery that she had committed; but her husband was not about to let go such a young beauty. Instead, he made sure to let her and her son know the _pain_.” Something in Futaba’s stomach twisted at that, but she decided not to ask for details, “Itsumi Kurusu soon fell into substance addiction. Whenever she would not be sober - she would abuse her child; but quick enough come back to her senses and apologize. She _loved_ him, after all. Same as I love the Master of this place, and even though sometimes I might try and hurt Him - I would never let anyone take His Treasure.”

Suddenly something clicked in Futaba’s mind. Every single moment whenever the Phantom Thieves would shout at Akira to “ _let out their steam_ ” - the true roots of this habit that raven had came from his childhood trauma. He must have subconsciously believed that even though someone might hurt him, they will stay close. Right, he lets them hurt him while thinking that this will tie them together and eventually make everyone love him, no matter how long the abuse will go on or how severe it would turn out to be in the end.

“I see..” the hacked whispered, as her eyes fell down onto the ground. She eyed the clock on her phone; _the rest of the Phantom Thieves still had 2 hours left._

-

Makoto slowly opened her eyes, as she felt her senses coming back to her. She was in a sitting position; she realized - but her arms and legs felt too heavy to move. Her foggy memory began to fill up with realization after each second: Akira’s Palace, second floor, Shadow.. _Right!_

The girl immediately jerked up her head while looking around in panic. Her body was tied down to a chair that stood in the middle of a dark room. It was hard to see, especially with her mask covering most of her vision, but after some time she began to make out that there were more chairs around her with the sleeping figures stuck to them.

“Guys!” Makoto shouted, and then harshly tried to pull herself off the seat - she immediately regretted that as ropes that held her hands behind the chair’s back tugged so harsh against her wrist in a way that would definitely leave a mark. The others seemed to have began to wake up, as brunette heard more movement, and rustling echo around the room.

“W-what’s going on?!” She heard Ann’s voice to her right.

“This shit hurts! My head is gonna go wack, man!” Ryuji grunted from his place.

“Everyone stay calm..” Haru whispered, but it seemed like she was trying to relax herself more rather then the others.

“Woah! This room!” Gasped Morgana; probably the only one in the present setting who had the best night vision due to his cat nature.

“Is everyone alright?” Asked Yusuke; the only one who sounded most collected out of all of them. The artist truly was a.. unique case.

That was when they all heard it; something falling down onto the floor few meters away from them, and then loud glass shattering that pierced their ears. Most of the thieves flinched as they heard heavy footsteps coming towards them from the dark; the ground seemed to shake with each step that whatever creature took. Together with the steps, it was accompanied with heavy breathing and soon enough - two golden eyes shined right at them.

The room lightened up thanks to the torches on the walls being lit with fire on an instant after the creature snapped its fingers together. Now they could take a proper look around; everything was in the medieval-like style - the walls, floor and the ceiling were made out of round, grey stones. Around the room there were many different wooden equipments - the torture machines of all kinds. At the very back of the room laid a bag with a collection of blades, knives and razors. Next to that stood other weapons - swords, guns, whips, and etc. 

The Phantom Thieves were all in a straight row tied to the chairs. Their hands were behind the chairs’ backs; meanwhile their legs were cuffed by the chains, tangled together in the knots that eventually led to a box next to the right wall. The chest that connected their chains was locked with a massive, copper lock that would definitely a challenge to open - especially with their hands tied at the back.

And finally all of their eyes landed on the monster in front of them. It was a man, around 2 meters tall with the scariest face expression that they had ever seen. He was dressed in a suit - rather strange - but had a thin tail swinging back and forth from behind him. His skin was purple and his body was extremely built and muscly. The sharp row on teeth was sticking out of his mouth and forming into a sickish grin.

“Woah, woah, woah-“ Ryuji said quite in panic; he began moving more in his place trying to free himself as he sensed danger radiating off the unknown man, “What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-“

“Is this Akira’s shadow?!” Ann asked, as all she could do was stare in shock and fear.

“No, Lady Ann, it’s also a cognition of someone! But it’s a lot different from the female demon who we saw before!” Morgana explained, trying to come up with some sort of plan of action.

Makoto’s face paled as the realization of how hopeless their situation was at the moment came down to her. She swallowed down the saliva that scooted up in her mouth, as suddenly her throat felt too dry to speak. Her mind was pacing over and over, while her fingers were fidgeting with the rope behind her. And in that moment the cognition spoke.

“ ** _I am the Warden of the Second Floor of our Torture Chamber._** ” The Shadow spoke, his voice was deep and sent shivers down their spines. It sounded like it belonged to the man of an older age, but the way how he spoke was filled with so much hatred and disgust, “ ** _Executioners do not belong on this territory. I will make sure to punish the first Warden for even letting you all in-_** “ he spoke; the thieves shared the look of confusion that quickly faded as the man spoke further, “ ** _-but I was feeling generous today._** ” He chuckled, “ ** _I will let you all choose what kind of pain you would have to go through. Would you like to hear your options?_** ”

Makoto looked at her friends, and they all stared back at her. The thieves were all shaking because they all knew. Fighting was useless, they had to negotiate. Once again the one who usually took care of the talking was Akira, not them. The reality check had never hit them as hard as it did at this very moment. 

“W-what would the options b-be?” Makoto asked; she could not stop her voice from stuttering. The man only smirked as he could smell the fear of teenagers filling up the room. 

“ ** _For today I prepared three special options, and I want to refrain from using my best machines on the Executioners, if I ever would do so - it would only be on the Saints._** ” He said, while taking a step back and opening the view of the room that used to be behind him, “ ** _But I am in rather nostalgic mood, so the punishments that I have designed are all based on the memories that I have with the Master of this Torture Chamber._** ” Makoto glanced up at that; and could not help herself but ask.

“W-who is the Master of this Torture Chamber?” She questioned, as she slowly moved her hand to pat behind her back and finally found what she was looking for - a lock pick. It was small, but sharp. She had to keep talking to the cognition in order to distract him.

“ ** _The Master, of course. Gosh, I fucking hate him. I used to often bring him to this place, but he got away!_** ” The man suddenly spatted out with rage; Haru and Ann jerked away from the sound at that. Makoto pushed away her own fear, as she felt the lock pick fall flat in between her fingers. The brunette struggled to switch the metal into her hold without giving it away; but in a second she was finally holding the sharp end against the ropes and started to slowly, quietly cut them.

“My dearest apologies,” Yusuke said, his eyes danced between Makoto’s hands to the cognition; _he caught up to the plan_ , “You have said that the punishments that you were so generous to design were based off your memories with the Devil - could you be so kind to tell us more about it?” The artist unlike Makoto was a lot more calm; she blinked at Yusuke in shock. The rest of the thieves were also stunned by his mental power in such devastating situation.

“ ** _Argh, so you don’t know who I am._** ” The warden rolled his eyes, “ ** _The Master was that bitch’s son! I fucking hated him! I wanted him to know that he had to pay for his life with pain. That was the price for even letting that bastard Master to stay alive!_** ” The man smirked with an ill expression that crossed his face, “ ** _You could say that over the years I got creative. So, today’s options are inspired by the memories of my sessions with that scum of an evil trash._** ”

“A-and what are the o-options..?” Ann asked; soon regretting that she even opened her mouth as cognition now fully turned itself around to face her.

“ ** _The First one is-_** “ he started, as he rose both of his hands and loudly cracked his knuckles, “ ** _-Flagellation. In case you, dirty Executioners, are unaware of what that is - it is an act of beating up a victim with special implements such as whips, lashes and more. I personally prefer the first equipment._** ” The laughter creaked around the room; as fire in the torches twitched - making the room go dark just for a moment; and immediately coming back to light.

“A-and what’s the second option?” Ryuji asked, even though he was not sure if he wanted to know.

“ ** _Oh_**.” The cognition furrowed his eyebrows in a mocking way, “ ** _The Second option is Drowning. I am not going to drown you perhaps, but I will put your head into the bucket with cold ice water and keep you under for as long as I want. The Master especially hated this one; but at least after that he had learned fast about the right behavior._** ”

For a moment Makoto stopped her movements in cutting the ropes; as something ugly spread in her chest. This cognition was talking about the way how he had tortured the Devil - which most likely meant that this abuse happened to Akira in real life. He had to genuinely go through this; and he kept quiet about this. Never even mentioned anyone like that being in his life but here they were in the depths of his heart - about to experience what their leader once did.

“P-please not the water!” Morgana immediately spoke up, eyes widening, “W-what is the third option?” He asked, as Makoto proceeded to cut the ropes.

“ _ **Bone breaking.**_ ” The cognition leaned in closer, as the temperature turned a lot colder around them, “ ** _I will break all of your fingers, or arms, or legs - I will let you choose._** ” 

Makoto finally felt the rope loosening around her wrists.


	12. resentment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves battle the cognition; and discover something important within the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! Sorry for the wait!! I started school, so now updates will come in not daily ;-; im very sorry 
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter!! I love all of you and thank you so much for the comments! ❤️

The rope around Makoto’s wrists had loosened, and quietly fell down onto the floor. She gently rubbed the damaged skin; hoping to soothe the irritation and spreading pain. Yusuke glanced at the girl and his eyebrows rose as he saw that she was free. They seriously looked at each other, and the artist nodded his head, slightly moving his chair closer to the new leader and twisting around his palm. Makoto mentally crossed her fingers and threw the lock pick at the boy for some reason expecting for it fall - thankfully; Yusuke had amazing reflexes and caught it, even though that made his chair stumble back and make a lot of noise – alarming everyone around them.

The cognition who was distracted by setting up the equipment immediately turned around and stared at the hostages, “ **Don’t try to play games with me.** ” He warned them with a growl as he turned back to what he was doing.

Unlike Makoto, Yusuke lost no time and began to quickly cut the ropes with the sharp end. Now Haru had caught up to what was happening, and mentally prepared herself to be the next one. In a minute; the artist was free and threw the lock pick to the girl - thankfully she also caught it too without a trouble.

“U-uhm... Can you tell us who you are...? Who’s cognition are you?” Asked Makoto; trying to buy everyone more time.

“ **I guess I could share with you something about myself.** ” The man grinned, turning around with a gun in his hand; which he placed elsewhere, “ **I am the cognition of Yamada Kurusu.** ” Their eyes widened, sure, it was expected, but no way this was actually their Leader’s..

“Are you.. Akira’s father?” Ann asked, blinking in shock. If this was the way how his dad had been treating him - whatever happened to him in real life was inhumane. Ryuji looked down, especially guilty as he thought back to the time when he said to the raven about how he deserved the abuse that happened in the interrogation room. Yusuke also shifted uncomfortably in his place; understanding that Akira maybe had went through the same hell as him - if not worse. How hypocritical from both of their sides.

“ **Only on the picture!** ” The cognition angrily snapped, “ **My wife cheated on me! That fucking bitch! I fucking hate them both! She birthed the Devil! I knew it! That’s why we got turned into demons - it’s all Devil’s fault! He must pay with pain! Pay with pain for life, for love, for friends - for everything!** ” The cognition breathed in and out, trying to calm down it’s rage, “ **That’s the contract with the Master that all of you made - The Executioners.** ” He finished, the thieves looked back and forth between each other in slight confusion. The lock pick by now had been passed to Ann.

“Are we.. hurting him..?” Asked Ryuji, “I-I mean, sometimes we all need a slap or a punch to get our shit together - but we never tortured him!” The boy immediately defended himself, to which the cognition laughed.

“ **I am the master at physical torture, Executioners. But even I stay away from the third floor; that shit is too much to handle.** ” He grinned, “ **Anyway. I am tired of talking - let’s get into my favorite part. Now..** ” the lockpick passed to Ryuji, “ **Who shall I start with?** ” The purple-skinned man raised his hand and decided to choose someone on random.

Makoto had to do something! If the cognition will actually choose someone there would be no way to escape the punishment! _Think fast! Fast! Fast!_

“Oh, look! Behind you!” Makoto gasped, the cognition surprisingly actually turned around to check behind himself; believing the poor act.

The brunette jumped up from her place; wrapping her left hand around the man’s neck and with the right hand stabbing him right in the eye. The moment she had done so - Ryuji stood up to free Morgana; meanwhile the others took a fighting position. The cognition was screaming in agony; as it gripped the small knife inside it’s eyeball and harshly pulled it out - making the blood puddle squirm onto the floor and wall. His suit was now soaked in the red shade.

“ **You bastards!** ” Shouted the man, as he turned around - the empty eye socket was pulsing and regenerating already, while leaking with some disgusting yellow slimy liquid.

“Attack him while he’s still confused!” Makoto ordered to the rest of the thieves and on adrenaline everyone called upon their Personas casting out the strongest attacks.

-

Sojiro was sitting on the boy’s bed, waiting to get an answer from the other. He was quite pissed off after that phone call from earlier; the way how the woman had acted was so ignorant and careless, it made him want to shout at her in pure rage. They were talking about a teenage boy who was hurting himself - daily. This was not just another pet case, but someone’s life that was standing on the edge of distortion.

“Boss..?” Akira suddenly whispered; Sojiro was quickly up on his feet, listening to the boy.

“Hey, kid, you good?” He asked, kneeling closer to the raven and resting his hand on the boy’s shoulder. He looked more alive now; as if he had woken up from some mental shutdown.

“Yeah.. I’m sorry.” The teenager apologized, to which the man exhaled with relief settling in.

“It’s alright, kid. Good that you are back.”

The Boss was not the affectionate type, but he could not hold himself back. Akira by now was like Futaba to him; they were both so similar. Broken by the adults and suffered for too long at such a young age. He stood up and hugged the boy; not expecting for the other to hug him back. He wanted to somehow prove the other that he was there for him and always will be no matter what, even if after his probation will end and he will get sent back to his old house to live with his father; Sojiro would welcome him anytime with an open attic in Leblanc.

“But..” Akira whispered; Sojiro let him go, “It really wasn’t me. They weren’t mine.”

He was still going with it; never agreeing. Maybe this habit of not admitting to anything came after being in the court and then getting interrogated by Sae Nijima. When Akira was desperate to deceive his opponent, it didn’t matter what he had to say but he simply could never agree.

“Kid, listen.” Sojiro sighed, “I don’t know whatcha goin’ through, but you’re not alone, you hear me? You’re not. You have friends who care about you, you have that cat of yours and me.” The man tried to convince him further, “And.. Don’t be ashamed of needing help, you know? You’re a teenager and all, I get it, plus the Leader of the Phantom Thieves, but who said that people like you don’t need help from time to time?” 

Silence.

“Look,” Sojiro continued, “It’s okay to not be okay. We all go through dark times, but some of us have to go through such shit that they fall very deep into their head-“ The guardian lifted up his hand, and ruffled his hand against the boy’s hair. He used to do the same to Futaba, whenever she would have a breakdown in front of him. That was something that he had picked up from Wakaba a long time ago, “-and.. It’s hard to get out- I know. That’s why it’s okay to ask for help.”

“But I am known as _dead_.. Why did you call her?” Akira spoke up, and that was when Sojiro shook his head. He understood that this was indeed logical point.

“Did you really forgot? You were like a secret patient or somethin’, weren’t you? Anyway, don’t worry about it. I will make sure she won’t say anything.” Sojiro tried to reassure him, but that still did not convince the teen enough.

“I don’t want to talk to her; I don’t even know her.” The boy looked away; Akira felt weird emotion spreading inside of him that he could not understand.

“H-huh?” The guardian blinked, “What do you mean you don’t know her? Dr. Gira, your Psychaitrist? Your father gave me her phone number saying that she used to secretly prescribe you medicine?” Sojiro tried to remind him; but the raven shook his head.

“I don’t know who you are talking about.. I am serious.” He added at the end, so that the man would understand that he was not lying just to escape the situation.

“Hold up..” Sojiro furrowed his eyebrows, “You don’t know Dr. Gira?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Hm..”

Sojiro began thinking that maybe he got the wrong Doctor; maybe Akira was right about cancelling the session, at least until he will be known as alive and not searched for by the police. Even though the man was worried about the boy’s mental state, what worried him more that raven was not lying when he said that he does not know anything about that woman. Could that all have been a trap?

It would be safer to cancel after all, and just personally keep an eye on the teen.

“Alright.. I will see how I can get you out.” Sojiro furrowed his eyebrows; Akira exhaled with relief, “But-“ the boy tensed once again, “-the moment you will deal with Shido, we will look for a professional for you immediately. Got it?”

At first raven did not answer, he just shifted one leg over another, and chewed on his lower lip as suddenly-

-

The Phantom Thieves had been battling the cognition for 30 minutes now, and surprisingly it was going down with a massive success. Makoto had learned how to sneak up behind the man at the right time and stab either his eyes; cut his ankles; throat or neck. These damages would distract him and lower his defense which gave them an amazing opportunity for combinations and other attacks.

“We’re almost there!” Haru said happily, as she casted a Psy attack with her Persona.

“This one was actually a lot easier than the pervious two!” Ryuji added, while swinging Captain Kid at their opponent who groaned in pain.

In reality, their enemy was as strong as the others - it’s just now they were finally acting in sync and had a strategy. Makoto was finally acting like a true leader and managed to collect everyone into a synchronized team. She did not even have to order them anymore - they all perfectly knew what they were doing, when to dodge or when to guard. They had never gained that many experience from the fight before, but here they were fighting at their full spirit. _When was the last time brunette had felt so powerful?_ It’s been a while, but she _loved it._

“ **DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU! D A M N Y O U!!** ” The cognition screamed as he clapped his hands together, “ **IF I SHALL FALL THEN I WILL TAKE YOU ALL WITH ME, DIRTY EXECUTIONERS!** ” They all saw a massive magic spell slowly form itself in the air - about to explode right above the man’s head.

“Everyone guard! Hide behind something!” Morgana shouted in alarm, as he himself crouched under the chair. The rest of the thieves did a similar thing - hiding behind the torture machines or fully covering their head with their hands while facing away in the corner.

_ The man exploded.  _

But unlike how this would happen to some shadows - this was _horrifying_. The light blinded them just for a moment, and when they opened their eyes they saw that everything around them was in blood. In the middle was a body with it’s upper body torn off. The legs and half of a torso still stood; while jerking from time to time. Intestines were hanging out of the open stomach, as all kinds of liquids began to pour out like a fountain from the dead cognition.

What made the thieves truly paralyzed in place was that from head to toe they were soaked in blood and small particles of other organs like brain or muscle tissues. Ann froze in her place; she did not feel victorious anymore - simply _scared_. Too scared to move, think or talk. She was not the only one, they all sat in their places collecting themselves as nausea danced in their stomachs.

-

-he felt a sharp pain hit him like a rock on the head. Everything around him blurred in an instant, and to stop himself from falling the raven had to grip tightly Sojiro. The guardian was talking to him and saying something, but Akira could not hear him. The voice of the man sounded so far away, and seemed to be repeating itself over and over again like a broken record. For some reason the boy’s heartbeat picked up it’s pace; as suddenly the walls felt like they were zooming in on him and were going to crush him alive.

_The was something inside his brain_ \- he suddenly thought - as he cupped his face and began violently shaking his head. It sounded like someone put drums inside his ears and constantly banged them without stopping. He felt _miserable_.

Akira jumped up on his legs and ran downstairs; he had no idea what was happening to him or where he was even going, but he had to hide somewhere. This sudden feeling of despair; of dejection; of melancholia. It physically hurt him - something was tearing apart his heart. _Fear_. He was running downstairs but his legs were not listening to him, as he tripped against him own foot and fell flat against the floor. Sojiro was already next to him, lifting up his head while violently shaking it and checking wether raven was okay.

“What the hell got into you?!” The guarding asked; and Akira could finally hear him. He had no idea what to say, because he himself did not know the answer.

“Something happened! S-Something happened! They’re coming! T-They’re coming!” He replied and he himself was surprised at how scared his own voice sounded; it was the fear of unknown. Like a shift in his understanding of reality and cognition-

-

Makoto was the first one to recover from shock that nested itself inside her heart as she took a sharp breath in, while standing up. The torches inside the room were still lightened up, which was good news. They still had light and now a perfect opportunity to investigate.

“G-guys.. We have to get up.” She said gently to everyone; which took a moment before they reacted.

Ann and Haru almost screamed as the corpse finally fell forward and splashed the blood right at them; making their eyes tear up from fear once again. This looked like an actual dead body - _a corpse_. The way how it kept slightly shifting; as more liquids and fluids were pouring out from the insides was the most unsettling thing that the brunette had ever seen before in her life. The smell was probably the worst part - it smelled like _vomit_ , which made her own inside tickle. She was not the only one, as soon behind her she heard one of her teammates coughing and throwing up right onto the floor everything that they ate - it was Ann. Haru tried to stay by her side and calm her down; but they knew that this was impossible. The things that happened in this room have burned into their memory.

“L-let’s use Goho-M and..” Makoto suggested; but got stopped by Morgana who deeply breathed in and out.

“I can sense the Will Seed around here. We cannot leave just yet.” The cat explained, while casting a healing spell on everyone which full filled their HP meters together with cleaning up their thief outfits.

“I-“ Ann sobbed, as she covered her face with her hands, “I- I want t-to g-go home-“ she could barely breathe; “T-this is t-too much f-for m-me-“ another sob; everyone furrowed their eyebrows.

“Panther..” Ryuji whispered.

“W-we’ve b-been t-to s-so m-m-many P-Palaces b-before-“ she continued, while crying into her hands, “-b-but n-nothing h-has e-ever b-been t-this s-scary..” she stooped talking, while rubbing her eyes over and over again.

“Panther..” Morgana walked up to the girl who seemed to be the most effected by gore, “Maybe you, Noir and Skull can use Goho-M and meet up with Oracle outside..?” He suggested, to which the delinquent protested.

“And leave yall alone in this hellhole?! Heck no! This is legit suicide from both parties!” He had a point, Makoto thought. Usually Akira would know what to say to reassure them all, but personally brunette was not the best with words. It was strange doing all of this without their Leader next to them; it made her realize that even though they had always felt strong - they were still _weak rookies. That power that they felt before was an illusion._

“After hearing this cognition talk.. my opinion on our Leader has changed,” Yusuke all of a sudden spoke; as he confidently got up on his legs, “I’ve been treated poorly by my Sensei my whole life and before I thought that Joker was just like him - the power abuser.” Artist weakly smiled, “Instead.. He was the same victim to a rotten adult just like myself. I’ve been truly blind, haven’t I?” He chuckled; everyone had mixed thoughts about the boy’s monologue, so they did not comment much. Still, it reassured Makoto that maybe not everyone was against their Leader at this point.   
  


They were all slowly starting to understand what was happening. 

-

-was suddenly making him feel gravity a lot more. His body was heavy, almost impossible to lift up as suddenly imagines in his mind began to flash right in front of his eyes. _What the hell was happening to him?_

“Who’s coming? Kid, do I need to call Takemi-san? Is your concussion acting up or something? Did you take any drugs?” There were too many questions; and Akira did not feel like he could answer even one. His lips were moving but no sound was coming out. 

“Alright!” Sojiro said once again, a lot more serious, “ _Jesus_ , where is Futaba when I need her?” He looked behind himself - outside of a cafe, “I will cancel that damn Psychaitrist, but I have to call Takemi. You’re seriously worrying me, and you know, I’m responsible for you.” The guarding got up, while brushing his hands against his clothes, “This is a long day..” He mumbled to himself as he opened the door and disappeared behind it in order to get help.

Akira’s eyes rolled up, as he tried to shift himself to the other side-

-

“Panther, can you stand up?” Asked Yusuke, as he walked up to the scared girl. She shook her head, “Very well, then let’s investigate this room meanwhile Panther and Noir can stay here.” 

“N-no, d-don’t l-leave us a-alone-!” Ann panicked, to which Makoto quickly replied.

“Don’t worry, we are all still in the same room.” She smiled at girl, eventually convincing her enough to simply sit quiet in one spot. They still had around 30 minutes to investigate and find the Will Seed that was hidden. 

Yusuke, Makoto and Ryuji all picked up some of the torches so that they could properly see where exactly they were going and what they were looking at. There was a door - Makoto suddenly noticed, but as she tried to open it, it did not give in. It was shut close. As they investigated further they realized that there were no more hidden passages, holes nor secret ventilations. The brunette stood there thinking: _sure, the Will Seed could be behind the locked door but knowing Akira would his subconscious really leave something that important on such an obvious spot?_

The girl leaned herself against the wall to think - and that was when she heard a “ ** _click_** ” right under her touch. She jumped at the sound; awaiting for something to happen in fear, but nothing came. Once her anxiety had vanished, the girl brought up her source of light to the wall and noticed that one of the stones got imprinted inside, as if it was a button. 

“Everyone, look!” She exclaimed, while pointing her finger at her discovery, “There could be more like these around this room! Let’s find them!” 

“Amazing attention to detail, Queen.” Yusuke praised her, which made her slightly blush, but she quickly brushed that off and focused on their task once again. If she were to be honest, the more time she had spent in the Palace, the more it began to actually feel like they were inside Akira’s heart. 

The Phantom Thieves or to be more precise Yusuke and Makoto had eventually found all the buttons that were hidden around the room and pressed them all. After the last stone got imprinted into the wall; they all gasped at the ground slightly shaking. Ann and Haru flinched, as they covered their own heads - expecting another nightmare to come. Instead the wall that was in front of the locked door cracked open which revealed to them another hidden room. Inside was a familiar looking flower with a skull on top of if that shined with red. By now the color was sickening, Makoto thought, as she walked up and collected the Will Seed. 

**The Will Seed of Resentment.**

-

-which caused him major pain in the ribs. He probably did not move his body right which triggered another wave of pain. The sweat piled up on his forehead, as panic was not just on the surface, but began to crawl under his skin like poison. 

He had no idea for how long he stayed in this position; with mind blank from thoughts or voices as he finally heard the other two people coming back in. He recognized the steps immediately - the heels clicking against the floor were definitely the boots that Tae wore on daily basis and the quiet, gentle steps were Sojiro’s Italian shoes with a soft outsole. 

Seeing Doctor’s face brought him some peace at last as she leaned over him to take a closer look. Her presence was so calming, he thought, that he could finally relax and close his eyes just for a second. 

-

Futaba had been chatting with the cognition for a while now; at the same time constantly glancing at the clock in the kitchen where they were sitting. The demon had no intend of harm in her; it was the opposite - she just sat calmly while talking about anything. The hacker had never seen cognition who had such a welcoming personality and an actual ability to keep up the conversation for this long. She did not have a limit of a single line; but seemed like an actual person. Like a.. _mom_. 

It was strange. Futaba heard that the demon confessed to abusing her son whenever she was not sober; _but then why was she acting so nice to her? Could it be something to do with her being a Saint?_

“What’s troubling you, Saint?” Asked the demon, as she gently bit down on one of her claws. Her eyes were looking straight at the girl - shining with gold. Her features were similar to a cat, Futaba noticed, as she took a bite of a cookie ( _that Itsumi brought a few minutes ago_ ) and replied.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” She asked, to which the woman instantly had an answer to.

“The Saint can help the Devil, of course.” The way how she said that sounded like Futaba was so silly for not knowing the answer, “Bring him on the right path to rehabilitation.” 

“ _Rehabilitation_..” Futaba whispered; sudden images of Akira’s damaged wrists flashed in her mind, and her heartbeat picked up its pace in panic, “How can I help him..?” 

“I don’t know, Saint. I’ve also got turned into a demon after giving birth to him. There’s nothing that I’d now of holy nature.” She answered; and hacker groaned at the uselessness of the information. 

Suddenly the ground violently shook under their feet; making every furniture in the house jump up. The cup of tea that the demon was holding loudly shattered against the floor; the chair on which Futaba was sitting fell to the ground - she had enough time to jump up on her feet and grip the velvet curtain with her palms in order not to fall herself.

That was when she saw it - blood leaking from the corner of the ceiling, slowly dripping down onto the floor, forming a puddle. Panic hit her like a rock, as she imagined her friends slaughtered and helpless on the second floor of the Torture Chamber. _Was this their blood?_ Or just a decoration of the Palace? The hacker looked up at the demon cognition who looked appalled.

“Executioners... Really did execute the Warden of the Second floor..” she mumbled to herself; almost too shocked to accept the truth. Futaba furrowed her eyebrows but immediately understood that most likely the thieves were safe. They had won whatever battle that they had. 

She checked the time - it was almost up, so she decided that it would be better to just use Goho-M and either wait for the rest of the guys outside the mansion or in the real world. As she pulled out an equipment; Futaba jumped at the sudden shouting from the demon cognition.

“Saint!” She almost screamed right into her ears; while gripping with her clawed hands the palms of the hacker girl; making her freeze, “ _Will they kill me too?! Will Executioners destroy me too?!_ ” Futaba swallowed, as she felt bad to say the truth right into the demon’s eyes. Even more, that was too dangerous and risky.

“ _I will make sure they won’t hurt you if you will.. behave_.” The girl cracked a weak smile whole lying through her teeth; the demon relaxed her muscles and let her go.

“Thank you, Saint. Thank you.” The demon rolled down onto her knees; looking depressed as never before, “ _So.. he’s gone.._ ” was the last thing that Futaba heard as she teleported herself into the field outside of the mansion.

The breeze hit the girl’s face; letting her breathe in the lungs full of fresh air. It smelled like rain - an actual rain, and not blood how the other thieves have described. She was curious about what exactly had caused such massive changes in the weather and wether it could be connected to Akira’s mental state or no. 

“Oracle!” She turned around - seeing the rest of her friends walking towards her. They were okay! They were alive! She smiled at them and waved; but her smile dropped as she saw shuddering Ann and Haru, hugging each other in comfort - staring at the ground as they walked next to the others. 

“Are you two alright?” Futaba asked the two girls; to which Makoto put a hand on her shoulder and shook her head. 

“We battled a cognition of Joker’s father.” Yusuke spoke up, his voice shined with elegance, “The brutality of the finale has effected Panther and Noir especially.” He said, even though it did not explain much of what had happened.

“But the good news is-“ Makoto butted in, as she pulled out something from a leather bag behind her, “-we found the Will Seed of Resentment.” The hacker inspected it close; with some sadness.

“ _Resentment_.. huh..” she wondered aloud; that was when Ryuji included himself into the conversation. 

“Actually, I have no idea what resentment means.” He confessed; and the rest groaned in frustration, “Oh, c’mon! Just explain!” He begged Makoto, to which the girl agreed. 

“Resentment it’s.. like a negative emotion that you feel when you have been treated unfairly in a situation. It’s not like a physical pain, but it’s a heavy mental baggage. It can bottle up within your heart and eventually become distorted. Forgiveness is one of the ways to get rid of resentment.” The brunette explained the best as she could, to which delinquent suddenly exclaimed.

“So! If Joker forgives people who had done him wrong-“ 

“Forgiveness is not such an easy thing. Sometimes we don’t even realize that we hold a grudge against someone.” Futaba said, interrupting the boy, “It takes a lot more. It’s a real battle with yourself.”

“I’m still unsure wether I’ve forgiven my Sensei or no..” Yusuke said, “But seeing that cognition had opened my eyes.” He walked up to Futaba, as if he had ‘taken her side’ in a way.

_ “Joker needs us. We cannot abandon him any longer.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know how many people look at the comments where from time to time I answer questions, but here are some important ones that I think it’s good to know/understand: 
> 
> \- “If they don’t care about Akira’s wellbeing and showed ignorance towards him, why are they infiltrating his Palace?”  
> Answer: That is because in the previous chapter Makoto stated that if Akira would lose his cool during the final battle with Shido how it had happened in Mementos then they would lose. At the moment Makoto and Yusuke are the only ones who by now have changed their original ideals.
> 
> \- “Why did Akira’s Father cognition blew up/How did the thieves even win in there?”  
> Answer: Eyes where the cognition’s weakness, since they kept attacking it and used it to confuse their opponent, he simply could not manage to properly attack them back. The reason why the cognition blew up is because it had followed up Akira’s thought on his father that the other would rather fall than admit that he was in the wrong or that he was defeated by someone else. 
> 
> \- “Why did Ann/Haru got scared?” (Asked on a different social media)  
> Answer: Because they had witnessed an actual gore scene and got scared. It’s a normal reaction, most people would get scared. 
> 
> \- “Why are the Phantom Thieves being so ignorant and selfish?” (This has been asked almost every chapter)  
> Answer: To put it as simply as I can, they were toxic, and most of them still are. But also don’t forget the fact that human emotions/behavior is a lot more complicated than just being toxic. I will explain everything a lot better in the next chapter. 
> 
> Hope that has cleared up some things! ❤️


	13. better be an abuser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sojiro thinks slightly about Akira’s mother — meanwhile the boy himself goes missing until the Phantom Thieves find him once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) thanks for the comments once again! I love all of you and I can’t believe that there r ppl out there who actually like this story!! Thank u sm again ❤️ ✨ yall r so precious ☺️  
> 2) 2am for me and i am too tired to properly edit  
> 3) went to emergency today bcs my braces broke so i swallowed some metal which scratched my throat open ;-; and now it hurtszzzz  
> 4) finished p5r today and chose the bad ending bcs honestly... if you know then you know why

“Hello? That’s Sojiro Sakura, we talked earlier.” The man had decided to call the doctor the moment Takemi had left. She said that Akira simply suffered a massive panic attack triggered by an unknown source. She reassured him that this was not a rare sight, and all that the boy needed was a good nap for an hour or two.

So, now he was sitting downstairs in the Leblanc with a cup of freshly made coffee in his right hand and a phone to his ear in his left while dialing the Psychaitrist.

“ _Right—is something the matter?_ ” Dr. Gira asked; with a glint of only half-listening to whatever the other was saying.

“I want to cancel the session for tomorrow. There was a mistake, that’s all.” He said, getting ready to hang up so that this conversation won’t go south, but the next words stopped him.

“ _So.. He forgot me or manipulated you into not talking with me?_ ” Dr. Gira on the other side chuckled; the guardian furrowed his eyebrows in pure confusion and confliction.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked; a bit curious even though his voice came out angry - which was not intended, “Ah, I apologize for my tone.”

“ _That’s alright—I’m surprised you’re still so stable, actually. Can you tell me.. What is Akira like at the moment?_ ” She asked, and the question came out so suspicious. What a strange thing to ask. What the hell did she mean by that?

“Who the hell are you?!” Sojiro now snapped at the woman. She must have been a spy, or someone of that sort. He had to quickly somehow cover up everything, “Listen, I made a huge mistake. The kid who I am hosting at the moment is Akiya Kurusu. They happened to have similar backgrounds, and your phone number got into my hands by accident. End of discussion-“ as he was about to press on the button, he gasped at her last words to him.

_ “People like Akira cannot be fixed, he is just like his mother.” _

He hung up. 

_What was she talking about? Manipulation? Deceiving? Forgetting? Just like his mother?_

Sojiro sighed once again, as he shifted himself  up onto the stool in front of the bar. The TV was playing on the background, muffing most of his thoughts together with a sip of a strong, black coffee.

The man lied before when he told Dr. Gira that he knew only the basics ; he had actually known quite a lot about the true story. He had personally met Akira’s mother 17 years ago, when she was staying in the Tokyo for job reasons with her husband. The woman immediately caught his eye the moment she walked in together with Yamada into a bar where Sojiro used to often have a drink or two, while giving out everyone present the sweetest smile of hers. Her lips had always shined with a crimson gloss, meanwhile her aura sparkled with cherries. She was _special_ , _always_ had been.

Yamada Kurusu was a lot taller than her, around 180cm, meanwhile she was around 165cm, but her excessively high heels had always made up for her height bringing her figure up by a few centimeters. She was very good with makeup, and naturally stunning. The moment her ghost had walked into Sojiro’s life, it most likely stayed in there forever. 

_Until this day she haunts him._

He would not say that he felt any romantic feelings towards the woman, and he perfectly knew to stay away since she was taken.

Even though, Itsumi was just so _cunning_. He remembers it clearly; the way how the pair sat down on the table next to his as they talked. She was the type of woman to dress in a very attractive way - not scared to show herself. She had white as a snow skin, wore crystal blue eye contacts and had her hair dyed into toxic _red_. Apparently it was her favorite color, she always repeated that over and over again while keeping up her aesthetic for years.

Itsumi was a life gambler. Playing around here and there; talking to strangers while her husband was not looking; buying one drink over another and staying sober, but that still did not stop her from dancing away her youthful energy. Meanwhile Yamada always sat further away simply observing her. That was kind of how Sojiro met him, he decided one day to come up to the man and keep him company which led them to talking about all kinds of things.

Yamada was a serious, conservative and to be frank - dull person. He had most interest in his job, but, he did have a weird obsession with his young wife. Itsumi was only 19 when she had married him, which was way too young in Sojiro’s opinion. She was still a child herself that wanted life of a party. Even though one misfortune after another fell onto her shoulders she always stayed strong. Sojiro truly admired her, she was truly different. Itsumi helped everyone; formed bonds with the whole town; loved animals; took amazing care of herself and more. So many more. She was smart, she was sporty, she was charming, she was proficient-   
  


_ Itsumi was a package of perfection it seemed.  _

Everything went downhill when she got pregnant with Akira. For a while she played it out as if it was Yamada’s child; but it all danced against her the moment the boy was actually born. He was the exact copy of his mother and his biological father. That moment their life in Tokyo had ended; and Itsumi together with Yamada moved back into their hometown.

The next time Sojiro would see her would be 8 years later - already in Leblanc, and he would not be able to recognize her at all. Her crimson hair, vulgar outfits and high heels would still be there but life from her eyes would be gone. 

She was broken.

“I don’t know what to do.. Sojiro.” She admitted, as he made her a cup of coffee on the house while listening carefully to what she had to say, “Maybe.. I should give him up for adoption.” 

“Itsumi.” The man sighed, “Of course, if you feel like you cannot take care of the kid why not look for someone who you know and trust to take care of him? Heck knows what might happen to him if you just abandon him like that.” He said in a low tone, while picking up the dish from the sink and wiping it gently with a dry towel. 

“I’m a.. horrible mother, aren’t I?” She chuckled, but it sounded so sad and broken, “All I do.. Is drink. I let my son witness the abuse.. Gosh.. I.. I failed, Sojiro. I really failed. I don’t know how to get out. But..” she gripped the cup in her hold, “Is it.. bad to say that _I hate my child?_ ” Someone who used to be so perfectly, had really fallen apart. 

Sojiro raised his eyes at her as she was looking down; tears were streaming down her cheeks, but sobs were not coming out. She was most likely not even aware of the fact that she was crying. Itsumi was usually never this open about herself and her personal thoughts nor feelings, but today seemed like a special day. She needed to talk; and the man was ready to listen.

“Do you?” He asked, calm and collected. 

“Yes.. But at the same time I love him so much that I would die for him, Sojiro.” Itsumi whispered, “Sometimes I see his face when I’m drunk; I see how he looks at me. He’s only 8, but his face expression is already drained in pity for me. And that.. angers me so much. I’m not angry at him, I’m angry at myself that.. I couldn’t be the good mom for him. The more I think about it - the longer I look into his eyes—Something just snaps in me and- and- it takes me over and I- I-“ she hesitated saying whatever that was playing on her thought train; but the cafe owner already caught up.

“Itsumi.. _Do you hit your kid?_ ” He asked in shock. The girl who he had met years ago at the bar loved children so much; always criticized mothers who abused their offsprings, but..

Her silent treatment lasted for a while, which basically could be translated into a “ _yes_ ”.

“I always apologize after.. I hug him and tell him how much I love him.. I beg him for forgiveness. I cry on his shoulder.. He’s only 8.. But he’s the only comfort that I have.” Itsumi said with a sad frown on her face, “The worst part.. Is that I can’t protect him from bullies at school.. I can’t protect him from Yamada.. and now I can’t even protect him from myself.” Sojiro grunted at that; not sure of what to say.

“Why is he bullied at school?” He decided to ask, in a dry voice. 

“Akira... He.. Gets in trouble a lot. We are often called into school. Sometimes he breaks school supplies, sometimes he draws on the walls in the bathrooms, sometimes he rips the pages in library books..” she suddenly cracked a smile, “You’d think a child like him would be miserable and depressed.. but it’s like he’s cursed and looking for only more trouble.” Itsumi chuckled at that; but it did not sound like she was actually having fun talking about this. There was so much depression hanging on her shoulders; like a monster sitting on her back, “I kind of wish I was like that.“

“You don’t.” Sojiro sighed, “He’s coping by destroying things. This won’t end good, Itsumi. It’s not always that children who grow up in abusive homes become the victim - they might become an abuser in the future.” He said seriously, speaking from experience.

“Just like me, huh.” Itsumi snorted at that; but the smirk did not reach her eyes. The man did not say anything, “Sojiro.” He hummed, “Giving birth to him was the best mistake that I have ever made..” she said with a distant look in her eyes, “I told him a few days ago.. ‘ _Akira, no matter what.. Please, don’t be kind. Be evil. This world is so, so cruel to kind or weak people. Your hometown will eat you like dogs. So be evil, spread malice. Be the Devil that they want you to be_ ’. I always say similar things like this to him, because I want to protect him like that. It’s better to be the abuser than a victim.” 

“It’s better to be none, Itsumi.” She changed, god, she changed so much that it almost hurt his ears to hear this familiar voice say such twisted things, “Is that why he keeps getting in trouble at school..?” 

“Maybe.” She giggled again; closing her eyes and tilting her head to the side, “God played a cruel game, so that was my way of fighting back.”

“You’re not making any sense..”

“I don’t _want_ to make any sense anymore. I just hope that Akira is going to be alright in the future.” This phrase should have alarmed him, but it didn’t, because he was way too stuck on overthinking her words. Maybe he should have called child services, but it felt wrong for some reason. 

Itsumi stood up from her place and put the lock of her hair behind her ear. The beauty was still there, but her heart had become so distorted over these years. So rotten. 

“Goodbye, Sojiro. You.. were an amazing friend.” 

A week later he found out that she had attempted suicide by cutting her wrist open - but her son called for help in time. A year later she tried again; with Akira saving her once more.

_ She had officially committed suicide by hanging herself in the living room; Akira being the first one to discover her body when he was just 12 years old.  _

-

“Hey, kid-“ Sojiro called out; shrugging himself off his thoughts, while putting the cup into the sink to wash later. He brushed his palms against his pants, while walking up the stairs, “-Want to-“ his voice went mute as shock spread through his veins. The window right above the bed was open wide; letting the cold wind inside. The blanket was half hanging off the bed with Akira missing. His bag with supplies that he had packed earlier was nowhere to be found either.

“Shit.” 

-

The Phantom Thieves had exited the Palace and breathed in the fresh air the moment they landed back into the student council room. Ann slipped down the wall and let herself shut her eyes for a moment. Ryuji let himself fall flat against the floor while spreading out his limbs; not giving a damn about the hygiene at this point.. or ever. Futaba and Morgana stood still in their places; staring at the hacker’s phone. Makoto and Yusuke were leaning against the tables while collecting themselves. 

Akira’s Palace must have been the most mentally exhausting Palace that they have ever been into. The thing was that it was not colorful, silly and bizarre how the other Palaces from their experience had been, no, it was basically a slaughter house. The battles with cognitions were more realistic rather than in the Metaverse style. There weren’t many enemies but almost every single one that they’ve met so far was so strong - that it was _unimaginable_. The place tricked them with their size too, pretending to be an easy bait, when in reality almost every step that they would take could signal in the most unexpected turns of events. 

“I don’t want to go back there.” Said Ann, as she hugged her knees close to her chest. Haru was already by her side, with her hand on the blonde’s shoulder, “I.. I really don’t.” 

“Lady Ann..” Morgana jumped on the table; looking down at the girl with a frown across his face. He was not judging her; more like pitying her. 

“The thing is—“ she started, “-I’m mot sure if we will actually walk out of there alive.” Makoto’s eyes widened.

“Yo, but, we DID defeat the purple dude-“ Ryuji tried to argue with her.

“Ryuji, think! We defeated him ONLY because Makoto thought of a sneak attack and stabbed his eyes! What if she did not do that?! We would have all been dead without knowing his weakness!!” She was right, there was no doubt about it, “And.. And I would really rather not to die!” 

“I agree that the Palace was torturous — we have accessed the Torture Chamber, after all — but we must end the challenge that we have accepted. Akira is our dear leader; the least we could do is save him. Just how he had saved you from Kamoshida and myself from Sensei.” Yusuke spoke up; it was interesting to see how after seeing the cruel reality for himself - his opinion had totally changed. Same as Akira he used to hide his feelings, and even protest against the reality that he was being abused by his caregiver. Seeing Yamada’s cognition had reminded him that he owed Akira. Partially, he owed the raven his whole life. 

“It’s different! Back then we had extreme situations and deadlines! There was no choice and— it-“ she stuttered, “It was just _different_!” 

“But Ann, haven’t you seen what is going on inside Akira’s heart-? Shouldn’t we free him from this hell?” Brunette suggested while stepping forward; she had to bring back the motivation to the confidants who were shaky. She was the current leader after all, “We are the only ones who can do this, Ann.”

“ _Can we?_ ” She asked, “Can we really do this? Look into my eyes and answer: can we actually do this?”

“Yes.” Makoto nodded, even though the confidence was not at the full level in that answer.

“You’re lying, Makoto. We all know that the chances of rotting in that place are high.” Ann hissed in pilling up frustrated anger within her, “Do you think I’m that blind?” She stood up; Haru tugged at her sleeve as if trying to make her sit back down, but blonde harshly brushed her hand away and took a step towards Makoto, “Do you even _care_ about _Akira_?”

“H-huh?” The brunette blinked in shock at the question, “Of course I do!” She defended, with slight hurt in her voice.

“Oh, my! Is that so?” Ann placed her hands on her hips, “Because to me it looks like someone simply wants to shine as a Leader.” The blonde spatted out, “I can _SEE_ IT, Makoto! All that’s on your mind is to complete the Palace as a new Leader. You don’t actually care about Akira - what you care about is for him not to go berserk during the final battle. You see him as a weapon, don’t you-?!”

“I don’t!” Makoto shouted back at her; feeling knife slicing her heart, “You have no right to accuse me like that-!”

Suddenly a flashback appeared right in front of her eyes of all times when they would scream at Akira. Blame him in their mistakes. Call him even names sometimes. And the way how he would shrug it off, not even make them apologize after the nth time that it would happen. Makoto had never realized how much it had actually mentally hurt to be talked down to like that; and that was when guilt began eating her up. Because maybe.. _Ann was right._

“I do! Because I might not seem like it, but I care about him! I know I did mistakes, I know I’ve said things I shouldn’t have but at least I have guts to accept it!” Ann shouted only more, “You’re using his Palace for your benefit! This is a bad idea to keep going! I see it now!”

“Ann.” Yusuke interrupted them, “I understand where your concern is coming. I care about Akira, truly, and I wish to apologize. I personally think the best way we could ever free him from misery is to destroy these horrific cognitions and steal the Treasure. We must destroy his delusional desire.” Artist stood strong on his opinion; Ryuji rubbed the back of his head from stress.

“We are throwing away our lives!” Ann fought back, “What if we die there?!”

“We won’t let that happen.” Morgana spoke up, “But me and Futaba also do not agree on infiltrating this Palace. It’s too personal. We are invading Akira’s privacy.”

“But we are saving him-!” Yusuke spoke up; Futaba pointed up her finger.

“We don’t really know what we are doing, do we?” She questioned, “Ann is right. Without us you would definitely be dead, and even though me and Morgana do not support infiltration - we will go if the rest of you will. The death risk is the exact reason why.” The hacker said while typing something on her phone all of a sudden.

“I know we don’t have access to the whole knowledge, but not all people are capable of asking for help. Futaba, you and me were victims to the abuse of that soft. We must understand better than anyone else how hard it was to get help! We _MUST_ help!” Artist tried to convince her; to which the hacker just made a troubled face.

“I- I know that I don’t get too much shit about all of this but having a Palace is bad, you know?” Ryuji decided to voice out his concern, “And if Akira has one we gotta get rid of it. It’s for his sake.”

“We must at least do it properly!” Ann put her hand on her chest, “Maybe talk to him or something! That place was too. fucking. dangerous!” She reminded them all once again, while sharply breathing out with rage crossed all over her face.

“Ann, I think you need to calm down.” Suggested Makoto, but the words came out a lot ruder than intended.

“I’m-“

“No, Makoto is right, Lady Ann.” Who could it have been, but none of the thieves ever expected for Morgana to be the one to confront the blonde about her behavior. Even the model herself was taken aback while staring at the cat in shock, “Palace is indeed dangerous and I understand why you would be afraid. Makoto is not doing this because she wants to prove that she is a better Leader, but because we chose her as one - remember?” Ann nodded, “Lady Ann, I know you’re scared and fear can push people onto many things. Me and Futaba tried to push you away from that place out of fear of all of you getting hurt. But, you all must understand that if all of you are going to be arguing like this with each other over him - he’d be hurt too.” The cat sat down and while giving an eye to everyone present, “Me and Futaba had personally believed that slowly talking with Akira will eventually lead to the Palace collapsing on it’s own; but the distortion exists since August if not from earlier, and we are unaware of his desire. I think the reason why Akira’s control over his powers had became so unstable is due to..” the cat breathed in and out; unintentionally building up tension.

_ “Akechi’s betrayal.”  _

The Thieves looked around each other and gave Morgana a weird stare, but the cat ignored that and before they would throw too many questions at him all at once - he decided to continue his thought.

“It is a gut feeling—I based this off from what I had seen, heard and analyzed, but I could be wrong.” The cat quickly added, “In any way, here is my opinion on this situation. There are extremely low chances of Akira loosing control in the battle over his powers, but the possibility is still there. So, let’s do this like that. We will vote on what we want to do and explain our answer. Alright?” They all nodded, Ryuji decided to go first.

“I think we should go, man. Because Palaces are bad and shit as I’ve said before; and even though I’m still confused about Akira lookin’ down on us as the Devil or somethin’, but we might as well just fix that damn heart of his!” The blond grinned; some people in the room either rolled their eyes or also weakly cracked a smile to themselves. Haru went next, as she was to the boy’s right anyway.

“I don’t want to go—“ she breathed in and looked away, “—but at the same time I have to. I know I do, because I’m scared that someone else might find his Palace.. and.. the history might repeat itself.” Everyone winced at the mention of what had happened to the Okumura. But this was also a good point in an argument; Akechi was the one behind the mental and psychotic shutdowns, and if by any chance he’d discover that place - there were chances of him passing by the whole thing and assassination their Leader by using dirtier methods than simple murder. Next up was Ann, who looked hesitant at first but after building up confidence she stated.

“This.. Made me think. I’m sorry for blowing up at you earlier-“ she turned towards the brunette with guilt all over her face.

“It’s alright.” Makoto smiled gently, to which Ann had breathed out sigh of relief.

“-so.. I am scared of that place, don’t get me wrong. I did mean it when I said that I never want to go back; but I.. Now that I have calmed down a bit.. I also remember how at the start of this mission I said, ‘ _I don’t want Akira to end up like Shiho_.’ And.. After seeing what we saw.. I can’t just let a person harm themselves like this any longer - no matter who it is, but especially if it’s Joker.” Ann finally finished her vote; to which the others looked around and gave her a nod. Next was Yusuke.

“I think my answer is already known. I shall go in to save our precious Leader from these appalling nightmares.” The answer was a lot shorter than any other before, but carried as much power. Makoto was the next one to speak.

“Ann was right.” Was the first thing she said, making blonde girl snap her head up in genuine surprise, “I did kind of push on this mission by hiding my true motives at the start. I wanted to know what it was like being a Leader - and I wanted to see the flaws in Akira. To see for myself that after all.. he was not perfect—“ Makoto checked everyone’s reactions, they stayed calm, so she resumed “—and the weird thing is.. while we were doing this mission I could not stop thinking about.. how we did not notice? But then the answer came to me myself, we didn’t want to notice, but Akira’s distorted heart had always been there right in front of us. So, I want to go and infiltrate this Palace as a New Leader and as a friend to Akira. Partially, that’s also my way of telling him that he can depend on us too.” After such a long speech; Futaba was the only one left. So far everyone was voting to go in, but her mindset still did not change. Even though they were a team, it was interesting to see how different their views remained. How separate were their own motives and desires.

“I think you’re all - apart from Morgana - are _horrible_.” Futaba admitted, “Listening to you.. sickens me. I’ve never realized just how.. Toxic all of you were, because you were my saviors.” Everyone glanced up surprised, but the hacker continued without hesitation, “I don’t know if all of you were always like that or changed recently. But I guess there is no point in me saying too much, I’m against this, but if all of you will go I can’t let you all die. So, I will go, but this is against my ideals.” She turned around - her back facing them.

Makoto wanted to argue with the red haired girl, but she bit down onto her lip understanding that partially she was not far away from the truth. They did mentally bully Akira for so long for no reason with the fact that he had been abused his whole life and went through so much suffering.

_ Infiltrating Akira Kurusu’s Palace.. Was this the right thing to do as his friends who had slightly come to their senses? No. Was this the right thing to do in order to avoid the upcoming danger? Yes. Was this the right thing to do as the Phantom Thieves based on the fact that majority had voted for it? Yes. The yes overpowered no, so they only thing that was left on their “to do” list was steal their Leader’s Treasure. _

“Yeah?” They heard Futaba on the phone talking to someone; the muffed voice sounded similar to the owner of a cafe, “W-wait, what?!” Silence; the girl’s face went pale as she listened. Eventually after a while she hung up.

“What’s up?” Asked Ryuji; they were all concerned.

“Akira had a massive panic attack apparently while mumbling weird things. Then, Takemi came over and had to put him to sleep. Now.. He disappeared.” She bit down onto her lower lip, meanwhile everyone rose their eyebrows at the information.

“Could it be that he had a panic attack because we destroyed the cognition?” Yusuke asked; his eyes blinking.

“That means we hit a very sensitive spot..” Haru whispered.

“No shit, that was his dad.” Ryuji said with sarcastic tone.

“Guys! That’s not important at the moment! He went missing!” Morgana reminded all of them, “Futaba, you said you had a tracker on his phone, right—“ that was definitely invasion of privacy, but everyone stayed silent and did not point that out, “—where is it? Please don’t say Leblanc!”

“Good idea, Mona!” Futaba fixed her glasses by pushing them up her nose and opened an app of her phone, “O-oh!” She zoomed in on the screen and jumped towards the door, “The Diet Building, I think he went inside Shido’s Palace!”

“ _Alone_?!” Ann caught up to the hacker; they all did eventually - by now running down the school’s hallway towards the exit.

“That’s _suicide_!” Ryuji shouted, Thank God that most people at school had left or they would look like they stole something and now were fleeting the crime scene.

“Sure, Akira is strong but what does he think he is _doing_!” Ann added to that.

“Why did he go _alone_?!” Ryuji whined; they were now stumbling down the stairs.

“Maybe because we’ve ignored his requests on going?! But he had never done that before!” Makoto felt the knot in her stomach twist, “Wait...” She stopped to catch her breath; they all paused and looked back at her, “He’s looking for us! He thinks we went without him!” She realized; the guilt sink in low into her chest.

“No shit Sherlock!” Futaba rolled her eyes, “Let’s hurry up!”

And they did. They ran down the streets of Tokyo while panting, but not stoping even once. They ran on the red light once - which almost made a car hit Ryuji but they were lucky that he managed to dodge just in time thanks to his Phantom Thief skills. Morgana was in Ann’s hands; feeling a bit carsick from the speed of their running towards the Diet building.

“Open the Nav!” Shouted the blond delinquent and Makoto nodded while she unlocked her phone and pressed on the app - activating the distortion without stopping their movement.

They landed on the familiar looking ship, but without any clue of where Joker was. Pleasantly they had Futaba who thanks to her Persona had scanned the whole area of the ship. Her mouth hung open, as she shouted, “He’s like—very deep in the Palace! Heck! Follow me!”

And they did; they had no time to fight Shadows so they lurked in the dark while moving forward without stopping. Akira could be in danger -and yet he survived for so long in this Palace without any of their help. They’ve been moving for a while now; the areas had become more and more unfamiliar to their sight and the only Shadows that were around and would notice them, actually squirmed away. Even the ones that had a higher level.

That was when they had finally opened the door that led outside - there was a massive pool in there. In the middle of it all Akira was battling a Shadow that turned out had the second letter of recommendation that they needed in order to reach the Treasure. The way how Akira was acting seemed like he did not actually care about the fight at all and wanted to finish it off as fast as possible; so that he could move on already.

“Joker-!” They shouted at him; but he was way too distracted with the fight - plus they were far away.

Futaba sprinted right towards him; but even she stopped and covered her head with her hands when it had happened. Akira called out for a Persona that they have never seen before; but they almost felt the power radiating off it. In fact, hacker’s eyes went round because the Persona was higher than Akira by _6 levels_ , which meant using it was a massive risk. The Persona casted out an attack and wiped an enemy almost immediately; only leaving it with one HP and with status alignment effected by fear.

“Joker!! You can’t use this Persona any longer! _You might kill yourself!_ ” Cried out Futaba in hopes of the raven listening to her; and to her surprise she did notice him still in his place and slowly turn around. His eyes were shining with gold, while the Persona proudly stood behind him like a shield of some sort.

“Dude!” Ryuji happily grinned; the rest also sighed out in relief. Akira pulled out a gun from behind and kept it at the Shadow’s head so that it won’t run away nor do anything funny.

“So.. _I was right_. You were _all_ here.” Akira sadly said; as he furrowed his eyebrows, “You really decided to keep me out.. Well, that’s okay.” He sighs, before any of them could explain anything; raven darts himself forward to the Shadow, “ _Letter. Now_.”

“O-okay, okay, just don’t kill me.” The other murmurs as Joker gets a hold of it; immediately pulling the trigger after - killing the enemy. There was no mercy nor hesitation in the act.

“Here — I got three.” He said; pushing them into Ryuji’s chest. There was so much hidden pain in his eyes that it was almost unbearable to look at.

“Joker! You got it all wrong-“ Makoto tried to speak; but that only made the other snort.

“Yeah, Leader, of course I got it all wrong.” He spatted out. Brunette winced, what was he talking about-, “It’s alright. I’ll follow behind all of you. Since you all don’t want me in the team so badly, I’ll stay behind. Call my name if you ever need me. As an ex-Leader I also must understand when to step away and let my confidants be.” He whispered the last part while walking past them and hiding somewhere.

_ ‘ To be a Leader is to be a guider of the group same as it’s slave. You don’t trust them. You think they’re weak. You’re right. They are, but they’re very good at hurting you, aren’t they? ‘ _

“Well.. Shit.” Ryuji sighed.


	14. you will break him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Futaba questions wether what they are doing is right; Makoto has doubts about her leadership and how she can ever surpass Akira; Sojiro has another talk with the raven boy which makes him realize something very important.. and.. there is another intruder within the Palace of their Leader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) 5k+ chapters lets goooooo  
> 2) the plot twist shall be awaiting yall :3  
> 3) okay on a more serious note. I love writing this fan-fiction with my whole heart, but for some reason it also causes me so much anxiety? So weird lol  
> 4) hope you’ll enjoy!! I love you all ❤️ have an amazing day ✨

They were running down the halls of Shido’s Palace with Akira tagging behind them all and not even showing his face. He did not want to talk, and more than anything he did not wish to listen. They fought some Shadows with raven by their sidemostly acting like support or a knock-out attack. He refrained from using the high-level Persona in front of the others in order not to worry Futaba, but the part of him was annoyed at that. He always had to hold back for their sake. Ever since they’ve met he always had to conceal himself and his true self. His abilities and power to the point that he had abused and reshaped his own personality. 

Actually.. Does he even has a personality? That would be a nice question up for debate. Akira was many things, but deep down.. he knew evil lived within him. For his friends he wanted to lock it up far away; and for himself he wanted to forget about it and keep living this refreshed life. 

Makoto was giving out the commands to all of them with confidence and he had honestly felt something tickle him from within at that. She was good. For how long had she been doing this? For how long was Akira playing to be the Leader meanwhile they actually followed her? _Ironic. Pathetic. Shameful._ Right, she was the one who had come up with the interrogation plan, now it all made sense. What he noticed though was that she did not even tell him a single thing to do nor Futaba - he was surprised; although with the hacker it was more like she did not wish to listen to her. 

“Oracle! Please, give us some HP!” Makoto said in a loud voice but the girl and her Persona did not move; stayed still, “Oracle?!” Brunette thought that maybe hacker did not hear her at first, but now she realized she was being straight up ignored. 

“Oracle, after their next combat you must give them a supply of HP; or we will end up wasting Life Oilment.” Raven decided to speak up; to which the girl turned to face him and nodded - doing exactly as instructed. Akira was confused by this, but.. he would hate to admit it, because that was unfair to Makoto — partially _he was happy_. Futaba listened to _him_. She still saw _him_ as her Leader. She stayed loyal to _him_. 

Makoto on the other hand narrowed her eyes at that and bit down on her lower lip; feeling betrayed. She was completely aware of the obvious dislike that Futaba began to radiate ever since their second infiltration into Akira’s Palace, but this was getting ridiculous. 

Childish. 

_Was it?_

Who was in the right? Who was wrong? 

They ended the infiltration after collecting all Will Seeds from Shido’s Palace and almost finishing up with all letters of introduction. For some reason even though Makoto wanted to push further; she glanced at the team to realize that most of them apart from Akira and Futaba were terribly exhausted. She wasn’t exactly surprised, Akira was a lot stronger than them and the hacker never fought - so that was _obvious_ why these two stood strong on their feet. 

It was painful to see the gaping hole that began to form between them. 

-

**AKIRA’S PALACE**

**Makoto** : Are you all ready to continue exploring akira’s palace tomorrow? 

**Ann** : isnt thats.. too soon? 

**Ryuji** : im still tired man 

**Futaba** : im against this. 

**Makoto** : We are aware, Futaba. 

**Futaba** : im glad, we should stop. 

**Haru** : i am tired too but.. we don’t have much time left with Shido’s Palace. 

**Yusuke** : I must agree; we have to complete our Leader’s Palace before the final battle with the mastermind of mental shutdowns. He also must have enough time for rest and change of heart to settle in. 

**Futaba** : how considerate of you 

**Yusuke** : Thank you for the compliment 

**Makoto** : I think she was being sarcastic.. 

**Futaba** : you think 

**Futaba** : i thought none of u do 

**Ryuji** : dude why are u so mad 

**Ann** : yeah.. I thought we were on the same page 

**Futaba** : no im not 

**Futaba** : im repeating for a 100th time im going with all of you so that you wont die. 

**Yusuke** : Thank you for your humble kindness! 

**Makoto** : Yusuke.. 

**Ann** : its alright; we can disagree on this 

**Ann** : we dont have to agree on everything in order to stay friends 

**Ann** : but! together we’ll help akira! 

**Yusuke** : exactly! 

**Ryuji** : on it! 

**Haru** : gladly! 

**Makoto** : Then I guess all of you are motivated, am I right? Then we shall meet up tomorrow at 5pm in the Student Council Room to go inside Akira’s Palace. 

**Futaba** : you.. 

**Makoto** : What? 

**Ann** : Futaba? 

**Futaba** : you will all break him. 

**[ Futaba had logged out ]**

-

Makoto simply could not understand exactly _why_ Futaba and Morgana were acting this way. They were trying to help Akira and heal his heart. They were going to destroy his distorted desire and free him from this Hell of questioning his own identity. Akira was no Devil, and they were going to make him see that. 

She was certain that she will succeed. But doubt in her abilities was crawling all over her back; because no matter how hard she tried to take up her role, Akira still had a massive influence on all of them. During fights they all, even including the brunette, somewhere deep down still mentally relied on him — and that made her insecure about herself. _Would she ever be as good as him? Would her lack of power and experience ever be able to make up? Would Futaba ever.. accept her as the Leader? Why was Futaba so attached to Akira in the first place? Could it be that the hacker was experiencing some romantic feelings towards the raven or was it pity?_

The girl sighed as she laid in her bed, hearing the door to her and Sae’s apartment shut close. Her sister was home; she should stand up and go greet her! That was exactly what she did as she clumsily stumbled out of her room towards the living room where persecutor was standing - hanging her coat on the hanger in the closet. 

“Welcome home, Sis.” Makoto said in a weak tone; making the other woman raise a questioning eyebrow. 

“Is something the matter?” She immediately asked, sensing the tension from her younger sister even meters away. 

“It’s.. nothing.” The brunette tried to look away and change the topic; to which Sae narrowed her eyes and crossed her hands over her chest. 

“You can’t lie to me, Makoto. It’s alright, I might give you an advice on whatever the matter of issue is.” She tried to give a smile, even though that gesture felt unnatural and unfamiliar. They became a lot closer since Makoto had revealed to her that she was a part of the Phantom Thieves, but there were still aching holes in their relationship that would take a lot of time to heal. _Baby steps_ ; _Akira_ used to tell her. 

_Akira, Akira and Akira! It’s like he’s everywhere! Like a ghost! A.. Shadow._

“It’s about Akira..” she sighed; while sitting down on the sofa. Sae tensed a bit at the mention of the name, but kept straight face through it while placing herself down. Gesturing for Makoto to continue, “I.. I took over as the Leader of the Phantom Thieves, and..” Sae gasped, her eyes blinking in surprise. _Was she impressed or shocked that raven let go off his role?_

“Is Kurusu-kun alright?” She asked instead; the question confused Makoto. 

“What?” Brunette raised an eyebrow. 

“He was quite a Leader; I’m sure you’d be able to do the same, but that’s way too dangerous, Makoto. As a Leader he had to take every blow onto himself, are you sure you will be able to mentally manage such role?” Sae said; anger suddenly began to boil inside the girl. She silently grit her teeth, “Did he give it up because of the events that took place in the interrogation room-“ she was cut off with her younger sister. 

“No, this was the decision made by the rest of us to.. _push him off_ that position.” Makoto admitted; the persecutor covered her mouth with her hand. 

“You _what_?” Brunette was confused about why exactly did her sister sound so appalled, “What was the reason behind such decision..?” She tried to question further; Makoto began to feel like she was not talking things out but being questioned. 

“Akira has not been at his best lately and in the Metaverse lost his control once. We thought it would be too dangerous to _keep him_ as the Leader-“ 

“ _Keep him_?” Sae repeated her words, “I can’t believe you. _Keep him_? What is he? An _object_ -?” The persecutor’s tone was calm but sharp with words. 

“No, that’s not what I-!” the girl tried to defend herself, but Sae raised her palm in the air, which made Makoto go silent. 

“Do you even know what he went through for all of you? He was ready to _sacrifice_ himself. I would not be surprised if a part of him died after what he went through. Even more, he changed for all of you. I think it’s quite normal for him to be a bit more reckless than before. He simply needs time to heal and maybe someone to talk to.” She said, “Makoto, if you wish to be a great Leader then just like Akira you need to start thinking about your teammates first and yourself second.” Was the last thing she said, as she stood up from her place and went towards the kitchen, “Do you want to drink some tea?” 

Makoto was quiet. There were bits of truth in her sister’s words, but something just kept the brunette away from admitting her wrong-doing straight from the bat. She needed time to process and think, thankfully enough Sae was not pushing - simply trying to guide Makoto into the right-thinking direction of personal morals on the right Leadership. 

They called Akira’s Leadership toxic, but could it have been that _they_ were the ones being toxic? He never wished them harm, and the only thing he would constantly ask for was _time_. The only request. He wanted to infiltrate the Palaces usually in one go in order to have more time outside. Akira always craved time now that she thought about it. _Was that because he never had enough of it? Was it because he was losing it? What was it about this time that Akira desired so badly?_

“I’d love to.” 

-

Akira came into Leblanc together with Futaba to Sojiro who was talking on the phone with someone. The moment he saw the two come in his eyes went round and he immediately hung up. His expression went through a whole tornado of emotions - from glint of happiness, to relief, to confusion and then anger. 

“Where the hell did you go?! You were knocked out anyway, where did that energy come from?! Weren’t you sick?! Also— _how in the hell_ you jumpout of that window-?!” So many questions, but Akira did not feel bad from this tone. The man was acting this way because he cared.. _right?_

_‘ Stop this wishful thinking, demon. ‘_

“We found him in Shido’s Palace!” Futaba answered one of the questions while grinning and taking a seat at one of the tables. She showed thumbs up at the raven, making him relax a bit. Futaba was here; she didn’t leave. _She had his back._

He liked to think that Morgana was similar to her, but he could not help but doubt that the only reason that the cat stayed around him was because he wished to investigate the depths of Mementos. The moment Morgana would regain back his memories he would most likely leave.. _Futaba was the only one who stayed behind._

“Where did you get the damn energy from?!” Sojiro groaned still frustrated. Akira came back into reality and weakly smiled while fixing up his glasses. 

“Adrenaline can do a lot of magic.” He shrugged, while taking a seat at the same table as the hacker girl but in front of her. Not wanting to invade too much of her personal space. Futaba’s phone kept buzzing with text messages, to which she responded with an annoyed face. After few minutes of silence Sojiro placed down two plates of curry in front of each teen while mumbling, ‘ _eat up_ ’, meanwhile red haired girl suddenly looked up at the raven with confliction on her face, “What’s up?” Akira asked, as he took a hold on the spoon. When was the last time he felt so casual? It has been a while. 

“Ignore the weirdness of my question, but in theory-“ Futaba began, her hands still clutching the phone, “-if the rest of the Phantom Thieves.. let’s say would somehow find out about your life before Tokyo.. how would you feel?” She asked; the other gave her a weird look. 

“That’s.. an odd question.” The boy thought, “I mean.. there was nothing special about me. I come from a simple family. Ordinary mom and dad, but my dad can be a bit strict from time to time. Mom is rarely home, can’t even _remember_ last time I had _seen her_ actually.” He chuckled at the end; but the girl’s face paled. Eventually with time she swallowed down her anxiety and cracked him a smile while nodding. 

**AKIRA’S PALACE**

**Futaba** : you.. 

**Makoto** : What? 

**Ann** : Futaba? 

**Futaba** : you will all break him. 

**[ Futaba had logged out ]**

-

The next day came around a lot faster than any of them had expected; the time was flying already. They found themselves back inside Akira’s distorted heart. The mansion stood still in the same place as before in the middle of a dark field. This time the setting has changed once again, instead of neatly cut grass it had now grown long and reached towards their waists in lengths. The moon was not milky but filled with crimson. The sky was coated in dark orange and velvet shades; meanwhile, the air stilled in dead silence. 

“Look out!” Suddenly shouted Morgana as he dodged something jumping right at him, and immediately hiding behind the grass once again. 

Even though the hacker’s clothes did not change, she found herself still being able to use abilities that possessed her mask. Futaba looked up at her Persona Readings and her eyes went round at the results that she had seen. Yes, she could see the movement guarding the whole mansion, but.. they were marked as _allies_ and _not_ enemies. She decided to ignore that and simply help out the thieves. 

“Skull and Morgana, to your left! Panther and Noir, to your right! Fox and Queen, coming up behind!” She warned all of them while taking a step behind herself and raising all of their defenses. 

Suddenly the wind began to blow in a storm like way, almost knocking most of them down - making the long grass bent and reveal the opponents that were hiding. 

At Makoto and Yusuke were staring a pair of white wolves. Their fur pattern was the same as that had albino tigers. Their tongues were blue meanwhile their eyes shined with gold. Their tail was also different - it had scales on it together with venomous spikes. The Shadows appeared to be low-leveled but were dangerous to interact with without a proper thought on the action. 

In front of Ryuji and Morgana was a purple sheep with massive wings that kept fluttering together with pride. Its horns were glittering with silver the same as its legs. The Shadow acted intimidating and overpowered with its level the wolves even if they were combined together. Futaba without thinking immediately cast out an anti-magical barrier on Ryuji and Morgana, just in case. 

The most dangerous ones were in front of Ann and Haru - three snakes; or one. Depended on how you would look at it. It was a single body with three heads that were giving off a signal as three different Shadows but weirdly fused together. Due to this anomaly, their abilities were skyrocketing with a glimpse of the dark aura surrounding them. 

“This shall serve us as a warm-up for the third floor, if I may say.” Yusuke smirked a bit, feeling over-confident, but Futaba had a bad feeling swimming in her stomach. 

_These Shadows looked like they went berserk with the influence of a third party. But why? Could that be just another power of this Palace or could they have a different intruder?_

“Don’t relax, guys! They’re very strong!” Futaba shouted at them; while leveling up their attacks, “Refrain from using physical attacks on wolves - they are immune to them!” She warned the thieves; Makoto and Yusuke nodded in understanding while calling for their Personas and aiming with Ice and Nuke at their opponents. 

“Skull, don’t use electricity! It will reflect it! And even though you can resist most of the attack - that is still way too dangerous as you might end up shocking yourself!” The blond delinquent groaned at the instruction, as he pulled out his massive shotgun and targeted she sheep’s face - the Shadow let out a bloodcurdling scream that made everyone close their ears, “Amazing! You found it’s weakness, but it has healing spells! Don’t let it recover too fast!” 

“Got it, Oracle!” Ryuji searched his pockets as he reloaded his gun and fired more shots while trying to send his enemy into a critical state. Meanwhile, Yusuke and Makoto have been trying to work out a combo - the artist tried to lower their enemies’ temperatures to confuse them, which would give Miss President a chance to knock them out. 

“Any tips for us, Oracle?” Ann asked; as she guarded herself from an upcoming attack meanwhile Haru used her Persona to put up an anti-physical shield. It costed less SP and took little time to form which was practical. 

“Yea-“ Futaba clicked on the keyboard in front of her; analyzing the berserk snakes, “There are no weaknesses - that’s for sure! They all have different strong attacks; the left head is the best with fire, the middle is best with psychokinesis and right is best with wind! Which is bad news and good news for you, guys! Try different combinations - your ultimate goal is to knock them out! Try maybe putting at least one head to sleep.” The hacker furrowed her eyebrows as she used her Persona to increase Evasion and Accuracy for everyone, “Everyone try to dodge as much as possible! There is something seriously wrong with these Shadows!” 

And they fought, for a while. Ryuji and Morgana were not the best ones at getting along - especially with the sheep using constantly Electric attacks and harming the cat - Makoto eventually ordered for Morgana to switch with Yusuke, as they discovered that the sheep was weak to ice. The moment they had done that; it took delinquent and artist 10 more minutes to finally, be done with the Shadow that erupted another soul-shuddering scream while vanishing into the thin air. 

With now Morgana and Makoto working together against wolves - it also began to quickly flow into a strategy. Using magical shields and magical attacks almost constantly made the Shadows damage themselves even though they had to admit - all of them were already loosing too much SP which was not good news. Their new Leader had also loudly announced that instead of healing spells they can only use drugs from Takemi, as that would help the thieves stack up on SP. The moment the sheep was defeated; wolves got distracted and looked the other way - giving Makoto and Morgana a chance to attack at the same time each wolf while knocking their bodies against each other; which caused double damage than usual. 

They panted nervously with their blue tongues sticking out; their status alignment showed up as effected by brainwash. Suddenly the right wolf turned around and growled at his ex-ally; the other mirrored this action and in a second they were at each other’s throats trying to bite deeper into the flesh that was hidden beneath the fur. Clawing at eyes, clicking teeth in front of their faces, and scratching bodies open eventually led to the Shadows killing each other and turning into ash. 

Ann and Haru most of the time had to either guard or dodge because the snakes were insanely powerful. Unlike Sheep they did not have any weaknesses to rely on nor could their status alignment be changed. The blonde tried using her sleeping spells just how Futaba had suggested but it got proved not to show any effect. Thankfully as their teammates one by one got rid of the other enemies they joined the pair’s side and began assisting them any way they could. 

Futaba was also trying her hardest by leveling up their attacks, defenses, and giving them more SP supply. 

“This shits insane, man!” Ryuji shouted as the battle was making too much noise for them to be able to speak at a normal tone, “It’s been a fuckin’ _hour_ , I swear!” It has been forty minutes, both Makoto and Futaba had thought but did not say anything because that would just sound too nerdy. 

“Skull, focus!” Complained Ann with an irritating whine at the end as she raised her hand and wrapped her whip around one of the snakes, “Got it!” She gasped with excitement while trying to twist it, as suddenly the Shadow bit into the leash and ripped it apart, “The heck?!” The sudden loose of balance made the blonde trip and fall to the back. 

“Panther, are you okay?!” Makoto looked back to glance at the girl while making sure that her teammate was alright; Morgana panicked a lot more while already showering her in magma, “Mona! I told you to only use drugs!” Brunette scoffed while blocking an attack. 

“Sorry, Queen.” The cat apologized as they all came back to the battlefield. 

-

Sojiro overheard yesterday’s conversation between Futaba and Akira, but thought that maybe raven wanted to hide away the truth from his daughter. After all, the similarity between their backgrounds could possibly open up the old scars - but still, he had to make sure. Just because his gut feeling would not leave him alone. He asked for the teen to come downstairs after the shift had ended as he made him a fresh, new cup of coffee. 

“There are two things I wanna talk with you about, kid.” Sojiro started, the other stayed silent while trying to avoid eye contact, “Show me your knuckles.” He demanded; Akira pretended as if he was deaf to which the man sighed and reached his hand forward while tugging at the boy’s wrist to push down his sleeve and reveal a freshly ripped off skin. 

“O-ouch-!” the boy hissed as the fabric ran down the wound and sent an agonic itch all over his hand. 

“How the heck did you do that?” The man let go of his hand, “What in the Lord, kid..” he sounded upset, which made the other try to curl away and especially shield his previously exposed hand by tugging it closer to his own chest in a protective manner. 

“A towel..” he mumbled; almost inaudibly. 

“A towel?” The other repeated while raising his eyebrows. 

_“I rubbed the towel into my skin.”_

Akira could remember it clearly. It was just yesterday. Having his blades and razors, even a boxcutter, taken away he had nothing sharp to properly damage himself with. The knives in the kitchen Sojiro also seemed to have hidden, even though surprisingly raven never found them sharp enough to hurt himself properly anyway. 

After they were finished up with Shido’s Palace he felt light-headed from the despair that was flooding his mind. Futaba’s presence and comfort at first kept his afloat, but the moment her and the man had left - he was all alone in Leblanc once again. Morgana did stay behind but the cat was so tired from the Palace that he fell into a dead-sleep the moment they were back into reality. 

Akira’s head was aching; it was too loud and too noisy. He wanted silence, he wanted peace and harmony. He would get all kinds of thoughts starting from the idea of smashing his head against the wall towards shattering a cup and trying to eat glass in hopes that it would cut open his throat and insides. These thoughts were unwanted - he did not “ _think of_ ” them, they came to him by themselves like violent, graphic fantasies. 

Eventually, he did find himself slightly chewing on his palm as if he were a dog; just slightly biting into an old scar while feeling nostalgia. He longed pain, no, he longed violence. Something within his longed cruelty and pain, and since the boy could not properly understand the source he would just try to dull it by inflicting it onto himself. 

While pacing around the cafe his dark grey eyes landed on the kitchen towel that Sojiro had used to wipe dry the dishes behind the counter. In any normal situation, he would have never thought of this, but the material of fabric was hard, even spiky if he would say. It was not one of these soft towels, no, it had been used for years over and over again and lost its soft nature after taking a trip inside the washing machine too many times than needed. 

_Perfect_. 

He grabbed it and began rubbing it against his knuckles as he thought of every single punch that he had landed on the Shadows or that he wanted to lend on the wall right in front of himself. He wanted to scratch this all off; he felt dirty and uncomfortable. His skin felt like an unneeded layer of a sticky leather coat that he just wanted to scrub off. The movement of his hand became strongest and more forceful, with each pull - the skin cells would break. The snowy white towel began to take the shade of yellow, soon enough, pinkish highlights. 

Akira flinched away when suddenly he realized that the hand that was receiving the abuse was violently shaking. Shaking so bad that he could not stop it even when he had placed away the towel and took a grip with his opposite hand on his wrist. The skin was numb, but what internally pissed him off was that - it was not bleeding. It was burning, gosh, burning so painfully that he already wanted to sob or look for a painkiller. Possibly a cooling aloe paste to soothe the irritation. And still... _why was it not bleeding?! He had to see blood! Blood was like proof that he had accomplished his task!_

_Bleed_! Another rub. _Bleed_! Another pull. _Bleed_! Another frown from pain. _Bleed_! Another shake of a hand. _Bleed_! Another bite on his lower lip to keep in the sounds that were threatening to escape. _Bleed_! Another groan of frustration. _Bleed! Bleed! **Bleed**! _

“Akira?” He flinched away and immediately hid the fabric behind himself as he turned around. He saw a black cat figure flopping down the stairs while lazily yawning. He must have woken up Morgana after making too many sounds downstairs, “Are you alright?” 

“Of course.” He remembered himself replying to the cat; after that, they went both to sleep. 

His thoughts were snapped back into reality to a Boss who was still in a shock that a towel had been used to scratch off one’s skin. 

“How about..” the man started, as he sighed, “Every time you get an urge, call me, ‘kay, kid?” The thing was he could have told raven to call Futaba or the rest of his friends, but he was unsure of how teenagers worked nowadays and did not wish for Akira to plant any type of ideas into their minds by accident. 

“O-okay..” the boy cracked a smile while lying through his teeth. _He would never call_ \- if only it would be that easy. 

“Thanks.” But the other seemed to buy it as he smirked at the raven and cleared his throat, “The second thing that I wanted to ask was..” his voice tone darkened which sparkled up both anxiety and curiosity from within Akira, “Itsumi Kurusu, your mother, what was she like?” He asked. His intention was not to hurt the boy by asking this but to.. see wether his gut feeling was right or wrong. He was not sure for which outcome he was hoping for. 

“Was?” Akira strangely repeated, “Uhm... She is... Well, she’s strange. She often changes her opinion, acts completely different in front of dad.. quite a friend of alcohol just like you of coffee-“ Sojiro rolled his eyes, but he softened seeing the raven chuckle, “-And... She is almost never home.” 

“You know you don’t gotta hide anything from me, right?” Sojiro asked, to which the other nodded with confused eyes. 

“I’m telling the truth.” He confirmed while taking a sip. 

“So.. your mom is not... _dead_?” Sojiro carefully questioned, to which the other looked up with a lot of pure shock. 

_“Of course no!”_   
  


_Wait._

“And.. you don’t know who Dr. Gira is?” The man kept up the mini-interrogation. Akira simply shook his head as suddenly doctor’s words rang in his ears, ‘ _did he forgot me?_ ’ 

“Kid..” 

-

“They are weak, Akira. How do you expect them to pass the third floor?” Asked the man as he turned himself around to face the raven who had a playful smirk creeping upon his face. 

“You’ll help them, of course.” The other snorted in response, “I mean, you’ve been very helpful for a while now. Got rid of most Shadows, _Saint_.” The nickname came out in a mocking tone, to which the other rolled his eyes. 

“You’re the one who sees me that way — don’t flatter yourself.” Saint acted annoyed, swallowing down a bit of worry that crept down his back. 

“Aren’t you blushing under that mask of yours?” Akira deeply chuckled while cooing at the other, “So what? You have hots for bad boys now calling you cute names?” 

“If you will keep saying things like these, I- I- I’ll kill you again!” The man crossed his hands over his chest and looked away, “Fucking dumbass.” 

“Aye, watch that language.” Akira took a step back which caused the chains to ruffle, “Look at that - they’re winning.” He tilted his head and the other followed his gaze. The thieves had almost beat the snake Shadow, “Maybe they’re not as weak as you think.” 

“Pft, please. We’ll see about it on the third floor.” The Saint waved off his hand as he walked up to the door, before he could step out he turned around to say his last words, “I always wondered what was it that taunted me so much about you — now I see it. You really are the _Devil_ , Akira Kurusu.” 

“You really are not the _Saint_ , Goro Akechi. I’d personally assign you as Fallen matter from now on.” The Shadow replied, while reaching his hands and gripping the bars of a cage, “ _You are still below me, Akechi._ ” His eyes sparkled with gold once he said that meanwhile, Akechi pulled out a gun pointing it right at the other’s head, “You won’t shoot me, we both know that. We have the same goal.” The Devil grinned; making the detective lower his pistol with a sigh. 

**“Indeed. A deal with the Devil.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Answering questions time ✨ 
> 
> 1) “Is it real Akechi/Is Akechi the Saint/Isn’t he acting too OOC?”  
> Answer: It is real Akechi and he made Shadows go berserk. The reason why Phantom Thieves have not encountered that many Shadows is because he got rid of them. Akechi was the Saint, but the ShadowAkira stated that now he’ll be known as “Fallen”. He is not acting OOC (at least I hope he isn’t) because that phrase “I- I- I’ll kill you myself!” Is me quoting him from Maruki’s Palace; he’d constantly say that and in general acted like a massive tsundere
> 
> 2) “Does Futaba know that Akira’s mom is dead?”  
> Answer: No, she doesn’t. She was surprised because of what he said about his dad. Sojiro was surprised about the whole thing.
> 
> 3) “Why did he use a towel?”  
> Answer: People who self-harm often use it to rip off skin. It’s the fastest and extremely painful/desperate way, but it does its job.
> 
> 4) “Is Shadow Akira a prisoner in the cell?”  
> Answer: not quite.. you will all get his description and of that room once phantom thieves find it ❤️ 
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading feel free to ask more questions, i love you all and have an amazing day ☺️


	15. off with my head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves discover supressed memories of Akira Kurusu’s mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: non-concencual drug use; child abuse; verbal abuse; doctor’s appointment; referenced/implied suicide; descriptions of violence;
> 
> Hey guys!! Sorry that this took me so so so sooooooo long! I started school as I have said before, and I am doing IB - which means that I have something to do almost every single day. Be it projects, essays, presentations or homework. So, I deeply apologize if some chapters might take longer to come out :( 
> 
> Anyways, I also started one more story, so if you’re curious you can go check it out wnlJknanwk I will update it soon today too:D 
> 
> Thanks for the comments once again—I LOVE READING ALL OF THEM AND I LOVE YOU ❤️ HAVE AN AMAZING DAY SWEETS!!!!!

Finally they managed to take down the Shadows with the last Nuke blow; making the snake hiss in agonic pain and vanish into the air. It dropped an item onto the floor - a key card, surprisingly. The mansion so far had looked like it contained nothing of modern technology.. Makoto picked it up while stuffing it into her back pocket, knowing that it will definitely come in handy eventually. Everything in Palaces had some type of purpose, no matter how useless it might seem at the beginning.

“This is strange, guys.” Futaba suddenly pointed out, “The stats of these Shadows were way too unusual!” She exclaimed, while typing away on her keyboard in a fast motion, “Also, I am getting a reading of something on the Third Floor, but I can’t tell what it is.” The hacker rubbed her chin while thinking of possibilities.

“T-that’s weird.” Ann blinked her eyes in surprise as she walked up closer to the Oracle, “Could it be someone who’s guarding the Will Seed? Or another one of these crazy-looking Shadows?” She assumed, to which the other girl shrugged.

“The only way to find out then is to get on that damn floor.” Ryuji concluded; nobody commented anything but they all mentally agreed. They were all prepared enough to face any danger, so, this time they should be fine.

“I meant to ask something, these Shadows weren’t guarding this mansion before.. so.. why suddenly they have appeared?” Haru questioned; taking a step forward towards everyone. Apparently, she was not the only one wondering about that.

“I.. I don’t know. Another strange thing though is that killing them did not lower the security level of the Palace.” Futaba said, as she scanned the area, “You know how in other Palaces whenever you raise the Security level too high you just gotta beat some enemies to lower it back down?” She sighed, “Well, this Torture Chamber is apparently an exception to that rule. It’s still at 65% just how it was before.”

“W-wait, it was this high this whole time?!” Ryuji gasped, “What in the hell! ‘Ain’t it supposed to start like at- uhm- 10%?” He rubbed the back of his head with confusion.

“Don’t be surprised, this is Akira’s Palace we are talking about. He’s always on alert.” Makoto sighed, while crossing her hands over her chest, “So far wherever we go it feels like we are being watched or listened to. I.. Can’t shake off the feeling as if someone had been following our every movement for a long time now..”

“Let’s proceed.” Yusuke reminded them, while fixing up his outfit and brushing off some blood, which didn’t quite help and still left an ugly stain on the previously clean cloth. He clearly had tried to change the topic, and no one protested against that. The Thieves nodded, as they began walking towards the hole in the mansion.

“Oh, right-“ Haru spoke up, “-do we leave Futaba on the First Floor of the normal mansion again or-“ but before she could finish her sentence, they all noticed that the inside was already in a psychotic state, if not worse. The moment they had walked in they were hit with a horrifying smell of a rotting flesh - which made most of them cover their noses - and everywhere were _mosquitoes_. The sound of them flying around near their ears made them jerk constantly and wave their hands in the air on an instinct.

“Shit!” Ryuji grunted while seeing a bug land right on his face and hitting himself with the fist - Morgana decided to refrain from sharing his thoughts - the boy’s cheek grew redder meanwhile the smug mosquito easily avoided its death, “That little bitch!”

“This wasn’t here last time!” Ann, who had the most exposing outfit was already scratching herself everywhere from the itchy bites.

“Let’s run to the second floor!” Makoto commanded, to which they all agreed while running up the stairs not caring about how loud they were being at this point.

As they stepped inside they saw the familiar blinding white corridor with three doors. One of them this time was open; they recognized it from before - it was the same room where they had fought the cognition of the boy’s father, also known as the Warden of the Second floor and a guardian of the first Will Seed. The body was still inside, laying on the cold floor and had thousands of flies circling around it. As Makoto stepped closer towards the door frame; she strangely enough noticed that instead of blood the room was splashed with honey; around the blown-up intestines were resting wasps, eating the flesh in a hungry motion while buzzing loudly in her head. She hated bees and wasps the most, plus, considering the way how this Palace had treated them so far the best decision would be to avoid any of their fears as much as possible.

“Let’s close this door..” Ann whispered, to which brunette nodded while locking it. The girls stepped away from there and looked around. The door that was in the middle of the hallway had a label written on it, “What’s this? Dr. Takemi? That’s the Punk Lady that sells him medicine.. But... Why is this here?” Blonde read the name tag that was right in front of them - they especially threw a look at Futaba and Morgana who seemed to know the most about their Leader, but both shook their heads having no idea why this was here. As they twisted the door knob they found it locked, which frustrated all of them.

“Should we maybe just break through it?” Suggested Haru while swinging her axe in her right hand, but got stopped by the hacker shouting.

“Don’t!” She put her hand in front of the girl, blocking her movement, “The third door is open and the room inside is connected with this one. We can access it this way. Also, the more we will destroy in this Palace the higher will be security level, so, let’s be cautious and think before acting!” She warned everyone and they nodded, taking a mental note of that. Brunette now walked up to the last door and clicked it open - revealing a normal hospital room.

Right, the whole aesthetic of the second floor actually had a vibe of the clinic. White corridors, closed windows, the wheelchair at the very back and now a room of the doctor who supplied them with medicine almost on daily basis by now. Akira was actually known to visit Takemi a lot, and even hang out with her out of their clinical exams.

On the right side of the exam room there were cupboards with tons of different pills and capsules, but overall it was no different from the original clinic where their Leader would buy drugs. The thieves expected to see Takemi’s cognition somewhere around the area, but it ended up being empty. The chair in front of the working desk was still in place, with a white, medical robe hanging on its back - but the room almost felt dead. Like nobody had visited the place for the longest of times.

“This is good, we can get actual supplies. Thoughtful.” Futaba hummed, as she opened up some of the cupboards and filled up her pockets with items. The others had followed up to her example and did the same; also healing up from the battle with the berserk Shadows that they had encountered from an outside, “This does reflect our Aki in a way.. He is always the most worried about medicine rather than anything else, no wonder that the safest place so far ended up being Takemi’s office.” She thought out loud, “But.. you know.. I’ve got a bad feeling.” She admitted suddenly.

“Why?” Asked Ryuji, who looked the most excited about what they had just found. On the sketched out map that Yusuke had been mapping out in his notebook ever since they have entered the artist called this place their first safe room.

“Well.. usually in games and everything characters always get medicines before some type of battle..” Futaba mumbled, while fidgeting in her place, “I know that this is no game, but.. uhm- yeah.” She had no idea what to add nor how to explain the root of her anxiety.

“Ah, well, not surprising, I guess. We are about to go up.” Ann said, as she had finally made her way towards the door that led to the room in the middle of a corridor, “Dr. Gira..?” She read a tag that was next to the wall, “Does Akira has one more dealer or something?” She assumed based on the ‘ _Dr_.’ in front of the surname.

“Never saw anyone with this name.” Morgana narrowed his eyes while coming up to the blonde girl, “Strange. I am almost certain that the person to who belongs the name is not one of Akira’s confidants in the Tokyo!”

“It requires a key card!” Haru pointed her finger at the scanner on the left. Makoto quickly shuffled through her pockets and pulled out what a snake Shadow had dropped before dying.

“Good that we didn’t leave without it..” she commented under her breath, while applying the card towards the scanner. The light changed from red to green, as electronic lock on the door clicked open. The door slightly got pushed forward, as now nothing was holding it in place, “I’ll go in first.” She said, the same phrase that Akira would say back when they would infiltrate Palaces together with him being their Leader. Whenever there was something unknown ahead of them he would always enter first, so that in case an attack would be coming or any danger would be upfront - he would be the one to take the blow.

_ Heroic of him. _

As she stepped inside she had to rub her eyes in order to focus her vision once again since everything was pitch black. The whole room was in pure dark, which made her hesitate for a moment. Darkness was disturbing, especially since anything could have been hiding in there.

“Don’t be scared. There is nothing inside apart from the TV.” Morgana spoke - right, a cat probably would have a night vision or something - he walked into the room without any fear nor hesitation on him, and jumped up onto something, turning on the devise.

The screen was in statics and the TV itself rested on a metallic table with straps and leather belts lying over it. The light from the devise now lightened up the room revealing that the cat was telling the truth, there was nothing else apart from the TV and a remote.

The group have all walked in, and Ann grabbed the remote while trying to change the channel in hopes of finding a clue or new information. Nothing. They spent minutes trying to discover something apart from the static, but there was no luck. From time to time there would be disturbing noises like cut off screams, gasps or crying.

“Maybe.. we should put in some type of number combination?” Makoto furrowed her eyebrows, and the others hummed, “Dates..? Ages..? Passwords..? I don’t even know. Is there any special number to Akira? Maybe a special occasion..?”

“Bingo!” They suddenly heard someone coming in - it was Yusuke who held up some type of paper in his hand that he found back in the safe room, “In here are written different numbers of channels with labeled names.” He explained, “Shall we take a look at some of them?” They all nodded, while approaching the TV for the light source. The new Leader frowned seeing that the numbers were _hand written_ , and the handwriting looked _familiar_.

“Where did you find it?” The girl’s gut was screaming at her to double-check. So, she decided to ask, to which an artist proudly announced.

“On top of the working table, why?” Yusuke answered, and that finally made Makoto’s eyes go round just for a second. Brunette swallowed down her current worries and had decided that it was probably unnecessary to discuss at the moment; better be done at home.

“Great job, Fox.” Makoto praised the artist; to which the boy gently smiled and accepted the praise with a mindful nod. 

  1. **20/11/XXXX** \- submissive 
  2. **06/03/XDFF** \- unfair 
  3. **17/05/XXXX** \- labeled 
  4. **10/10/KHKL** \- deceased
  5. **12/10/OPSS** \- aggressive 



“These channels also seem to have names..” Haru commented while staring at the list, “And those are.. dates. The first number is a day, the second number is a month and the last one is a year.” She explained her conclusion. Thank God they have found a list, otherwise this riddle would have been almost impossible to figure out.

“The first one is when an interrogation room had happened..” Futaba pointed at the line with hesitance in her voice; they all slightly paled at that.

“No backing out, there could be something important.” Makoto reminded them, waiting for everyone to get mentally prepared enough for whatever they were about to witness. Yusuke picked up the remote and pressed all the first numbers, changing the channel. Suddenly the static screen had disappeared, and instead the images began to blur in between red and black - similar to when a distortion would overtake the reality. 

**20/11/XXXX** _  
_

_ Akira’s unconscious body was harshly thrown into a room, hitting the floor with a lot of force. The boy let out a groan of pain; trying to curl onto himself, but it didn’t block out the punch that collided with his face as soon as he was down. One of the guards aimed right at his ear with a foot, breaking the skin with a heel and making it bleed. The boy’s vision circled at that; doubled in size and formation. _

_ “What do we do with him?” The other man asked, meanwhile his colleague kept pressing with his body weight onto Akira’s face. The teen was terrified, only half-awake from the drugs that they made him sniff in the military truck in order to knock him out. He kept squirming in pain and trying to push off the elder from him, “Where do we hold back?” _

_ The trembling hands grabbed at the ankle of the man, and gripped on it - showing the fighting spirit. The boy’s face flashed with the bits of anger, he felt humiliated, but he was not about to give in so fast. He had to show them that he was made out of something, this was not as bad as they thought. He was the Leader of the Phantom Thieves after all. _

_ Soon he would realize that he should have just played dead and stayed quiet. _

_ “They told us that we can use any method to get the information out of him.” Came in reply - a gasp when they heard Akira struggling, “Look at that. What a beatable brat-!” The man lifted up his foot and stepped on top of raven’s face with a thud. The thief whined in pain; eyes watered at the shock that struck him, “We will make you understand.” Threatened the cop, as he kneeled lower and grabbed the teen by the collar of his shirt. _

_ “Fuck you.” The raven whispered; Akira desperately coughed out, his voice broke at the end and the air escaped his lungs as another punch was aimed right at his stomach. The boy could feel a squirm of vomit catch up in his throat and burned slight insights of his mouth which made him internally cringe at the taste. _

_ “Are you going to talk, or should we continue?” The man crouched down and pulled Akira up by his hair to force him to sit up. Their faces were right in front of each other, but it was obvious which one was the prey and who was the predator, “Don’t make me fucking wait.” But raven gave the other a silent treatment, which eventually drove the man over the edge of anger and a fist was met with the boy’s nose. _

_ All the nerves in Akira’s body were shot with electricity at that, but as pained sob was about to escape—the thief bit down on his lower lip. _

_ Another kick came from the left side, and one more from the right side. The pain was simply everywhere - making him feel dizzy and wanting to just disappear right on his spot. Forget that this was happening. Go anywhere but where the pain did not exist. _

-

The Phantom Thieves watched in horror the video from the third point of view of what was happening. It was strange that the footage was not shown from Akira’s perspective, but that was when Makoto had remembered that a lot of people recalled their suppressed memories from a distant perspective. Was this.. _forgotten_ by Akira? Was this actually what had happened in the interrogation room? 

This was scary and straight up illegal. They did not even ask him properly questions, but simply looked for an opportunity to hurt the raven. This was brutal abuse, and watching it twisted something in all of them. The way how their leader tried to curl away, crawl into the corner or just block his head with his hands but it was met with another punch over and over again.

This was cruel, too cruel for anyone to experience. Akira was not a bad person, he did not deserve this. Yet he went through this. And what did they do? Avoided him for weeks, disobeyed him in Shido’s Palace, said nasty things into his face, stripped him off the Leader’s post.. They were horrible. In a way no better than these cops.

-

_ “He won’t speak up.” One of the men finally sighed, and let go off Akira’s hair. The body of a teen fell dead onto the floor - the fighting spirit almost fully gone from the dark-grey eyes. The sparkle of hope also began to slowly blur into boy’s irises. _

_ “Then we have nothing else but to use this.” His colleague said as he turned around towards them with a syringe in his hand. _

_ “What if he has an allergy? Even if he doesn’t.. That might kill him either way.” Asked the third one with the slight worry in his voice that was quite well covered up with a scary look spread across his face. _

_ “He doesn’t have an allergy and I’m sure that he’ll be fine. Also, don’t forget who exactly we are dealing with.” Snorted the man with a syringe while approaching the raven who seemed to be elsewhere, “Hey, demon.” Akira raised his gaze at whoever called for him. _

_ Suddenly the thing that was right in front of him registered and his face went pale. He felt the way how blood drenched away from him, and made him feel cold. The shock, fear and unspeakable fright were flooding his mind in terror. _

_ “N-no, n-no-“ he shook his head while mumbling it like a prayer, “p-please d-don’t-“ he begged, “p-please-“ a punch in the face made him whimper in despair. His skin began to slowly go numb with each throbbing wound, “n-no-“ _

_ “We won’t do it, if you will talk.” The man chuckled - he was enjoying this. Akira’s lips fell open, as if he were about to speak, wanted to tell them everything just for it to stop. About to give in. But it was like an unknown force made him shut his mouth, “I guess that’s a no. You’ve made your choice then. Everything that is happening to you is consequences of your own actions. It’s your fault. You’re the Leader, aren’t you? You are a lot more guilty than any of your comrades.” The boy simply whimpered while shutting his eyes, trying to flinch away from the shot, “The more struggling you do - the worse it’s for you. I might miss and inject elsewhere, would you want that? Show me your neck.” _

_ He had to actually bare his neck by himself. The humiliation spread all the way down his spine - this was degrading. He was being treated like a ragdoll that was just getting passed around for fun between the three cops. All raven could do was shake his head; still scared of what the drug even was. _

_ “Fine.” Tsked the man and before Akira could even think the slap echoed around the room; his whole body violently shook - it was like an alarm went off in his head and all that was left was panic. He was panicking, he had to run, run, run, run! The thief almost flew up onto his legs and pushed the guard off his way. All his attention was on the door handle as he tugged the hell out of it. Open, open, open! C’mon! Just open already! The pain did not matter at that moment, he was overflowing with some power. _

_ “Get away from me!” He screamed as he heard footsteps from behind him coming up in a quick pace - he could feel his heartbeat in his throat, beating at the speed of light, “Don’t come any closer! Stop!” Akira was actually ready to finally put a fight, to get beaten up was one thing, but to be injected with something was completely different, “No! Stay awa-ay-“ his words got cut off as something completely unexpected had happened. _

_ His eyes shot up at the wave of electricity that ran over his body; making him completely lose all the fight-and-flight instincts that he had just a moment ago. His limbs gave up on him, and before he could push away from the touch - he felt a metal sinking into his neck as unknown liquid pumped within him. _

_ The effect was instant. Everything around dozed off, and his vision began to have dark circles. All the sounds were repeating themselves over and over again, coming back and forth. Akira had completely lost the feeling of time and space. He felt the needle against his neck again - but this time his senses all of a sudden were too sharp. The smell of iron, medicine and rusted metal hit his nostrils; making him scrunch his face in disgust. The light from a lightbulb became too bright that he had to turn away from it, because looking at it felt like looking at onions that were being cut. The taste of vomit in his mouth had settled in making him feel nauseous all over again; his stomach made a noise at the realization. The worst of all were the sounds. The next time he was being asked a question it rang in his ears so loud that his head throbbed; Akira screamed in agony at the yucky feeling and covered his ears with his trembling hands. They injected him with something again, and again, and again- _

-

The TV went into static; the scene that the thieves had been observing melted into black and red eventually turning up into a blank screen. What they had just seen was horrifying, and their Leader had to go through that all by himself. _Guilt_. They felt guilty. Every single one of them.

“I-“ Ryuji was the first one to break the dead silence, “I need to apologize to Akira.” His voice sounded a lot more serious than usual, which was almost weird, “I am a fucking dumbass. He did not deserve it. He did not. He did not- Oh God, he did not. Why did my dumb mouth even say that? Was that shit real- I’m- Shit, what have I- Why did I-“ he began to mumble and stumble against his own words; his thoughts were flashing so fast that his tongue could not keep up.

“Skull, calm down.” It was Yusuke. The artist had emotionless look on his face, as if he were trying to suppress something, “We still have.. a lot more to see. You need to get a hang of yourself.” The boy looked down, “It’s time for us to face our mistakes and make it up for our Leader in the real world.”

He said _Leader_ , Makoto all of a sudden thought. So, it was not just Futaba and Morgana now who acted weird towards the idea of a brunette leading them - apparently mentally Yusuke was also still swinging towards the causality that Akira was the Leader. Were they all like this? Did none of them actually see Makoto as a good enough replacement? What was it that she was doing wrong? Her head was hurting, and that was only the first channel.

“Aren’t we.. invading his privacy like that?” Futaba whispered; her eyes were watery - everyone suddenly noticed. Morgana who was on a table together with the TV walked up closer to her figure and patter her shoulder while trying to reassure the girl.

“We must see this.” Makoto shook her head; dismissing the sub-message that the hacker was trying to give her.

“ _But even he does not want to see this._ ” Futaba talked back, but it was not aggressive. It was distant and careful tone.

Haru who had a pain coating her face, was the one to pick up the remote in silence and type in the next channel. They all stepped a bit back, scared of what will be the next thing to come. Who knew what else was buried deep down in Akira’s heart.

** 06/03/XDFF**

_ Akira was again in the center of the video - but he looked a lot younger. They guessed it made sense, the number of the channel suggested that this memory happened back in 2008, which meant that Akira in here was only 6 years old. He did not look that different from his older self. Raven’s fluffy, noir hair was styled in the exact same way; his skin was pale just as usual; and his eyes were drowned in the dark-grey color. Even though the weird part of the scenery was how everything - even Akira himself was in grey colors. It ranged from dark to light, and the only other shade that was standing out was red. _

_ The red crayon that little Akira was drawing with, the red socks that he was wearing, the red curtains that were hanging from the window and the red flowers in a vase that stood on a coffee table. It was a living room, and a child was laying down on his stomach on the carpet with his legs swinging back and forth while he sketched something on an A4 sheet of paper. He was dressed casually: a sweater with shorts, no shoes since he was in the house. _

_ The dead silence got interrupted with a shouting of the two adults that seemed to be coming from the locker bedroom. The child furrowed his eyebrows as the sounds began reaching his ears, and the movement of his crimson crayon became harsher, harder and sharper.  _

_ “You WHORE!”  _

_ “Don’t call me that, Yamada! And- Argh! STOP shouting at me SO MUCH! I SWEAR—I was at home the whole day!!”  _

_ “Oh?! WERE YOU NOW?! Then where the hell were you when you got fucked by some doubchebag 6 years ago?! Huh?! WERE YOU ALSO AT HOME-?!” _

_ “Why won’t we just divorce?! I want a divorce, Yamada! I DON’T love you anymore! Stopped loving you 6 years ago when you thought that hitting a woman was fine! But it’s not! I won’t take that! I am packing my bags and Akira’s right now and I’m fucking leaving.”  _

_ “How fucking dare you—“ a loud thud, and a woman’s gasp of fear. Little Akira looked up from his drawing with worry in his eyes, “—STOP MOVING!”  _

_ “LET ME GO! I will call the cops!” There were more sounds of a struggle coming from the opposite side of the door, but most of them we’re muffed. And yet, the child began to get worried after hearing so much panic in his mom’s voice. The small form slowly stood up with small, quiet steps and came up to the door.  _

_ “JUST. SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.”  _

_ Akira’s panicked figure kept biting down on his nails not knowing what to do, as he tried to peep through a key-hole. Finally, after gathering enough courage the child had knocked on the door. _

_ “Mommy..?” Came out a weak mumble from the raven; his voice was a lot more high-pitched than the grown-up Akira’s, “Mommy, are you okay?” He knocked louder on the door, gaining more confidence, “Mommy!”  _

_ “AKIRA! STAY AWAY! GO HIDE-“  _

_ “STOP MAKING ME SOUND LIKE I AM A FUCKING ABUSER OR SHIT! ARE YOU TELLING ME I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE MAD AT YOU AND THAT PILE OF TRASH?! THAT PATHETIC ESCUSE OF A DEMON?! HE IS A SEED OF SIN! YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! YOU FUCKING-“  _

_ “A-akira! Please go hide-“ the woman’s voice got cut off in the middle, and a scream of pain with something falling onto the ground was heard. _

_ “Mommy?! Mommy!!” But the boy was not backing down, he only kept banging on the door more and more; “Mommy!” He was crying now, shaking from the overload of fear and panic, “Please, daddy! Don’t hurt mommy anymore! Please-!” _

-

The screen suddenly got muffed with a static and the thieves looked at each other in confusion. They recognized both voices of the adults - the woman was the demon cognition who they had met the moment they have stepped into the Palace, meanwhile the man’s voice belonged to the guardian of the second floor. So.. the two cognitions who they have seen so far - two demons - were Akira’s own _parents_.

That hurt again. Futaba looked down as the screams of the adults must have reminded her of her own struggles. No, most of them simply felt uncomfortable. Such memory seemed to be so vulnerable, and yet so important to Akira. At the same time it must have been simply unbearable to remember.

Their Leader most likely had a serious case of childhood trauma that haunted him ‘till this day. It was either the core of the Torture Chamber, or at least a main part of it.

“This is.. fucked up.” Ryuji groaned while covering his face with his hands, “He’s like fucking 5 or 6 in here.. Shit..”

“No child should ever go through this.” Agreed Yusuke, while leaning against the wall behind him.

Suddenly the screen began to regain back it’s color, and their attention got focused back on the TV. The setting now was completely different, as they could see a woman - that was an identical copy of a female demon cognition sitting on a couch with a black eye and slit lip on the couch. She looked young, and no matter how messed up her face and body was - it was obvious just how attractive her looks were. The colors were the same - everything was black, white and grey; but the woman’s hair shined with red and brought all attention to itself.

-

_ “Every single day I regret giving birth to you.” The woman said, as she put down an empty bottle of recently finished beer. She had long wine colored hair and a pale skin. Her body was extremely skinny; her bones looked like they could rip her skin apart; her eyes apart from a black eye also carried massive eye-bags, and her lips had a grey-ish color in them together with an ugly bruise in the middle, “He’s right, you are a demon child.” _

_“I’m sorry..” that was little boy’s voice, or to be more precise - Akira’s voice. It sounded so guilty and ashamed, like he had done something extremely wrong. _

_“I should have aborted you. I knew you were not my husband’s.. so why did I keep you?” The woman said, while picking up a cigarette from an ash tray and breathing in the smoke, “Hm? Do you know why?” She asked again, her red locks of hair fell down to cover up some bruised parts of her face. _

_ “N-no..” _

_ “Because God told me to keep you.” She answered, “Yamada is right - you are a child of sin. But one day when I was in my room I heard the voice of God, telling me that you’ll go far in life. That you were a WildCard of this world. So, I thought that you were going to be good. I thought that you were going to listen to me and hide just how I told you back then. But no, you’re a bad child. You don’t listen to me.. Demon child.” Her lips were barely opening as she kept talking, her stare was glued to the TV behind her son - not even sparing another look, “You know.. Maybe being a demon is not as bad as society says, sweetie.. Maybe.. That’s how you’ll survive, Akira. By being the demon that they want you to be.” The red-haired woman reached out her hands all of a sudden, and without even a second thought her son fell into her embrace. They stayed like that for a while; both not moving and simply hugging. All of a sudden Akira hissed in pain as his mom’s nail dug their way into his skin in the shoulder, “You know I love you, right? I’m sorry for hurting you or saying mean things - but you know that mommy loves you, right? I love so, so much, sweetie. I’m sorry if my love hurts you, I truly am — but that’s the only way I can love a demon like you. That’s the only way anyone will ever love you; they’ll bring you some sense of pain. I’m sorry, sweetie. Don’t you worry, though, humans adapt and eventually - you won’t even bother over it.” _

-

The screen this time had went black, not even a static - almost looked like the TV broke for a minute. The thieves breathed out in relief that this channel was finally over. This memory did not contain as much violence, but yet it was still painful to watch. What they have witnessed was a clear evidence of a massive child abuse.

“Is that what.. Akira’s parents are like..?” Ann asked in shock; her eyes were blinking at the screen - as she could see her own reflection staring back at her, “I.. had no idea..”

“That explains why he had never talked about them.” Haru pointed out; it looked like she was partially half-stuck in her own world - probably thinking about what kind of person was her father. Would the Okumura ever cross the line that Kurusu clearly did? Would he ever become as violent as Akira’s dad?

“That also explains why Akira acted the way he did during that task in Mementos..” Morgana added; grunting at the end, “How many more of these are left..?” He questioned, Makoto looked up at the document and picked up a remote.

“Three more to go..” brunette said with a depressive look in her eyes.

To her - her father was like a _hero_. A dad that many would only dream to have. She never had even a single bad experience with him. He was always there for both her and Sae, always supported them, helped them and guided them. When two sisters lost him, it was a real mental downfall, and yet the two of them were strong enough to stand through this. To see that someone else - especially her close friend - had most likely never known what true kindness and affection even felt like.. was agonizing.

She deeply sighed while typing in the next number that definitely seemed slightly worrying for some reason. 

** 17/05/XXXX**

_ “Akira, you don’t have to be scared of me — think of me as your friend, alright?” That was a completely new woman who they haven’t seen before in any of the videos nor around Akira in the real world. _

_ The raven in this memory looked slightly older this time, maybe by a few years. His hair was more curly than before, his height definitely had jumped higher and this time he was wearing a black hoodie, black jeans and sneakers. The outfit looked cheap and very worn out, but Akira payed no mind to that. _

_ He was sitting on a chair opposite from a doctor in the medical room. In between them was a table that had some stocks of papers, medicines and a turned on Laptop that faced the woman. The teen’s leg kept pacing up and down under the table in a nervous motion. _

_ “Nobody is my friend.” Came out an answer from the boy, as he rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands into his pockets, “Why am I even here anyway? I don’t like this place.” That—was a lot different from the attitude that the boy was expected to have. _

_ “Your father is worried about you-“ the woman said, and in half sentence Akira let out a ‘pft’ at the words that he had just heard, “-and he requested for me to have an appointment with you. I am Dr. Gira, a Psychaitrist. Do you know who that is?” She asked, and even though her choice of words and phrasing was sweet - her eyes revealed how truly alert she was. _

_ “Do I look stupid or something?” raven looked up at her, “Can we just get this over with already—I’m tired.” _

_ “If that’s how you wish for that to be, then so be it-“ the woman shrugged, as she flipped the document in her hand, “A lot of people had quite some things to say about you.” She commented, as she was preparing to list, “You kept getting into a fight with your classmate - and although that little misunderstanding did not make him end up in the hospital, that is rather concerning the way how you treat your classmates. What’s the matter with that, Kurusu-kun?” She asked; the boy visibly tensed at the topic and after a minute of silence, he gave in. _

_ “They were talking shit about me! And about my mom! Why would I let them do that?! I decided to fix their damn brains!” Akira defended, getting fired up. _

_ “What were they saying about you and Itsumi Kurusu?” Asked Dr. Gira completely unphased by the information. _

_ “I don’t want to tell you.” Raven looked away and for some reason seemed to be embarrassed, “It’s none of your business.” _

_ “Kurusu-kun..” came a tired sigh as a reply, “I won’t judge you. I’m here to help, you have to trust me.” _

_ “Trust you? Why?” The teen was not having it at all, and so the doctor decided to go for a clear push. _

_ “If you won’t open up, I will assume that you were lying when you said you had a good reason. Which will result in me writing that down and giving it to your father.” It almost sounded like a type of threat; after a pause to let the boy think, she continued, “The parent’s of the children are starting to believe that you could be a possible arising danger and I was the only permitted to judge that. So, be careful around me.” The doctor warned, Akira’s eyes locked with her’s, “I’ll repeat the question: What were they saying about you and Itsumi Kurusu?” _

_ For a while there was nothing said between them, and Dr. Gira thankfully was actually ready to wait for the boy to collect himself and build up a courage to speak. _

_ “They were saying that their parents were talking about our family..” Akira began the story, his nails dug into a cuticle of an opposite hand, while ripping off the dead skin that had bite marks all over it, “All kinds of things.. that my mom.. uhm... used to be easy... and that’s why she.. uhm... and that this was all her fault.. and that she was a bad person.. but the thing is.. she is not a bad person.. it was me who brought misery into her life... I.. I..” he covered his hand with his mouth and shook his head. _

_ “You are what, Kurusu-kun?” She nudged him to answer; to which he shook his head again, “Kurusu-kun.” This time her tone dropped, “We don’t have all day.” Pressure. She kept applying more and more pressure onto him. _

_ “I- I’m-“ he was unsure of wether to speak up or no, “N-nothing.” This was going nowhere. _

_ “Kurusu-Kun.” Dr. Gira all of a sudden smiled, and pulled up the sweetest face expression that she could. Her eyes melted, her gaze softened - and from this moment her position was not threatening to the boy anymore. Even though Akira was conscious of the fact that this was fake, and yet he dumbly fell for it, “This will stay just between us. Share with me, and I will help you, I promise.” _

_ “I’m the bad person. It’s me.” He finally confessed. _

_ “You don’t sound certain.” Doctor clicked her tongue, “Are you perhaps trying to be a bad person on purpose?” _

_ “That’s just stupid!” _

_ “Have your parents or any other adult perhaps told you that you are supposed to be doing this-?” Akira’s eyes shot up in worry, “I’ll take that as a yes.” Woman nodded to herself and began writing something down, “Are you fighting these kids.. to prove that you are a bad person or to let off a bubbled up steam, hm?” Raven looked down feeling like he was stripped naked with such forward and harsh questions being thrown at him without a single break. _

_ “Maybe.. both.” _

_ “Hm.” She hummed to herself, while thinking. _

-

The next time the Doctor spoke, her words were muffed. As if the sound that was coming from a TV had another audio layer on top or like it was simply glitching; but the rest of the session was simply coded away from the thieves. Partially, they were glad.

“So Dr. Gira.. Is a Psychaitrist that Akira had.. or probably still has.. maybe..” Ann spoke up, her lashes dropping low, “So.. and at the moment we are inside the room that had her name labeled on it.”

“It’s no surprise that the repressed memories would be within the Psychaitrist’s office.” Said Yusuke, “I hate to act this unsentimental at the moment, but we should hurry up since-“

He got interrupted by the TV as suddenly a scream erupted from the device which startled all of them, making especially Haru, Ann and Futaba jump in place. From a scream it slowly turned into a half-cry and half-laugh that was drowned in some hysteria. The voice sounded so disturbing, that it made them all want to leave almost instantly, but they had to stay strong.

“Guys! It’s showing something! Look-“ Ryuji did not finish his sentence as he shouted and stumbled back. His face had many expressions dancing all over it, but there was but a single emotion that he could describe. The room fell dead silent - even the creepy sounds coming from the TV had finally stopped.

In fact, none of them knew how exactly they should feel as they stared at a video footage once again. The numbers were right in the middle: in the thick, black font it wrote **10/10/KHKL** , and behind the numbers they could see two legs floating in the air while swinging left and right. 

_ The camera angle had slowly went higher and higher - and then it stopped, zooming out and revealing the hanging corpse of Itsumi Kurusu.  _


	16. ragdoll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phantom Thieves get separated. A dangerous guest appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! It might have a lot of confusing descriptions, I apologize for that. I am in a bit of a rush as I’m posting this, because I know that if I won’t post now - it will get delayed for a few more days. Anyways, I hope that you’ll enjoy! Have an amazing day ❤️

_ Woman’s body was hanging in the middle of the living room with her legs slightly swinging left and right. Everything else was silent except from the creaking that lingered around the place. Akira’s form stood frozen right in front of his mother; visibly shaking, but completely paralyzed. Itsumi’s face was grey - at least that was how TV had showed it. The moment the teenager actually set his eyes at her’s.. everything around them went black. It was simply him and his mom’s dead body and nothing else. The only colorful things that were in the vision of the channel were Akira’s eyes and Itsumi’s hair - both drowned in crimson. _

_ “Mom..?” Akira finally spoke, taking one step forward. The sound echoed all over the place, only adding weight on the boy’s shoulders, “H-hey.. Mom..?” He kept calling out to her. Teen’s hand grasped at his chest, tightly squeezing his shirt as all that he could possibly feel was pain. It hurt. He was in so much pain. _

_ “Mom-“ his voice cracked, and suddenly turned into a nervous chuckle, “T-this i-isn’t f-funny.. Mom? M-mom-?” His hand suddenly reached out to touch the woman’s wrist that was ice cold; through the TV tape it appeared to the thieves as her skin cracking like it was made out of porcelain or glass. _

_ All that he got as an answer were her eyes. The color was gone from them and the moment the information began to settle in - the bright red hair slowly started to turn into dark grey, just how it was with the rest of the setting. Her cheeks were beaten up, her lip was bruised and swollen, her arms and legs had visible white lines all over them - she looked like a deceased doll. Hanging in the middle of the darkness like a decoration. _

_ “MOM!” Akira shouted at her, his eyes glanced at the chair that suddenly had appeared and was flipped down on the floor - without even thinking properly, he picked it up and stood up on it himself, “MOM! WAIT! I’LL SAVE YOU! JUST—ugh-“ the wooden chair shook under him since his whole body was unstable; panicked, “DON’T LEAVE ME! MOM!” His hands grasped at her waist - which only put more weight on her form, choking her further. The boy flinched away completely terrified, “I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY! GOD—OHGODOHGODOHGOD-I’m SO SORRY! W-Wait-“ he jumped down to the floor and ran to the kitchen counter to pick up a knife. _

_ He was not thinking. Everything what he had been doing was on an instinct; his only focus was that he had to get Itsumi off the rope. This was not right. He had to save her—he simply had to. He saved her before, so this should not be any different, right? Right?! _

_ Akira soon was back and standing up on the chair with a long, kitchen knife in his right hand, “M-mom, I’m g-going t-to h-h-help-p y-you-“ his breathing was uneven, his palms were sweaty and burning. Never had he been this terrified before as he was now, and he’ll never feel anything even close to this in the future. Nothing could be more terrific than finding your own, beloved mom hanging in the middle of a living room. Raven loved her to death, he was ready to do anything for her - and now she was gone. She left him. She decided not to live, even for her own son. _

_ His left hand took a hold of the rope; the texture of it was solid and sharp against his skin but he could not care any less, he had to help his mom! With his other hand that held the knife he began to cut the rope which eventually started to rip into shreds. _

_ “J-just a b-bit l-longer, m-mom-“ he was mumbling to himself, his eyes still wide from horror as to what he was even doing, “J-just a bit l-longer-“ he got cut off with the rope finally ripping apart and Itsumi’s body falling down on the floor with a loud thud. For a few seconds he stood still, his hands still in position as they were before. It was like his brain was processing so painfully slowly that he was unable to function. To react. _

_ Once he snapped out of it, he almost fell onto the floor, but managed to balance out his feet just in time. The raven kneeled over her body, his eyes finally began to fill in with tears as his lower lip trembled. Itsumi was lying dead on the carpet, her back was facing Akira - so, his first instinct was to touch her shoulder and flip her over onto her back. Locks of her hair felt like strings that shielded her away, hiding most of her face behind it. _

_ “M-mom! Mom! Mom! God— Mom! MOM!” Akira cupped her face - his palms warmed her ice-cold skin, that painfully screamed about the fact that it had been a while since she left them, “MOM! PLEASE! PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME! M-mom! I-I’m s-sorry- I’ll d-do a-anything- I’m s-sorry i-if I u-upset y-you- I-I- I- l-love y-you s-so m-much! Mom!” For a moment his voice left him, the stab that pushed far into his chest and stomach completely knocked the air out of him and he had to remind himself to breathe. The raven breathed in and out, in and out, in and out. He had never taken such deep breaths before, and now no matter how many times he did it did not feel enough. Meanwhile his mom was not breathing. And she never will. _

_ “MOM! WAKE UP!” This time he screamed, hoping that maybe if he will beg enough a miracle will happen, “N-no.. Why..?” Now it was a whisper, completely coated in despair. _

_ Akira leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together, as he hugged his mom as close to him as possible. She was cold, he thought, she must be so cold - he had to help her feel warmer. _

_ She was so cold. _

-

Phantom Thieves fell into deep silence. None of them even dared to say anything as they all stared in horror at the screen. Some of them wanted to cry, meanwhile some of them wanted to leave and never look at that TV ever again.

The reason why cognition had that bruise and choker around her neck was because she died by hanging herself. The reason why she had stitches all over her wrists was because she used to cut herself. The reason why she had chains around her legs was because she could never leave the abusive relationship that she was in. The reason why she was dressed so sexually was because her husband always labeled her that way. Now it all made sense. It also made sense why the power of that cognition was so close to the level that a Ruler of a Palace would have - that cognition itself carried so much of Akira’s childhood trauma.

“Akira...” Ann covered her mouth with her hand while silently sobbing. The whole scene was so graphic that she felt scarred just by looking at it. By watching a poor child struggling and trying to save his mom that was obviously dead. Yet he was still trying, hoping, apologizing, begging for her to wake up.

The rest of them did not have any words to say - they were all stunned. Simply paralyzed, and the worst part was that the channel did not end; it had even more to show.

-

_ The door somewhere far away opened and closed; the world around Akira and Itsumi from black turned back into the grey-and-white living room with the boy lying in the middle of it as he hugged his dead mom close to himself while sobbing into her shoulder. There were footsteps fast approaching to the two of them, but raven did not dare to move or even simply look up. It was actually the opposite, his hold tightened around the woman in a protective way. _

_ “Akira-? Itsumi? Huh? -HUH?! WHA- WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!” After some silence finally came a shout of a man who was no other but Akira’s father, or step-father, if you prefer. Something dropped onto the floor - most likely the man’s suitcase as he also ran up to Itsumi in shock, “ITSUMI?!” He stared, and the way how raven had flinched he most likely expected to be pushed off his mother’s body, but none of that came, “S-shit.” He heard shuffling, “H-hello-? I- I don’t know what the fuck to do but my wife fucking killed herself! Send someone! Fucking now!” Pause, Akira realized that he had called the police, “I don’t know! I SAID—I DON’T FUCKING KNOW BUT HER SON IS HUGGING HER-!” An irritated sigh, “ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?! SHE’S DEAD! SEND SOMEONE!” Yamada moved to sit on the couch, “A-ah, right. The address is XX-XX-XX, p-please come as fucking fast as you can.” He hung up. _

_ Akira stayed in his place. His eyes were shut closed, while he hugged his mom only closer to himself. There were many thoughts in his head and at the same time there were none. There were memories, phrases, arguments, disagreements and many more playing like a broken record. The most painful thing was that he loved his mother to death; there was no one more important to him than her. She was toxic, even abusive and partially raven’s common sense would occasionally tell him that there were many situations and advices from Itsumi that were all kinds of morally wrong. But—he loved her. If things were different; if they were not with Yamada but with someone else.. They could have been happy. _

_ Itsumi could have been happy. _

_ Akira could have been happy. _

_ Happy. _

_ Happy is when you’re with someone. _

_ He was all alone. _

-

The channel cut off; the static took over the whole screen and then all of a sudden the TV cracked. A little amount of steam began to form on top of the device stating that it was broken, and no way it could be used ever again. But the thieves even if they had a chance would most likely not watch anything anymore.

“Fuck.” Ryuji crouched down - eventually sitting down on the floor - with his head in his hands while processing what he had seen, “FUCK!”

“We s-shouldn’t have-“ Futaba was cut off with her own sob; Morgana immediately at her side, “W-what if we just now—“ there was a pause, “-reminded him?”

“No! That’s not how this works!” Ann stepped in, “Please don’t tell me we reminded him of that! Oh, God no!” She shook her head with salty tears piling up, “No!”

“Panther..” Haru put her hand on the blonde’s shoulders, “Guys.. Look.” The girl pointed the finger to the corner of the room. Instead of the darkness - now there was a Will Seed.

“ _Resentment_.. huh.. haha.. hah..” Makoto chuckled, as she fell down on her knees with sorrow; she began to understand, “So.. the person who Akira cannot forgive is..”

“ _Himself_.” Yusuke concluded, while shutting his eyes in a pained face expression.

Some of them cried, some simply stood in silence while thinking, but none of them moved to pick up the cognitive skull yet. Akira was just a child that went through hell. He did not deserve this. No one did. No child should have ever went through anything like this, but now this all made so much sense. Why Akira never talked about his family, his hometown, and life before that. The reason why Akira protected that woman that night might have also been connected to the way how his mother used to be treated.

Now it all made sense. 

-

Akira was feeling on edge the whole day, but surprisingly he would actually say that today was a “ _good days_ ”. He had “ _bad days_ ”, “ _grey days_ ”, “ _okay days_ ” and almost never, “ _good days_ ”. It were these rare occasions when he would actually immediately get up from bed, willingly volunteer to wash the dishes in the kitchen downstairs, play some games on his console and sincerely have fun - not just do it for the white noise. He’d also water his plants and many more.

Akira had to admit that he was slightly worried about where Morgana had went, but he was sure that the other was fine. He was a mature creature; maybe even had triple more wisdom than raven could ever have - which was a bit hilarious.

The teen sat down to sketch. He felt like drawing, so, what he did was open up his diary that Sojiro gave him in the begging of his probation as he let his hand roam free around the paper. It started with a simple outline of a woman - he always found them easier to draw. Soon her proportions began to fill up the empty silhouette. Her big, expressive eyes with thick eyelashes; her puffy lips; her silky hair; her shirt and jeans. Soon the pencil was switched to waterproof black pen, as Akira began to trace the outline and do small details while switching between different markers again and again.

To finish up his drawing, he chose red colored pencil and marker while coloring in her hair. He added the shadowing with brownish pencil and light outline with the white pen - eventually feeling satisfied with his drawing. As he was about to pull away, something made him freeze. He stared at it for a long time, analyzing the woman who he had just sketched out. She somewhat felt familiar, but that smile that he put on her face - was not. _It did not belong there._

Akira had now an urge; he picked up the pen once again and started to change that detail. He traced over her face and turned it into a dull look. He made the insides of her eyes watery. Raven especially wasted quite a while of time darkening her face and neck, almost getting aggressive with it. For a moment he lost it - the pencil pierced through the page and tore the drawing apart; right in the middle. The imagine was unrecognizable, and that seriously hurt the other. Guilt. Sudden guilt overwhelmed him out of nowhere. It was just a sketch, so why he-

“ _I’m sorry.._ ” he apologized, as if talking to someone while lifting up his diary and hugging it close to his chest like a plushie, “ _I’m so sorry.._ ” he wished for someone to hug him, but there was no one.

_ He was all alone. _

  
-

Haru was the one who managed to move from her spot first and pick up the Will Seed. It quickly decreased in size, and after petting Makoto’s shoulder she reached it out for the brunette to take. The girl stared at the skull for a while, but eventually accepted it while tucking it away into her bag. They had to keep going - there was no time to simply cry.

“We have to start moving.” Makoto whispered, and after not getting any reaction from the rest of the group, she sighed and tried again, “You’ve seen this. We must help him. Sitting here crying over his trauma will not heal him. For once.. we must prove to him that we are here. For once we have to stop being so-“ her shoulders shook; her palms formed into fists as she felt her nails dug into her own skin, “-SO SHITTY TO HIM!” She shouted, which snapped out everyone from a daze.

“Queen..” Haru was already by her side trying to soothe the pain away, “You’re absolutely right. Some of us know the pain of losing a parent - and even though my situation was completely different from Akira’s.. I also watched my father die.” She looked down, “He was just a child. He didn’t watch - he was physically there. Personally, I would go insane from this.”

“ _I think he already did_..” Ann sobbed, while covering her face, “There is no way a person with a Palace like this.. _is not insane_.”

“Panther.” Yusuke said in a more of a threatening tone, for some reason something about blonde’s phrasing stroke a nerve in him, “Our Leader is not insane. He needs help. But don’t call him that word.” He warned her, and the model seemed to have caught up on his sub-message.

“I.. I’m sorry. I understand.” She wiped her tears, while standing up. Her legs felt like cotton, but she knew now was not the time to complain. They all felt shitty, it was obvious, “Let’s get moving..”

“Let’s go.” They said in union. Futaba was the last one to leave the room as she constantly kept glancing back as if to check for something, and eventually with a baffled face expression she followed the rest.

They walked out of the safe room too, and ended up in the familiar looking hallway which was when the next question arose.

“Wait. There are no stairs, how do we-“ Ryuji asked, and soon enough got his answer with Makoto pointing at the pattern on the floor. Right, this floor could also shift from normal to psychotic.

“Now that I think about it.. this single floor had two will seeds. Quite.. strange.” Haru voiced out; to which Futaba shrugged.

“This is not a big Palace - I’d say everything in here is about riddles and _playing games to get prices._ I also feel like there is simply a lot of hidden stuff and-“ hacker was about to say more but that was when Makoto interrupted her.

“Wait. What did you just say, Oracle?” She questioned, her voice careful and suddenly alarmed.

“That I feel like there is a lot of hidden stuff?” The red haired girl cocked one of her eyebrows up, to which the brunette shook her head.

“Before that.” Makoto elaborated her question, and hacker’s eyes went round once she noticed her own slip up.

“Everything in here is about riddles..” Futaba drifted away, not meeting their new Leader’s eyes. By the looks that the thieves gave to the pair none of them had caught up to the fact that Futaba was doing something behind their backs. It was obvious that she was letting on a lot less then what she really knew - which was highly concerning, considering the seriousness of the situation in which they had ended up in. After tension had mostly passed, Makoto deeply sighed and shook her head while stepping on the right floor patter to active the psychotic trance. The hacker blinked in surprise at the fact that the girl actually let it go, but somewhat smiled at the gesture of understanding.

Just as expected in the psychotic trance instead of a dead end with a blindingly white wall and a wheelchair - now there were stairs up leading towards the unknown darkness. Quite literally because the top of the stairs was covered by a dark-green mist, that looked disgusting. The stairs themselves - once thieves stepped on them - were made out of a similar texture like a wet tongue. It had something like a stream of saliva leaking all over it, dripping down in a slow pace. Ann and Haru looked away disgusted, trying to fight away the nausea and proceed their infiltration. 

“Are we ready?” Asked Makoto and after getting a nod from everyone, she weakly smiled and headed upstairs. With each move she took - the sticky substance would stretch from her shoe with the surface like a soft chewing gum.

“This is yucky.” Ann muttered to herself, trying to ignore everything as much as possible.

“Guys! A lot of weird readings are coming from there-! I can barely scan the area..” Futaba groaned as she fidgeted with her sweater - it was weird to see that she was still the only one not in the Phantom Thief outfit, “It looks some type of.. ugh.. labyrinth? Or.. _rooms_?” Great. The last thing that they needed was an impossible maze. Brilliant.

“That’s gotta be easy! I used to love those as a kid!” Ryuji cheered while jumping two steps up in excitement, and almost slipped down. Thankfully, Haru caught him just in time.

“Idiot!” Ann argued, “Haven’t you realized by now that it will most likely be filled with traps?! Or Shadows?! Or-“ she closed her nose, “What’s up with this place and awful smells?!” Blonde wanted to gag, and Ryuji too. The rest of the thieves gave them a weird look.

“It.. doesn’t smell like anything.” Futaba shrugged, “You’re a weirdo.”

“No-! I smell that too!” The delinquent defended Ann’s point; Makoto stopped for a moment to sniff the air but let out a groan.

“Can we not play games at the moment? Skull, Panther - I know this is very hard for both of you, but take a hold of yourself. Oh, right—Mona, do you-“ her sentence died at the end, as she turned around and did not see a cat walking behind them, “ _Mona_?”

“Mona?” Yusuke was suddenly alarmed; they all were looking around.

“Noir?!” Ann squeaked in her place - they all realized in horror that the two of their teammates were gone, “Oracle! Where are they?!” She did not need to ask as Futaba was already searching it up.

“That’s weird! They are already on the third floor-but-ugh..” the holographic screen in front of her began to seriously glitch, “They’re like-! Very far away?! I don’t know! I can’t tell!” The color drenched away from Makoto’s face.

“That’s bad!” The brunette covered her mouth in horror, “Do they even have Goho-M? Oh, God. Right - at least they got enough medicine from the safe room. Gladly.” She breathed in and out, “Panther and Skull don’t leave our side-“ her eyes widened, “Panther?! Skull?!” The two teenagers who had a habit of constantly fighting suddenly vanished - Yusuke, Futaba and Makoto did not even notice when exactly the duo had disappeared, “No way! Is he trying to separate us?!”

And that was when she smelled something too - it was similar to a bad fish; like there was a whole pile of them. This together was accompanied with a heady scent of a wet fur;dog like. As nausea was about to kick in; the brunette felt that the soft, sticky ground under her began to slowly suck her in, and before she could even realize it - the speed accelerated to the max, making her drop into nowhere. Everything went dark.

Futaba looked around mortified as it hit her that she was all alone.

“C-calm d-down-“ she tried telling herself, “-Akira will n-not hurt y-you-“ the red-haired girl gulped down her anxiety, while taking one more step up and finally setting a foot on the third floor that the rest of her friends did not manage to crawl onto.

There was a maze - just how she had predicted thanks to her Persona. In front of her were three tunnels; you could not see what was inside each of them due to the dark. Before every entrance stood a small wooden board with specific instructions before entering and equipment. It almost looked like some sort of.. game.

“ _Even I still did not pass through this challenge — though, I do not quite fancy the fact that I must be paired up with you.. Yet, rules are rules._ ” the familiar voice that sent a shiver down the girl’s spine echoed right behind her back; she flinched away while turning around and seeing no other but-

“ _Akechi_?!” Her eyes went wide at seeing the person in front of her; thanks to her scanning skills she also could tell that this was a real person, “Stay back!” The hacker took a fighting position, even though they both knew that if they were to have a duel - the detective would come out victorious without much effort.

“I have no intention of fighting you - even though I must admit that your reaction was expected.” Akechi rolled his eyes; Futaba noticed that he was also wearing his normal clothes, “Ah, you’ve also noticed my outfit-“ he smiled with the fakest smile possible that disgusted the girl to the core; this fucking maniac was standing right in front of her playing around as if everything what went down between him and the Phantom Thieves was nothing but a child’s play, “- _The Master of the torture chamber_ does see me as a threat, but the _Devil_ doesn’t.” He explained, the girl’s jaw dropped.

“You- You.. know..?” She asked, fear for what he could have done to Akira settled in, “What- What are you even doing here- how-?”

“Right. Would be good to explain, I suppose. Especially since we must work together and hopefully without guns at each other’s backs.. Well, we don’t have much time so I shall keep it short. You wouldn’t mind that, would you?” He chuckled at the end while crossing his arms around his chest; clearing his throat and starting his tale from the very beginning. 

-

Makoto woke up startled to the aggressive sound of chains. Still in a gaze - her memory slowly came back to her - she looked around, but everything was in the dark due to a bag hanging over her face. She heard stressed out grunts of pain, after a while she recognized them as Yusuke’s. The room was dark and gloomy, something cold was pressing right at her back and legs. Her arms were stretched up and tied together, meanwhile her legs were cuffed with something heavy hanging off her ankle; it hurt.

“Y-yusuke..?” She called out - abandoning the code names, by now it felt useless, “Are you- alright?” The brunette asked while trying to wiggle her body, which made something loudly fall onto the ground; she jumped at that, “What was that?”

“I apologize - that was myself.” Right, the boy was actually here, “I see that we are in a similar situation. The bag can be easily pulled off, do not worry.” The new Leader followed the task while pushing the fabric off herself and finally taking a fresh breath in.

Both Yusuke and Makoto were stuck to metallic tables. Their hands were tied with a rope, meanwhile their legs were cuffed together with a connected chain that led to a box in between the two tables. The wooden box had a code lock on it - _of course, nothing is ever easy._ Everything was dark and the only source of light was a small light bulb on top of them that kept blinking in a disturbing way.

“We can easily climb off, which is good news.” Makoto sighed. She was worried about the others, and wether they were as physically okay and mentally stable as her and Yusuke. They had to get out as fast as possible, to try and help the others, “We must somehow cut the ropes.” Brunette furrowed her eyebrows, the artist thought for a moment but soon enough jumped down on the floor - the chains dangled after him - while turning himself around with his back facing the girl.

“I have a sword, kneel down against the blade and cut it.” Artist explained, and brunette blinked up. She let out a small, ‘ _oh_ ’, but quickly shook her head and leaned forward, while bending her back to rip the ropes. It was rather an uncomfortable situation, but the best that they could come up with in such a short amount of time. As soon as the pressure around her wrists loosened and her hands were set free, she rubbed the skin to soothe the irritation while pulling out Yusuke’s katana and slicing his ropes too, “Great. Now..”

“The lock.” Makoto nodded, silently agreeing. It was interesting how well they functioned together and how fast they caught up with each other’s thoughts. She never thought that the two of them would fall in a flow so quickly and so harmonically. _Could that also be one of Akira’s hidden thoughts about them? That they would work well in a team? Or was it the opposite? Why were they put together?_

“We must put in four digits..” Yusuke trailed off, “Any important dates or number combinations that come to mind?” He asked Makoto.

“Could it be the death date of his mother..?” She guessed, the artist crouched in front of the box and fixed up the number, the lock did not budge, “His phone password?” Nothing, “His post code?” Nothing, “Uhm.. His birth year?” No, “When he first awakened to his Persona?” No, “Ugh.. His.. Uhm..” She stopped to think, as nothing else was really coming up. Yusuke was still typing in more combinations from TV channels or from general important dates, he even tried the boy’s computer password but that did not work, “Actually, Yusuke, how do you even know so much of.. his personal codes and passwords?” She cocked an eyebrow at slightly suspicious behavior.

“Ah, right, what a sharp behavior, Queen.” The artist weakly smiled, “Me and Akira are quite close in a way—he knows such things about myself too. From time to time we would go into Mementos together, and sometimes we’d have long conversations that would later on continue on in the real world over the phone. Eventually the information simply came to light, and I must say I have good memory with numbers.” It must be very good for him to genuinely remember that many combinations without even a single hint of struggle, “And.. Because we were close, when I first heard his mother’s cognition speak while thinking it was him - I was deeply hurt. I thought he was using us as tools just how my Sensei did. I thought that maybe power got to him and he was blinded with his own sense of ego. Turned out that our Leader is scarred, so we must save him. If all that it takes is for me to recall a number combination - it’s not a question of wether I can, it’s simply a must. I was foolish to leave Akira when he needed me the most - we only helped this place bloom and torment his heart further. I.. I will never forgive myself for that.” Every single word that escaped the artist’s lips was filled with so much passion and determination.

“Ah.. I see.” But what was strange is that she never knew that Yusuke and Akira had a slightly closer relationship than most of thieves. It never really showed up that much; _were they perhaps hiding it before?_ It was a maybe. After thinking about it, Makoto thought that perhaps it was never questioned, so none of them answered. As simple as it is. Yusuke and Akira were also never the type to voice out everything about their life; opposite of how it was for Ann and Ryuji.

Thanks to this Palace.. a lot has come to light about how exactly their ex-Leader honestly felt about their friend group, “We’ll help him, Yusuke. I know it.” _I don’t_ , “I’m sure it will be alright,” _I’m not sure,_ “So, don’t worry too much about it.” _Because we have to worry about our safety first as long as we are stuck here._

“You’re correct, Queen. Let’s resume,” he reminded her about the lock.

“R-right.” She nodded, “Let’s search the room? Who knows - we might find something.” The girl shrugged and Yusuke without a question stood up back on his legs as he began his search going as far as a chain on his ankle would let him. Makoto soon enough joined in, good that her vision had never failed her. Ironically enough, Akira would not see a single thing in here even with his glasses on. Imagining the poor raven walking around with a lost expression on his face made her warmly smile.

They looked around the given space in silence. There was a small chit-chat going around like whenever one of them would pull the chain of the other; or Makoto asking if Yusuke was okay when he accidentally bumped his head while climbing under the metallic table; the artist checking up on a brunette when she almost flipped down because she forgot she was cuffed to the wooden box. Breaking it apparently was also not an option - they tried, it did not budge.

“There’s nothing..” They gave up while sitting down on the floor, Yusuke’s back against Makoto’s meanwhile she mirrored his exact position feeling tired. 

_ “HELLO?! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?!”  _

The two of them jumped as a familiar voice hit their ears; a sparkle of hope settled in. It was the first time through the whole day that Yusuke and Makoto both smiled from pure happiness.

“Ryuji! We’re here!” Makoto shouted back - the blond’s voice came from the other side of the wall.

“SEE!? I TOLD YOU THAT WE SHOULD HAVE TRIED SHOUTING!” Ryuji said to someone, “WHATEVER, SO, WE’RE STUCK CAN YOU GET US OUT?!” Okay, maybe the fact that the person who made contact with them was Ryuji - was not the best of news.

“We’re stuck too!” Yusuke answered, “Our legs are chained and we must crack the code in order to escape!” The artist explained.

“OH SHIT! SUCKS TO BE YOU!” Ryuji screamed back, there was honestly no need to shout this loud, but well, “ME AND ANN HAVE LIKE TEN THOUSAND DOCUMENTS IN OUR ROOM WITH WEIRD SHIT IN IT- WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO!” So Ryuji and Ann were paired up together, Makoto though to herself.

“Can you tell us where you are and what is in the documents!?” Brunette was getting tired of raising her voice like that, but sadly they had no other choice. The next one to talk was not Ryuji, but Ann.

“It looks like we are in the hotel room of some sort!” The blonde began describing, “There is a bed, a fire place without an actual fire, no windows and no doors, but, we did have a massive amount of documents hidden all over. Some of them were under the carpet, the other pile was on top of the closet, and yeah.. They are all different.” She cleared her throat, most likely while flipping through some pages in order to bring up examples, “In total there are four folders. There is one with targets in Mementos and individuals that had Palaces, I don’t know some of them but I guess with the record that Akira visited Mementos by himself so many times..” there was a pause, and mumbling - most likely between Ryuji and Ann that was not loud enough for the other duo to hear - which soon stopped as talking continued, “The other folder has Akira’s family members and friends, we are in here too. I.. did not read fully, but it has quite some.. Honest opinions, let’s say..”

“What else?” Yusuke asked, Ryuji spoke.

“Well, man. The other two folders are filled up with weird ass shit like- one is just stuffed with creepy-ass drawings, an’ the other one is like ripped up pages from some kinda diary!” Thankfully, the boy realized that there was no need for screaming. Took him faster than usual.

“Did you see any 4 digital number combinations that maybe stood out to you?!” Makoto shouted at the other two.

“Have you tried his birthday?” Ann questioned.

“We’ve tried every single thing that could be possibly imagined! So please look around your room maybe?!” The brunette begged; to which the other two complied as they searched their own room. Yusuke and Makoto nervously chewed on their bottom lips as they waited, waited.. waited.

“WHAAT?! YO! THAT’S?! MORGANA?! HARU?!” Came a scream from the blond, and then a loud whine of pain.

“SHUT UP, RYUJI! YOU ALMOST MADE ME HAVE A CARDIAC ARREST!” Ann scolded the other, there was more arguing as suddenly a cat’s voice was heard.

“Guys!” It was Morgana - addressing Makoto and Yusuke, “You need a password with 4 digits, right?” He asked to make sure; at first Makoto nodded but then felt stupid for doing so the moment she recognized the fact that the cat in no way could possibly see her.

“Yes!” Artist answered for her.

“Try the day when he got arrested.” Yusuke immediately fidgeted with a lock and that was when the rusty metal had finally clicked and creaked open, “Did it work?”

“Yes! You’re a genius, Morgana!” Makoto happily beamed as she finally managed to taste freedom once again, “How we did not think of that?!”

“Don’t be too happy too fast, we still have to find a way how to get out!” The cat reminded them, “Are there any doors for you?”

“A vent opening..” Yusuke replied while checking the size of it, “We will be able to fit.” He confirmed.

“That’s awesome, dude!” Ryuji beamed, getting another smack from Ann at the back of his head, “What was that for?!”

“Watch where you step! You almost cracked my foot open!”

“Aw, shit. Sorry.”

“Fox,” this time it was Haru’s voice; up until now she had said nothing, but it was reassuring for Makoto to know that she was safe with most of the team gathered together, “Try it out and see where it goes. Meanwhile we’ll try to do a scanning of our own.” Yusuke looked back at Makoto and after he received the nod from the new Leader, he shouted back a hum of agreement.

Makoto and Yusuke began crawling through the ventilation, hoping that everything was going to be okay. 

-

Futaba stared back at Akechi mortified for her life. The story made sense - of course the detective, no, a maniac who had such a twisted mindset would go for something like that. “ _Worse than dying_ ”, sure. Amazing. How any more stupid could this fake-smiling egoistic boy even get? How deeply do you have to be buried in your own selfish wishes in order to literally be aimed at ruining someone else’s life all the way from within their brain. Futaba was right, they shouldn’t have come here. If they did not — Akechi would not have had such an open opportunity right at his hand.

The Ace detective would have never fulfilled his deal with the Devil.

“Akechi, do you know what will happen if you-“ Futaba was hoping that maybe her words will reach out something; but then it came down onto her. She was talking to her mom’s killer, to a person who assassinated others without a second thought nor regret, to a person who without hesitation decided to take out Akira with whom he actually appeared to be close.

“I do. And that’s exactly what I want.” The brunet smirked, “I crave to see his _real_ colors unleash themselves in the actual world! I want to have a fight with _the real Akira_ \- that Akira that _understands_ me! The one that is so fed up on hatred and rage, that he is just as _rotten_ _as_ _me_!” Akechi covered his face with his right hand while trying to hold in a laugh. Once he had calmed down, he straightened his uniform, “Anyway, enough of stupid questions, the first tunnel should be occupied with the rest of the thieves, I just hope that they are not idiotic enough to get themselves killed. The second tunnel is for us, and the third tunnel we are supposed to visit all together. The Devil told me that was how we could get the fourth floor crack open. Which surprises me that he knows that in the first place considering his situation.. Are you ready, Oracle?”

“I.. Why are you asking me when I do not have a choice..?” 

“Point taken. Let’s proceed.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact the room of yusuke and makoto is actually based on an escape room that i was in a year ago lol but where i was there was an actor but yeah


	17. 101

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The detective did not stop when he noticed that the hacker was not walking by his side any longer, “In a way, we are all distorted, aren’t we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so so long!! Wah!!  
> Okay so confession time i had no idea what should be on the third floor-  
> Thats why it took so long pft  
> Also i am MAD BUSY WITH SCHOOL I WILL DIE FROM OVERWORK HELP ;-;  
> But thanks so so much for comments as always ily ❤️ 
> 
> Today I present u:  
> 1) 5k+ words  
> 2) this whole chapter is futaba and akechi screen time  
> 3) i hope ull enjoy!!

Futaba and Akechi had approached the second tunnel. The girl was worried; she had to work together with her mother's _killer_. This was sickening, because at the same time she did not have a choice. There was no way for her to confront the brunet. Going against him would be suicide, too risky. The man next to her was a twisted maniac who would not hold back on anything. The hacker had to be as careful as possible, for her own sake. The duo walked up to the wooden board with the instructions written on it in dried blood. The handwriting was thick, but sloppy. You'd see a similar font in the typical horror game, but for some reason seeing it right in front of your face was a lot more terrifying than what it should have been.   
  


**_This challenge shall be untaken by the Fallen and the Saint of the Torture Chamber. The two of you are the closest persons to each Palace Ruler. Once you shall step inside - The Fallen shall loose his Robin Hood Persona, and fight with the guns, knives and Loki. Your main task is to discover a key. The inside will be filled with monsters that will attack you. Good luck. Stay alive — if you can._ ** ****  
  


They both had paused to read, Akechi's eyes scanned the text with a quick look. Futaba swallowed down at _the fact that brunet's Persona will be gone. Who was Loki? Was the detective even strong enough to withhold the Metaverse using physical skills only?_ She was not sure, but at least her abilities would stay, even though that was not much help.

"So that's how the Devil knew.." whispered the teen, "..he is most likely the one in control of this part of the Palace. How rather thoughtful." Akechi smirked, while picking up the weapon that laid on the floor; it was a silver gun with a small sharp knife, "I am the closest to the Devil, and you are the closest to the Master. Interesting pairing; in a way we are the opposites." The detective checked for the amount of bullets, "Limited.. a pity, truly. I am going to assume that there will be more bullets hidden inside. I'm getting excited!" The boy exclaimed, his sweet typical TV voice made red-haired girl internally cringe.

"When did you found out that there are two Palace Rulers in this Chamber..?" The girl asked, even though just a few minutes ago the brunet had already given her a short summary of how he ended up in this Palace in the first place; there were still things that were left unanswered.

"Same as you I have completed the game on the first floor - the chess board. What was strange is that I could only move the darker pieces on the board, but I payed no mind to that." He hummed, "After I've done that - I got a price, it was a key for the floating lock in front of the passage that led down. That was when I had met the Devil. Was it the same for you?" Akechi asked, the hacker nodded.

"Y-yeah.. but I could only move the white pieces on the board.. I guess that game was only meant for us to play." The girl strangely began to relax; weird, Akechi should have been the last person in front of who she would let her guard down, "I also opened up the lock and went down.. He was not happy to see me, though.." she confessed, suddenly her eyes snapped up, "So that was you who left the note that said that we have to go up to the fourth floor?! Was that—all a part of the deal that you made with him-?!" Her mouth gaped at the realization of the fact that this whole time the thieves had been playing right into the Devil's and Akechi's hands.

"Of course, I thought that was _obvious_." The detective rolled his eyes, "I was also the one who gave you the codes to the TV. Your brains are too idiotic and ignorant to be able to solve such a personalized task. I got them from the room with albino spiders. If you would arrange the cards right on the table - it would eventually give out one more price. Little hero-wannabes were too stupid to notice that, of course. But I found it boring to watch the memories, I had only seen the one that was titled " _aggressive_ "."

"So.. the TV broke and did not show us the last channel because it was already viewed.." the hacker trailed off, "This all makes so much sense now. What.. was on that tape..?" She asked, getting slightly more curious.

"The Devil's memory. It happens after his mother's death. Nothing too interesting." The detective shrugged, "Anyways. Do you have any other questions for me? Or can we already proceed, I am starting to feel exhausted from you acting like Sae-san." He asked, getting more irritated with each second. The brunet truly dropped his fake-good-boy mask in this Palace.

"Yes.. Have you met.. Akira's _other_ Shadow?" Futaba questioned, the other shook his head.

"No, but he is basically the same as Akira in the real world. The Devil told me the story of how all of this had happened." Akechi straightened his back, "The original distorted desire was to forget his own self. Akira began having a lot of mental debates about who he should really be. The Shadow in Mementos had formed on the day of his arrest - because that was when he truly began to question his own personality, life choices and situations. Everything from deep memories began to pile up, and he began to feel unfair over how no matter what he would do everything would end up being unfair. He battled himself daily, and when he had began the Phantom Thieves business, especially as the Leader, he had formed a Palace. As I've said before, Akira's distorted desire was to forget, but another part of him wanted to remember. So, the Palace Ruler split into two parts. The one who remembers everything and feeds on hate - The Devil; and the one who forgot his true self and past, and feeds off the toxic love together with pain - The Master of the Torture Chamber."

"Y-yeah.. The Devil hates everyone and simply wants danger, risk and challenge.. so he got along with you the most.. The Master of the Torture Chamber craves love, affection and attention.. he is even ready to suffer for it... and that is why he got along with me the best, since he felt like he could relate to me. After months of being like this.. instead of being two parts of a single person they.. became almost like two completely separate beings.." Futaba added, and the boy agreed.

"The deal that I have made with the Devil was to reach out to the Master of the Torture Chamber on the fourth floor and steal the key that would open up the cage in which the Devil is locked in at the current moment. After that, he said that we shall have the final fight, just how the both of us truly craved and wanted." He sweetly smiled at that; disturbing. Were they both aiming to fight.. _until death?_

"But.. What will happen once the Devil is out.. won't he try to.. overtake the Master of the Torture Chamber?" The hacker asked, the detective laughed. She flinched at the sudden loud sound; not expecting such bizarre reaction.

"That would be lovely. I don't quite enjoy the weak Akira this much. I'd love to savor the real ugliness without a child's play." He chuckled after that, seeming unphased, "Now can we finish up this useless chatter? We still have got a game to participate in."

"..Yeah.." what could she even say? Nothing. There was no choice for her but to simply comply and follow the brunet's lead, "Let's go.."

They proceeded to walk further into the Palace, with a heavy feeling at their hearts. At least on Futaba's, she was unsure wether brunet enjoyed it whenever the place had become worse or no. After talking with Akechi, the only thing that she realized was that the Ace Detective was planning to _die_ soon.

He was acting reckless and without any thoughts on consequences of " _why am I doing this_ " or " _what will I do after?_ ". It's like a death wish of his to fight with Akira before the end and that was why he was going so strong with it. That was dangerous, because if it was as serious of a desire as Futaba had assumed, then there would be no way of her to stop or unconvince Akechi.

"Interesting.." She heard the other boy mutter under his breath; the hacker quickly caught up to him. He was a lot taller than her which meant his steps were bigger too, walking next to each all the time was close to impossible.

"What's wrong?" Futaba asked with a confused look.

"Nothing. Just found it interesting how The Devil blocked off Robin Hood, and I am wondering wether that is due to the fact that enemies are going to be weak to bless." He spoke with not much care nor bother, there was almost zero fear within him. The two of them were stepping into the unknown, _how could one be so calm?_

"I just.. Hope that the rest of the thieves are okay.. and if they will find out that I did not tell them everything, they'll forgive me.." the girl suddenly confessed while playing with the lock of her hair in between her fingers; the further they walked inside the darker it began to get.

"Don't be bizarre." Scoffed the other teen; she could almost hear his eyes rolling, "Although I admit that they posses high idioticy. I wonder, why did you follow them if you are that against letting out the Devil?" The brunet asked, his words made the girl gasp while trying to come up with a reply, "You're taking your time, I see how it is. Do you perhaps still don't trust me?"

"I don't." Well, the answer to that question was a lot easier than the previous one.

"Justifiable." Nodded Akechi, their pace had slowed down as there was almost nothing visible at this point.

"I just.. They would have died here. I wanted to make sure that they are alright." Futaba mumbled; she cocked her eyebrow up in surprise after a small giggle that came from detective's direction had reached her ears, "Why are you laughing at me?" She asked, feeling offended at the clear disrespect.

"I just find that adorable. The sugarcoated _lie_." Akechi spoke with the voice that sounded like it was filled with poison.

"What are you even talking about?" The hacker blinked her eyes; surprised, and at first she wanted to stop, but decided against it.

"Let's be honest here, shall we? You say that you don't want them to die, and I am not dismissing such statement as false, but I have been watching all of you cretins for a while now. I think you get the kick out of this place, in a similar twisted way how I do. Akira - the, ' _oh, strong leader of the phantom thieves_ ' in reality is a distorted piece of an asshole. That's what I think, meanwhile you see him as a pet project." The words that came out - hurt like nothing else. The ground under their feet began to feel more solid, almost similar to wood and not wet-tongue-like. At least one good news, they were going to have something to properly stand on.

"What are you even going on and on about?! This is not true! Akira cannot be defined by his past, palace nor anything else! He's simply broken, just like- just like-" Futaba began to feel rage tickle down her spine, because she simply refused to believe that any of these statements could ever be true, especially about her true feelings towards Akira out of all people.

" _Just like you._ And you like that, don't you? You like the fact that you are not the only one who's broken and feels cracked in half. At first you hated being the only one on the team like that. You felt judged by the rest of the group for the way how your mind had been and you hated how exposed that made you feel. Then, you and Morgana stumbled upon a torture chamber. Amazing, won't you agree? When you found out that he has a palace, you began to feel _special_. _Needed_. Didn't you?"

"What do you even know?! I am not as messed up as _you_! How could I ever-" Futaba was shouting by now, not even caring that the tunnel could contain Shadows that would spot them on this instant.

"Face it. You got attached to this broken shell of a man. Discovering that in reality Akira simply suppressed his true nature, made you feel sick. You would much rather play some fairy tale story outside of the Palace together with Akira, and be there for him, not quite for his sake but to simply feel special, loved and adored. Getting called a Saint and having a special treatment from the rest of the thieves made you feel important. Even when Morgana was seen as an Executioner, instead of feeling bad for the cat you felt like that was an accomplishment. In reality, Futaba, you are as disgusting as I am." The detective fixed up his gloves, while petting the gun in his hand.

Holding the weapon in his arms just like that reminded him of the days when he had first learned how to shoot. Reminded him of the days when he bought his first model gun that he brought into the Metaverse. Reminded him how he kept coming back to practice more and more in order to become the most perfect at it. Reminded him how he got his-

"That's not true!" The girl shook her head. If she had cotton balls or discs with herself she would have stuffed her ears with them by now, to simply make Akechi's voice distant if not inaudible.

"Say what you wish, but I could see you more clear than a day. You're no better than these thieves, because you take advantage in Akira's mental health to make yourself feel better." The detective did not stop when he noticed that the hacker was not walking by his side any longer, “In a way, we are all _distorted_ , aren’t we?”

Suddenly a bloodcurdling siren broke out, the hallway finally lightened up with the red lights. The floor began to shake, as both Akechi and Futaba were trying to balance on their feet without falling.

“Dammit!” The detective tsked at something, and grabbed the girl harshly by her wrist, pulling her up on her legs and tagging her body behind himself. The grip was hurting her, and she was still confused, “Run!”

“Why?!” The girl asked and that was when she smelled it - distant scent of salty water, similar to the sea, but it wasn’t. Those were tears. In massive wave it was chasing right behind them, “No! I don’t know how to swim!” She cried out while following Akechi, almost clinging onto him with her full weight, “I’m gonna die!”

“Shut! Up!” The brunet pulled her behind the corner, hiding them both from the massive stream that still spilled all over the main corridor, “We can’t stay here or we will both drown! Scan the area!” They had to speak loud as siren was still piercing through their ears.

“I can’t! It’s all blocked off!” Futaba was at the verge of crying herself, as brunet was trying to think of a way to escape.

“ _Useless_. Can you get any more _fucking_ useless?!” He hissed under his breath while looking around with clear panic. He wished to die in the final battle, not from some sea of suppressed tears. That was the moment when his eyes landed on the door that was in the next opening. The only problem was the river that had formed by now, clearly separating their two ways.

“What do we _dooooo_?! Jesus, that’s not a way to _gooooo_! I am not even going to be buried!” Futaba tugged at her hair in clear frustration, and brunet at this point was imagining just strangling her right here right now so that she would shut up.

“We will have to swim there!” The boy pointed his finger to the next door, and the hacker paled. The water flow had calmed down by now and simply transformed into a river. The floor on which they walked at first had dipped into the ground, meanwhile every area that turned right or left stayed in the original position.

“DID YOU NOT HEAR THE PART WHERE I SAID I CAN’T SWIM?!” Futaba screamed, appalled. She was not afraid of water, but just the thought of being unable to touch the ground when it was needed was terrifying and could send her straight into a panic attack.

“Why was I supposed to be partnered up with you?!” Detective groaned while rubbing his temples, clearly annoyed to the bone.

“I don’t know!” The hacker barked back as an answer, “But if you will leave me behind, who knows what will happen!” She pointed her finger up, meanwhile the other teen gave her, ‘ _I fucking know_ ’ look.

To be honest any other day brunet would throw that petite, fragile body over his shoulder into the river and watch her drown with pleasure. Imagining the way how her hands would flutter in between water, and try to grasp for the ground. If her fingers would eventually discover a land to hold onto, Akechi would step on her knuckles with his shoe while especially digging his heel deeper with the intent to crush her bones. The girl would most likely scream from pain, and lose any remaining balance while opening her mouth only choking on more water. Slowly the burning liquid would feel like lava in her lungs and she would sink deeper and deeper; letting go off her fighting spirit-

“Akechi! Let’s _do_ something!” The voice pulled him out of his intrusive thoughts, and his eyes gently landed on hers, “Please!” She begged, and he had an urge to laugh. The red-haired girl was almost crying for help to a person who murdered her mom in cold blood. Silly, stupid.

Just like Akira.

“I did not intend to get wet today, but I must say we have no other choice. I will swim towards the other end, and you must make sure to hold onto me. You let go - you drown. You pull at me too harshly - we both drown. You must balance your body against mine by using your own brain, and do not try to climb on top of me. Simply hold onto my arm, so that we won’t die. Do you understand?” He asked, this time without shouting as siren began to slowly go down with each passing minute, “Marvelous.”

The detective sighed; mentally preparing himself for what was about to come. He took off his jacket and threw it onto the ground; then he pulled a hair tie that he had kept around his wrist in order to tie his hair in a ponytail. When he felt ready enough, he tested the water’s temperature with his finger and surprisingly it was quite warm.

“Disgusting.” He huffed, after all it was not water, but tears. For some reason that did not sit right in his gut, not because of empathy, but because of how cringe that was. _Seriously, a vale of tears, could this place get any more dramatic?_ Disappointing.

The brunet jumped right into the river. The flow was not strong enough to carry him away, but it was good to stay as cautious as possible. After feeling around for a while, he realized that his feet could not reach the bottom. That made a small bit of anxiety pass his train of thought, which he quickly brushed off when he heard nervous shuffling behind himself. Futaba was hesitating, and it was written all over her face.

“I will catch you. Jump.” Akechi tried to reassure her, and at first he was unsure wether it worked or no, but then after a minute the hacker began to slowly follow his example.

Soon enough, Akechi had her clinging onto her dear life against his right arm and shoulders, while trying to swim to the other side. No matter how well everything was going, he could not help but feel like he was being watched. Usually, that was his role to spy on the thieves and be an obstacle in their way, but now that was another way around. They were in the water, a place where their ability to move was limited and the worst part was being unable to access one of his Personas.

“You can let go off me now.” Akechi told the girl, the moment they finally had reached the other side with the door, “Are you capable of climbing up by yourself?” He asked, while already pushing his body weight up with his hands and throwing one leg up onto the wood for stability. The hacker was still in the water holding the edge with her hands, visibly shaking and panicking.

“W-what if I s-slip-“ she started, and the other already did not want to hear the rest. He did not have time for bizarre, childish blabber.

“Give me your hand.” He suggested instead, helping the girl go up on her feet by pulling her up from the water onto the floor. Futaba for a moment laid dead on the ground, simply trying to cam down from the events that just took place, “We don’t have eternity.” Brunet reminded her, and she nodded with an annoyed pout while standing up.

They were not wet, detective noticed. Metaverse was many things and especially separate from anything that could be described as normal, and yet there will never be a time when Akechi would be able to confidentially say that nothing will ever surprise him at some point.

“What do you think is behind that door..?” Futaba wondered out loud, standing by the detective’s side; slightly behind him but not too much.

“Only one way to find out.” The detective cracked up a weird smile; approaching the location with a confident look yet careful movement. As he opened the door, he made sure to stay behind the exposed new area so that no trap would jump right at him. Being an assassin for years and infiltrating Palaces all alone had given him a lot of skills and habits that could be brushed off as paranoia, but considering the state of Akira’s mind.. _maybe precautions were not so bad as it seemed._

After being sure that it was safe, Akechi and Futaba had peeked inside and their eyes widened at the setting. It was a single room with massive windows, rich carpets and gold with red everywhere. You could say that it looked exactly like any throne room in the castle but instead of the throne there was-

Hangman’s Gallows.

“You’ve come.” Their heads turned towards the voice seeing no other but a familiar looking demon cognition walking towards them.

She looked different than before. Her features had become a lot more softer, in a way - blurry. Her hair was down and messily brushed. Her neck instead of a choker was now cut open with a bone visible right through it, the blood from the wound leaked and stained all of her clothes all the way down to her waist.

“Are you the guardian of the third floor?” Akechi asked, getting straight to the business. That made the shadow lightly chuckle to herself.

“Impatient.” She spotted, suddenly her head turned to Futaba, “ _You lied to me, Saint._ ” The woman’s voice stung with poison, “You told me you were not going to destroy me, but here we are. The Fallen and the Saint going up against the cognition of Master’s and Devil’s mother.”

“I find the irony amusing. The closest people to the Palace Ruler get to fight against the dearest person to him. I hope destroying you will make him grow up.” Brunet’s eyes were filled with rage as he scanned her body, “My eyes hurt just by looking at you.”

“Oh, Fallen.” Itsumi clicked her tongue while gently shaking her head, “Just how much pain do you cary? How much misery do you live with that you find an enemy in everything? Make any disagreement a fight or a competition? Turn every possible feeling into hatred and murder?” Something along the lines must have hit a nerve, because the detective had pulled out a gun and aimed right at the woman’s head - firing around three bullets with loud shots. The cognition swung her hand in the air, pushing off and slicing bullets in half with her long claws, “ _Violence is not always an answer._ ”

“ _And suicide was not your only option._ ” The detective snarled back, “Look at that, you still went with it - leaving your son behind. Just like my mother did. You both failed us, and look how we ended up. _Happy_? I bet you won’t be when I’ll cut your throat only deeper!” Another five shots echoed around the room, but this time one of them actually managed to hit the woman on the side of her hip, splashing out the blood. Demon did not look pleased, but still contained.

“We can talk this out, Fallen and Saint.” She tried to negotiate with them once again, especially hoping that Futaba was going to speak up instead of being dead quiet and letting the brunet fully lead the situation.

“Did you talk this out? You didn’t. Why should _we_?” The detective snorted in amusement, “You’re just a cognition of a dead person, why would I ever listen to you?” His eyebrows knitted together in a mocking way while cruel smile creeped its way onto his face; he gracefully and slowly made his way forward, meanwhile she took a few steps back, “ _Begone, demon._ ” Another shot echoed around the room, and it was so loud that if made both teens shut their eyes slightly startled.

The next time they opened them they saw that the cognition was gone and nowhere to be seen, until they decided to look up. Itsumi was floating in the air with her bat-like wings of dark velvet color wide open. Her thin black tail swing behind her left and right, with spikes covering it in a whole. Her horns that were curled around her head had become larger and were now covered in noir crystals like a decoration, but in reality served as an SP support. Her sharp fangs were now too big to fit into her mouth, meanwhile the ends of her ears had turned sharp just like typical elf’s. Of course, her clothes also switched from daily pajamas into an armour that covered her whole body apart from the neck.

‘ _Great, we already found a weak point._ ’ Thought the detective, while preparing his gun for a fight. Futaba called her Persona in order to raise the boy’s aim and accuracy, ‘ _Maybe working as just her and me was not such a bad idea like I had firstly assumed,_ ’ understanding that this would mean that he admitted to the fact that Akira was better than himin yet one more thing, ‘ _Not that I have never considered it_ ’, he corrected himself. 

“Akechi! Be careful, something is happening!” Futaba warned the other, her Persona already in process of analyzing everything around. Detective mentally cursed himself for not having Robin Hood around when he was so needed.

Meanwhile Itsumi lifted up her hand and quickly put it down - the motion looked like she cut through the air. The two teens were confused, until the cognition split in between, separating left and right side and forming into two different forms. One was Wakaba Ishiki and the other was-

“Well that’s some dirty work, to make me fight _my own mom_.” Brunet smirked, while re-loading his pistol, “How can a person who Akira had never seen even be here..?” He wondered, staring at the way how distorted both women were. Unlike Itsumi they were dressed normally, the only part that gave away that they were cognition were wings and tails attached to their backs.

“I’ve expected someone like you to already catch up to things.” Wakaba muttered, and that was highly disturbing how accurately her voice sounded. The detective had almost forgot by now what it was like.

“Goro..” his own mom whispered; the boy grit his teeth, “Didn’t you read the label on the door..?” She asked; unlike Wakaba - Akechi’s mother looked a lot more frail and hesitant with such open confrontation.

“Akechi..” finally he heard Futaba say something, she was by his side and her fingers sneaked to tug at his clothes, “Don’t tell me.. I have to kill my own-“

“I’ll do it.” The boy interrupted her before she could even finish while straightening up his back. His eyes landed once again on the figure of his own mother, and nothing but simple rage and hatred could be tasted on his tongue. This was a fake, not a real person. It should not be hard taking down someone else’s puppet - a _representation_.

“Futaba.” Wakaba spoke, her body floated closer to them in the air - brunet immediately reacted by shooting, and making the cognition stumble back with annoyed face expression, “Don’t tell me you are going to work together with my killer! And to do what?! To kill me again!?”

“No!” Hacker shook her head, “That’s not what it is, you have to understand, mom! You’re not real!”

“But I could be, Futaba! Think about the times when I was real. In your Palace, I turned into a monster, didn’t I? But here-“ she lifted up her hands while pointing at the room around them, “-we could be together. Just like a family that you always wanted.”

“No!”

“Don’t listen to this useless chatter, Futaba. Get ready with your Persona, so that we can-“ detective did not want to waste any time, he could not bare to even look at what was right in front of him. His veins felt like they were boiling.

“Goro..” she whispered again, that angelic voice that he hated so much because a simple sound of it reminded him of a betrayal that he had to go through when his mom had left him, “You’re lost.. My dear, precious little Goro. I am so sorry for what I had done, please listen to me first. Give me a chance.”

“Shut up!”

“Look at me, Goro.” He did not even notice as woman was already standing right in front of him, with one of her hands cupping his cheek in a loving manner, “I’m right here.”

“You’re not, you fucking fake.” If Akechi was not human, his eyes would be glowing with red. He had never wanted to punch someone else’s face as much as he did now.   
  


_“Why.. Why must we fight, Goro? You could just stay here..”_

_“Futaba, don’t fight it. Stay with me like a good girl that you always are.”_

  
  
  


The two of them should have looked more careful before walking inside the room 101 - a place where you must face your own fears. Futaba and Akechi had always feared to be succumbed by their own past traumas, but here they were facing the raw reality of what had partially ruined their lives forever. There were some things that one could never forgive.

“No! You’re not real, get away!” But now Futaba was stronger, she was not going to fall into the pits of darkness once again. Hearing the girl’s words must have boosted something within the brunet, because before he could even properly think through his actions, he found himself speaking.

“The past has to stay in the past, and it won’t be in the way of my desired future!” Akechi shouted at both of them, making the two demons retreat with their wings flattering in the air.

_“Come! Loki!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason why this work is called “distorted” is because even though they are exploring someone else’s Palace (Akira’s); they are all deep down distorted.


	18. truth serum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana, Ann, Haru and Ryuji read the files about themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya!! Long time no see :D unless u r checking up my other fanfictions too lol (this was not meant to be self-promoting, just saying) 
> 
> Sooooo... Today we have *drum roll* 
> 
> 1) a text that i read only once oopsies  
> 2) a bit of a glimpse at what devil is like aww  
> 3) ann, morgana, haru and ryuji 5k+ words screen time  
> 4) and... some juicy juice at the end heh 
> 
> I MIGHT (the key word is “might”) start updating faster bcs today high schools closed down and we r moving back to online learning so yeah 
> 
> Love you so so so much guys 💕 you were being so nice with the comments just as always, i almost teared up ;-; thank u!!

“These files.. they say how he _truly_ feels about us.” Ann said to Haru and Morgana who had suddenly appeared in the chamber that they were stuck in through the golden door on the right. Inside there was a simple, empty room. Their current task was to open the silver door on the left side that they found after ripping the wallpaper down.

They were all still worried about wether Yusuke and Makoto were going to be alright while going into the unknown through a vent, but the two of them were mature and strong enough to handle themselves in case of any possible danger.

“Are you going to read them, Panther?” Questioned the cat, not knowing which answer he was exactly expecting. If they were all a bit more honest, of course they were curious. There was no denial in that, “Maybe we shouldn’t-“

“Or maybe we should.” Haru reached out for the two folders - one was blue with the letters ‘ _Master of the Torture Chamber_ ’ imprinted on them and the other one was red with ‘ _The Devil_ ’ clawed on top of it, “There could be something important in these, right? Also, if we want to grow as his friends, I think that would be valuable to at least understand the source of a problem.” Without even getting other’s opinion she opened up the blue folder, “For the sake of it being honest - we will read our own files, is that alright?”

“Y-yeah..” stuttered Ann as she picked up a document that had her name on it. The material felt nice against her fingers, she could feel all the little letters pressed into the paper and the font looked similar like it was written with an old typing machine.

There was a sketch of her in the right corner drawn with a light pencil. It was her in her summer school uniform, while standing next to the school’s gate with a full-teethed smile. Her right hand was on her hip, meanwhile her left hand was waving at someone. Unlike her usual hairstyle though, her hair was put down and her eyes instead of blue were colored in with wine shade.

“What does _that_.. mean?” She asked herself, ignoring the way how others were humming while scanning through their drawings. And after a sigh, she had decided to finally read what was actually said. 

——

** ANN TAKAMAKI [ LOVERS ]  **

When I first met her, I remember being especially mesmerized by her beauty. They say it’s wrong to form your first opinion on a person based on their looks, but I couldn’t help it. I remember being so focused on the way how dollish she looked like, that I stared at her for a good few seconds just to simply remember.

I admire her confidence in the battles, I admire her strength as she managed to never let rumors in the school get to her, I admire her ability to always focus on what’s truly important. It amazed me how after Shiho had tried committing suicide, instead of sulking in self-hatred, she tried to become a better person and work on developing her Persona to a higher level.

I remember being jealous. I still am. I am jealous of how quickly she adapted to the changes, flexible to any environment, but at the same time she remained herself and never dropped her own opinion and ideals. I’m jealous that no matter how much she was hated by others for her looks, personality and opinions - she never desired to forget nor fit in.

At the same time I am happy for her, because even though she went through a nightmare with Kamoshida and school gossips, it doesn’t seem like they left any visible cracks on her. Of course I know she could never be perfect, we all have our own flaws, but I’m just so happy to know that she is not the type to easily give up while knowing when to stand back. 

——

Ann pulled away from her file almost at tears all over again, because she did not expect for this to be so.. nice. The girl expected harsh insults, threats, even disgusting remarks but for the raven to actually think so highly and respectfully of her had never been the turn of events that she anticipated to happen.

“Akira..” she whispered to herself, “I’m so sorry for.. everything what I said about you. You’re not _insane_.. You just.. need our help, don’t you?” 

-

Ryuji flipped his paper back and front multiple times, thinking that there could be something hidden at the other side. Quite thoughtful of him. Once he was sure that there were no other weird symbols or drawings to see, he finally turned it to the main text to see the sketch and a whole mini-essay staring right back at him.

“I look kinda cool.” He smirked, as his eyes traced the outline of a drawing of himself in a sports uniform; it was the one that Akira and him would usually wear whenever they went on running trainings together after school, “Well.. Let’s see what this shit says..” he sighed. 

——

** RYUJI SAKAMOTO [ CHARIOT ]  **

In a way he was the beginning of the phantom thieves. He was the one that witnessed me awakening to Arséne. I had always associated Ryuji with determination and power, because no matter how much his life events were trying to bring him down he never let it get to him.

His father left him at a very young age, Kamoshida broke his leg, he lost all of his friends and even a scholarship that he was hoping so much for.. but he did not let it phase him. He stayed himself: the constant carefree guy who is up for hanging out at any time during the week. No matter how silly he might be at some times, he knows when to actually be serious.

I’m glad that I had met him, because it was right after we met that I began to truly question that wether I must change or no. Being around him, and seeing how much we all began to grow truly made me start seeing things from a different perspective. Ryuji was the first push to flipping my world upside down, and I could never thank him enough for that. I owe him for this. 

He is the friend who I will remember until the very end. He had been there for everyone, and he is the one around who anyone could truly relax. I am jealous of that. I wish I could be as simple to understand and talk to. I wish I could as easy express how I feel and voice out my thoughts. But I could not ever be mad at him, no, I’m happy to see him mature through this all. I’m sure that one day he is going to be a truly great person. 

——

Ryuji gasped as he read the last line. This might have been not long, but the amount of sincerely and personal information put into this was soul-breaking. Was this truly how Akira thought of him, even after all the shit that went down in between them all? Just how selfless and kind raven had to be to keep this up.

“You’re such a dumbass..” he smiled, “We’re going to save you.” The blond promised to no one in particular, but now more than ever he was determined to finish what they had started. He owed his best friend as much. 

-

Unlike the rest of the thieves, Morgana was pretty quick about it. He knew they did not have much time to lose and if his other friends were already reading, then maybe he should start doing so too. He had faith that Akira was deep down a nice person, and even if the files would contain something nasty - that was okay too. All person had their right on not liking everything about the others around them, it was totally normal.

“He drew me as a person with cat ears?!” The other gasped, as he stared at the drawing of himself as a human in awe, “I always knew he had some type of artist talent!” The cat grinned to himself, while lowering his eyes back to the text. 

——

** MORGANA [ MAGICIAN ] **

I don’t know if I would even be here if Morgana was not constantly by my side. I might feel alone deep down, but at least physically I still have someone next to me constantly. He’s here no matter if I am asleep or if I am awake. It’s nice. It’s comfortable. It’s comforting.

I always have someone to talk to, and the conversation that we have go into such depth that I can’t help but enjoy them. Morgana is so smart, I had always been taken aback by such intelligence from someone who had lost their memory. Not that amnesia affects the level of anyone’s IQ, but I thought that it was rather an interesting factor how wise Morgana can be at times.

I’m scared that once we are done with Mementos he is just going to leave, because I am not sure if I can really be left alone for too long with myself. I don’t want him to go, but I can never tell him that because I know how selfish and egoistic that would sound. Morgana probably has his own life somewhere and the fact that he can’t remember it - is keeping him away from it, and I don’t know if there is even at least a slight way on how I can tell him how sorry I am.

I just hope that he would know that I am here for him. I can also hear it when he has nightmares and I know how much they scare him; I want him to know that it is alright to confide with me in anything that could ever bring him this much discomfort. At the same time, I’m jealous of how little that actually torments him. He lost his memory, but he still can put away his focus on something else. I wish I could do the same and I wish I was not as afraid to remember. I wish that just as him I wanted to know what happened to me in the past, but instead I shake like a coward. 

——

“Akira..” Morgana frowned at the paragraph that was right at the bottom of the page, “I wish I knew how to help you in a way that would truly heal you..” His ears pressed to the sides of his head, as the cat looked down on the floor clearly upset. He was not as happy about what he just found out as Ann and Ryuji were, because instead of focusing on the compliments that were written all over the file - all he could see were the glimpses of self-hatred that popped up here and there through the praise towards his friends, “I hope that you will be able to forgive us at the end of this..” 

-

Haru had no idea what to expect. The two of them did not spend that much time together, plus they’ve known each other a lot shorter than the rest. And yet the file about her existed same as about the rest of the thieves which meant that no matter what kind of opinion it was - _Akira did have it._

The first thing that caught her eye was an elegant drawing that was filled in with pastel shaded watercolors. It was a sketch of her in a cute purple-pink short dress while holding a plant in both of her hands as she smiled. It might have been simple, but it was cute and adorable. She already had a good feeling about this. 

—— 

** HARU OKUMURA [ EMPRESS ]  **

Everyday when I look at Haru, I always wonder how long will it take for that bubble to pop. Wasn’t she supposed to be mad at us? Blame us? If I was ever in her position, logically, I would definitely assume that we were guilty behind her father’s death. Not even once had she tried to accuse us in anything, which sometimes makes me wonder if she is even okay. Sometimes I even want to hug her and just hold her close, but I don’t like physical touch. At least.. I think I don’t.

She might appear as fragile, but I’ve never seen a person this unbreakable before. Even though she might appear like she was made out of glass, there is simply no way to even crack her. Haru always stands on her feet strong. Even though she always had a lot of money her whole life it never blinded her; she is a hard-working, determined student who wants to achieve results by her own skills.

I love her mini-garden. It looked so pretty when I first saw it, I couldn’t help but admire that beauty. I remember that evening going straight home and trying to take care of that huge plant in the attic by myself. It was the first time I had done something else rather than cutting after coming from school.

Losing a parent must be so hard. Haru is so strong that she managed to not hate the world for what it had done to her. I’m jealous of how caring she is towards anyone, I’m jealous of how forgiving she is, I’m jealous of how sweet and angelic her soul is. I really wish I was more like Haru. 

——

“ _C-cutting_..?” The girl’s face paled as she read the word again, “ _Cutting_?” She asked again, feeling a strange weight on her chest suddenly push all the way down to her stomach. Even though this text was about her, it still ended up being way too private.

“Noir? Are you alright?” Ann came up to the other girl, and placed her hand on her shoulder, “Does it say something bad..?”

“N-not about me..” Shook her head Haru, “It says in here that Akira—“ she stopped herself while thinking twice. The thieves were her friends, and she trusted them with her whole heart, but she also knew that in the real world and not in the fairy tale sometimes it’s good to leave some things _unsaid_. Ann and Ryuji were definitely the most emotional ones in their group, and always spoke before thinking properly. Telling them something that could be clearly used against their Leader was simply unfair. It was not her place to tell, “ _T-that Akira loves the food that I hate. I was just surprised and all.._ ” she quickly covered up with a slight chuckle at the end.

“You must really hate that dish, man!” Ryuji said, “I mean you got almost as pale as Akira himself!” He pointed out, to which the blonde girl agreed.

“Totally.” Ann nodded her head; soon enough deciding to change the subject once again, “Were all of your files nice?” The model decided to ask instead.

“Yeah. Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing that we read them, but we should definitely keep that a secret.” Morgana answered, and all except for Ryuji agreed.

“Why though? That only proves that he is actually a good person and that this Palace is the same as Futaba’s—“ he tried to argue against the cat’s point, but Morgana simply picked up the red folder this time.

“It’s not. We already discussed this.” The creature sighed, while picking out the files with each other’s names and giving them out to the right person, “The Will Seeds are based on the Resentment, a strong feeling that the situation has treated you unfairly. That’s the only clue that we got so far, and just because these files are saying good things about you it does not mean that we got it all figured out.” Morgana sighed, “Same as with the floors.. it’s no surprise that there are also two versions of these.” He pointed his paw at the papers, and that was when now the thieves had actually felt nervous.

“There’s no way that they would be too different from the first ones.. Right?” Ryuji tried to reassure himself but miserably failed.

“If we were ready to take in the good.. we must face the bad too.” Haru said, with a serious look on her face, “It’s wrong of us to be ready to accept only one side of him. We must face the truth as it is, alright?” She cracked a small smile at the end of her speech, which made the other three feel a bit better.

Ann stared once again at the file in her hand, this time the color of the paper was black and the letters were written in white and red ink on top of each other. The sketches were a lot more messier and disturbing. There was not much coloring, but more like obsessive circles that danced all over the place. It was like someone bad drawn these using a specific technique but forgot to erase the lines and just left them where they were. 

——

** ANN TAKAMAKI [ ENEMIES ]  **

I hate when that fucking mouth talks. Always jumps to conclusions without ever properly thinking. Seriously, does she think she’s that special or something? The only reason why I would still even keep her around is because I’m lacking on fire specialized Personas. She’s so damn useless in fights, especially with the fact that she is lacking in physical and gun attacks! It’s so fucking annoying that we waste so much medicine on her.

She acts all high and mighty about everything, but seriously I can’t wait for her to trip over something and just maybe break a leg? Ah. That wouldn’t keep her away.. She’s got more brains than Ryuji and would probably heal in the Metaverse. Well, bummers.

Honestly, though? The slapping me next to Shido’s Palace just because I was voicing out my point for their sake? Can these thieves get any more dumb, I just wish that I could dump them already and take all the work in my own hands. If only she didn’t sneak in after us that day I would have so much less shit to take care of. 

——

“W-what?!” Ann couldn’t hold it in as she finished reading; frankly she was not just hurt but also embarrassed because few of the points were kind of making sense, “W-wait, which paper am I supposed to believe then?!” Now that was a good question, “Does he actually think this about me?!” To say that she was shocked was probably too light of a description. 

-

Morgana looked around at the rest of the thieves and how they were reacting, seeing the way how his friends were chewing on their bottom lips and tapping their feet against the floor made him swallow down a nervous gulp. _Here it goes_ , he thought, _the faster I read it the faster we will be done with this already._

——

** MORGANA [ AMATEUR ]  **

I think out of the whole team of these bunch of idiots I can stand the most the cat looking creature. Even though he says he’s a human, he really should be happy that he is inside the cat’s body - my favorite animal. If he was a dog then I would already scoop out his eyes or cut off his tail~ I fucking hate these barking, smelly pieces of shit. But even more I despite humans, honestly why can’t it just be cats? Would have been such a better world.

What does piss the shit out of me is when that motherfucker thinks he can order me around. A guidance, he says? None of us even need him for that at this point, and honestly I could have looked up how to make tools by myself online. But whatever, it’s all for the deal, huh. But I swear the next he is going to tell me to go to sleep when I want to do some shit I will fucking lose it! I should just lock him in the bathroom when he misbehaves next time. 

——

“M-my..” Morgana swung his tail left and right as his mood instantly dropped even further down, “This is quite.. _angry_.” Was all he could come up with saying. He glanced at Ann who did not look any happier with whatever was written on her file, “Maybe we all deserve this slight humble down..” he thought out loud, while waiting for Haru and Ryuji to be done with their documents. 

-

Haru was probably not ready for whatever that awaited her on the paper - no - she was definitely _not_ ready. The girl decided to sit down on the bed that was in the middle of the room as she was tired of just standing around; she finally had began reading. 

——

** HARU OKUMURA [ PUPPET ]  **

I think it’s her own fault that she got so easily played by her father. She was the one that let him, after all. If she decided to actually defend herself years ago, then maybe it wouldn’t work out as bad as it did. But whatever, children are just stupid, aren’t they? But then why the fuck was she sulking over the fact that the old man’s passed? Her problems are finally resolved.

No. She was foolishly still played around like a fucking marionette in the dollhouse. I hate weaklings like that especially, the ones that use the fact that they suffered in the past as a personal excuse to not fighting back and taking risks. She does own all the money that she needs, shouldn’t she be fucking happy now?

I never believe in this kind act, I think it’s nothing more but fake try to fit in with the rest of the world. People like her just end up being a prey for the predator in this dog eats the dog world. If she won’t learn how to show some teeth, then I can’t wait to see her fall. At least her gun attacks are useful, so maybe I can let her stick around a bit more. 

——

“P-puppet?” She repeated the word again that was right next to her name, “So.. In reality he thinks that I’m just.. a puppet?” She asked, knowing that no one apart from Akira will ever be able to answer this question. 

The paragraph that she just now had read seemed to posses so much rage and at the same time.. _boredom_? It sounded like a completely different person from their Leader had written it. The raven boy that they all knew wouldn’t even dare to talk so carelessly about something as major as someone else’s grief, plus, the first Akira seemed to have felt so _guilty_ about it.. 

“There is no way that this is the truth..” she whispered to herself; feeling something tingling her eyes only now to realize that she was about to cry, “N-now really is not the right time..” Haru quickly wiped her face with her sleeve, while trying to collect herself, “I’ll prove him that I am not a weakling..” 

-

Ryuji groaned as he plumped down onto the floor. His bones and muscles stung from all the walking and fighting that they have done in a single day. But it was not like they could really pull back while in the middle of a task. Is that why Akira always made them complete Palaces under two days? He must be pissed off right now in the real world that they keep delaying Shido’s change of heart.. _Whatever_. 

“W-what?! Wasn’t I written before as Chariot or something?! Why am I a freaking _weight_ now-?!” The blond scoffed; clearly offended. 

——

** RYUJI SAKAMOTO [ WEIGHT ] **

Vulgar. Talks too much and too often. I even once fantasized about what it would be like if I pushed him off the cliff. He’s childish, I especially remember my attitude towards him dropping more and more the more he talked. The thing is I do not like emotional human beings, but there is a massive difference between being emotional and caring about others and being emotional while giving honest shit only about yourself.

Even though I am not the sentimental type, at least I always know when to stay quiet. What to say in which situation and how to twist relationships. Ryuji is probably dumber than a rock when it comes to simple social science like that. His over-exaggerated expressions and reactions are also such a pain in the ass. I can never depend on him with a task during a boss fight, because he will always miss something or fuck up. He’s lucky his persona has many physical attacks, otherwise I would have gotten rid of himself somehow by now.

If it wasn’t for him this wouldn’t have happened. I would still be a complete person. He was the one that made me drop inside the Metaverse and discover Kamoshida’s castle. He was the one that made the other part of me begin questioning wether I want to be like him or like myself. The want to fit in with them and to not pretend but to actually mean everything what I say led me to this damnation. It’s fucking disgusting the way how I am today, and I fucking blame not just Ryuji - but all of them. This is all their fault. 

——

“Skull?” He heard Morgana right by his side, and the boy almost jumped up in his place as he was startled by a sudden voice that came out of nowhere.

“A-argh!” He shouted, dropping the file from his hands, “Oi, don’t sneak up on me like that.” Ryuji frowned at the other, while picking up the papers back into a stack, “What would we do if we would have lost all of them?” 

“You.. sound weird.” Ann commented, “Does it say something.. really bad?” She asked, knowing too well that hers was not super kind to her.

“I-I guess..” he looked hesitant, “But you know.. It just seems like he’s.. in pain. If you would have showed this to me before I would totally loose my shit, but now that I’ve seen what he went through..” blond went quiet, “I don’t get one thing, though. It says something about all of this being our fault, but I thought that this Palace was formed because of the shit that happened to him when he was a kid?” The other thieves looked up at him with curiosity.

“It says that this is all our fault? How so?” Haru asked, as she finally stood up from the bed. Even though they agreed not to read each other’s files, now she got curious.

“Y-yeah.. It says in here-“ the boy cleared his throat as he began quoting from the text, “ ‘ _The want to fit in with them and to not pretend but to actually mean everything what I say led me to this damnation. It’s fucking disgusting the way how I am today, and I fucking blame not just Ryuji - but all of them. This is all their fault.._ ’ “ he stopped reading from the paragraph, “I don’t think I really understand what this all means..” 

“Maybe he wanted to relate to us more and that’s why he thought changing would.. make us like him better?” Thought Ann, to which Morgana hummed while voicing out his own theory.

“Maybe we overworked him..? After all, all Akira ever did for the past few months as a phantom thief was some type of work. Not everyone could handle it. This, plus all the stuff that happened to him when he was a child..” The cat and Ann kept thinking, meanwhile Ryuji decided to re-read his file again in hopes of discovering a clue.

“ _He got jealous_..” Haru whispered. 

“Huh? Jealous?” Ann asked, repeating what the other girl said.

“I.. I don’t even know myself what exactly happened. But I think in a way we are all right. All his negative emotions scooped up into one, months passed like this and then- “ she glanced around the room, “ - _this_ happened.” 

“So.. It really is our fault..?” The blonde model couldn’t get it out of her head, “No way..” 

“Guys, look!” The cat shouted as he pointed his paw at the silver door. All of a sudden the letters in the air began to appear, writing right in front of their eyes with something that looked like fresh blood, “This is a quiz!” He gasped, coming up closer to see better. The rest of the group followed his example. 

_** Who is Akira Kurusu? ** _

_** The Trickster ** _

_** The Devil  ** _

_** The Prisoner of Fate  ** _

“I mean.. He did say multiple times that he is a Trickster, no?” Ann spoke up, “He even told us that he was having a dream about it.” She said, the rest of them weren’t so sure. 

“Let’s not hurry, we don’t know what will happen if we get the answer wrong.” Reminded Haru, and Morgana instantly agreed. 

“We might have not seen the Shadows so far, but if we will have to fight once we get it wrong we might actually get seriously damaged..” The cat said, especially eyeing Ryuji out of all of them, “Let’s think about everything what we have seen and heard so far while being in this Palace.” 

“The Distortion on the Nav did say that he sees himself as the Devil.” Haru pulled out her phone, “And this place is a Torture Chamber...” 

“Even though we heard a saying: “Master of the Torture Chamber” a lot, I don’t see it as an option here. Strange.” The cat took one step closer, “How about.. all of them?” He asked - and the moment he said that one more option appeared at the bottom. 

_** Who is Akira Kurusu? ** _

_** The Trickster ** _

_** The Devil  ** _

_** The Prisoner of Fate ** _

_** All of the above ** _

“T-that’s unfair!” Ryuji scoffed, “He simply hid one of the options!” The blond tugged at his hair, “What would have happened if we got it wrong!” He cried out, meanwhile the others decided to ignore the tantrum and just press on the last answer. It sparkled with green and soon enough next question followed right up. 

_** What did Akira Kurusu forgot?  ** _

_** His past  ** _

_** His true goal  ** _

_** His hatred  ** _

“It’s.. again. All of them. At least I think so..” Haru whispered, as she glanced up.

“Actually, we never really knew what were Akira’s true intentions to begin with ever since he had joined the Phantom Thieves. Like - I get it if our first target was Shido, for example but then why did he even..” Ann commented, not paying much attention that one more answer was added to the list. 

“Now that you said that.. you’re right. We never really asked him why he decided to continue being a part of the phantom thieves.” Ryuji agreed with the girl.

_** What did Akira Kurusu forgot?  ** _

_** His past  ** _

_** His true goal  ** _

_** His hatred ** _

_** All of the above  ** _

“But how could a person just.. forget something so important?” Haru wondered out loud, as she selected the last option once again with green lights sparkling.

“Man, this is _easy_!” Ryuji smirked, as she relaxed while sitting down on the floor once again.

“Can you get up?! You’re not a dog!” Whined Morgana, clearly disgusted at the lack of the boy’s personal hygiene. 

“W-whatever.” The delinquent rolled his eyes, while standing back up. The writing in the air appeared once again, but this time they froze at the question right in front of their eyes. 

_** Did Akira Kurusu commit the sin of murder?  ** _

_** Yes, intentionally  ** _

_** Yes, accidentally  ** _

_** No ** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. in my first draft Ryuji was actually named a “horse” instead of “weight”. But after brainstorming it got changed, since the Devil sees ryuji as a pain in the ass lol aka more nicely put “weight on his shoulders” ✨


	19. to face myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phantom Thieves together with Akechi reach the fourth floor, where they finally meet The Master of the Torture Chamber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya!!! Thanks so much for the comments!!!! ❤️ as always i love uuuuuuuu
> 
> 1) didnt re-read  
> 2) wrote at 2am after a massive maths and psychology test  
> 3) but hey akira screen time not really but kinda sorry qkzhkwjw i hope this chapter will make a lot more things clearer if not feel free to ask in the comments  
> 4) someone actually asked me if i have a plot or if i am making things up on the way and the answer is yes - the plot does exist, sometimes it changes wiiskkwms  
> 5) im tired ;-;

The ex-leader came back to reality once again, after failing to reach his teammates through a devise to go inside Shido's Palace for the day. _Only one more letter of recommendation was left_ , he thought to himself, and he had to do most of it alone. It was like his friends had completely forgotten that they had a deadline to compete against. _Was there a reason why the group began to avoid him so intensely?_ Even Futaba. His mind drifted back to the day when it was his birthday, the red-haired girl and Morgana gifted him a model gun that he confidently used ever since whenever he travelled through the Metaverse. It was comfortable in hand, caused massive amounts of damage and aimed just where he wanted.

Akira stood in front of the shop that closed right in front of his eyes, the owner did not even spare a look at him while passing the teen with a cold shoulder. He thought of getting something warm to eat before heading towards the Leblanc, but he guessed the things after all were not going his way today.

It was evening now, in some places you could see petite piles of snow on the ground with tonnes of footprints all over the street. Raven tucked his face further into the scarf that he wrapped around himself, while the weight on his back sunk deeper.

For the past few days he had felt especially on edge, or like something was not quite right with him. But Akira had no idea what exactly was wrong, even though something kept itching at the very back of his skull not letting him ever be at peace. His dreams were restless - constant nightmares, so every single morning he awoke with a heavy sigh.  
  


_"Let me go!"_

_"Just shut up and get into the car."_

These voices were coming from somewhere in front of him, and they sounded so familiar. Nostalgic, even. Akira could not stop himself from taking a step forward right towards where the sounds of some fight were coming from.

"I- I- I will call the cops!" The woman's voice was still protesting against the clearly drunk man who had too much alcohol in his system. What was happening right in front of his eyes was disgusting.

"Call them if you want! The police are my bitches. They won't listen to someone like you." Something came over the raven, because this time he knew he had to step in. All the worries that he had before about being caught, attracting too much attention or getting into another trouble were gone the moment his eyes had actually witnessed what was happening.

"Leave her alone." Akira snapped at him, showing up next to the woman's side as he glared at the other with intimidation, "If you won't — you'll regret it." He threatened, but suddenly he noticed that the faces of the people who were right before him were a lot blurrier than normally. His glances were clean so it could not have been an issue with them, "Am I.. _sleeping_?" That was one of the ways how raven would usually tell the dreams apart from reality, "But what is this..?"

" _That's my memory._ " He heard his own voice speak from afar, and as he turned around his jaw almost dropped at the sight in front of him, "What? Do I look that shocking?"

"You-" _look bizarre_ , he wished to say but decided against it, "Why-? What is happening?" In the meanwhile the scene with the drunk man and a strugggling woman had stopped in movement as if the time got completely frozen, "You.. Looked different last time. I mean.. I looked different last time." He corrected himself, “Why are you like this—“

"Last time?" The other him asked, as he walked up to the nearest car that was parked on the street and jumped up on it without caring that it will get damaged.

"Last time.. We met in the.. Chamber-looking room, but you looked exactly like me." Akira tried to explain, but now that he actually thought about this - something in here was not right, "Are you.."

"You can often hear my voice, but I can assure you that this is the first time you and me meet face-to-face." The other smirked with a mischievous look in his eyes, "Tell me - do you remember this night?" The automatic response to the question was obviously _'no_ ', but the more he spaced around, the more he began to understand.

"I.. remember. That was the night when I got arrested." He mumbled to himself, "It was a cold day.. And I was walking home. I especially spent a lot of time outside in order not to see my dad. Instead.. this happened." Raven sighed, "Maybe I should have pretended that day that I did not see anything. I.. Sometimes I let myself wonder what would have happened if I simply walked by.”

"Shut up." The other him cracked one of his fingers, "Just shut the fuck up." Another crack, "Do you even hear yourself? I can't believe that you and me are truly the same person." He chuckled, even though it sounded forced, "You and me have the same sin of drowning in resentment, but we really do view it differently."

"Resentment? How so?" Akira asked, not even questioning the strange phrasings. He was asleep, after all, there was no point in getting too carried away with this pointless argument that he was probably going to forget soon enough.

The other him lifted up his palm with two fingers up, as he began to list, “There were two massive shitty things that happened on that day. The first one was that we felt _sorry for ourselves,_ ” he put the second finger down, “Second that when I jumped back here it was the time when _we got separated_ , and all because of our goal for coming back.”

“Our goal?”

“Our _true_ goal, Akira. Fucking _think_ about it. I know you don't remember, since you've suppressed it all, but let me get few things clear to an asshat like you. I don't fucking care about what happened to mom. Was that traumatic? Yes. Did I get over it? Who knows, but I don’t fucking care about it anymore. I don’t even think about it. Mom wanted to go so bad and thought it was not worth staying for her son? _Fine_. She can go anytime she wants, I will fucking help her if she desired death so much! I don't care about what our dad does, and you know why? Because I _don't_! I don't care that this night I got arrested, I don't care about all the cases that we have solved and Palaces that we went through. What I do fucking care about is why we decided to do this again. Why we were split so apart from the very start? _That's_ what I care about." The way how he was speaking was filled with so much blank emotion in it. Like he was trying to communicate his feelings by phrases, but due to his lack of tone it simply did not work the effect that it was supposed to.

"What are you even.. Talking about? Who are you?" Akira could only ask so much as he stood in the middle of his dreamworld in pure surprise.

" _Our first goal as the Devil to kill God who got out of control. Remember it, Akira._ Remember not the past that Yaldabaoth made you feel distorted over, remember not the present that was affected by the way you've become in this timeline, but remember the future that will come to ruin if you won't either let go or forgive." Something extremely painful was behind these words, that the ex-leader still could not understand.

"What- What is this even about?" He asked, feeling hesitant wether he even wanted to really know.

"We are one. But Yaldabaoth realized soon enough that I was dangerous, so he split us apart which made both of us distorted in our own way. He locked me away inside your and my own Palace of resentment in order to win once again. You must remember and accept the truth. You have to fight it." The other him jumped down from the car, meanwhile raven took a step back feeling threatened.

"I- This is nonsense-" he could not even properly speak, every single word that came out of his mouth was a mumble, "What are you even- I'm so lost."

"I _AM_ YOU! YOU _ARE_ ME! REMEMBER! You locked me away! You are going to damnation! _WHAT FOR_ , AKIRA?! WHAT FOR?! For _FRIENDS_? _FAMILY_? _IGNORANCE_?! DON'T MAKE ME FUCKING LAUGH! THESE FRIENDS ARE NOTHING BUT A SIMPLE _ASSISTANCE_ IN WHAT WE _MUST_ DO! They treat you like GARBAGE! Do you think I like watching how people that I remember so differently be this way just because you are weak? I HATE IT! I HATE THEM! MOST IMPORTANTLY - _I HATE YOU!_ ” There was pure rage and hatred in the other's voice as he pushed Akira in the chest with his hand, "GROW UP, AKIRA! You are scared of your friends? Or future? Akechi? _Yourself_? YOU ARE THE DEVIL WHO IS MEANT TO TAKE DOWN THE GOD! THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE! THERE IS SIMPLY NO POINT IN OUR EXISTENCE UNLESS WE DO THIS!” Nothing around them mattered anymore, but raven began to feel overwhelmed and terrified of what was happening. He wanted to wake up and for this dream to be over, "They're coming for you, Akira. And _they will die when they will fight Arséne who became your shadow_." The boy gasped in shock, "If you will still reject me until that moment comes - I will simply have to destroy you myself. Not because I care about them, but because I stopped caring after I saw how they began treating me in a different timeline. I will save them and keep Akechi alive this time because I will need them to destroy that God. You won't stand in my way any longer, unless you accept me. We either fuse back together or I will become your own ruin.”

"W-what?!" He gasped, taking another step back, "How—"

"You must either let go or forgive everything and everyone." Replied his other self, his voice was filled with venom, "You're running out of time, Akira. And I won't hold back. Very soon the thieves are going to reach your Shadow on the fourth floor of the Torture Chamber where they will steal the Treasure and open the cage that you are keeping me in. The moment it’ll happen, if you will still reject me I will have no other choice but to _sacrifice_ you for the sake of the future.”

"You.. are me." Akira exhaled, highly disturbed at what was happening. He never had a nightmare like this before, "How could.. I destroy myself? Why are you threatening me? This is- This shouldn't even be happening. What is this all about? What will happen if you.. kill me?”

"I am you. That's correct." Nodded the other, "If you will disappear, you will just disappear. It will be over for you. But you wouldn’t mind, would you? I know what is on your mind, Master of the Torture Chamber. You were thinking to about committing suicide after Shido’s Palace would be complete. So now tell me.. _Why_ , Akira? Why is this happening?" No answer, "Silent treatment? Fine. I will tell you myself. It's because your true goal is to destroy the God, but he decided to twist cards around and make you destroy yourself. _Sadly, but the only thing that you really are is a Fool._ " Suddenly everything in front of his eyes began to fade before he could get any more answers out of his own suppressed self.

Raven jumped up awake finding himself lying in the middle of a safe room inside Shido's Palace. His head was aching in agonizing migraine, skin fully sweaty and mouth dry. He would kill to have a drink more than anything. His SP was too low to keep going, he truly had to pull back for today and let the others know how far he had got.

"I.. I'm running out of time..? What does that mean? Am I..." he swallowed down, while opening a Navigation app on his phone, "Going to die?" Distortion of the Diet Building blurred away into the unknown and he found himself truly standing outside the cold streets of Tokyo.

Usually he would forget the dreams that he had, especially nightmares. The effects of fear would last for only a few minutes, but then instantly fade thanks to the strange amnesia. But today he could not forget; it was the same as whenever he would visit the Velvet Room while dreaming. Could this be a warning? Guidance? Remember the future? He would love to do what is best but the true question was.. how? He did not know.

He knew nothing, but suddenly he was afraid of whatever that was about to come.

 **_“Maybe.. dying is not such a bad thing anymore. Should I.. die? Is that what I am supposed to do..? What.. What am I supposed to do? Can someone just tell me.. Why am I always so alone?”_ **

-

Makoto and Yusuke kept crawling further through the vent. By the time that over fifteen minutes had passed, the two of them began to get tired. Brunette's elbows and knees were both hurting, and itching from the rough metal that kept rubbing against her skin. Fox who was right in front of her seemed to be no better; he kept grunting from the neck and back pain that radiated all over his body.

"This is.. ridiculous." He mumbled to himself, "I wish we at least knew where we are being headed." He admitted, as they took a turn to the right.

"I couldn't agree more.." Sighed Makoto, but both of them looked up noticing the light coming from somewhere, "Look!" She exclaimed; the artist lifted up his head and gasped in surprise, "Finally!"

"That's a pleasant turn of events." He smirked, as he crawled faster and the current leader caught up with his new pace without bumping into him. But there was another problem, as they reached the end they noticed that the ground was at least 10 meters away from where they were at the moment. The place from within looked like a rich throne room of the castle, "Look! That's Oracle and someone in the dark outfit.. That voice.. It belongs to Crow!" He pointed his finger in shock.

"What is he doing here?!" Makoto's eyes went wide as she tried to take a look at the situation but couldn't due to Yusuke being in her way, "What is happening? Is he hurting her?!"

"That.. Would not be the case." The other shook his head while humming, "They seem to be fighting together against the cognitions. One of them is Wakaba-san, the other one I do not recognize. Oracle is serving as the other's assistance. What is truly a question is why does he posses a different Persona from before?" He commented while observing the battle.

It was almost scary how strong the attacks had looked like even from far away. He felt the slight wind blow each time Akechi landed a hit at the target without any mercy in his movement. The two of them did not even look like they needed any help, because ace detective was handling one successful punch after another - decreasing his enemy's HP at a scary speed.

"Crow.." Yusuke mumbled the code name to himself, "Could he have come here to cause a mental shutdown inside Akira?" That was the only logical reasoning he could come up with.

"If that is the case, then we must stop him before he could get anywhere close." Makoto said in a determined voice, in which the artist decided that maybe it was their time to act.

"How do we get down?" He questioned, looking at the ground that was so far away that it made his feet tingle and stomach twist in nausea, "We will break our legs if we simply jump - and there are chances that it will cause Crow to act up. What's your say, Queen?" Makoto was quiet for a moment, and with a whine furrowed her eyebrows.

"I- I don't think I know what to do, but we have to come up with something. The faster - the better." The longer she was acting as the Leader of the Phantom Thieves, the more pressure she felt on her sore shoulders. For some reason this was a lot more tiring and scary than what she had ever imagined for it to be.

-

"Do you think.. Akira has ever killed anyone?" Ann asked the rest of the group while they stared at the question that appeared in the air with shock. None of them were sure of what to say.

"There's no way!" Ryuji immediately defended his best friend, "Have more faith in him! That's Akira we are talkin' about!"

"But don't forget." Morgana spoke up, "Palaces are people's cognition, not reality. Basically, what they think is the truth - materializes as the truth in here. So, if we imagine that Akira blames himself in someone's death, then similar to Futaba he would view this as an act of murder." The cat was trying to phrase things as nice as possible.

"No way you're saying-" The blond was almost red from rage, "He ain't a killer, Mona! He's our friend!"

"I know! But think about this logically! There are two "yes" options and only one "no" option! Plus, the "yes"s are way too specific to just be there, you know!" The cat folded his hands across his chest; frowning, "I care about Akira as much as you do, Skull. But as long as we are doing this we have to be sincere with the reality of things."

"But this is murder that we are talkin' about! Do you even understand how seriously effed up this is?!" Ryuji was still going, making Ann sigh in irritation. Instead, Haru decided to be the one to take the lead in the conversation.

"In my good file it said that Akira was questioning why was I not mad at the Phantom Thieves that my father had passed away. Could that be a hint to the answer for this question?" She tried to lead the rest of her friends to where she was coming from.

"So it's a yes.. Accidentally?" Ann asked while looking up at the options, "But.. It wasn't our fault."

"It wasn't. But I still think that answer is a yes, wether the issue is about Okumura or no. We have to press this at any rate." Morgana said, "I would like to press 'no', but I feel like 'yes, accidentally' is a safer option in this case." He admitted, while tugging at Ryuji's sleeve, "It also could be about his mom's death.. So, don't jump to conclusions if it will appear as green, alright?" Begged the other, to which delinquent eventually nodded.

"I.. Alright."

They selected the 'yes, accidentally' which triggered green sparkles to fly all over the place. Instantly after that the door that they all stood in front of had opened up revealed a dark tunnel ahead.

"Are we.. not gonna talk about this?" Asked the troublemaker while rubbing the back of his head, "Why was this.. the right answer..? Dammit!" He slammed the fist against the wall.

"We don't have time and enough knowledge to discuss anything." Answered Morgana, as he stepped further in, "This is the same place where we used to be before. We came back to the third floor." He confirmed.

"Kind of sucks that this place does not have a map.." Ann noted as she threw her hair back and walked right behind the cat, "Is this.. a wet tongue..? It's all sticky and slimy." She gagged at the thought while immediately covering her mouth.

"That's unpleasant, but the faster we go - the faster we escape this." Haru replied, while following behind the rest.

"Let's go!"

They ran straight towards where the lights were coming from, and soon enough they found themselves in something that looked like a lobby of some sort. There were two more tunnels apart from the one which they just had escaped from, and the stairs that led down.

"That is probably where we came from." Realized Haru, as she checked to see what was there, "That's right, they are leading towards the second floor."

"Someone had been here." Morgana noticed, while looking around, "There are footprints. These ones definitely belong to Oracle, but the other ones are a lot bigger. They look quite similar to Akira's.." he sniffed the air while trying to locate a familiar scent, "Should we be.. worried?"

"Of course!" Haru exclaimed, "We all stumbled upon each other, but then that must mean that Oracle was alone this whole time!”

"But this place does not see her as a threat, though..?" Ryuji wondered aloud; getting a hit at the back of his head from Ann, "What was that for?!"

"Are you even thinking about what you are saying?! The moment Akira's opinion changes about her - she's doomed! She can't even fight with her Persona! What should we do?!" There was serious concern in her voice over the problem.

"The footprints are leading towards the second tunnel, so we should head there." Fluffy-haired girl pointed out as she made her way forward.

"Wait. Let's go back into the safe room and grab some medicine first, alright?" Suggested the cat, as he looked at the others. Eventually, they have decided on doing exactly that before walking into the unknown without any preparation.

-

Akechi had been fighting with his full power out. He knew that he was slightly being reckless, but thanks to the fact that he was being supported by the hacker girl, he knew that he could give it his all. Whenever he was about to use the gun she would raise his accuracy and evasion levels, when he was attacking the cognitions in order to break specific barriers Futaba would supply him with a dosage of HP and medicine, when he was striking with magical and physical attacks she would double his attack.

Surprisingly, they were actually a good team. They understood quickly what had to be done and how, so soon enough they fell into a synchronized strategic fight that did not even require any communication to happen between the two. They were both smart and independent enough to know what was the best thing to do at which moment.

At some point the detective felt like he was being stared at. After years of being an assassin, after 2 years of the Metaverse and after many experiences in the police the boy learned a lot about being aware of your own surroundings. Yet, he did not have time to turn around and check up by what exactly his gut was bothered. The moment he was going to turn away his head - one of the mom-demon cognitions were going to spring right at him and it would be a game over. As much as he would love to assume that Futaba would use life oilment and make him come back to the battle, she could also use Akechi dying in the battle to her advantage and run away.

And with the last blow from his physical attack that hit both of the shadowed beings; the two of them eventually had fallen forward with screams from pain.

"I- I can't believe this.. I can't believe that my own son.. fell this low." Whispered Akechi's mother, as she laid on her side while slowly breathing in and out. Her white robe was now covered in blood, same as her hands, "Goro.. My little angel.."

"Futaba..." whispered Wakaba with a sad look, "Come here.. Help me.." she begged, to which the hacker shook her head.

"You're not real. Ever since the Phantom Thieves have healed my heart, I learned how to tell apart lies from reality—wait, what are you doing? Crow?" She watched at the way how detective's mom was acting; she reached out her hand, and strangely enough the brunet let down his guard and crouched right next to her, "Hey! Be careful!"

" _She's dying. I just wanted to say goodbye_." His tone had zero emotion present in it, which made the red-haired girl nervously look away like it wasn’t her place to say anything, "You know, mother.. I've been doing all of this to make Shido apologize to you, even though it was late. With time I began doing this for myself because I craved revenge. At the moment, I made the deal with the Devil, that once he is out, we are going to have a duel. If I win — then he will assist me in taking down Shido, and I will lay out all the blame on him. If he wins — then I will assist him with triggering a change of heart in Shido and help him deal with Mementos, where later on he will give himself in to the police. Now that you saw my full power today, do you think I will win?" He asked, as he finished explaining.

"You are so, so strong. My _angel_." The cognition smiled, as she cupped the boy's cheek with her shaking hand while leaving a trace of blood on him, "But I am afraid that even you.. Might lose against him. The only opponent who can truly defeat our Master is the Devil.”

"I wasn't talking about the Master, I meant about the Devil. Can I defeat him?" He re-phrased his question, to which the woman lightly chuckled.

“With that.. _creature_.. You stand zero chance, angel. But it wouldn't hurt to try.." she smiled, and suddenly her form began to fade right into the thin air together with Wakaba, "Just be careful.. _Please_." The moment she finished her sentence her body had disappeared, leaving the two teens in wonder.

"That's.. not what you told me. You said that the deal was that if you will help the Devil get out and then he was going to fight you—" Futaba wanted to confront the other about his lie, to which the detective turned around to stare right at her face.

"I did not lie, mind you. I just never said the _full truth_ , did I?" He smirked, "Anyways." He picked up the key from the ground, "Now we can open the door to the fourth floor." He announced, to which the girl nodded while following behind him, "Then let's go back."

As they did that Futaba had glanced up and noticed a familiar figure’s face sticking out of the hole high up on one of the walls.

“Crow, look!” She pointed her finger, making the detective actually look up at what she was trying to show him.

“How.. interesting..” the brunet snickered, as they came up closer, “I see we’ve got company.” Yusuke and Makoto on the other end shared the same, scared look.

-

“Okay, now that we are pumped up with medicine then we should—“ but Ryuji stopped, and almost screamed at who he was seeing, “CROW?! OH GOD GUYS HE _KNOWS_!”

“What are you doing here?!” Ann immediately jumped in front of others with a fighting stance and a whip in her hands, “How did you access this place?!”

“What is your goal!?” Morgana joined her, ready to call Zorro for help any second.

“No matter what it is - stay back!” Warned Haru, as she pulled out her gun, “Where is Oracle?”

“Guys, calm down.” Futaba had finally decided to make her appearance from behind the detective, “I think before going at each other’s throats we should really talk.” She announced.

The thing was that at first her original plan was to find the rest of the thieves and fight off Akechi, but after witnessing that he had an ability to posses multiple Personas and especially how strong they were - she knew that chances of winning were way too slim. Makoto and Yusuke who also tagged behind them probably shared the same opinion after seeing a small part of the battle between the brunet and cognitions.

“I agree with Oracle. So far Crow had not done anything too dangerous for us to jump to conclusions.” Makoto decided to somehow smooth the situation, but it seemed to make it only worse.

“He shot Akira in the fucking face! That’s enough dangerous reasons for me if you ask!” Ryuji spatted out, ready to jump at the other but Ann hugged him from behind while holding him back, “Let— _go_ —!”

“No! Stay still, Skull! There must be a reason why Fox, Queen and Oracle are so calm, we must trust them!” The blonde tried to make the other understand that most likely their half of the group was missing a needed piece of information in order to form the puzzle as a whole.

“Let me speak, if I may.” Akechi cleared his throat, “That is true that I targeted your Leader for my assassination before.” He confirmed, making Ryuji grunt from anger in Ann’s hold, “But I’ve made a deal with him. That if I help him have a change of heart, then he will let me help change Shido’s heart.” Futaba’s eyes went wide as she realized that detective was saying what was comfortable for him, “I was a victim in what Shido has mastered.. More than anything I desire for that rotten adult to confess his crimes.” The hacker was not sure if rage was sincere in this act or no. _Why did Akechi constantly said the different thing whenever the deal with the Devil was brought up? What was his plan?_ “And that is why I had decided to assist you, my fellow ex-teammates, in changing Akira’s heart and taking away Shido’s. I promise that I am not lying.” There was silence.

“Go eat your own ass.” Was the only reply that he got and it was from no other but Ryuji.

“So that’s how it is; but just so you know - you’ll die without me and I am not planning on pulling out simply because you will all be in my way. I’ll get there no matter what.” The detective furrowed his eyebrows, “But with my help we will line together and end this faster.”

“There is no way we will fall into this obvious trap!” Ann shouted, and gasped at what their leader had decided instead.

“Very well.” Makoto answered, “Let’s proceed together.” She nodded, while they all pulled out keys that each of them picked up on their way here.

“I can’t believe this...” Haru whispered, but still complied without much fight.

“Then let’s move onto the fourth floor.” The detective announced, almost too desperate to just go already.

The group began walking inside the third tunnel where none of them had been before. It was dark, darker than usual and colder. Their feet were slightly sinking into the ground; it felt like soft meat that was boiled for far too long and could rip apart at any second. Eventually most of them also closed their nostrils in order to block off the decomposing odor that naturally triggered nauseous effects on anybody’s body. Suddenly, they all stopped after a small giggle ran around the place. It sounded like it belonged to the little girl, which instantly made the thieves stop in a fighting position and look around.

“This is just.. creepy.” Ryuji sighed, as they all relaxed once again after no sudden attack had followed, “Are we almost there?” He turned to Futaba, which made her nod.

“Yeah. Just a few more—“ And that was when Futaba’s clothes had changed into her Metaverse outfit. From this point on even she was recognized as a threat, “As you can see...” she finished the sentence; they all reached the final door for them to open. Without any hesitance, the detective inserted all keys that they’ve collected inside each lock, opening one after another in a slow motion and once he was done doing that - the chains that surrounded an entrance broke with a loud crack revealing a way towards outside.

What they did not expect was a massive field with a chess design that was simply splashed with blood no matter where they looked. There were eyes, mouths and teeth randomly sticking out from the floor as they loudly blinked and breathed. In the middle of if all stood a grand throne with no other but Akira sitting on it. Both of his hands were gripping the sides of the chair meanwhile his face looked broken and dull. He was dressed in a similar outfit to Joker’s but without any mask, instead of it there was a golden crown with all kinds of shining stones in it on top of his head while coated in thorns that occasionally made Shadow’s skin bleed.

“A-akira...” Futaba whispered, while reaching out her hand but stopped the moment he looked up at them from his dreamy state and they were met with a pair of golden eyes. He slowly stood up, and made one step forward.

“ _Some of you have come to make me face myself, meanwhile others came in with an attempt at freeing a monster locked deep within._ ” His voice sounded like it were multiple people talking at the same time, “ _There is no way I can let this happen, at least for as long as I am alive._ ”

“Then let’s fight. It’s not like I am that interested in you anyway, I’m sure you will be an easy opponent.” Akechi clenched his fists, “So don’t waste my time.”

“ _Oh_?” The master took another step forward, “ _Is that so._ ” All of a sudden a Shadow winced, and grabbed at it’s own head in agony which made the thorns pierce deeper with blood spilling out on the floor.

_**“Maybe.. dying is not such a bad thing anymore. Should I.. die? Is that what I am supposed to do..? What.. What am I supposed to do? Can someone just tell me.. Why am I always so alone?”** _

“What is happening?!” Ann asked in fear.

“Those are Akira’s thoughts.. right now.” Futaba analyzed the source of signals thanks to her Persona, “This is very bad! We came at the wrong time! We might have _triggered_ something right now! These vitals are going mad!”

“ _I guess.. If all of you.. are determined to make me remember this much._ ” The Shadow spoke, as he lifted up his hand, “ ** _You have an hour to steal the Treasure that will open the Devil’s cage and stop me. If you will fail - I will self-destruct; and take the Devil together with me._** ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOW IS THIS STORY OVER 100k WORDS WHAT


	20. sad, pathetic tale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Thieves realize that Master after all was not a target that they could handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay but writing this chapter was very hard idk why so i honestly hope that you guys will like it ❤️ thank u so much for the support and kind words on the previous chapter, it means so much for me. I dont know how to express my love for you guys in words, but honestly: thank you 💕 
> 
> So, today i present:  
> \- a battle :D
> 
> Possible TW: Arachnophobia, Wolves/Dogs chasing, Gore, Self-harm

**59:59**

"Everyone, get ready!" Screamed Oracle, as Master lifted up his hand and immediately started off with an Almighty attack. The wind that blew together with the blow knocker down the thieves and Akechi from their feet.   


Ryuji and Ann loudly grunted as their backs hit the wall behind them, and the moment they fell down they began coughing for air. Their HP began drastically falling. Surprisingly, Akechi caught Haru in his hands before she got hurt meanwhile Yusuke stabbed his sword into an eye that was sticking out of the ground, remaining balance on his feet. The eyeball began to fill up with blood from the damage and soon melted into the ground. Apparently it was a separate cognition on its own. 

"Is there any way to negotiate with him?!" Asked Haru as she stood up and lifted up her gun, "He's way too strong!"

"There is no way.. He gave us a suicide limit." Makoto shook her head, while gripping at her own fist, "But we have to figure out something! And we should do that as fast as possible!" The rest nodded, to which the detective chuckled.

"He gave us a clear instruction. If we free the Devil then I'm sure we would be able to stand against the Master." He explained, while looking around, "Mona, where is the Treasure?"

"It's..." The cat nervously looked up, "It's that key around his neck." He pointed his paw at the Shadow's chest. And truly - there it was shining with it's full potential - golden key that was colored with ruby stones and shining diamonds, "But there's no way we can approach him like that! He's way too on gua—" before he could even finish his sentence, an electric attack stroke right at him; knocking him over to the ground.

"Mona!" Gasped the rest of the groups, but before they could do anything the Master raised both of his hands and casted out more magic spells. It seemed like he did not care about taking a break or letting his enemies take a turn in the battle. He was going all out, but at the same time he stayed composed.

Yusuke looked up in horror as he watched a massive fireball form right above his head as it spilled over at him; making his whole body burn in flames. Ann was quick to come to an aid, and threw medicine his way which he caught, but as she was about to retreated she noticed that her legs were frozen to the ground.

"What are these attacks?! I've never seen anything like this before!" The model whined, while trying to free herself. Makoto appeared by her side to shatter the ice with her feet.

"I don't know, but stay cautious!" Warned their new Leader, but she should have taken her own advice. Suddenly massive pink, yellow and turquoise sparkles circled around her and before she could even shield her face - they blew up - throwing her body a meter away like it was nothing.

"He knows our weaknesses, fighting him without cheating will be useless." The brunet spoke up once again, "I will take his Treasure, but it will be your goal to unlock the Devil and bring him to our guidance. Can I truly entrust all of you?!" He asked the rest of the group.

" _Too much talking._ " Akira's Shadow angrily whispered; he stomped his feet making the whole ground shake and a massive black sword appear in his hand, "Just go away from this place. Leave me be. Forget about this. I don't want to remember, why is that so hard to accept?" Master gritted his teeth as he sliced the air with his weapon, but the damage soon came at everyone while taking away 230 HP points from each teen.

"He knows your weaknesses too!" Ryuji finally replied to Akechi, while holding his shoulder that began to bleed, " _Captain Kid_!" He decided to attack the Master with an electric attack which did succeed, but it almost did nothing to their opponent, "Shit!"

"Plus, how do we know where the Devil even is?!" Ann shouted, " _Carmen_!" The blonde's Persona soon made it's appearance while shining with fire that Shadow somehow managed to block with his sword, "What?! How?!"

"We have to leave this to Crow! He has a second Persona to which Akira does not know a weakness! And I know where the Devil is!" Futaba screamed, as she helped her teammates restore their health. Everyone looked at her for a moment, before yet another Almighty attack followed up.

"O-oracle.." Whispered Morgana, barely able to stand up again, "But will you be s-safe?"

"We will all die like this! We have to do something!" She groaned, "Crow, use Loki to fight Akira! There is simply no other way, he will completely crush you if you use Robin Hood! The rest of the thieves have to support you and the moment you'll have a key throw it at me! Got it?!" She commanded; Makoto looked up at her while smiling to herself.

Who would have known that a girl that just a few months ago was a complete shut-in would now so confidentially throw orders around during a bloodthirsty battle? She had grown, but it also seemed that traveling through this Palace made all of them grow up and mature. They finally knew what was truly important and it was - to save their Leader from his distorted heart. Now that suicide limit was also in action, they simply could not afford loosing. They had to do this no matter what, and mainly: they _had_ to win this.

Their opponent was stronger than no other. If he knew their weaknesses; the thieves had completely zero idea what kind of bizarre thing the Shadow would come up with at any moment. Akira was known to be extremely quick to come up with solutions which was their massive danger, but it was only fair that they had a trump card too - _Goro Akechi._

It was now or never.

"Crow! We trust you! I don't know what your goal is here, but now we simply have no other choice but to fight together—" the brunette nodded her head with determination, "— _Let's take his heart!_ " She ordered, while making others fire up with inspiration as they all stood in a fighting position.

If Akechi truly had come to cause a mental shutdown inside raven's head, then they had to be careful. They could use brunet's monstrous power to their advantage, make him as weak as possible thanks to this battle and then hold him down until everything was solved. She exchanged the knowing glance between Haru, Morgana and Yusuke who were thinking the same while calling out to their Personas.

" _Loki_!" Screamed Akechi, as a black and white being that most of the group had not seen before appeared in the air with a massive physical attack. The two knives circled around the Master and stabbed him right in the heart. Akira got taken aback by the surprise and almost fell forward onto his knees; but he regained his focus back again while snapping his fingers together and forming a physical barrier, "Shit." Rolled his eyes detective; taking a step back, "So it won't be that easy after all."

"Someone has to hit him and take the temporary fall. Try to use the most harmless attack that you have in order for Crow to sneak up again!" Makoto commanded, and Ryuji nodded while taking a step to the front.

"Don't you dare fail this, you bastard!" He shouted at Akechi while giving him a harsh shoulder bump - making the other cringe - while swinging his bat at the Master, "Take a taste of this!" Akira's eyes lit up with gold as he grabbed the wood with his gloved hand. His eyes stared right into blond's soul, draining energy from him just with a glare, "Shit!" He tried to pull back, but the grip was too strong, "Let — go!" And he did - making the bat hit delinquent right in the forehead with blood leaking out. The barrier was still in place.

"That idiot! Who screams at their enemy before an attack?!" Crow facepalmedhimself, "Fox, try distracting him!" Yusuke nodded without a question, while carefully sneaking away into the back and trying to somehow circle around their opponent.

"Skull!" Ann's eyes widened at what happened, "Is he alright?! Did he faint?!" She tried to get to her teammate, but the Shadow was faster to react and with the swing of his sword formed an ice wall between them - completely separating Ryuji from the rest.

"No coordination. No teamwork. No support in each other." Commented the Shadow, as he swung the sword once again, which formed small yellow electric wings around Morgana's form and shocked him - hitting right at his weakness, "I'm surprised you even managed to make it this far."

"Don't underestimate us!" Ryuji shouted while slowly getting up on his legs; his forehead was bleeding and vision had black spots here and there, "I will get you, you hear me?! _Aaaaaargh_!" The boy snapped back into a run while swinging his bat at the Shadow; Akira sighed getting ready to easily dodge but that was when he felt barrier around him break. He noticed Yusuke from behind losing HP - he must have used blond as a distraction to attack - Akira's eyes snapped to the front but he was too late; two knives were around him and stabbed him straight in the chest just how it was first time.

Before he could even recover - he felt Yusuke’s katana whistle in the air and pierce right through his throat; making the string that had a key attached to it fall onto the ground with a loud click. Artist just as quickly pulled out the blade from Shadow's form and took a step back in defense. Ryuji was already gone with Ann healing him away from the battle.

"You're too cocky." Was all that Akechi said, "In reality with the right combination even you can be beaten." the Master smirked; while the wound in his chest and neck healed without his HP recovering. The key was off other's neck, but now there was a different task - to grab it. Futaba furrowed her eyebrows as she restored levels of SP for the thieves.

"I didn't want to go too far with this, but I guess I have no choice.." The Shadow looked down while pulling up his sleeves which revealed countless of bleeding cuts. Some of them had healed and appeared simply as thick, white lines. Others were still irritated and pulsed in crimson shade; meanwhile the worst ones were still open and clearly bleeding out. It looked painful and abandoned, some of the teens had to look away for a moment, " _Blood Art: Parasite!_ " The liquid from an open cut flew out of his hand and formed into a shape of a massive spider that looked similar to a Tarantula, " _Target: Crow!_ "

Akechi's eyes widened and as he opened his mouth to say something; but the arachnid jumped right at his face while crawling inside his mouth and quickly down his throat. The rest watched in horror as brunet struggled to breathe as parasite made his way further down. The detective lifted up his hands to scratch at his skin, while seriously panicking about what was happening. His legs began to shake.

"What the _fuck_!" Ryuji and Ann finally rejoined the group; not knowing how to help Akechi, "Someone! We have to do _something_!"

"No! Get away from him!" Futaba ordered instead to which Haru blinked in surprise.

"Why?! We have to push that thing out of him!" She tried to reason; and stilled the moment Akechi fell forward - loosing consciousness. Meanwhile the Shadow lifted up his hand with spider webs attached to a voodoo doll in his hand; the moment his second finger rose up - brunet's body rose up like a ragdoll too.

"He's being controlled by the Shadow, but his mind is still present! We have to stay away!" Futaba watched as Akechi snapped back into reality, not understanding what was happening as he was facing the group with weapons out while shielding Akira. His body was not listening to him and moved on his own.

"N-no!" He tried to fight it but instead his wrist reached out for the gun around his hip and aimed straight at the thieves, while shooting without much aim in it, "Fuck! It _hurts_!" There was something inside of him; crawling around and buzzing in his ears. It was for the first time in a while he was truly horrified, "Grab the _damn_ key already!”

"Someone! We have to do this! We can't just stand and watch!" Haru pushed forward Ann, "I'm sorry but you're the one that has the most health out of all of us, you have to be the bait! Distract him!"

"How?! I don't want him to throw something like that spider at me too! No!" The blonde tried to go back behind the rest of her friends, but Haru held her in place, " _No_!"

"You have to do it! The faster you do it then the quicker we will grab the key and get help! Please, Panther! Please!" The model for a while did not say anything as she took a look around, "Distract him so that I can grab the key! _Please_!" She was begging like never before; her voice broke in the middle of a sentence into a sob.

Makoto had her clothes roughed up; her pants were teared around her things with clear cuts that must have been itching. She was heavily breathing as the rest were fighting with manipulated Akechi. The detective himself did not look any better, and every second he kept coughing out blood with some slimy yellow liquid in it. His eyes were sparkling with tears from pain and frustration. Yusuke kept shouting at the brunet to wait just a bit more while he attempted to cut the webs attached to Master's fingers. Ryuji was trying to throw electric attacks as much as possible, but soon enough ran out of SP and fell on the ground - hopeless. His status alignment was now effected with despair that Futaba kept trying to treat while supporting everyone at the same time. Haru and Ann were the only ones who could do this job, and even if she was afraid - she could _never_ betray Phantom Thieves like that.

" _Fine_!" Ann nodded her head, while stepping forward, "Akira! Look at what you are doing! Is this really how much you love us?!" The Shadow gasped and looked at her; not doing anything as he listened. She had to keep going, "Me, Mona, Noir and Skull read the files about us that you have written! If what you said there was true, then why are you doing this to us?!" The Master's hand with a sword flinched, but did not cause any damage, "We are in pain, Akira! Let us help you, we only want the best for you! We will be here for you no matter what happens, so let us! Let us inside your heart! Stop fighting! Stop hurting yourself like this!”

" _We love you, Akira!_ " Ann screamed, and at that moment the eyes on the floor began glaring back and forth between the rest, "We want to help you!" Haru quietly crouched down as she made her way towards where the key was on the floor while silently cheering for the blonde to keep going; whatever she was saying - was working, "I know how painful it must be for you, but you have to fight whatever it is! And we will be there for you to get through this! _I promise on my name, Akira, that we will no longer abandon you!_ " She breathed in and out loudly; panting while the rest looked at her in shock. The Master was quiet, and the moment she thought that maybe all of this was over.

Her blood went cold as she felt something forcefully squish around her throat.

" _Blood art: Death Hold. Target: Panther._ " Was all he said in the monotone voice, "You are a _liar_." He kept whispering, as Panther struggled while an invisible hand lifted up her body by the throat; she kept desperately kicking her legs but nothing helped, "I liked it more when you were honest, _Executioner_." He did not even say her name; she noticed while gasping for air.

"S-stop–" she tried to argue with it, and that was when suddenly Haru threw something their way all the way from another side of the battlefield.

"Oracle! Run!" It was the key, and thankfully the orange haired girl caught it in her hands and instantly began running away. The Death Hold got broken as Akira was distracted and Ann fell back onto the floor, barely believing that she was still alive.

"Guys, just hold on a bit more! I will be back soon, please don't die!" Was all that Futaba said to them while disappearing behind the door that led downstairs.

" _NO_!" Akira's Shadow screamed as he swung the sword - trying to cut hacker's legs and make her fall, but Yusuke jumped in front of her and took the attack on himself. The aim cut through his chest and ripped his upper clothes, with blood gushing out in a river, "LIARS! _ALL_ OF YOU ARE LIARS!"

"Fox!" Haru was by his side while dragging him away, "Careful!" She warned Makoto as Akechi was shooting right at her; brunette barely managed to dodge.

"The only thing that is left to be done is to unlock the Devil! We have to hold him back for now, so that he won’t get in Oracle’s way to the door!” But they did not expect for the Shadow to be prepared for such an outcome already.

“ _Blood art: Guards of the Night! Target: Oracle!_ ”

-

Futaba was running as fast as it was possible for her feet. She could barely breathe and soon enough the girl had no choice but to slow down. For her age she did not have enough muscles to support so much exercise in such a short while; moreover she was underweight.

Even so, she had to keep going.

Orange haired girl slipped once against her own feet on the third floor of the Torture Chamber, and at the last moment had managed to grab the key and safely land on the side without hurting any of her bones. Her head was dizzy, but it was not stopping her.

Hacker jumped onto the second floor while passing by the open doors of three rooms. She felt like something was chasing her and she was not wrong; soon enough there was distant _barking_ behind her and as she looked behind herself she saw three red wolves loudly clicking their teeth in an aggressive way - as saliva dripped from their mouths onto the floor. Her heart sunk to her feet while adrenaline truly kicked in and now she was running without even thinking of taking a break.

Soon she was on the first floor, and now all that had to be done was reach the door near the entrance with a floating lock. Since she had already completed the chess game in the past, when she was going to approach it - it was supposed to open automatically; if not, then she was going to get eaten alive by the predators that were sent after her.

“No, no, no, _no_ , _no_!” There was sweat falling down her forehead, and her legs began to feel numb but with every reminder that there were wolves just a few meters away, her speed would only get picked up further, “Just a little more!” She cried out, and finally she was near the entrance.

Just as she was hoping the lock shattered and automatically opened up in front of her while revealing a staircase that led down into the depths of the building. The stairs were made out of cold stones and were slightly wet. There was nothing but silence inside.

“I’m coming!” She shouted - hoping that the Devil heard her but as she was about to take a step; one of the wolves got to her faster and bit right at her ankle. A scream of _pain_ erupted from her lungs as her body fell forward - hitting her face against the harsh stone. Thankfully the goggles of her costume protected her from a head injury, but the glass inside of them shattered making her vision triple in times, “LET — _GO_!” She used her other leg to hit right at the dog’s face. One, two, three, _four_ \- It finally whined in pain and let her go, which hacker used to her advantage as she jumped back up.

For some reason pain was not sinking in yet; but the only thing that was on her mind was that she had to reach the Devil as soon as possible or this time it would not be as easy to fight off her death. Her Persona did not posses any fighting abilities, which was a massive disadvantage in the given situation. And finally, she reached what she was looking for.

The room was small without any windows or light. In the middle was a massive bird cage, that had thousands of chains around it in a tight grip. The walls around were covered with obsessive writings in red and claw marks were seen all over the floor.

“ _Devil_!” She shouted while inserting the key into a lock and turning it - the chains loudly fell onto the ground as someone inside gasped, “ _Save me!_ ” The hacker cried out and turned around in shock at a wolf jumping right at her.

This was it.

She was going to get her face teared up by a predator. It was going to hurt so much. The hungry teeth would sink into her neck and she would eventually drown in her own blood. So that was how this was going to end. She hoped that the rest of her friends were holding up fine, because there would be now no way for her to check up on them anymore. The time slowed down, while everything around stilled and Futaba closed her eyes in fear of what was about to come.

_They should have never come here._

Suddenly a strong hand wrapped around her and pulled her to the side. She felt her back being pressed against someone’s chest and suddenly something in her mind told her that she was safe. There was a low chuckle right behind her ear as something splashed on her face and there was no more barking. When she finally felt brave enough to open her eyes she saw the wolf’s face squished and dead on the ground. The other two dogs were hesitant at attacking and decided to run away instead with their tails between their legs.

“So that’s what freedom is like.” The voice was Akira’s but at the same time it was different. It was an octave lower, with a deep raspy hint in it and sarcasm at the tip of the tongue, “And here I thought I will never get out. Futaba, you did well.” And that was when hacker was suddenly aware of the lack in distance between them.

“Get away!” She screamed in panic while pushing him in the chest and stumbling back. When she looked up she was finally able to take in the sight of the man.

His skin was red, but for some reason that did not look strange. His locks were black just as expected while accompanied with two small horns sticking out of his forehead. His ears were long and pointy, with a lot of silver jewelry hanging around them. He was well built and dressed in fancy, dark clothes. Devil’s eyes had split pupils like cat’s, but the color was gold - obviously. The moment he opened his mouth to speak further, Futaba noticed the fact that he had sharp fangs and a split tongue just like a snake.

“I don’t mind you admiring me so much, but your friends won’t last long if we won’t get moving.” He reminded her with a smirk, “Unless you want to ditch them?” He cocked up an eyebrow.

“You can’t do that! They’re all waiting for you! And Akechi—“ she got interrupted with an irritated sigh.

“I understand that, _it was a joke_ , _Futaba_.” There was some spice when he said her name, “Let’s go save the day.” He began walking out the room while pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans or something that looked like jeans, “Move along. Master has become aware that I’m free, so he’ll be attacking us. If you fall behind I won’t be able to protect you.”

“Well someone’s cocky..” she murmured under her breath hoping that the Devil did not heard her.

“As much as I can be.” He said instead while going up the stairs, “Ah. _Right_. Your leg is bleeding quite hard.” Noticed the Shadow while lifting up his hand with sharp claws to his mouth and licking at them. After he was done he crouched down in front of the girl.

“W-what are you—“ her eyes went round, but he just rubbed his saliva into the cut like a healing gem; and it began stitching up instantly, “Are you a dog or something?!”

“If you would like to explain this as a part of my cognitive view on myself: that means that I am ready to heal up my own wounds without replying on something else. Is that good enough of an answer for you? If yes, then let’s go.” He stood up while stretching out his back, “I see he’s pretty serious about keeping us back.” He looked up seeing the two high-leveled Shadows with spears ready to attack.

“I- I will help you-!” The girl was about to call for her Persona but Devil shook his head.

“No need. They’re _weaklings_. Save up your powers for the battle with Yaldabaoth instead.”

“ _Who_ -?” the Hacker rubbed the back of her head in confusion as she watched the boy look at her.

“I’m sorry for what I am going to do but it’s needed.” Before Futaba could even understand what was happening a long claw reached out for her hand and cut her deeply on the palm; making her hiss in the air and yelp in surprise.

“O- _ouch_!” The girl flinched while hiding her hand close to her chest, “Why?!”

“ _Demon Art: Brainwash_!” The blood from her wound formed in the air while taking a form of two sharp needles that stabbed through enemies’ eyes driving them insane. The effect was almost instant as the two of them began to attack each other with hungry looks and teared up one another, “That’s why. Now let’s go before more will come.”

“Why did you hurt me like that?!” Futaba kept pushing for an answer; but got ignored as they walked together to the fourth floor.

  
  
-

“Where.. Is... Futaba...?” Ann groaned from where she was laying down.

The whole group was almost dead by now. Their bodies and faces were all messed up with dirt and blood. Some of the parts of their clothes were ripped, bones cracked and vision blurry. They could not keep going. The worst one out of all was Akechi - the boy was barely breathing at this point, and kept going back and forth from consciousness as his body was simply hanging off the spider’s webs attached to Master’s fingers.

“Let’s just hope that... she’s okay..” whispered back Makoto while flipping onto her back and grabbing her stomach, “She..”

“If you would not have fought me - this wouldn’t have happened.” The Shadow said with a sad look on his face, “I’m sorry for what I had done to you. But maybe it is true that there is no saving for me. I will just have to bury myself and the Devil six feet under.” He sighed, and as he was about to lower his hands.

“Do you think I would go down without a fight, Master?” They all looked up at the Devil, who carelessly stepped over their bodies and stood in front of them with Futaba trying to already help her friends heal.

“You-“ Ryuji blinked in surprise.

“Woah.” Yusuke was stunned by the looks of the other Shadow, “So that’s how his suppressed self looks like.”

“Don’t compare me to this _lowlife_.” Snapped the Devil, “I guess it’s time to show what happens when you cross me. Now you can’t run away anymore.” He smirked, as Master angrily waved his hand in the air making Akechi move forward and stab the other through his chest. “ _Aw. What a poor thing._ ” He said completely unfazed by the pain. He gently wrapped his hands around shaking Akechi, cutting the webs with a single snap of his claws and picking up the detective in a bridal style, “Little princess finally got saved by the knight in shining armor.”

“Shut.. Up...” were brunet’s last words as his eyes rolled to the back of his skull and he finally fully drifted away. The Devil brought Akechi to the rest of the team and put him down on the floor while flipping back his hair.

**_ It was sad to look at the way how I kept fighting with myself. The one within me who possessed the truth and memories. Everything about the way how I watched my mother die, my rival, my friends, and the whole reality fall apart to ash. Everything that could have gone wrong - did. It was just too painful to accept that so much blood was on my hands alone, so The God of Control decided to manipulate this distortion against me and turn me into the Master of the Torture Chamber. What a sad, pathetic tale it is of a lonely boy in the dark night.  _ **

**_ My life had always been nothing but suffering. _ **

_“Careful now, this is about to get too graphic for some eyes.”_

The Devil and Master looked at each other while holding a steady eye contact.

**_“Demon Art!”_ **

**_“Blood Art!”_ **


	21. dragon’s lair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m sorry that we couldn’t save Akira.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !Updated tags!
> 
> !Not checked for grammar/typos!
> 
> TW: Vomit, Ear pressure/popping, Gore, Self-harm, Slight cannibalism, Eye removal, Mentions of wasps/bees, Sadism, Masochism

Whatever was happening next, must have been the most terrifying, disturbing and nerve-wracking battle that the teens have ever witnessed in their lives. The Phantom thieves have seen many things: starting from bizarre boss fights and all the way towards this Palace - but nothing could have possibly prepared any of them for what was to come.

There weren’t any Personas included. This was a world that belonged both to the Devil and the Master, so they could abuse the distortion of it as much as they would want to. Even so, there were things that one of them was capable and incapable of doing.

The Master could use something that he called “Blood Art”, which Morgana soon explained to the rest of the ground was partially a special skill of a Shadow. And no matter how strong it was, it had its own price. In order to activate any spell of that sort, the Palace Ruler was required to hurt himself - the more damage - the more accurate, powerful and deadly the attack was. The sword that he kept using with his other hand was more for a show rather than an actual weapon, and soon enough he even got rid of it as it was getting in a way of fighting the Devil.

The Devil on the other hand seemed to have been using something called “Demon Art”, but so far he was seen using it once in front of Futaba and once in front of the thieves and all because of the price that this skill required. It needed someone else’s suffering, not the Devil’s. No matter how much hatred the other experienced for the group, he probably either was waiting for a specific moment to strike or he did not want to kill any of them by accident.

Which one was it exactly stayed a mystery.

And yet, even though they had been fighting for ten minutes now and the timer on the top was nearing thirty - it felt like they were only getting started. It was strange seeing how Master began to actually sweat, furrow his eyebrows and growl from frustration that appeared only once the Devil had arrived. The thieves barely caused any reaction but pity - such a harsh reminder of their weakness and that they had to get stronger.

“How long must this go on? Why don’t you just admit that you must fall?!” The Devil snapped at the other. Since he was refraining so far from using Demon Art, he was mostly throwing an Almighty attacks here and there. They flashed like a nuclear explosions, always making the other Shadow grunt or take a shaky step back.

“I won’t fall alone. I will take you with me. I don’t care about what happens to me, but you absolutely cannot stay alive, Devil.” The Master answered as he raised his hand and stared at his wrist for some time. Nothing was happening while he focused on the blue vein that was pulsing in the middle of his arm with a taunting sight, “I’ll go as far as I will must.”

The Devil smirked, his shoulders dropped in an amused way like this was all a part of some game for him, “Let’s see how that really is, pup.” Other people most likely would have been disturbed about the person literally talking to themselves and fighting, but these two were so different from one another that it was more believable that they were identical twins rather than the same person, “ _Or are you scared?_ ” The moment these words left his lips, something stilled in all of them.

They all held their breath watching what was going to happen. Even the sky began to get heavier and darker, as if it was going to rain soon. Akechi slowly opened his eyes, regaining consciousness while his head laid on Ann’s lap. The blonde this whole time together with Morgana were attempting to fix up everything on their own while keeping an eye on the battle. In case of something unpredictable - they knew they would have to run.

They gasped while watching a Master launch at his skin with bare teeth. They were not sharp enough like an actual predator’s to break the meat in a careful way, so it must have hurt a lot. Something like a crack echoed, and a pained whine came out of the other’s throat as blood was dripping down everywhere: from his mouth, chin, hand, wrist. When he pulled back it was like a river had opened up and to their pure horror a whole piece of flesh was missing. This was not just some type of bite - he _ate_ an actual piece of his own _body_.

“Disgusting and pathetic.” Commented the Devil, watching with something bitter in his golden eyes. The tail behind his back flickered, but it was not like the gore scene was making him uncomfortable, but the fact that the other Shadow was associated with him, “I wasn’t wrong when I called you a dog, because only a hungry dog would go for such a low move.”

To their surprise an answer that they got from a Master was a deep sigh, but this time it almost sounded relieved. Like he had done something that he was thinking about doing for a while, and now finally it had happened, “ _Blood is so hot against my skin._ ” Another cry of pain as he dipped two fingers inside his own wound, “I always feel it boil under this coat that all of you call ‘body’. I feel _rejected_ by it. The body that I am inside of is rejecting me - it can’t hold me in! It’s _tooooortuuure_ -“ he rolled his eyes for a moment while dipping fingers deeper, “I think I am _decaying_.” His eyes looked manic, sick, as he blabbered more and more of creepy chatter, “I _AM_ DECAYING! _NONE_ OF YOU CAN SAVE ME! THIS _ILLNESS_ POSSESSES MY HEAD! I’M _DYING_! I DON’T KNOW _WHAT_ IS WRONG WITH ME BUT I _AM_ DYING AND I DON’T _WANT_ TO BE ALIVE ANYMORE! AND IF ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TO KILL THE DEVIL - I WILL DO WHAT I MUST.” And with that said, he pulled out his fingers out of his wrist and drew a cross in the air, “BLOOD ART-“ He screamed, everyone tensed, “-DER LETZTESCHREI!”

The Devil seemed to have known instantly which spell this was because he automatically reached to cover his ears without even thinking. Behind the Master appeared a massive, golden clock that began spinning with a quickly accelerating speed and the faster it spun the louder began to get the bloodcurdling scream of something that sounded like a crying baby and a siren mixed together. It lasted just for a few seconds - but the effect was there and it sent everyone into an instant panic attack.

It felt like something inside their ears had popped, and no matter how much they were trying to shut their ears - the pressure inside kept increasing and increasing coming to a dangerous pain. The thieves were crying in agony, some of them had fallen to the ground hysterically sobbing and turning in place. Makoto paled as she noticed that her ears were bleeding which had never happened before, she would not be surprised if they all had actually gone deaf. No, it would have been a _miracle_ if they did not just now lose the ability to hear.

The still increasing loud noise kept getting only worse and worse, which sent them all into fight-or-flight mode. Their bodies were shaking, their brains confused with what was happening and the more this lasted the more she thought that they were all going to die from shock.

“I thought you did not want to hurt your friends.” The Devil looked back at the thieves, “You are foolish, Master, because you just now gave me a source for power.” The other Shadow realized his mistake and stumped his foot against the floor while cancelling the spell - the clock behind him had shattered into pieces and soon disappeared into an ash. Making his own friends suffer like that right in front of the Devil meant that now he could use strong Demon Art spells.

He fucked up.

The sound had died down in an instant, and all that the thieves could do was freeze. None of them did anything as they laid in the exact same positions as before; not making a sound. Their bodies were still shaking, too terrified to even breathe loudly.

Akechi had been truly shaken to the core of his being by the terror of that scream, suddenly thinking that dying sounded a lot better than staying alive and seeing what could possibly happen next.

“You claim you love them, but look - they’re hurting and all because of you. I hate them, but at least I could keep them safe.” The Devil was mocking the other with a shit eating grin plastered on his face, “If this will keep on they’ll be useless to me in a fight with Yaldabaoth, so I guess I really do have to keep them safe from you too.” He kept rubbing the salt into Master’s mental wound, while glancing back at the teens, “ _Aw_.” He laughed.

He was laughing. This was _funny_ to him.

The thieves could barely even hear what they were saying. The only thing that had filled up their brains were the ringing noise mixed with white noise in some static. Even if there were faint parts of the sentences that could be caught, they sounded like everything was underwater miles and miles away. A truly scary experience, it made everyone feel so vulnerable and useless.

Weak. They were all weak. A single spell like that made them all almost lose their minds. How the hell Akira had lived with this madness in his head for so long.

Futaba weakly turned around to look at her friends, they were all in a similar state as her. This was soul-breaking, as all she could do was shut her eyes and let painful, salty tears fall down her cheeks.

Yusuke opened his eyes to see Ann looking back at him. They were both completely out of it, looking at each other like they were high or drunk. The artist said something to the blonde, and she might have been unable to hear it, but she read it by his lips. Repeating the movement herself to understand better what was being said to her.

_“You were right. A person with a Palace like this - has to be truly mad.”_

Yusuke closed his eyes, the tension from his mussels faded. He was still conscious, but suddenly it felt like the only thing that he was truly capable of was closing his eyes and drifting away. Ann’s heart picked up the pace for a second at seeing the artist admit to something this heavy, but she soon calmed down while following his example.

Maybe they had actually lost in this battle.

But if Devil was known to be able to beat the Master, what in the world was he going to do.

“Demon art-“ unlike his other self’s, Devil’s voice was calm and filled with gamble, “-Kiss of Death. Target: Master of the Torture Chamber.” The Master looked alerted at the spell, but apparently was not as fast to react as the Devil was during his attack.

There were two skeletons forming right in the air, behind the other Shadow. They sneaked their hands around their target and one of them straight up stabbed the Shadow in the chest. Haru and Morgana who surprisingly were the most conscious ones watched in fright at the way how a skeleton began ripping apart Shadow’s clothes and tried to dig deep with its sharp, bony hand through a ribcage of the other. There was a snap - which resulted in Master screaming from pain, but finally he regained his focus and decided to put his pain into the next spell in order to push off these beings of the dark.

“B-blood A-art-“ he was gasping with each word, sounded almost similar to an extreme asthma attack, “-Cheshire’s t-teeth-!”

Massive two blue eyes opened behind the skeletons and soon enough a grin stretched out in the air. After a second it revealed a gigantic cat’s outline which was the size of truck. As he opened his mouth - it reveal a row of sharp, shining fangs ready to grit their way through. But the spell was taking too long as another scream erupted from Master’s lips and now there was a hole an inch long right next to his heart. None of the thieves were close enough to see, but Haru for a moment wondered wether his lungs or heart just now got openly exposed.

“Oh, is kitty going to save your day?” The Devil laughed, while covering his mouth with his hand. This creature was the true representation of malice. A walking sadist who probably got off to seeing others in pain. Yet both Shadows carried destruction of a venomous kind.

The giant cat finally bit down on the skeleton - breaking its body like it was plastic, and loudly crunching it in its mouth. _Crack, crack, crack._ Soon enough the second skeleton was also destroyed by the same technique, and once it was done the Cheshire vanished in the air the same way that it had appeared. The Master fell forward on his knees - with a snap of his fingers a coat had appeared around his shoulders that he quickly buttoned up to cover up the wound.

“Are you shy?” The Devil knitted his eyebrows, “Don’t be - I’d love to see that rotten, decaying heart of yours. The one that these guys wanted to steal so badly. So, show it to me~” the Master was up on his legs, highly alerted, “Demon Art: Suicide March! Target: Master of the Torture Chamber!”

“W-what?! No!” The other quickly jumped as the ground around where he used to stand began growing large white flowers. The Shadow closed his nose and mouth with his hand, looking back and forth as he tried to come up with a plan, “Poison? What a Devil’s mo-“ he got cut off with his own cough interrupting him. The venom that flowers were spreading in the air was especially dangerous for his open wound in the chest. He had to come up with something and as quick as possible.

“B-blood Art: Honeymoon! Target: The Devil!” Screamed Master while stomping the flowers with his feet. He knew that the thieves were safe from poison since he was the target of the curse, “I think it’s only fair that I will thank you for such treat with a treat.”

Meanwhile the red-skinned shadow’s hands flew to clutch at his stomach as he groaned in pain, “F-fuck—“ something burned at the back of his throat and just as he was about to cover up his mouth - _honey_ began to pour out from his lips and it wouldn’t stop. The sticky, yellow, overly sweet substance that made Devil’s head spin from the lack of oxygen finally forced him to submit to weakness just for a second.

“Blood Art second spell: Candyman! Target: The Devil!” As the Master finished with the spell, everyone who was listening knew that something bad was about to come as the _buzzing_ filled up the area without thousands and millions of _wasps_ circling around the non-human Shadow, “Back in the day there was a torture method, or perhaps execution if you’d prefer me to say that.” The Master spoke, while pulling out some pill to heal himself but it barely covered the damage, “It was called Scaphism. It included the victim being trapped between two boats while covered in milk and honey as insects slowly ate them alive.” The moment he was done explaining, he eyed his bleeding wrist, “I always wanted to see something like that with my own eyes. Would you mind to volunteer?” Even though the vomit had stopped, the other felt too weak to move away.

That was the moment when Haru knew that if they were not going to do anything or assist the Devil - they could actually lose. And watching whatever the other was suggesting would be sick on a different level.

“Devi!” The shouted, the Shadow’s tail flickered and his ears twitched, which most likely meant that he was listening, “ _Hurt me!_ Use my pain to cast a spell that will finally end this nightmare! Please!” The fact that she was begging could be considered pathetic, but not now.

“Me too!” Morgana joined her, “Take as much as you need!”

“S-same.” Futaba whimpered, her eyes watery and ears still ringing, “Don’t hold back. If we started this - then we must finish this.” She frowned at the Master who’s face dropped.

“I LOVED ALL OF YOU!” He cried out, “WHY ARE YOU HELPING HIM WHEN YOU KNOW THAT HE HATES ALL OF YOU!” The Shadow looked like a kicked puppy, there was so much pain in these golden, broken eyes, “ _WHY_?!”

“BECAUSE YOU ARE _KILLING YOURSELF, AKIRA!_ ” Futaba screamed back at him, and everyone looked at her in disbelief. Even the Devil was surprised at the sudden raise of tone, “I AM STOPPING YOU FROM SUCCUMBING TO THIS MADNESS BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TOO, AKIRA! SO TAKE IT, DEVIL, TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU NEED!” She threw her hands forward, “JUST STOP THIS!” Her weak body began limping right towards the red-skinned Shadow, who quietly exchanged a look with her before cupping her face with his hand. The long claws gently caressed the skin for just a moment - which made her cheek be fully covered in honey - and then stopped with the sharp tip right under her eye.

“ _This will hurt._ ” He warned her, to which she broke into a weak smile.

“ _I know_.” Was all she said as the Devil stabbed his claw right into her eye socket and began pulling out an _eyeball_. The hacker’s vision was now in red and black spots all over the place as shock began to settle in at what just happened. The moment it was over, her body fell back with Haru catching her into her arms and closing up the wound for her.

“Demon Art...” Whispered the Shadow, as he stood up, “Dragon’s Lair.”

This was it.

The Shadow began to grow in size like crazy, as his body slowly began to get covered by reptile’s scales. His face stretched out forward, his tail thickened in size and clothes ripped while he took the form of the Dragon himself. And that was the moment when Futaba thought that probably no one was match such monstrous - _truly monstrous_ \- power.

This was malice. This was nightmare. This was animalistic madness.

“H-he’s going to kill him.” It suddenly hit her, “He is _actually_ going to kill him.” The horror as she watched a creature with a size of the building by now spread its bat like wings and flied up. The wind that got caused by such action would have blown them all off the roof, if they didn’t have a wall right behind them. The Master looked troubled and appalled, “We- We have to somehow- _Save_ the Master.”

“We will get ourselves killed.” Haru shook her head, while hugging the hacker close to herself, “I’m sorry-“ she sobbed, “ ** _I’m sorry we couldn’t save Akira._** ” Once the words had left her mouth, the Dragon erupted a loud rawr and with it opened his mouth to throw a blue flame right at the Master who couldn’t do anything but watch. He tried to cover up his face with his elbows but felt himself burning alive without having any time to cast a healing spell.

“I killed him.” Futana cried, as they all watched the blue flames finally disappear with the Shadow falling forward only two HP left. His whole body was shuddering and his clothes were burning as he weakly threw himself on his back, “Akira!” He was still alive! She thought, while trying to run up to him, “Akira, _please_!”

_The Master looked at her, and the last thing that she got from her beloved Akira was a weak smile that admitted defeat._

She was cut off as the Dragon landed back on the surface - while squishing with his foot Master’s body - the blood and bones cracking like a child’s broken toy. Nothing but gore left in place.

This was over.

The Palace began crumbling down.

The Torture Chamber of Life was falling to pieces as the Dragon was lighting up the whole mansion with his flames.

Akira in the real world stopped.

There were tears streaming down his face.

His mind had shattered.

The room was too small.

His body was too heavy.

His breathing was unstable.

The reality became distorted.

Sojiro gave him a questioning look.

But this was all over.

He ran out of time.

He remembered everything.

His dying friends.

The God of Control.

The agony.

The pain.

The resentment.

His hands were shaking.

Something inside of him died.

He died.

A part of him.

That had hope.

Love.

Care.

Affection.

It died.

He died.

The only thing that was left behind was anger.

Uncontrollable anger that was aimed to destroy.

Yaldabaoth was guilty in everything.

It was payback time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont know if this is really considered as major character death, personally I don’t think it is but if you think so please tell me so in the comments bcs i honestly dont know if i should put up the warning or no lol 
> 
> The story has almost come to an end, but there will be a plot twist. It depends on you wether you’ll like it or no 
> 
> Thank you all for everything and I love all of you ❤️


	22. oh, Trickster..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “..everyone is your enemy and always will be. And the main enemy that you have is not me, this world nor Goro Akechi, it’s..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter of Distorted is here ladies, gentlemen and non-binary! ❤️ Thank you so, so much for all the support that you guys gave me while following this book and all the nice words that you have said to me. I appreciate all of you so, so much. You are all very much amazing and I hope that you’ll enjoy this chapter with a plot twist!

They never took the Treasure. They never got to find out what it was. They never found the third Will Seed. They never got to find out where it was. They never sent the calling card. They never got to see the look on Akira's face when he would understand what was going on with him. They never talked properly with the Master. They knew that he was dead.

Their Akira died, and in a way they were the ones that killed him. As they walked out of that Palace - partially thanks to Dragon's assistance - the group healed and physically looked like nothing had ever happened. Futaba's eye was back, Akechi's wound was stitched up, Ann's bruises around her throat had faded, but they were all mentally scarred.

What happened in that Torture Chamber shall forever haunt them with guilt. The red-haired girl was the first one to stand up on her feet. It was midnight and they were all in the Student Council Room of Shujin Academy.

"We never stole the Treasure." She whispered, nobody said anything, "We did not change his heart. They were supposed to fuse together, why did the Devil—"

"Are you _stupid_?" The detective hissed at her, "When did he _ever_ mention he was going to fuse with the other? He kept saying that they'll both fight to death."

"We were supposed to save him-!" The girl argued back. It felt like a knife was getting stabbed into her throat, because she could not speak with crying.

"He was a lost cause from the start, Futaba!" _Crack_ , "People like him are impossible to save!" Another _crack_ , "He said so himself that he was decaying." Futaba wanted to fight further, to prove that this was not true, "Don't be blind! Even I admit that whatever this Palace was - it was a nightmare." He turned away, "I made a deal with him though, he might not remember but if now the Devil will be ruling the body I'm sure he'll contact me soon." The brunet stormed out of there without taking a single look back.

Akechi absolutely hated loosing. There was something about the feeling of defeat that never sat right with him. He was a perfectionist, he was an idealist and an intellectual. Whenever he lost a match he would always come back to re-try until he would beat his opponent with his eyes closed. Akira used to be his rival, his friend, his equal - he was everything to him. Very, very many things. But after the final battle and after being thrown around like a puppet he once again felt like he was not a human but simply a tool. A meat shield or a sharp blade, he was used as both by Shido and the Master.

The detective was not stupid, something inside of him whispered to him that he could battle the Devil again if he wanted, but that would be a suicide call. There was simply no way he would ever win unless he would somehow cheat towards his victory, which was not the way how he liked to do things. Sure, Akechi was a liar and an actor, but when it came to the things that he wanted to accomplish for himself - he wanted them to be real.

With dark thoughts on his mind; the boy exited school’s building and stopped the moment his phone had buzzed. Just as expected it was Akira. It was not a friendly text or a threat - it was a demand. Command. Order. Akechi grit his teeth at that but knew better than anyone that there was no other way than to follow.

-

"I thought that by the end all of you understood!" Futaba was still looking at her friends with desperation in her eyes, "I thought you-"

"Once we are done with Shido's Palace and Mementos.. We won't see Akira again because his probation will end in April." Ann interrupted her, "Let's act nice for our own sake. The Devil is the one that stayed, Akechi is right, and we saw the files with his honest opinion."

"Never thought I was going to say this.. But.. we have to behave. Who knows what he can pull off if we do something wrong. He could give us into the police for all I know.. Let's stay cautious and we will eventually leave the spider's web." Makoto tried to stay professional as she pulled out the Nav to check for the Palace - it was gone.

"What are you guys saying?! This is our Akira, why are you-" Something inside of Ryuji snapped as he watched how Futaba would not stop defending their ex-leader or maybe even their current leader.

"Futaba!" He shouted at her, everyone jumped. Morgana stepped in front of the girl in a protective manner, "This is not our Akira! I might be dumb, but even I get it! Our Akira is fucking dead, okay?! We couldn't save him, I'm sorry, Futaba! But we failed!" The hacker took a step back while shaking her head, "He! Is! Dead!"

"Ryuji, _stop it_ -" Ann scoffed.

"No! She has to understand that clinging to someone who is gone - is _wrong_. _We failed, Futaba._ We could not save him." The blond's voice was harsh and sharp, every word came out like a stab in the gut to everyone present.

"I didn't.. I-I didn't- I didn't mean to- kill.. him." All that she could think about was that she lost yet another person who she loved with her whole heart. A part of her family that was never going to come back anymore, "I didn't kill him!" She said louder. The memories of how she shouted at the Master and sacrificed her eye to the Devil haunted her thoughts.

"Futaba-chan..." Haru lowered her gaze, "It's all over. I'm sorry."

" _I will never forgive any of you!_ " She screamed at the group, taking them all aback, "I never wanted to go! I knew something bad was going to happen! No! No! No!" The girl was sobbing uncontrollably, barely able to take a breath in while tears and snot mixed up all over her face, "NO!" She fell on her knees, "I will never forgive any of you.." she said a lot weaker, like a small, heartbroken child, "I will never.. _ever_ forgive any of you."

"It's not our fault either, he did it to himself-" Ryuji said; feeling troubled, "Futaba, you can't just blame us for a shit like this. We are not murderers, we are not like Akechi-"

"HOW ARE YOU DIFFERENT, HUH?! _HOW_?!" The hacker stood up and pushed him in the chest with all power. The ex-runner stumbled back as his back hit the wall, meanwhile Futaba kept weakly punching him with her shaking fist. It did not even hurt the boy physically, but this imagine stabbed him mentally, "KILLERS! ALL OF YOU! ALL OF YOU KILLED AKIRA! All.. All of you. I will never forgive any of you. Never."

All that Ryuji could do was look at the rest. They exchanged the look of pity between each other, and Haru gave the delinquent a weak nod. Slowly, the blond wrapped his hands around Futaba's form and stroke her hair.

"NO!" The hacker flinched back, "ONLY AKIRA CAN DO THIS! DON'T TOUCH ME!" There was something in her eyes - crimson - similar to anger, hatred, "All of you are horrible! He always loved all of you so much! He worked and worked and worked until the only thing that I could hear through that damn bug in his room is silent crying. He had issues of his own but he never wanted to bother any of you! And none of you even bothered to comfort him after the interrogation! None of you bothered to wish him a happy birthday! None of you ever bothered about anything connected with him!" Her own world was crumbling down, "Because it is easier, right?! To just look away when the issue is right in front of you. That's all that people do after all - they look away as if nothing is there, because being an ignorant asshole is always easier."

She did not love the boy romantically, and if she did began to develop something deeper rather than casual domestic emotions, then she never had time to properly think about it. Everything was in a fog and her feelings felt like a puzzle that was impossible to solve. Although, that did not even matter anymore, the most important factor was that she had lost once again. This whole time she tried to protect the thieves meanwhile she should have been protecting her beloved Akira.

"And now we _lost_ him." She concluded, her hands falling down with her eyes red from all crying in such a short amount of time. Her head was aching, her shoulders felt heavy, her nose stuffed and ears blocked. The whole room seemed hazy and unclear.

"Futaba.." Morgana was by her side, rubbing his fluffy head against her, "We might have not stolen the Treasure, but.." he picked up some small paper with his mouth that was laying on the floor this whole time.

There was a petite blood stain in the corner, but it did not matter. That actually served as a proof that this was most likely the last thing that she could have gotten from her Akira. The hacker silently unfolded the note and read it. Now tears were coming back all over again and she was afraid that the paper was going to tear from her violent shaking.

**_' What made me sick, Futaba? '_ **

"A-akira.." she hugged it closed to herself, "Akira.." denial. Not wanting to accept. “N-no.. Akira..” Running away. Fuck it. “Akira..” Fuck everything. Fuck everyone, "Y-you weren't sick.. You were just.. so.. so.. _lonely_."

Nobody said anything to that.

-

Akira did not change, and the fact of that was creepy. He acted completely normal, almost too normal for the fact that this person’s Palace had crumbled down. There was no sudden anger issues nor depressive episodes - simple, casual behavior.

They’ve stolen Shido’s heart together with detective’s assistance. There was some tension between the two - nobody wanted to pry, not even Futaba - that caused the brunet to officially agree on the deal. This was the only reminder that Akira had changed: _he was not afraid of Akechi._ In a way he always toyed with him, mocked him and made fun of him. The interrogation room was not a taboo topic anymore, but quite often joked about.

They thought that maybe humor was his coping mechanism, but that was when more strange things had popped up. Akira would kill Shadows even if they would give him money or items, he would disappear into the unknown in the evenings and come back only early in the mornings. Sojiro who wanted to confront him about this behavior only got an annoyed eye roll as an answer.

“Akira?” Futaba knocked on the wood before entering the attic. She heard some shuffling around and eventually a hum that encouraged her to come in. She was met with a sight of their Leader playing some game on his phone, not even looking up at her or thinking of pausing, “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Ask away.” His reply came out dry and bored. His eyes lazily blinked at the screen as he sat more comfortably on his bed, not even taking off his shoes before throwing them onto a mattress. The hacker used to do the same, but there was indeed something wrong with seeing raven do it and with such unbothered face expression.

“When it was your birthday, Sojiro gave you a book in a wrapper. What was that book?” His eyes widened and his finger slipped, making him loose in the game that he was playing. The room got filled up with the music from his phone and a robotic “GAME OVER”.

“Ah, that.” He shrugged; sighing and restarting the game, “It was my diary. Well, not really, but it was just a book in which I wrote down important facts and- yeah.” For a moment his eyes flickered up at her, “Anything else? I’m a bit busy.”

“Why did you throw it out in July?” She pressured the boy to talk further, “Was there something bad written in it?”

“How is that any of _your_ business?” The raven spatted out back at her. _There it was._ This little part hidden inside that they had all seen in a raw nature, but of course Akira was not aware of that, “Exactly. It’s none of your business.” He shook his head; paused the game and stretched his lips into a smile, “Sorry,” he chuckled, “I’m having a bad day, why don’t we talk tomorrow about this? Hm?” In other words - _I don’t want to ever talk to you about this._

“O-okay..” the red haired girl said with hesitance, “Sorry for.. _Uhm_.. interrupting you.”

“Awe, don’t apologize. You didn’t know and were curious, that happens.” He tried to brush it off, while sitting up. It was not nice to watch how badly he was trying to seem kind. Just how two-faced he had become.

“You.. You remind me of Akechi for some reason.” She whispered, and the other bursted out laughing. Some reaction that she definitely did not see coming, “What-?”

“I’m a bit offended at that.” Her blood went cold. Right, why would she ever compare two rivals like that. They hated each other and raven went through hell because of the brunet, she should have been more considerate of his feelings and-

“Oh, god. I’m sorry I didn’t- want to compare you to someone who attempted a murder on you-“ she was speaking fast, nervously moving in her place while eyes ran around the room.

“Oh, it’s not about that.” _It’s not?_ “It’s the fact that he attempted and failed.” The air in the room became colder, “ ** _And I wouldn’t fail_**.”

_This was not her Akira._

“A-ah. Understandable.” She breathed out, “Well then.. I have to go.” The hacker knew that there was nothing for her to do here. At least not now.

“Stay safe.” As she was about to walk away, “Oh, and one more thing.” He stood up and walked forward. She thought that she was going to flinch, but she did not. Yes, this was a completely different person, but he did look exactly the same. An image of a dying Master flashed right in front of her eyes, but before she could panic at the memory a reassuring hand rested on top of her head and slowly ruffled her hair, “It’s not the end yet, so no need to be so down all the time, mmm?” The raven softly smiled, meanwhile something in the girl’s heart fluttered.

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

-

Akira was planning on going to Mementos as soon as possible and finally getting his revenge on the God of Control. Since when he had become this obsessive? There were many strange occurrences surrounding him. First, total amnesia of his past. Second, behavior for months out of his character and now this. What even was this? As if he had somehow changed, but he could not understand how and why exactly.

“Welcome back, Trickster. It seems you’ve rehabilitated yet another heart.” He had fallen asleep and ended up in the Velvet Room, it’s been a while since he last visited this place, “Something seems to have been tormenting you.” Fake Igor spoke, while leaning his face against his palm.

“Have respect, Inmate!” Caroline was not having it as she angrily glared at the other. Akira let out a troubled puff but did not even care about the displeased twins.

“Drop this facade, Yaldabaoth.” He furrowed his eyebrows, his eyes firing up with golden. The God of Control grinned at that, meanwhile Caroline and Justine exchanged a confused look.

“What are you-“ The non-aggressive warden took a step forward.

“Shut up.” Akira felt his form changing and soon enough blue flames coated his body as chains circled around him. The outfit of a pathetic criminal began to vanish into his Phantom Thief clothes as his face appeared with the Joker’s mask, “How long you thought I was not going to notice?”

“ _You didn’t._ ” ‘Igor’ chuckled as the bars of the cell cracked and fell on the floor of the Velvet Room, “It’s because your confidants had noticed the change and took an action.”

“What action?” Raven tensed for a moment, “What did these _idiots_ do to me?!” He stepped out of the cell and headed straight towards the false god, but Justine and Coraline barricaded his way with their metallic bats.

“Stay back, Inmate!” One of the wardens warned him, while straightening up her back with the will for a fight.

“We will eliminate you if this attitude shall continue.” Her sister looked him dead in the eye, and even though she was known to be constantly serious, right now she looked more intimidating than ever.

“What can you two even do when you know shit?” The boy put one hand on his hip, and pointed with his other hand at Yaldabaoth, “This bastard is a faker and not even your real Master.” He repeated himself, feeling irritation crawl up his back, “Out of my way.” He warned; the girls did not move and that hit a nerve, “I said: _Out. Of. My. Way._ ” His voice went at least an octave lower, almost with a small growl at the end.

“You need a lesson, Inmate!” Caroline was shocked at the sudden tantrum that this delinquent was throwing. Seeing such audacity of actions after all the service that they have humbly provided was insulting.

“Humans are truly tragic.” Justine looked disappointed and even a bit sad, as the two of them got ready to summon magical spells to fight off the rebellious soul in front of them.

“Nobody has any right to be in my way.” That was the only thing that raven had said as he ripped off his mask - blood splashing on the ground and dirtying his gloves but he did not care after doing the action so many times for these past month in the Metaverse.

The mask instantly carved into a Persona of his choice, and for the first time in forever he felt himself using Arsene once again. Before he avoided using that Persona, because his weakness to Ice and Bless was often uncomfortable in the battles and he always took too long to level up.

Today though Arsene finally was the needed strength and had a blockage against his weaknesses. Perfect. It didn’t matter why or how that happened - the boy simply used that to his advantage.

The twins knew what they were doing as they smashed at their opponent with the strongest attacks choosing all elements possible. They were perhaps looking for the sensitive spot to hit, but kept missing which made them frustrated.

“Damn it!” Caroline cursed, as the two of them were panting from exhaustion and tiredness, “This is not right, something is wrong!”

“You’re right, sister..” Agreed Justine while taking a step back and a shaky breath in. They were probably not used to fighting, and had expected for the Inamte to be already dead by now, but he was still standing.

“Are you two done?” Asked Akira, “ _Now it’s my turn._ ” The sickening smirk that followed once he said that actually scared something in the girls as they shielded themselves from an attack, “Maeigaon!” He called upon, as Arsene flattered his wings and the twins felt black and red flashes burn them, “Gigantomachia!” They could not understand how he was still going and going while using such strong skills, and when Arsene even gained those, “Vacuum Wave!” Another groan from both of them; they knew they had to fight back already but Akira never even gave them time to get up, “Psycho Blast!” And again once they thought that they would get up on their feet - they fell back, feeling lightheaded and confused.

“U-ugh..” Groaned one of them. Something snapped the wardens out of a trance when they heard a loud and clear ‘ _click_ ’ of a _gun’s_ trigger. And as they had expected when their eyes looked up at the Phantom Thief he had a gun - the one that Morgana and Futaba had gifted him - pointed right at them, “Don’t y-you dare-“ threatened Justine, but her tone pissed him off and he aimed right at her leg; without hesitation _shooting_.

“I will repeat myself: _nobody has a right to be in my way._ ” Justine was smarted than Caroline, and did not provoke the other any further. She carefully crouched next to her twin while observing the wound from a bullet.

“Marvelous, you’re so much better than Goro Akechi.” The Fake God finally decided to say something after watching in silence the scene that unfolded; that was when Akira lifted up his gun and now aimed right at the entity’s head. 

“Speak.” He commanded with a fearless look in his eyes.

“My, my. Vulgar, but gracious. How interesting.” The God chuckled, “I have taken a true liking in the way how your heart had carved itself through the challenges.” The being positioned one leg over another, acting unbothered by the weapon pointed right at him, “As you know, me and Igor had made a bet. But just seeing the way you are and how it was so easy to occupy and distort your heart. _Say, why don’t you join my side?_ ” Akira’s eyes widened as he did not expect that turn of events, “You are no fool, Trickster. You are intelligent, wise, powerful and don’t you think you’d fit the place of Goro Akechi better?” There was something hypnotic in the words, “Goro Akechi might be capable of murder, but we both know he had never been fully capable of upholding his personal ideals. He is weak; nothing but a tool that let’s himself be thrown around and used. He underestimates the others around and too much power ends up destroying him in the end.”

There was truth in these words. Akira found himself slowly lowering the gun, but his awareness stayed high. His eyes pulsed with golden as he watched the room through a special skill - seeing the red outline surround Yaldabaoth’s form. _He was yet too powerful for raven to grasp by himself_ , thought Akira, _he needed more time and training._ There was never enough time.

“What are you scheming?” The boy tsked at the speech, “Get to the point or you’ll taste my bullet, _Treasure_.” He was being cold and maybe overly cocky, but that did not matter at that moment. Yaldabaoth decided to do as he was requested.

“ _Swap places with Goro Akechi. Start over this game, Trickster._ ” The entity suggested with its grin stretching out. Even though his true nature had already been exposed, for some reason he still kept Igor’s appearance.

“My main goal is to beat you, especially after everything what you’ve done to me.” Akira saw this at first as a pathetic attempt on escaping death; which made him want to laugh but he held that in. Not yet, maybe a funnier joke was going to come up, “I detest you,” Raven said that with ease, words danced off his tongue like a mantra that he played on repeat in his head, “I detest you more and more with each second.”

“Now, now. Aren’t you wiser than that? You can’t beat me, you’ll die once again.” The mocked tone felt like a scratch against the boy’s pride, “Think, Akira. These people who you used to call your friends simply due to slightly different circumstances used you, hurt you, neglected you and abused you. If you were to be on my side you would get what you truly desire.” The Phantom Thief was not stupid, he knew that all of this was simply a play of right words, but he was curious to listen further in.

“My true desire?” He re-asked, to which Yaldabaoth nodded with a pleased look on his face.

“Now you’re listening. You desire revenge, but I was not the one to blame. Blame your _confidants_ in failing you. Blame _Goro Akechi_ in putting you through hell. Blame _the world_ for treating you unfairly. I am not the one you wish to destroy, Akira.” The False God was saying just the right things at the right time that made the other actually stop and think again. Which was bad. _Or was it?_ Akira had no idea, but this confused state that he was in angered him.

“Don’t put words in my mouth-“ The grip on the gun tightened; but soon the succumbing words began to deceive him once more.

“You wish to destroy the whole world for what it had done to you. You resent _everything_ , and that’s fair.”He was not being judged, he noted to himself, “Life for you had become a torture chamber.” _That’s right_ , nothing in this life was making him happy, “You were meant to be under my guidance, Akira Kurusu. I see such high potential in you.” 

“Master, what does all of this-“ Justine finally could not hold it in as she blinked wide eyed, realizing that the Trickster from before was right when he announced that this was not the real master of the velvet room. She got cut off with a loud sound from the pistol, and soon her leg just same as her twin’s got pierced with a bullet. A small cry of pain whimpered out, but she held herself together. Caroline stared in shock, and even fear.

“ _Don’t talk_.” Akira did not even spare a look at the wardens, as he motioned for the False God to keep talking.

“Cruel. You’re no Goro Akechi. Goro Akechi would have hesitated. He let himself be used. He was a tool, meanwhile you - Akira Kurusu - can be the _mastermind_. You’re no tool.” All of these speeches felt like sugarcoated compliments and unnecessary praises. The brunet would already fall apart for that, but raven felt disgusted at this. He wished to gag.

“How could I be the mastermind if I were to be under you? That makes me no different from Goro.” The Phantom Thief let out a weak sarcastic ‘huh’ while ruffling his own hair to ease some tension.

“You forgot your own words from earlier? Goro Akechi would attempt and fail, but _you_ would attempt and succeed. Do you understand where I am heading with this?” Now they began actually talking.

“ _Tsk_. Even though I will be in a way under your guidance, it does not make us allies. We would _still_ be enemies.” Akira crossed his hands over his chest with a frown.

“You caught up fast.” Yaldabaoth commented, to which the boy rolled his eyes. He wanted to insult the other, but now was not the time for useless chatter.

“You made things complicated.” The boy had a lot more to say, but perhaps this was the best way to summarize all of his thoughts at the moment.

“Things are complicated. The reality is distorted, nothing is simple and this life is nothing more than a game. Why not play such game in a way that would finally make the pieces fall into place? If you still don’t fully agree with my point, then see it like this: every time you will collect confidants, change hearts, lose Goro Akechi and get defeated against the battle with me. This endless loop makes things boring and wrong.”

“Hm.” He had no idea what to say, but he saw that there was indeed a seed of truth in this.

“The people who you used to love and adore had _died_ , Akira.” The teen gasped at that, “No matted how many times you’ll try again, they will always be different people. Not same. _The confidants who truly appreciated you fell in that battle._ ” Again this was the truth, they might have been the same people but at the same time they were not. Because every single little thing that was done or being said differently, already made them into other people. _That’s right. His real, actual friends were gone._ Whoever were these fakes from this reality were a look-alike version of them, but never them. And suddenly he felt _alone_ once again. Alone like never before.

“You were meant to be in Goro Akechi’s place. Now that I’ve seen what your heart is capable of - I am more than certain of that.” Yaldabaoth concluded, “I’m know that you were meant to go through this battle and then stand on the other Wild Card’s place.”

“If I will.. do what you suggest. Then instead of everyone being my confidant.. _everyone_ will be my _enemy_.” Akira looked down at that. His head was about to get a migraine from this pressuring, annoying conversation that could never be avoided no matter what.

“You’ve lost the part of yourself that had connected you previously with Igor - it was destroyed by the people in who you had put in your trust. You were fooled that they were your real friends, but they weren’t. They all lied to you. They all used you and were getting ready to toss you away the moment you would have become useless. You are their _tool_ , nothing more. Same as Goro Akechi.” That hit a nerve as he grit his teeth, “I hope you’ve learned a lesson from that occurrence-“

“What does that even mean-?” He tried to interrupt the other while he was in the midst of whatever this could be called, but the False God ignored his question and continued with his speech.

“-so from this point on, everyone _is_ your enemy and _always_ will be. And the main enemy that you have is _not me_ , _this world_ nor _Goro Akechi_.”   
  


It was sad that Akira knew the answer to that already.

  
  


**_“It’s yourself.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wish to see antagonist Akira, a role swap au, and to find out what was Akira’s treasure then go check out the second book 😉 ❤️ 
> 
> About social medias if u wanna chat with me!!  
> My insta (i might not accept u due to personal privacy reasons but we can still chat): @sundrophunny 
> 
> At any rate, thank you all so so much for reading. Now that I have finished writing this book, I will work on the grammar mistakes and possibly on adding some artwork once i get my hands on an ipad lol. We’ll see 😉 have an awesome day ❤️ i love you all


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